Inspired by WWE announcing a match a year ahead of time, TNA has announced matches for an entire show a year in advance.
"We are always looking for ways to one-up our competition," said TNA President Dixie Carter. "WWE has a four-sided ring. We had a six-sided ring. WWE brought back a big star last month in The Rock. We countered with Sting and Hulk Hogan. They have the sledgehammer. We have the barbed wire baseball bat. They do one run-in and ref bump per pay-per-view. We do at least six. And now they've announced one match for one year from now. We're announcing ten. We are very proud that we continue to find ways to serve our fans by topping WWE in every way possible."
Here is the lineup:
10. Crimson vs. Amazing Red: Loser has to change their name to a different color.
9. Gunnar vs. Murphy: Winner gets to change their name to something marketable.
8. Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle: Loser Goes to Rehab and gets to pick three other members of the roster also desperately in need of rehab to go with them... [CONTINUE READING]
Stamford, CT – Disappointing news for wrestling fans today, as they will have to wait just a tad longer for the dream match up of The Rock vs. John Cena. Originally the match was planned as the main event for Wrestlemania 28 next year in Miami, but that announcement was reportedly a mistake, and instead will take place at Wrestlemania 38.
The Rock later cleared up the misunderstanding to The Potato.
“The Rock misspoke last night, he got a little bit caught up in the moment, and for that The Rock apologizes,†The Rock said. “The Rock said one year, when he really meant ten. But honestly, The Rock has better things to do for the next nine years than wrestle Cena...... [CONTINUE READING]
Most wrestling fans are aware of the fact that Kurt Angle was using his Twitter account during WrestleMania to voice his ire at the use of certain moves during specific matches. According to Angle, these moves should be his and his alone, and anybody else who uses them should be ostracised. (Obviously, he was somewhat less eloquent.)
Throughout the night, it became clear that Angle was not just taking the proverbial piss, and was serious about his criticisms. Randy Orton replied in a chastising tweet of his own, and most people believe that that was the end of the issue...[CONTINUE READING]
After spend the last two months destroying The Rock's popularity, Vince McMahon vowed Monday night in a post-Raw press conference to now begin rebuilding him.
"It's a policy of ours to try to knock anyone's ego down a few notches and humble them, then rebuild them so we can take credit for their resurgence," McMahon told a throng of reporters in the media area after Raw at Philips Arena in Atlanta last night.
"I assured our stockholders that we would be able to blindside and trick Rock into completely destroying his bond with fans and move his massive popularity to a level more in line with John Cena," said McMahon. "We assured them that this was good for business because while Rock wrestling for us again is a tremendous boost, using Rock to build up our full-time star... [CONTINUE READING]
WWE has announced Wrestlemania 27, scheduled for Sunday night, April 3, will actually be taking place the next night instead.
Roughly 60 minutes into the four-hour pay-per-view extravaganza, WWE producers realized the script for WrestleMania had been mixed up with the script for Monday Night Raw, resulting in a PPV event filled with backstage comedy skits, D-list guest stars, and (apparently contractually required yet typically nonsensical) appearances by Mae Young, the Bella Twins and Hornswoggle.
“Monday Night on USA Network promises to be the most exciting night of the year after Wrestlemania,†a WWE producer says. “In addition to the premiere of ‘Tough Enough’ and the 2011... [CONTINUE READING]
The entire roster of the WWE All-Stars video game has been suspended for Wellness Policy Violations.
A spokesperson for THQ was uncharacteristically forthcoming when contacted by PWPotato.
"We actually set up a table in the locker room and had a doctor sell these guys steroids out of a briefcase," said Becky Brickstone. "We felt like we'd sell more games if the wrestlers were more muscular. It makes sense, doesn't it? We used the very latest in steroid technology. I mean, these guys were massive. Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Randy Savage, The Rock, even... [CONTINUE READING]
The Rock called Vince McMahon today at 12:01 a.m. ET time and broke the news to him that he won't be at WrestleMania after all.
He explained to McMahon it was all an April's Fool ruse. We have obtained details on the conversation, details provided to us by a confidant of Vince McMahon whom quickly turned around and called PWPotato to tell us the full details.
The Rock told McMahon that he was crazy to believe he'd actually show up at WrestleMania. He said he was having so much fun with how excited everyone was getting that he even went so far last week as to say he'd wrestle again. He thought that would be the time when everyone realized he was just messing with them...[CONTINUE READING]
Since TNA Impact aired last night, PWPotato has learned that Vince Russo booked every tag team in TNA to break up and reform.
Just in the last four hours:
-Ink Inc. broke up and reunited.
-Beer Money broke up and reunited.
-Team 3D reunited and broke up again.
-The Beautiful People broke up and reunited.
-Mr. Anderson and RVD formed a close friendship, then broke up.
-Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan officially broke up, but then renunited.
-Scott Steiner and Rob Terry broke up, but reunited and hugged.
-Jeff Jarrett and Karen angle got a divorce, but quickly renewed their vow... [CONTINUE READING]
Sobriety issues continue in TNA. At TNA's recent Victory Road PPV, Jeff Hardy was in such bad condition he couldn't perform. More recently, Kurt Angle was arrested for being drunk behind the wheel of a car. TNA president Dixie Cater agreed to an exclusive interview with PWPotato to discuss these incidents...
