By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Absurdity Specialist

It's a shame that a typical WWE PPV build-up is pretty weak, because at least with WWE PPVs, viewers are guaranteed they'll actually remember what happened.

Give it up for Dolph Ziggler. Just watch how he sells Zack's finishing move and it's hard not to be impressed. Things are looking up for the former cheerleader.

The Zack Ryder win is nice and all, but right now, Zack is WWE's favorite new toy. Perhaps the huracanrana move by Zack was to show that he's not just a YouTube sensation? We'll see how far he can go, as Zack went from probably future endeavored to the United States Champion by crafting skits like farting in a tanning bed and eating Taco Bell (Are you serious bro?). I know that several guys have used the Internet to get over (the tag team of John Morrison and The Miz with their Dirt Sheet, for example), but in this case, Zack Ryder wouldn't exist without YouTube or Twitter. He's quite the story of 2011. Heck, he should be sponsored by them.

And, really, the "Ryder Revolution" wasn't some expertly made marketing plan or a thing created by a creative staff. It was one simple bro who decided to live out his bro dreams and all of the broskis around the world responded. All in all, it's one of the more memorable things about WWE in 2011.




WWE painted Cody Rhodes as a evil man, but, really, he was the hero of the night for creating a sane two-man announce team. I thought that Jerry Lawler did a better job in covering for guys (the many mishaps in the Trips-Nash fight, for example) and Cole didn't go overboard. And, really, the commentary just "flowed" better. So, thank you, Cody Rhodes.

That whittle stoner Evan Bourne was whipped by Smackdown heel tag team #49, but Kofi pretty much won the tag team match by himself. Wouldn't it be interesting if Air Boom broke up because Bourne was "caught toking" backstage? Oh right, Air Boom can't go adult. Back to smiling like deranged chipmunks.

I really had no problems with that whole "Ebonics" skit with Horny and Theodore. Short, stupid, and at least a chuckle. This stuff ain't Shakespeare. But, when you have Teddy talking about wanting Jack Swagger to sit on his lap and Sheamus droning on about his family, many human beings become zombies due to bits like these.

They had Cody Rhodes sneak attack Booker T to cover up that...well...Book's a little old in the ring. Not for nothing, but after that spin-a-rooni, Booker was more dazed and confused than Kevin Nash selling the effects of a sledgehammer against his skull.

There was also a very serviceable Orton vs. Wade Barrett match, and it was one of the better table matches. But, there was a concerning thing. Right when they were about to go to the big finish, that "Trending Worldwide on Twitter" icon showed up and it took me out of my "zone." Good matches have that ability to suck you in, and the really last thing you care about is if "Barrett Barrage" is trending worldwide. (I guess. Is that true? Who tweets "Barrett Barrage?") You ever heard the phrase "ruining the moment?" I mean, are you do this Twitter crap for Taker's match at WrestleMania? #TheStreak pops up when somebody kicks out of the Tombstone? WWE has to know when to pull the Twitter trigger and when not to.




The Diva of Dull beats up on a hapless Kelly Kelly, who screams her little barbie head off. Geesh.

Poor Ricardo. Poor, poor Ricardo. First he gets bullied, then he gets broken by that insane fall onto a table.

Triple H has effectially put the definitive word to the ongoing saga that was ... "The Kliq." You've been wondering about that situation for a long time, haven't you? Some ugliness aside, it was refreshing to see Triple H kill a opponent (hey, at least it's not a rookie). I admitted I laughed when the first Pedigree attempt was messed up and took a little wind of these guys's sails. So, the match wasn't a car wreck. Cool. Did the match need to happen? Well, Triple H hasn't annihlated anyone lately, so give him a break.

And, oh, Triple H is still COO (?!?!?!)

The Great White Sheamus defeats Jack Swagger, defending the honor of black santas everywhere. It would be nice if Sheamus had something else than Smackdown enhancement matches on PPV.

The first cash in by Daniel Bryan felt hot. This time...it felt like a mainteance win. They'll leave Zack Ryder alone with the U.S. Championship (I imagine) because the dude sells merchandise and has tons of signs in the crowd. Daniel Bryan? I'm a bit nervous with what they do with him. Daniel Bryan has a loyal following and Mikey Cole hates him. Meanwhile, C.M. Punk has 10,000 people chanting "We Want Ice Cream."

Slick ad for that WWE Network. I'll take the WWE 24/7 service where they blur everything out and leave the "reality shows" out, please. Although, it would be interesting to find out where in the world Drew McIntyre is.

Pretty slick TLC match that had nice bits for C.M. Punk (big ups for the handcuff idea). Alberto Del Rio can be a nasty bastard, but more people were tweeting about Ricardo's sick bump than anything Al did. Miz is Miz, and maybe perhaps we've seen how far he can go. I'm not saying he can't improve, but as far as being a top guy who can run with the ball for a good deal of time?




Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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