The Specialists
UNDER THE MICRSCOPE - 11/17 Raw: Clearance sale for Released Wrestlers merch, Relationship Building with Punk & Kofi, Batista vs. Ref
Nov 19, 2008 - 12:54:22 PM |
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I'd like to call the meeting to order. Welcome to "Under The Microscope," where we take a closer look at Raw. If you're looking for a recap, I'm sure you can find one down the hall on the main page. Just ask for Wade or James and tell them I sent you. If you're looking for a look at the absurdity of the evening, Shane will take care of you. If you're looking for arts & crafts, that's on the second floor. Otherwise, thank you for coming. Have a seat.
Any other new business?
Full credit to the WWE for the opening segment as it asked and answered pertinent questions that many fans were asking. This type of "Raw Superstar Forum" would get stale if done too often, but it explained why John Cena was getting a title shot right away and why Randy Orton wasn't suspended. However, they didn't follow rules of order completely as nobody approved the minutes from the last minute and nobody seconded the motion to punch JBL. All in favor? Aye.
As for the people attending the forum, The Microscope noticed Charlie Haas dressed as Charlie Haas.
Several of the WWE Superstars sported their own t-shirts, including Ron Simmons and Santino Marella, with D-Lo Brown wearing the mark of someone without much merchandise. Brown proudly displayed the t-shirt promoting the upcoming Survivor Series, which isn't the worst thing as he's probably happy to be back on WWE TV, but clearly not a sign of high status. Take a closer look at the WWE website, The Microscope notices products from The Sandman, Super Crazy, and Paul London all for sale, but all on clearance. D-Lo, it could be worse.
Some surprising finds were a Sabu T-shirt, a Terry Funk T-shirt, and a Nunzio Ruthless Agression action figure. Shop early before they're gone! Not the deals - the wrestlers.
One final observation from the opening gathering. Mike Knox and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, thank you for standing so close together to give us a better perspective on how big the beard is today. Mr. Knox, you've outdone yourself. The Microscope thanks you and wishes that The Highlanders, The Berzerker, Skinner, and Hillbilly Jim would have been invited to your Smith Brothers Cough Drops Reunion.
The Mild Samoans
Showing footage of Manu's father was a brilliant idea and could have been used to set up his maniacal ways and unpredictable nature. Unfortunately, they showed basic footage of Afa and Sika double teaming opponents in classic 80's fashion with the double head butt and clothesline. It certainly wasn't the worst thing they could have done, however they could have done so much more if they had picked archival evidence of the "Wildness" of the Wild Samoans, with more vicious attacks or interviews when they munched on raw fish.
Afa isn't just responsible for Manu coming to the WWE. As a trainer, he has helped the careers of Batista, Umaga and Snitsky. Thank you, thank you and we all make mistakes.
My Tag Team Associate, by marriage, three times removed
Since C.M. Punk won the Tag Team Championship with Kofi Kingston, they have bonded by
a) Appearing together on camera as often as possible
b) Fighting any and all challengers to their titles
c) Never wrestling together, talking to each other camera or acknowledging each other's presence
If you guessed c), you know how to build a partnership. When Mike Knox attacked Evan Bourne backstage, he first beat up on Kingston. The Microscope has no problem with Kingston and Bourne hanging out in a secluded part of the backstage area where nobody else is around to protect and up and coming talent on crutches, but I would hope that if I held a championship with someone and I was attacked by a man who looks like Ulysses S. Grant, my partner would come to my defense.
In turn, when that man faced off against his nemesis in a Lumberjack match, I'm sure he would take the first chance to go after the bearded assassin. Instead, Punk left the ring several times, but never approached Knox. He did carry the belt to the ring and he was announced as a tag team champ, but I would love an explanation about their tag team relationship. Is this a long-term partnership? A short diversion while both pursue singles glory? A drunken hookup after the Halloween party and both are too embarrassed to talk about it the following week at work?
New Math
During the Lumberjack match, Michael Cole quickly corrected himself after describing the ringside as "30 Raw Superstars" as it was clearly 30 WWE Superstars. According to the website, Raw couldn't support 30 lumberjacks without including divas and announcers. There are 29 wrestlers with pictures on the website and that number includes Steve Austin, Hardcore Holly, and Val Venis. For the record, Mike Adamle is still on the website.
Pardon me, excuse me, sorry, my fault
I hope you caught the end of the Orton match as Batista quickly charged into the ring for the spear just before Orton was going to punt C.M. Punk. Batista first had to push aside the ref who was blocking his path. With the high speed and high degree of difficulty of many moves and timing being so important, it's amazing that this doesn't happen more often. You know what could have prevented this? Mike Knox's beard.
So, who is your favorite bearded wrestler? Comment below.
Lee Stevens recaps Hulk Hogan's CCW and goes Under The Microscope for Raw, but he doesn't catch everything. If you saw something he missed, comment below, or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com
Comment on this Article Below (New!)
