KELLER'S TNA SLAMMIVERSARY PPV BLOG
JUNE 12, 2011
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW

INTRO: After more pyro than usual, Mike Tenay and Taz introduced the ninth anniversary edition of Slammiversary. They hyped the top matches.

1 -- ALEX SHELLEY & JAMES STORM (w/Robert Roode) vs. BRITISH INVASION (Magnus & Douglas Williams -- TNA Tag Team Title Match

-Storm brought a six pack of beer to the announce table and joined Tenay and Taz on commentary. Roode acknowledged he's nervous about Shelley taking his place in this title defense, doing a great job conveying that the tag belts mean the world to him.

-Shelley dove through the ropes with a dive onto Williams at ringside, helped by Storm standing on the second rope and spreading his legs to create a large opening for Shelley to dive through. Roode said they'd practiced this and he hoped it worked.

-Roode did his half of the hand wiggling before Storm went into the "Beer! Money!" routine. It once again made the heroes look like undisciplined fools because all of that showboating gave the heels time to recover and reverse momentum.

-Storm scored a very near fall after Shelley hit a double stomp off the top rope on William at 10:00.

-Shelley followed with a top rope sidekick (which Tenay called a "thrust kick") to Magnus. I can see why learning the five or six basic karate kicks in 20 years of announcing is asking a little much of Tenay.

-Storm sprayed beer toward Williams, but Williams ducked, and Shelley took the beer to the eyes. He then kicked Storm, not seeing it was his partner. The heels scored a near fall as a result. The faces came back with Shelley hitting Sliced Bread #2 on Magnus and then Storm scored the pin. A relieved Roode stood up in celebration.

WINNERS: Storm & Shelley in 12:00

STAR RATING (**1/2): Good opening tag match, and I'm glad (and slightly surprised) they didn't rush into some big angle with Shelley and Roode or Storm.

BACKSTAGE: Jeff Jarrett is shown arriving two hours earlier. Then another shot of Angle arriving at the arena.

2 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. MATT MORGAN

-Steiner said before the match he planned to win and show Morgan's wife afterward what a real man is like. His body language and enthusiasm suggested he would be doing a clean job.

-Steiner did a clean job after a clunky, but passable big-man match.

WINNER: Morgan in 9:00 (*1/4)

-Morgan celebrated with his wife afterward, suggesting she might get into the family-fun angles TNA promotes.

INTERVIEW: Jeremy Borash interviewed Jeff Jarrett backstage who gave a basic intense Jarrett wrestling promo vowing to take Angle's Gold Medal. He dedicated the victory to Karen watching at home.

3 -- ABYSS vs. KAZARIAN vs. BRIAN KENDRICK -- X Division Title Match

-Abyss overpowered the "little X DIvision guys" first, but they double-teamed him to regain a brief advantage, because of course the only way for them to compete with Abyss would be with a two-on-one advantage. This sends a message that is so counter-productive to the X Division being a draw. Imagine UFC announcing Jose Aldo & Urijah Faber vs. Shane Carwin? It's a no-win situation for Aldo and Urijah.

-Can we fine announcers for dangling the subjects of their sentences: "Nails it... does Kazarian" instead of "Kazarian nails it." Mike Goldberg does that in UFC more than Tenay in TNA. It just sounds careless. (Now, for the record, I am totally against fining reporters for typos and grammar errors, because that would be just wrong.)

-Occasionally Kendrick and Kaz would battle each other when Abyss was out on the floor. Wait, if they were working together to win the belt so they could "bring it back to the X Division wrestlers" who are treated as some like-minded faction, why can't they just flip a coin and do a quick pin on each other to steal back the belt. Then they can have a one-on-one rematch later to legitimize it in their eyes, but at least it's out of Abyss's hands.

-It turns out Kendrick would deliver a decisive blow to Kaz, then Abyss would yank Kendrick out of the ring and lie on top of Kaz for the three count to retain it. "Picking up the scraps," said Taz.

WINNER: Abyss in 12:00 to retain the X Title.

STAR RATING (*1/4): The whole premise of the match was a mess and counter-productive, unless the goal was to make Kendrick and Kaz look like ineffective, inferior, albeit somewhat exciting fools while showing that size is all that matters and the X Division Title is only around smaller guys' wastes because most heavyweights can't be bothered to enter the division and easily destroy them, even if having to face two smaller guys at once.

4 -- SAMOA JOE vs. CRIMSON

-Intense, intense inside-the-ring start as they pummeled one another with rapid-fire punches. Joe got the best of it, but then ran into Crimson's elbow when he attempted a dive through the ropes.

-Crimson extended his undefeated streak with a sitout powerbomb. Joe lifted his shoulder after three and protested, thinking the ref had only reached two. It was a quick first slap of the mat and it had me fooled. Not sure if that was the intent, but the ref slapped the mat as dropped to the mat and it felt like a two count.

-Joe shook Crimson's hand afterward. But then he yanked Crimson in close and said, "We will do this again."

WINNER: Crimson in 10:00 to extend his undefeated streak.

