By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Absurdity specialist (@Shanetexascedt)

“A perfect vision
Some simple ways to let you know
Free range humans all cooped up”
-“Avon” by Queens Of The Stone Age

At the end of it all, wrestling is supposed to be fun for wrestling fans.

You witnessed a WrestleMania build-up that duly noted the bullet points, but forget to build that raging fire to get fans excited.

You witnessed a $65 PPV that wasn’t worth half of that amount, complete with John Cena and The Rock hugging whittle babies and kissing whittle doggies in one of the more soulless, generic, media-friendly PPV endings I’ve seen. It didn’t feel like the “grandest spectacle of them all."

In all, the fun was missing.

After WrestleMania 29, I found myself questioning why I continue to watch the WWE product. Maybe I’ve outgrown it. I feel like I’m watching corporate tiddlywinks, and the WWE Universe is filled with nothing but kids who come out of the womb with John Cena gear on.

Then, on Raw, Cena came out to bait the crowd. Then came WWE falling on their ass with that Sheamus-Orton match and that crowd just ripping it up to my ever-lovin’ delight.




And man...the roar. That roar, folks. WrestleMania was missing that roar. It could be because WrestleMania took place in an open stadium while Raw took place in the Izod Center. At least, that’s what WWE tells themselves why the crowd was mostly dead for the Trips-Brock match. The smartest thing Triple H did was not cut a promo in front of that Raw crowd. They would have unloaded on him. He wouldn’t have gotten a chance to breathe.

That’s why I watch wrestling. The roar. Some would complain that there were nothing but “smirks” in the crowd, but they made that show alive, made it vibrate with energy. Any WWE performer would tell you they would rather have them chanting something than nothing at all.

Even if it’s “Ole! Ole! Ole!” chants. Everybody, from the performers, writers, and viewers are feeling the strain of three-hour Raws. Throwing in that “Raw Active” poll segment in front of that crowd? Good grief. I’m interested to find out if WWE did even more on the fly on the booking. They probably had some inclination on what type of crowd it would be, but I don’t think they expected that.




With multiple movie trailers and “Oh, here’s Kurt Warner with a new TV show!” plugs, watching WWE has been like going to a three-hour meeting. You can appreciate the professionalism, and you can appreciate their execution, but my goodness has it gotten boring. It's been WWE’s corporate shrill week after week.

So, Raw was a lot of fun. I mean, singing along to Fandungoo’s music is something I would like to try out live. It makes his push easier to swallow.

But, don’t worry, folks. Soon we’ll be back to the quiet and docile WWE crowds. You know, the ones who check their smartphones, fall asleep, and wake up when Cena comes out. Monday night was an aberration. It would be great if all WWE crowds were like that (reference: old ECW crowds), but it can’t happen everywhere. And, really, it shouldn't happen all the time. Imagine if every Raw was like that for an entire year. WWE couldn't get any business done. And, viewers would get tired of the absurd chants Monday night after Monday night. I do admit, I forgot whatever story they were trying to tell and just tried to pay attention to the audience.

So, now that the madness has ended, where is WWE now? Apparently Rock has torn the muscles off of all his bones (the pelvic bone especially) ... and I don’t really care if he comes back. So long, Rock. You did your part. Dolph Ziggler is your new World Heavyweight champion, because, well, somebody has to be champion. We’ll see how it plays out.

Finally, Ryback hurt John Cena because that’s how you get ahead in the world: you attack John Cena. And, I would like a replay of that Orton-Sheamus match in full, and don’t forget to include the audio.

That’s it for me. Let them have their chants, man.

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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