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BROKEN NEWS: EDGE SUSPENDED FROM RETIREMENT, MUST COMPLETE 60-DAY SUSPENSION FIRST
Apr 21, 2011 - 11:47:20 AM |
BY JUSTIN SCOTT - PWPOTATO REPORTER
STAMFORD, CT - Last week on Monday Night Raw, Adam "Edge" Copeland announced he was to retire effective immediately due to lingering neck issues that prevented him from ever being cleared by WWE to wrestle again. However, PWPotato.com was able to learn exclusively via leaked conference call amongst high-ranking WWE officials that Copeland has been re-instated to WWE programming and suspended from retirement.
During his retirement announcement Monday, Edge quipped that because of his spinal fusion surgery eight years ago that required his throat being moved over, a plate being placed in his neck, as well as screws, that "I knew I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on."
That reference of the now-outlawed word in WWE, "wrestling" has prompted Vince McMahon to abide by his newly, internally-implemented standards and practices policy where a full mention of the word "wrestling" without trying to cover it up results in a 60-day suspension, which Edge has now been subjected to, temporarily exiting from his new position in the company, an ambassador, so says the Owner and CEO of the WWE.
McMahon opened the call by making sure son-in-law, WWE Executive in the new Talent Scouting department Paul "Triple H" Leveseque, hadn't been challenged by any other of the young Superstars in the company, telling Levesque: "Because you know, if someone did, I'll special order one of our breakable Announce Tables for the overseas tapings and make sure you get 10-minutes of promo time before that ingrate gets his on national Television."
Levesque stated someone with a headband and cheap-looking t-shirt gave him a cocky smirk at Raw, last week, but he couldn't remember his name, but suspects the person is the same guy some reporter brought-up after the WrestleMania Press Conference. Vince moved on and asked for Executive Producer of all scripted-WWE programming for over 25-years Kevin Dunn's opinion on the matter of, as Vince himself put it, "the w-word" being used on their flagship show, but Dunn was reportedly too busy making sure Sin Cara's trampoline could only be seen partially in highlight packages and future editions of Monday Night Raw.
As the call progressed with Vince talking to Triple H and his wife and creative higher-up Stephanie McMahon, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations Johnny Laurinaitis and Vince's lawyers and Linda McMahon, who was there to make sure the punishment wasn't too "edgy" (no pun intended) so she could run for Senate in 2012 without another controversy hanging over her head, many ideas were tossed around from everyone involved. Soon the list of tasks for Adam "Edge" Copeland were completed and faxed to everyone in the Corporate office, as well as Copeland himself, who is in England with WWE as they Tour outside the United States.
Vince said, to close the call, "Alright, we have our list. Copeland is still under contract so this is all by the books, as my lawyers have cleared me to announce. Starting Monday, we show this ungrateful S.O.B. who's boss around here."
The list of tasks for Edge to complete over the next 60-days is as follows, written as they were said during the closed Conference Call:
Mondays: Construct, attach the cords in, place the items needed and deconstruct the Cole Mine, as well as practice full-speed with Sin Cara before Monday Night Raw.
Tuesdays: Having Booker T run his entire Commentary of that night's SmackDown taping by him.
Wednesdays: Travel to FCW and teach the Superstars, Divas and some of the Trainers on the art of "accidentally" showing a woman's bare breast during a Live Sex Celebration.
Thursdays: Watch Impact three times over to remind himself doing 60-days worth of tasks in WWE is better than anything he would do in Orlando, Florida on select week days and Sundays.
Fridays: Learn from WWE Executives, including Vince McMahon himself, the art of not mentioning "Wrestling" and other banned terms by the newly-named WWE.
Saturdays: Test Ladders for sturdiness.
Sundays: Put on his best smile and pitch the hell out of WWE's latest Pay-Per-View extravaganza alongside Scott Stanford and Jack('s Got Your Back) Korpela.
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