STAR RATING (**): Definitely a solid big-man match. They played it up as two babyfaces and neither took a strong heel role in the match. Just a good hard-hitting nicely paced match early, but it slowed down in the second half. Crimson still has potential and is worth the push he's getting (his issues aren't any greater than Goldberg's were at the start of his big push), but he's got a ways to go and should be working his ass off to get better and show he appreciates this undefeated streak gimmick he's been given. TNA doesn't really know how to hide Crimson's weaknesses or go all-out with an undefeated streak. The crowd doesn't yet react to Crimson as if he's a Next Big Thing.

INTERVIEW: Borash interviewed Angelina Love and Winter backstage. Winter tried to give Love more pills, but Love turned them down and said she won't be needing that anymore. She said it took her a while, but she gets it now and they're on the same page. "I understand," she said. Winter tried to act "okay with it," but also seemed a bit worried.

5 -- MICKIE JAMES vs. ANGELINA LOVE (w/Winter) -- Knockouts Title match

-As the match was about to begin, Taz had the gall to make a wisecrack about a chubby guest time-kepper at ringside who won a contest held by a snack food company to be Guest Timekeeper. Is Taz really in the business of making jokes about roundish people?

-Winter interfered throughout the early minutes. The ref eventually yelled at her, but didn't choose to order her to the back.

-Mickie hit a Thesz Press off the ropes onto Love, but Winter grabbed her leg from behind. Love charged at Mickie, but Mickie ducked and reverse sidekicked Love for a near fall. Winter helped Love get in the ropes to stop the count. Love then surprised a protesting Mickie in the face with her Botox Injection Kick for a two count.

-When Mickie set up her DDT, Winter jumped onto the ring apron. Mickie turned to Winter and dropped the DDT attempt. She tried a Northern Lights Suplex next, but Love kicked out. Love then scored a near fall seconds later. Mickie came back with her DDT attempt, but it was badly botched to the point that announcers called it. Instead of doing a kickout and a redo, they went with the pin. The announcers had to just say it was "good enough" for the win.

WINNE: Mickie James in 8:00.

STAR RATING (*): The finish really hurt as they should have improvised a couple other moves and went back to the DDT for another try. The rest was passable and nicely paced, with the storyline of Winter interfering interjected effectively.

INTERVIEW: Borash interviewed Bully Ray. Ray made Borash say "Last Man Standing" several times, and asked Borash what the key word is. Borash guessed "standing." He apparently didn't watch or remember Ray's promo from last Thursday where Ray said Styles is just a boy whereas he is a man. Ray said he's a frickin' wrecking machine in the best shape of his career. He said he will be the last man standing tonight. He said he will beat him within an inch of his life. He said he is the biggest, baddest mother f-er to ever step foot in a wrestling ring. His promos are so strong and believable, and he has gotten himself into shape, he should be considered for a main event run going after the World Title. Let's see how he delivers against Styles, as it's tough to have a bad match against Styles.

6 -- A.J. STYLES vs. BULLY RAY -- Last Man Standing Match

-Ray had great facial expressions when Styles began showing signs of life after a sustained beatdown in the early minutes.

-Styles's chest was all marked up from hard chops.

-A big moment came when Styles was punching Ray mounted in the corner and Ray took Styles down with a sitout powerbomb. Ray then grabbed a chain and swung it at Styles. Styles duked. Styles punched Ray in the head with the chain wrapped around his wrist.

-Ray came up bleeding heavily from his forehead.

-Ray made a bit of a comeback and lifted Styles into position for a powerbomb off the stage, but Styles escaped and then knocked Ray to the floor. He took a running leap at Ray on the floor with a flying forearm that looked great without actual great risk or damage to either. The crowd chanted "This is awesome!" - which to me should not be considered high praise y the wrestlers because, ideally, they'd be focused on wanting to see Styles win, not evaluating the adrenaline rush enjoyment factor.

-Styles hit Ray across his back with a chair and then put him on a table. Styles then climbed the truss. Tenay told Styles to rethink this. Taz yelled, "Don't do it! I can't watch it." Styles then leaped off with a flying elbowdrop. The ref bent over and checked on both. The stress of the announcers was about how "amazing" and "sick" it was, but I'd prefer they focused on how effective it would be toward his ultimate goal, which is winning, rather than scoring points with the crowd and getting chants of "This is awesome!"

-As Styles began to stand, Ray shoved him and Styles went head-first through a staging wall. Ray used a ringside barrier to leverage himself to his feet just in time to beat the ten count. The ref awarded Ray the win, and then Ray instantly collapsed.

-Tenay: "This is one match we will never forget." Taz: "This was nuts. This was whack. I don't know what to say." Again, the focus was a little too much on the spectacular action rather than the win/loss aspect and how frustrated Styles must be letting that win slip away. I think the time has come to consciously shift to focusing more on the outcome than how the wrestlers get there, and let the action speak for itself or at least be portrayed as secondary to the big spots and blood and violence. This was a lost opportunity in that respect, but also a great example of where things have gone off course in terms of how the show is presented (this isn't all on announcers, although they are the main conduit to convey the win-loss aspect).

