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BISCHOFF LASHES OUT AT PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR PRODUCING BIRTH CERTIFICATE

Apr 28, 2011 - 11:10:45 AM



BY KYLE STEVENS, PWPOTATO REPORTER

After two years of right-wingers, mostly those who don't like taking orders from some black guy from Hawaii, demanding that President Obama produce his birth certificate to prove he was really an American even though he doesn't look like one to them, he did so.

TNA executive Eric Bischoff, who moonlights as a right-wing nutjob on his Facebook page, posted the following today:

"Obama CREATES CONTROVERSY with his arrogant refusal to produce a birth certificate during the Presidential election. He is FORCED to produce it when polls suggest most think he may not be a citizen, then blames the controversy on 'carnival barkers.' In the meantime- Syria is on fire, there is no policy in Libya (although we are fighting there) and the economy continues to tank. I hear a fiddle and smell smoke."

When pressed on the issue by Facebook followers what Obama should have done instead, Bischoff explained:

"HE should HAVE done it earlier. BUT since he DIDN'T do IT earlier, I was going to CRITICIZE him no matter what he DID. See, my agenda is to LASH OUT at anything he does. IF I ask him to TURN right, and he turns RIGHT, I'll issue STATEMENT saying he should have better things to do than listen to a pro WRESTLING promoter. If instead he turns left. I'll lash out AT him FOR not listening to me and doing the opposite of what MAKES sense.

"Let's put it this way. If a CNN POLL showed ALL AMERICANS wanted the president TO make TEXTING while DRIVING illegal, I have two statements ready depending on what he does. If he proposed a law banning TEXTING, here's what I'd write the next DAY: 'Obama CREATES CONTROVERSY with his arrogant ATTEMPT to tell GROWN adults what they can do in the privacy of their OWN cars. What's next? Is he going to tell us what MUSIC we can listen to?' But, if OBAMA instead ignored the poll RESULTS and spoke out against an anti-texting LAW, I'd write: 'OBAMA refuses to listen to AMERICAN people! People die every day because of TEXTING while DRIVING. It's what the MAJORITY of AMERICANS want, and OBAMA refuses to listen!'

"See how this works? You learn in a job LIKE mine, featuring CORPORATE bullsh*t as CURRENCY, to have an answer ready for SCENARIO A and SCENARIO B. You WIN either WAY.

"Had Obama NOT produced a birth certificate YESTERDAY, I was ready with this: "OBAMA has TIME to go on OPRAH, but wouldn't a BETTER use of his TIME be producing a long-form Certificate of Birth to PROVE once and for all he is PRESIDENT? This PRESIDENT'S refusal to once-and-for-all put this issue to REST is distracting the country from bigger issues like Syria, Libya, and the surging stock market index and the complete reversal of job-losses compared to the Bush administration over the past two years that you'll never see on Fox News.' Wait, something's not RIGHT there. I better check my notes."

OBAMA REVERSES JOB LOSS TREND UNDER BUSH - 2010 CHART...

ObamaBushJobsChart2010.png


UPDATED 2011 CHART...

ObamaJobsChart.png


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DEFINITION: "POTATO"

(v) In pro wrestling, to "potato" someone is to strike them for real, usually unintentionally, most often done by a green, careless, tired, or chemically impaired wrestler; sometimes done on purpose to settle a score or send a message (or because you're a bully).

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