By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Absurdity specialist

You might feel a bit queasy about this smooch-smooch, butt kissin-retirement angle of Triple H, with HBK blubbering about how he loves Hunter so much, man. But, this is leading to something: A big comeback match for Triple H to vanquish the evil Brock Lesnarth and saveth WWE.

If you've seen "The Dark Knight Rises," you can see how this storyline will unfold. Heck, it might even be a WWE film one day...




Brock Lesnar (played by Bane) has invaded Batman's turf and it's up to an aging Triple H (played by Batman) to stop him. But, Brock Lesnar is too young and too strong for Triple H, who doesn't really fight anymore and spends most of his time inside. However, he's still The Game.




The unthinkable happens. Brock Lesnar breaks Triple H. People everywhere go,"Wow, I love to see the re-match someday."




Having been defeated, Triple H is at a loss. He threw everything into the fight, and it just wasn't enough, because Brock Lesnar was born in despair and feasted on death. Meanwhile, Triple H grew up in privilege. The surrounding citizens certainly don't give much love to Triple H after his loss.




Distraught and full of shame, Triple H is a broken man. Incesed, Vince McMahon throws Triple H into jail for not being the guy who could stop...THE PERFECT STORM.

Shawn Michaels (played by Michael Caine) does a cameo to shed tears about Triple H being gone.




On the next night, scared citizens listen to Brock Lesnar boast about how he has beaten Triple H and that he is the new ruler now...




...only to announce two hours later that he's retiring.




To fill the time until we get to the final act, we focus on some ordinary people to carry things along. For instance, C.M. Punk and Cena. Punk is a young hothead, much like Joeseph Gordon-Levitt's Robin character...




...while Cena plays a mister goody-two shoes, but has some dark regrets, much like Gary Oldman's Jim Gordon character. And, I'm guessing Cena's ex-wife has moved to Cleveland, too.




Eight months pass by. Brock Lesnar decides to show up again and terrorize people. There are whispers and rumors about Triple H returning. "He's not coming back." "He's coming back at Survivor Series." "I love Paul Heyman." The world is calling out for Triple H, but he does not answer. Until...it's WrestleMania time.

Aww snap. It's on.




The Chaperone is looking jacked, and wants to face Brock Lesnar at the grandest stage of them all. He climbs out of the prison, with people chanting "Deh-shay, deh-shay bah-sah-rah, bah-sah-rah" (means "payday, payday, payday") as he climbs...




..and brother, The Game is back.




Brock Lesnar is flabbergasted.




While the world watches with baited breath, the bell rings and the Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar mega-fight begins.




These two rivals stand in front of each other, take a long look around, knowing that there is no going back now, and...

begin to dance.







Bustin' out the moves melts away the hatred these two men share for each other. Instead, they realize what it's really all about.




That's it for me, cats. Sorry if I ruined that movie for you. You know what would lighten up the mood? Getting jiggy with it!




Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

We suggest these recent related articles...

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - Raw: HBK To Crossbow Lesnar On Sunday, WWE Asks Paul Bearer's Ashes To Sell Mania, Punk & Triple H's Post-Mania Plans, Cash Cow Cena = Bieber?

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - State of WM29 Card: Rock & Cena To Sing About Buffalo Nipples To Get Heat, What Heyman Should Have Stipulated To Hunter, Punk To Relieve Himself In Urn To Get Heat

ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - Raw & TNA: Using The Recently-Dead For Storylines, Bully Ray King Of Da World, Swagger To Be Sold To N. Korea Post-WM29, And Raw Gets A Flat