WINNER: Ray in 20:00.

STAR RATING (****): Very good last man standing match. Styles injected athleticism that you don't see out of John Cena in the Last Man Standing format, and with Ray's strategic bumps and violence and in-context use of heavy blood, this all came together, including a suspenseful well-executed finish. The high-risk spots weren't in that range of so dangerous you feel guilty or sad for the wrestlers.

INTERVIEW: Mr. Anderson gave Borash a hard time backstage and told him to watch what he's going to do out there.

7 -- STING vs. MR. ANDERSON - TNA World Hvt. Title Match

-As Mr. Anderson did his wise-ass ring intro with the drop mic on the stage, Sting walked up behind him and scared him .Sting had black paint around his mouth to look more "dark" and intense than usual.

-Sting dominated his "signature" bump-free stand-up brawl during the opening minutes. Mr. Anderson took over in the ring including some time-filling armbars. If Sting is getting paid by the bump, he's going to starve.

-Late in the match Eric Bischoff marched to the ring and distracted Bischoff long enough to give Anderson time to recover and avoid a Stinger splash. He followed up with a near fall as Bischoff did cheerleading at ringside. Sting came back with a DDT.

-Sting did a lousy looking corner swing splash, anticipating Anderson lifting his knees. Anderson got a two count. Anderson then went for the Mic Check, but Sting elbowed out of it to ZERO POP from the crowd. That was stunning how not-over that spot was, which is an indictment of Sting, Anderson, the booking in general, and the overall conditioning of the fans who know a finish is going to involved Bischoff since he's at ringside. Anderson came back with a Mic Check and two count. Sting's kickout got a little bit of a pop.

-Sting hit a Stinger splash in the corner and then the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting made the cover and thought he won, but Bischoff actually made the second hand slap, and the ref only got to two, confusing the situation. It was too clever for its own good. Sting looked dumb for celebrating even though there was no bell or signal by the ref, so he should have known something was awry.

-After the obligatory complaining, Anderson gave Sting a Mic Check for the win.

WINNER: Anderson to capture the TNA World Hvt. Title in 16:00.

STAR RATING (*1/4): At least Sting was bothered to go past ten minutes, but the finish was awkward and convoluted, and the content of the match was not main event worthy. Sting is stuck in 1998 if he thinks he can get away with stand-up brawls in the crowd. At least TNA saved it for him tonight and didn't overplay that shortcut. I know he's in his fifties, so he's not going to take the bumps he took in 1989, but maybe that's a sign it's time to move on or become a "special attraction" now and then in tag matches rather than be the torch-bearer setting the standard in co-main events with one disappointing, lackluster performance after another. That complete lack of a pop for Sting escaping the Mic Check is a glaring example of the bankrupt overbooking philosophy that Jeff Jarrett has pushed since day one. Fans knew Bischoff, who was at ringside, would be involved in the finish, so nothing that happened once he came out to ringside was going to be seen as a likely finish.

INTEVIEW: Tenay and Taz interviewed Karen via satellite. She was sitting at home, wincing as she grabbed her back, and blamed Angle for hurting her. She said she has "magnets all over her body" and is undergoing all kinds of therapy to get better. She said she's not supposed to let her blood pressure go up. She vowed that her husband will come out the winner and be the no. 1 contender and bring the Gold Medal right where it belongs, in Cody's room. She said before it goes there, she's going to put the medal around her neck and call Big Daddy into the room and do what she does best. Tenay called her an "A1 ball-buster." Karen freaked out. Tenay acted totally offended by Karen's comment.

8 -- JEFF JARRETT vs. KURT ANGLE

-The match began 29 minutes into the third hour of the PPV.

-Angle out-wrestled Jarrett in the opening four minutes. Jarrett sent Angle to the floor to take the first advantage in the match. Jarrett methodically beat up Angle at ringside and in the ring, settling on a sleeper at 7:00.

-The crowd was quiet early in the match, as they sensed the wrestlers were pacing themselves for a long match.

-Angle made a comeback and worked over Jarrett's ankle. They went back and forth with some near falls until 12:00 when the ref went down and Jarrett pulled a guitar out and bashed Angle over the head with it.

-Jarrett called out Earl Hebner as a replacement ref, but he took long enough to come down to the ring that Angle was able to kick out before three.

-At 17:00 Jarrett put Angle in the anklelock. Angle escaped and reversed Jarrett into an anklelock. Jarrett cried out in pain and tapped out.

WINNER: Angle in 18:00 via tapout.

STAR RATING (**3/4): Applause for a clean finish for the babyface to end this feud, but the match itself showed the limitations of what Jarrett can do in an epic match setting right now. He does a good rudimentary main event, but nobody's going to walk away from this more enthusiastic about TNA or pro wrestling in general, especially in relation to WWE or even alternative indy options, because of what Jarrett is able to do in the ring as a forty-something veteran who tends to be perceived as being pushed a level above his proper slot due to his position in the company as a founder and part owner over the years.

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