THURSDAY POWER RANKINGS - THE MOST ENTERTAINING ACTS OF THE WEEK
Dec 2, 2010 - 11:57:30 AM |
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BY WADE KELLER
There are power rankings in all of sports. Somewhat subjective, somewhat empirical, power rankings put teams in a sport in order taking into account who was hot that week balanced with their overall record and perceived talent level in general. It's tougher to do that in wrestling, which is a performance where wins and losses are determined by a booker. We could do a kayfabe style power rankings, and it might be fun to assess the landscape with a suspension of disbelief, but this week at least I'm doing a Power Rankings based purely on my enjoyment of various acts this week.
1 - JERRY LAWLER: Lawler gets it. Sure, his color commentary seems phoned in sometimes, like someone who is so used to riding his bike a certain route he's stop noticing the world around him, but sometimes the product isn't worth getting excited about, either. In any case, when he's engaged and really steps up to get involved in something, he is the standard by which younger wrestlers should aspire. He is earnest and unabashed. He makes me believe again, makes it easy to suspend disbelief. The goal of a wrestler should be to entertain, but should consider their "entertaining" a failure if they didn't get the viewer to "suspend their disbelief" and get wrapped up in the moment. Okay, that's just the mic work of Lawler. Then once in the ring Miz, he put in a performance that was not spectacular in any loud, shocking, violent, athletic, bloody way. He didn't shed any alligator tears to garner sympathy or lay it on thick. He just worked a match in which every shift of his foot, every raise of an eyebrow, every raising of a fist conveyed more valuable information than two dozen highspots. There's a place for athleticism in wrestling, and no promotion could survive with a card full of 61 year old Jerry Lawler's, but damn if he didn't show the young guys how it's done in terms of efficiency, where he made every move count and didn't waste a movement or even a blink.
2 - THE MIZ: He's just all-around really good as the gloating heel whom fans resent. When it seemed he was about to give an inspirational speech, but then pulled the rug out from under the fans, I loved it. "What this shows is if anyone tells you that you can't do something or live your dream... believe them because you can't! It takes an exceptional person to prove everyone wrong and I did just that. I am nothing like any of you or any of you watching at home. I'm a one in a billion because I actually achieved my dreams." That sells tickets. I want to pay to see him get beat up after that.
3 - KANE: I was cool on the Edge-Kane feud until the last couple of weeks where they started to give me a reason to care, or better put, they gave the wrestlers involved in the feud reason to feud with each other, something not really present at Survivor Series. In the pro wrestling context, Kane showed great range and finesse in dealing with Edge's demands that he sincerely plead for his father, Paul Bearer, back. The journey of emotions Kane went on in that promo alone along with the entire show as Edge tormented him, was a testament to him being one of the more underrated gimmicks of this era when he has material to work with.
4 -SHEAMUS: He showed that with a more athletic smaller faster opponent than his usual opponents of Triple H, John Cena, or Randy Orton that he can keep up. The match with John Morrison on Raw was good start to finish, well paced, well executed, and it felt like they were "fighting to win," not "performing to fill time" (which I felt a little with the slightly disappointed Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston match). He also sold his King of the Ring win well, although it was a little embarrassing that his robe fell off. I kept wondering if he was going to reach down and pick it up and blame Miss USA for not securing it around his neck. He ignored it. Lost opportunity. William Regal would have totally shot Miss USA a look.
5 - PAUL BEARER: He didn't have a chance to say much since his mouth was taped shut for most of Smackdown last week, but when Edge did pull the tape from his mouth, he managed to fit what seemed like a whole Don Rickles stand-up routine worth of insults at Edge and the fans in the span of a few seconds. My favorite was after Edge said he didn't have a father growing up, Bearer said he didn't deserve to have a father, nor did the fans, and even if they did have fathers, they'd all be bastards anyway. His delivery was spot on. It was fun.
6 - JOHN MORRISON: He's not there yet, but he's showing with performances like that against Sheamus this week on Raw that he's worth continued investment. Trying to figure out his personality and how to market it is the tough part. He's quirky and it's hard to out how to position that as a wrestling act. He did deliver this line well, aimed at Sheamus. "When that bell rings, it's not going to matter that you're stronger than me, you're fresher than me, you're taller than me, or that you look like powder."
7 - LAYCOOL: They're usually good for a laugh as they march to the ring and complain and insult someone in sync with one another. This week they complained about being kicked out of Raw and said it was the worst week ever. The line again Vickie that stood out: "She's a cheating, unshaven liar."
8 - JOHN CENA: His retort to Wade Barrett's promo and staying one step ahead of him by having the other WWE wrestlers attack Barrett's Nexus thugs in the parking lot before they got to him was all well played, as was his explanation why security lets him in the building even though he's fired. His beat-down of Justin Gabriel was well done, too, as was his closing line to Barrett - kept simple: "See you next week."
9 - SAMOA JOE: He's finding his character as the badass who's out for himself, but who fights with an eye on integrity, is a good one. The less he yells and screams and foams at the mouth and issues the death threats, the better. When Matt Morgan and Douglas Williams recruited him for their main event, he was strong in making it clear he would join them, but "there is no we."
10 - C.M. PUNK: I'm not sure yet on him on color commentary. He makes this list because he had his moments and brought a different dimension to Raw again on commentary. He definitely is invested in the WWE product, but what doesn't serve fans as well is that he still leans a little too much toward trying to get himself over at the expense sometimes of the product rather than focusing entirely on getting the product over. Then again, he's a top tier wrestler on a pit stop as a color commentator, so it's tough to judge him on the same standards as someone who has settled into that chair for the long run. His complaining about WWE not setting up the announce table again was funny.
HONORABLE MENTION: Matt Morgan, Alberto Del Rio, Maryse, Michael Cole, Wade Barrett, Jeff Jarrett, Brother Ray, Swagger's Soaring Eagle.
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