By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Absurdity specialist

It's time for chronological Raw Musings from the Twitter Stream @shanetexascedt.

One word to describe three-hour Raws from a viewer perspective: "daunting." See them ladders? You'll get to see more at the PPV.

I was kinda expecting more venom from C.M. Punk regarding the storyline that Ryback injured him. Instead he couldn't shut up about Rocky.

Vickie is a little tight. Oh gosh, what is Hornswoggle doing? And Vince walks in. Of course, nowadays, Vince always walks in during Raws. Kermit The Frog, your social media ambassador for the evening: I haven't been this creeped out since somebody stuck their hand up my ass.

Shield promo: I SAID LOOK AT ME! You know, with The Shield, I see a three man band. Reigns bringing the bass, Ambrose the lead singer, and Rollins the guitarist. Band name? "Full Moisture..."

What is Alberto Del Rio even doing for the PPV? Albert-o looks pretty content going nowhere in a hurry. Oh, and a quick tip: Don't tease that an Alberto Del Rio match is coming after the commerical break.

Of note, I would like some more "Manny Pacquiao got knocked out" jokes tonight.

Pause for a three-hour Raw note. Three-hour Raws will be more entertaining with a lot more Rock video packages. Just getting there is the problem.

Uh...how is this Slammy Awards show any different? Oh, I have to download some App? Okay, thanks. Just go ahead and rig it like you always do.

Lyrics to A.J.'s song: Oh how I hate this -----ing annoying song, please turn heel. Wait, so we're just standing around, waiting for... Brad Maddox. Good God. It is the first time a ref has heard "You Can't Wrestle" chants? Well, Cena has ref'ed some matches.

Vickie: Eat my thigh, biatch. Damn you, Maddox. Damn you to hell. And, the winner of this match: nobody. I just can't hate Brad Maddox and his Maddox eyebrows. As for A.J., here's the script: "So we want you to go out here and scream your head off and throw stuff around and slap Justin Roberts cuz you're really upset and hormonal."

Cena backstage: "Shhh....calm down, A.J. Look at what's happening in the ring. Look how big Antonio's nipples are. See how big they are?" Or... "I think the best idea is for you to check into the loony bin, you wacko." A.J. proceeds to smell where John Cena was sitting.

Cesaro is facing R-Truth at the PPV again? Can Vince come in and change that up? Speaking of PPVs, I believe that Rolling Stone PPV has more hype than the TLC PPV. Heck, I would put all of my eggs into the Rolling Stones basket.

I've given up on Del Rio and moved on to Antonio Cesaro. He'll have a good 2013.

Rhodes on Miz TV: "Hey, we have a match at the PPV and you don't. And I just got back this afternoon." Miz looking like Psy out there. Oppa Miz style. Apparently he's got a prom to go to after this. Don't mock the '70s porn 'stache that Rhodes has. Seriously, Rhodes looks like a French hipster. I like it. And, Sandow makes me laugh every time. SANDOW STARE OF DEATH.

So, Miz TV is bascially these guys telling how much the other one suck. Uh, PPV hype? Ah, here we go. THERE'S THE PACQUIAO JOKE. And, the audience cheers for Sandow telling Miz that he's not a very good host. Miz reminds me of me: an a annoying guy trying to come up with witty names like "The Pink and The Stink." Not good. Not good at all.

Overall, probably a 2.5-2.7 rating this week. Makes me sound like a buster, but this type of show just isn't designed to keep casual fans watching. Yep, not one of my favorite PPV lead-in shows. So far missing the sense of urgency. Hopefully something memorable in the next few minutes...

Shield: "We're here to deliver a special message from Colt Cabana: Eff You." It seems Ziggy's cashing in on Sheamus, who's winning the gold this Sunday? And, I liked the camera work at the end. It was frenetic and crazy and I couldn't tell what was going on.

Finally, I totally forgot about C.M. Punk by the end. Oh well. He's got a playdate with G.I. Rock.

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com .

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