(CLICK FOR COMMENTS RULES OR TO REPORT ABUSE)
0) {
$error_message.=$COM_LANG['not_allowed'] . "
";
}
if ($_REQUEST['disc_name'] == '') {
$error_message.=$_REQUEST['r_disc_name'] . "
";
}
if ($_REQUEST['disc_body'] == '') {
$error_message.=$_REQUEST['r_disc_body'] . "
";
}
if ($_REQUEST['disc_email'] != '') {
if (!is_email($_REQUEST['disc_email'])) {
$error_message.="Invalid email address" . "
";
}
}
return $error_message;
}
function flood_protection($INPUT) {
global $comments_db_link, $COM_CONF, $COM_LANG;
$result = mysql_query("select time from {$COM_CONF['dbmaintable']} where ip='{$_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR']}' AND (UNIX_TIMESTAMP( NOW( ) ) - UNIX_TIMESTAMP( time )) < {$COM_CONF['anti_flood_pause']}", $comments_db_link);
if (mysql_num_rows($result)>0) {
$error_message="Flood detected";
return $error_message;
}
$result = mysql_query("select ID from {$COM_CONF['dbmaintable']} where text='{$INPUT['disc_body']}' AND author='{$INPUT['disc_name']}' AND href='{$INPUT['href']}'", $comments_db_link);
if (mysql_num_rows($result)>0) {
$error_message="Flood detected";
return $error_message;
}
return "";
}
function spam_check($email, $name, $url, $text, $path_to_page, $ip) {
global $COM_CONF, $comments_db_link;
$try = 0;
while (!$valid && $try <= 3) {
// Initialize and verify API key
$akismet = new Akismet($COM_CONF['site_url'], $COM_CONF['akismet_apikey']);
$result = $akismet->isKeyValid();
// Possible values: 'valid', 'invalid', 'no connect'
if ($result != 'valid') {
if (($result == 'invalid')) {
// Invalid key
return 2;
} else {
// Could not connect to the Akismet server
$try++;
}
}
else {
$valid = 1;
}
}
if (!$valid) {
return 3; // Could not connect to the Akismet server
}
// Pass comment info to the class
$akismet->setCommentAuthorEmail($email);
$akismet->setCommentAuthor($name);
$akismet->setCommentAuthorURL($url);
$akismet->setCommentContent($text);
$akismet->setUserIP($ip);
$akismet->setPermalink($COM_CONF['site_url'] . $path_to_page);
$akismet->setCommentType('Comment');
$try = 0;
while ($try <= 3) {
// Check the comment for spam
$result = $akismet->isCommentSpam();
// Possible values: 'false' (not spam), 'true' (spam), 'no connect'
if ($result != 'false') {
if ($result == 'true') {
// The comment is spam
return 1;
} else {
// Could not connect to the Akismet server
$try++;
}
} else {
return 0;
}
}
return 3; // Could not connect to the Akismet server
}
function add() {
require('php-captcha.inc.php');
if (PhpCaptcha::Validate($_POST['user_code'])) {
echo 'Valid code entered';
} else {
echo 'Invalid code entered';
return;
}
global $comments_db_link, $COM_CONF, $COM_LANG;
foreach ($_REQUEST as $key => $value) {
if ($key == 'disc_body') {
$comment_text=stripslashes($value);
}
$_REQUEST[$key] = str_replace('<', '<', $_REQUEST[$key]);
$_REQUEST[$key] = str_replace('>', '>', $_REQUEST[$key]);
if (get_magic_quotes_gpc()) {
$_REQUEST[$key] = stripslashes($_REQUEST[$key]);
}
$_REQUEST[$key] = mysql_escape_string($_REQUEST[$key]);
}
$_REQUEST['href'] = str_replace('%2F', '/', $_REQUEST['href']);
$_REQUEST['href'] = str_replace('%3F', '?', $_REQUEST['href']);
$_REQUEST['href'] = str_replace('%26', '&', $_REQUEST['href']);
$_REQUEST['href'] = str_replace('%3D', '=', $_REQUEST['href']);
if ($_REQUEST['dont_show_email'] != '') { $dont_show="1"; }
else { $dont_show="0"; }
$error_message = check_for_errors();
$error_message .= flood_protection($_REQUEST);
if ($COM_CONF['ckeck_for_spam']) {
if (!$error_message) {
$spam_check_result = spam_check($_REQUEST['disc_email'], $_REQUEST['disc_name'], "", $comment_text, $_REQUEST['href'], "");
if ($spam_check_result == 1) {
$error_message .= "
Your comment suspected as spam.";
mysql_query("INSERT INTO {$COM_CONF['dbjunktable']} VALUES (NULL, NOW(), '{$_REQUEST['href']}', '{$_REQUEST['disc_body']}', '{$_REQUEST['disc_name']}', '{$_REQUEST['disc_email']}', '$dont_show', '{$_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR']}')", $comments_db_link);
}
if ($spam_check_result == 2) {
$error_message .= "
Invalid WordPress API key";
}
if ($spam_check_result == 3) {
$error_message .= "
Could not connect to the Akismet server";
}
}
}
if ($error_message) {
