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BROKEN NEWS: ABYSS HEADED TO WWE ON 2-21-11, TNA SHOCKED NO ONE IS UNDER CONTRACT
Jan 31, 2011 - 10:43:13 PM |
BY WADE KELLER - PWPOTATO LEADER
WWE fans tonight were intrigued with the mystery of who the person was in the horror movie-style vignettes teasing the arrival of someone new to WWE on 2-21-11. The Potato has learned it's Abyss.
This is part of a larger story, as the Potato has learned that nobody in TNA actually signed contracts. As with Kevin Nash and Booker T, TNA didn't have anyone signed to contracts. This oversight has led to a potential mass exodus of talent from TNA as WWE tries to sign away all of its top stars before WrestleMania.
"We're pretty embarrassed, actually," said one TNA front office source whom we'll call Won Dest. "I'm sitting here surrounded by boxes of unsold t-shirts, posters, calendars, mouse pads, iPhone 2 cases, iPhone 3 cases, and empty cigarette packages and ash trays, and I hardly noticed this stack of contracts collecting dust. I apparently was supposed to forward these to TNA Legal when they were shipped to us, but I just got so behind with other stuff. Trying to organize all of this TNA merchandise nobody wants to buy is a full time job in and of itself."
As a result, WWE is expected to sign Beer Money, Matt Morgan, Samoa Joe, Crimson, Hernandez, Magnus, Sting, and even Jeff Jarrett in the next several weeks. Our sources say Jarrett will be used as the person who ends Ted DiBiase's losing streak.
Other signings could follow. Dixie Carter is scrambling right now to try to sign enough talent for the next TNA Impact TV tapings.
Says one WWE source close to Vince McMahon: "Vince doesn't really need all of this talent, and the budget is pretty tight lately, but he just couldn't resist sticking it to Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan like this. He's actually considered hiring some of the TNA wrestlers he doesn't want to put on TV to instead do his yard work, paying them out of his own pocket. He was surprised at how quickly the Knockouts leaped at a chance to earn minimum wage, but according to Gail Kim and Awesome Kong, TNA pays its Knockouts less than $20,000 a year. Vince McMahon spends that much on toilet paper and cologne every week. Seriously. Don't ask."
McMahon also plans to sign a few TNA main eventers just so he can suspend them when they fail their Wellness Policy entry test. "He wants to increase the percentage of people he suspends to prove the policy works, and he feels signing the obvious three or four TNA main eventers who are always wasted would be a good way to up that percentage," says our WWE source.
Because of this oversight, The Potato has learned that Dixie Carter's parents have suspended her cell phone privileges, locked her Twitter and Facebook accounts, and taken away two of her three cars.
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