PWPOTATO: Thank you for agreeing to this phone interview, Dixie.
DIXIE CARTER: It's a pleasure! Every time I get to publicize TNA I'm just as happy as a sardine in a bathtub.
PWPOTATO: Dixie, we need to ask you about TNA's growing reputation for substance abuse...
DIXIE CARTER: I'm gonna stop you right there. I don't allow any drinking on the job in my company. Public drunkenness is just as frustrating as watching three-legged dog trying to bury a bone on an icy pond... [CONTINUE READING]
-The traditional gimmick behind TNA’s Lockdown pay-per-view is they hold a series of steel cage matches. This year, TNA is trying a new gimmick; a cage around the arena in an attempt to keep fans inside. “Fans are always trying to skip out early, but now with the cage in place, they will have to stay for the entire event,†Hogan revealed.
-After hearing that Finlay was released from his WWE contract, TNA immediately contacted him about a position in the company. Reportedly Finlay turned them down, mentioning he’d already found another position at Taco Bell that paid more than TNA was offering. [CONTINUE READING]
PWPotato has exclusively learned that the Gay Pro Wrestling organization is upset with being referred to as "gay wrestling" by various websites including TMZ.
"We are not 'gay wrestling.' There are porn sites out there that feature 'gay wrestling.' We are Gay Pro Wrestling, and there's a big difference. Referring to us as "gay wrestling" demeans what we've worked so hard to get past. There is a real bias out there against 'gay wrestling.' We see our fight as similar to Vince McMahon trying to get people to realize WWE is not 'pro wrestling' but is rather 'sports entertainment.'"
Just to clear, PGW wants it to be known that they feature gay pro wrestlers, but not gay wrestling.[CONTINUE READING]
PWPotato has learned that WWE Creative actually turned in a blank script to Vince McMahon on Sunday for this week's Raw tapings.
One exasperated WWE creative team member explained. "We sat down and wrote our usual script, full of PG-level insults and stereotypes aimed at women, minorities, gays, the handicapped, fat people, Southerners - you know, all the things that Vince McMahon loves to laugh at. But then we realized that with this whole GLAAD dust-up, we were told to write a show that would pass sensitivity training. So we began taking out that stuff out, and when we were done, we just had wrestling matches and minutes blocked out for wrestlers to fill time with promos talking about - and this hard to say with a straight face - winning and losing... [CONTINUE READING]
Indy mega-star and TNA veteran Homicide, at age 34, has signed his first WWE contract. Many of his fans are disappointed that he "sold out," but Homicide reported on Twitter that he was looking for a more stable road schedule and a steady income. He also was pleased with Daniel Bryan's push and has high hopes for Tyler Reks, too.
"We're very excited to have Homicide on board," WWE's spokesperson Michelle Longround. "Of course he’ll have to change his name for PG purposes. We have settled on his new name being 'Jay Walker' primarily so he can still keep his important street cred"...[CONTINUE READING]
Help us put a caption on this photo. What are Lou Thesz and Mae Young saying to each other that made Sam Muchnick (to the left of Thesz) laugh? And why is Lou Thesz tapping The Destroyer on the shoulder? Post your suggested caption in the reader comment area below the picture [click CONTINUE READING to get there] or email us at pwpotato@gmail.com...
Earlier today on Twitter, Michael Cole called Josh Matthews "f-ggot." He said later on Twitter that people took it the wrong way. "It was obviously not meant the way it was taken." PWPotato has found evidence of other Michael Cole posts on Twitter that he said "were not meant the way they were taken."
After being arrested earlier today for standing in line to order food at McDonalds completely naked, Kurt Angle issued the following statement:
KURT ANGLE STATEMENT:
"Thank U to my supporters. Yes, I was naked. My clothes got hooked on my car door as I was getting out. I didn't even realize I was naked because it was a nice warm day. Thankfully it wasn't too cold or I would have been really embarrassed. Ha ha! Anyway, when the police showed up, I thought there was a hold up or something... [CONTINUE READING]
Stamford, Conn. – Move over Drew Carey. Today WWE has announced that any celebrity who has ever been on any of their television shows has been granted immediate induction into their celebrity Hall of Fame.
Among the new inductees this year are Macaulay Culkin, Ben Stiller, David Arquette, Vanna White, Steve-O, Snooki, Cheech (but Chong was strangely omitted), Florence Henderson, Mickie Rourke, the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers defensive line, the "Where's the Beef?" lady," and dozens of others... [CONTINUE READING]
Special thanks to Vince Russo, Vince McMahon, The Shockmaster, Dan Quayle, The Hardys, Poopy Jokes, and Big Egos and Blowhards Everywhere.
WANNA BE A POTATO CONTRIBUTOR?
Do your friends say you're funny? Or do you at least think you're funny? Can you write well? Do you know a lot about pro wrestling and follow it closely? You might have what it takes to become a contributor to PWPotato. Email us at pwpotato@gmail.com if interested (and include a writing sample). We welcome Reporters, Columnists, Top Ten List Writers, Cartoonists, and any other satire / parody formats.
DEFINITION: "POTATO"
(verb) In pro wrestling, to "potato" someone is to strike them for real, usually unintentionally, most often done by a green, careless, tired, or chemically impaired wrestler; sometimes done on purpose to settle a score or send a message (or because you're a bully.)