print "The following errors occured:
$error_message
Please get back and try again.";
return 0;
}
mysql_query("INSERT INTO {$COM_CONF['dbmaintable']} VALUES (NULL, NOW(), '{$_REQUEST['href']}', '{$_REQUEST['disc_body']}', '{$_REQUEST['disc_name']}', '{$_REQUEST['disc_email']}', '$dont_show', '{$_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR']}')", $comments_db_link);
if ($_REQUEST['email_me'] != '' && $_REQUEST['disc_email'] != '') {
$result = mysql_query("select COUNT(*) from {$COM_CONF['dbemailstable']} where href='{$_REQUEST['href']}' AND email='{$_REQUEST['disc_email']}'", $comments_db_link);
list ($count) = mysql_fetch_row($result);
if ($count == 0) {
$hash=md5($email . $COM_CONF['copy_random_seed']);
mysql_query("INSERT INTO {$COM_CONF['dbemailstable']} VALUES (NULL, '{$_REQUEST['disc_email']}', '{$_REQUEST['href']}', '$hash')", $comments_db_link);
}
}
if ($COM_CONF['email_admin']) {
notify_admin($_REQUEST['href'], $_REQUEST['disc_name'], $_REQUEST['disc_email'], $comment_text, "{$_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR']}, {$_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT']}");
}
notify_users($_REQUEST['href'], $_REQUEST['disc_name'], $_REQUEST['disc_email']);
header("HTTP/1.1 302");
header("Location: {$COM_CONF['site_url']}{$_REQUEST['href']}");
print "Click here to get back.";
}
function notify_admin($href, $name, $email, $text, $ip) {
global $comments_db_link, $COM_CONF, $COM_LANG;
$headers = "From: Comments <{$COM_CONF['email_from']}>\r\n";
$text_of_message="
{$COM_LANG['email_new_comment']} {$COM_CONF['site_url']}$href
{$COM_LANG['email_from']}: $name <$email>
$text
$ip
";
mail($COM_CONF['email_admin'], "{$COM_LANG['email_new_comment']} $href", $text_of_message, $headers);
}
function notify_users($href, $name, $email_from) {
global $comments_db_link, $COM_CONF, $COM_LANG;
$headers = "From: Comments <{$COM_CONF['email_from']}>\n";
$result=mysql_query("select email, hash from {$COM_CONF['dbemailstable']} where href='$href'", $comments_db_link);
while (list($email, $hash) = mysql_fetch_row($result)) {
if ($email != $email_from) {
$text_of_message="
{$COM_LANG['email_new_comment']} {$COM_CONF['site_url']}$href
{$COM_LANG['email_from']}: $name
{$COM_LANG['email_to_unsubscribe']}
{$COM_CONF['site_url']}{$COM_CONF['script_url']}?action=unsub&page=$href&id=$hash
";
mail($email, "{$COM_LANG['email_new_comment']} $href",$text_of_message, $headers);
}
}
}
function unsub() {
global $comments_db_link, $COM_CONF, $COM_LANG;
$id=mysql_escape_string($_REQUEST['id']);
$href=mysql_escape_string($_REQUEST['page']);
mysql_query("delete from {$COM_CONF['dbemailstable']} where href='$href' AND hash='$id'", $comments_db_link);
if (mysql_affected_rows() > 0) {
print "{$COM_LANG['unsubscribed']}";
}
else {
print "{$COM_LANG['not_unsubscribed']}";
}
}
function view() {
global $comments_db_link, $COM_CONF, $COM_LANG;
$request_uri = mysql_escape_string($_SERVER['REQUEST_URI']);
$result = mysql_query("select time, text, author, email, dont_show_email from {$COM_CONF['dbmaintable']} where href='$request_uri' order by time {$COM_CONF['sort_order']}", $comments_db_link);
$comments_count=0;
$time=$text=$author=$email=$dont_show_email=array();
while (list($time[$comments_count], $text[$comments_count], $author[$comments_count], $email[$comments_count], $dont_show_email[$comments_count])=mysql_fetch_array($result)) {
$text[$comments_count] = wordwrap($text[$comments_count], 75, "\n", 1);
$time[$comments_count] = format_date($time[$comments_count]);
$comments_count++;
}
require("{$COM_CONF['full_path']}/templates/{$COM_CONF['template']}.php");
}
function format_date ($date) {
global $COM_LANG;
$year = substr($date, 0, 4);
$month = intval(substr($date, 5, 2)) - 1;
$day = substr($date, 8, 2);
$hour = substr($date, 11, 2);
$min = substr($date, 14, 2);
return "$day {$COM_LANG['months'][$month]} $year, $hour:$min";
}
function is_email($Addr)
{
$p = '/^[a-z0-9!#$%&*+-=?^_`{|}~]+(\.[a-z0-9!#$%&*+-=?^_`{|}~]+)*';
$p.= '@([-a-z0-9]+\.)+([a-z]{2,3}';
$p.= '|info|arpa|aero|coop|name|museum)$/ix';
return preg_match($p, $Addr);
}
ob_end_flush();
?>
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