KELLER'S WWE RAW LIVE BLOG 5/9: Hospital Food, Kicking Dogs and Cats, iPad G.M. Messages, Liver Lips, and Kermit
May 9, 2011 - 10:03:50 PM |
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BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR
-Starting this week, follow me on Twitter! @keller_wade
-Michael Cole the first voice we hear on Raw. Josh Matthews then takes over the introduction alongside Jerry Lawler. Cole interrupts Lawler to say Alberto Del Rio is a real king.
-I must admit I get why Vince McMahon gets a kick out of hearing Cole disparage Lawler's dated jokes, such as saying Del Rio's ring announcer's hair "needs an oil change." Cole said 1985 came calling. Lawler said Cole was working at McDonalds in 1985. Cole groaned at that comeback.
-Oh, who to cheer for. Riley, Miz, and Del Rio all arguing with one another. Then R-Truth gets added to the mix. At least Rey is likable.
-Great line about hating hospital food, then revealing that Morrison is the one having to deal with hospital food right now after he did to him last week. R-Truth unleashed on the mic is a blast. You can tell why his friends on the road loved traveling with him.
-Truth says Del Rio, Rey, and Miz can share the same IV and bedpan when he puts them in the hospital, too.
-Truth Quote: "It doesn't matter if you're some pretty boy from L.A., Kermit. It doesn't matter if you're some superhero wanna be from San Diego, bottle nose. And it doesn't matter if you're some pompous Mexican fence-jumper, liver lips."
-Truth Quote: "You kick me dog, I'm gonna kick your cat! The only one who's gonna face that lily-white John Cena is me, and that's the Truth."
-As Truth says he's not waiting around another ten years, the anonymous G.M. interrupts with a message on Michael Cole's iPad. He said despite all of the compelling arguments about who should be no. 1 contender, he sees only three who deserve a chance. The G.M. said Miz does deserve a rematch, so he's in. He said Del Rio is the crown jewel of the WWE Draft, so he's in, too. That leaves Truth and Rey in the ring. Cole milked the moment and announced Rey was the third entrant. Truth was fuming mad.
-Rey agrees and tells Truth he doesn't belong in the match, and that's What's Up and the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth.
-A brawl breaks out with everyone. Good opening segment without an established top tier player from a year ago involved. That's a key for WWE. Pick the right people and give them room to shine.
-A highlight package from Kharma last week reminds me that Jim Ross isn't on the show this week. No offense to Josh Matthews, as spineless as he is on commentary retorting Cole, but Ross just takes things to another level, and WWE needs that extra level right now.
-Beth Phoenix is the obvious choice to be a big-name opponent whom fans believe could battle Kharma evenly. They need to save that match for Summerslam and see if Kharma vs. Glamazon can help the buyrate. Take their time with this. I know, the odds of planning three months ahead on this isn't good. But whenever they do it, it should mean something.
-They're pushing Ryan as a Kane-type big power guy. He's so green right now, it's dangerous to rely on him for much, but he's avoided looking like a total disaster. I'd definitely put his competence above Rob Terry right now. What's with green muscleheads with first names for last names?
-With that Smackdown video package, it seems like Vince McMahon is trying to stick it to the Panicked Peeps last week by showing them Christian's quick World Title loss is just the beginning of his biggest push in WWE yet? Did WWE get those Smackdown ratings and decide to maybe do the obvious, which is promote Smackdown on Raw finally?
-Riley holding his own with Cena in a one-on-one match, or just sharing the stage at this point, helps establish he's more than a chump sidekick. Cena, though, beating him in just three minutes comes close to offsetting whatever is gained through the exposure of sharing the stage with Cena. Riley, who's past age 30, is someone WWE should consider doing something of significance with sooner than later. His dynamic with Miz is good and can lead to a feud between them down the line, but will Miz end up in a position where fans turn him babyface before Riley has a chance to break from him and feud with him as a face?
-Does anyone really get "entertainment" from Cole mocking Lawler's mother dying and Jerry having to celebrate his first Mother's Day without his mother. I mean, it's a Comedy Killer, like a comedian trying to tackle child abuse or cancer. It just silences the room with discomfort. Raw should be escapism and this is territory that just brings everyone down. It doesn't put heat on Cole as much as it makes watching WWE an unpleasant experience or at least herky-jerky to the point that you can't really invest seriously in the money angles.
-Lawler mentioned the name of the referee for this match. Didn't Jim Ross just explain how it has been a WWE policy almost forever (a few years, actually) not to mention ref's by name?
-Good main event on Raw with a lot of dramatic, well-timed, believable near falls leading to the Miz win.
-Rey is a good fit as no. 2 babyface. He doesn't compete with Cena for the top spot, but he can be used in main events like this to give it star power.
---Follow me on Twitter @keller_wade
---Email me: kellerwade@gmail.com
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