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RAW ANGER 1/31: A QUICK LOOK AT THE POST-RUMBLE RAW
Feb 1, 2011 - 4:07:45 AM |
BY MARIN MCHENDRY - RAW POTATO UK CORRESPONDENT
This column isn't another review of Raw, it's a not-so-serious look at what WWE have to offer us on Mondays. I try to submit it as early as possible, but given I'm in the UK, sometimes sleep is needed between viewing and writing.
So, the night after a cracking Rumble match, and Alberto Del Rio announces he's going for the World's belt (sorry Vince, "title") at Mania. I loved the mariachi band playing his song, but did they really have to have them standing all through the promo with Miz and Edge? The guy in the middle was really distracting; he looked like a Mexican Mario!
Raw Rumble is announced. No, we aren't sick of Rumbles at all. Not after last night's 40-man Rumble that was the length of half the PPV.
SanLov defended against Nexus's McGilliHarris. Matches like this make me yearn for the days of Santina. I also get freaked out that all Kozlov does is headbutt people. Poorly.
Hilariously, as SanLov exit, Randy Orton runs down and shoves a ghost out his way. That's what it looked like anyway. So he punts Harris, who has thankfully stopped saying he's a tank/Ferrari hybrid. At least, I think he has. It seems unless you speak Welsh – Batistwo – or have the surname Otunga, Punk won't let you talk.
Plus he can't say he's a Ferrari tank now, Orton punted him. Then ran away. Heroically. ‘Cos he's the face in all this.
1/21/11 promo. Either Undertaker is hanging around in the house from Evil Dead, or Diesel or Triple H are making fun of him. If it is ‘Taker, why is there a brand split?!
Daniel Bryan had a match with Tyson Kidd with the Bellas on commentary. Why are the Bellas employed, exactly? They don't look that nice, and whenever they talk it sounds like you're listening to an excerpt from a sex chat phone line. That's the level of emotion involved
Edge-Miz AGAIN.
Cena, being the GOOD GUY, taunts Miz from far away, to make him lose the match.
GENERIC 3 MINUTE WOMEN'S MATCH.
The SmackDown women won.
Cole points out King has been making mistakes on commentary all night. Is WWE trying to mess with the viewers? Or do they believe Cole doesn't ever mess up? Of course, Cole would never mess up!
Uso's (DAMN YOUR GRAMMAR) vs. Khali/Henry in a dance off. Best bit? Ater the dance off Khali pinned an Uso! I really think they need to make his gimmick that of an ignorant foreigner; if they don't, he'll just keep being embarrassing... Honestly, Vince. I know you love big men, but you gotta have some limits, man! I'm glad you don't, though, and that's why we watch. That, and to moan about it.
Trailer for The Chaperone: Go to one of three cinemas exclusively showing Triple H be out-acted by Bart Simpson's voice actor and some kids! Coming soon, exclusively to Wal-Mart and ASDA!
The Raw Rumble Orton, Cena, Punk, R-Truth, JoMo, Sheamus, Lawler – it was like Bizarro World, with R-Truth eliminating Randy! JoMo again defying gravity, and uh, KING WON. He's on the Road to the Chamber! But he won't be in the chamber itself. Everyone else from the match will. King gets Miz (deservedly). Looks like it'll build to King vs. A-Ri or Cole at Mania.
As King celebrated, Cole shouted, "You'll get eliminated, that's why they call it Elimination Night."
Cole NEVER makes mistakes.
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