By Shane McKinley, PWTorch specialist

It's been three days of fun and debauchery over here in California. And now I present the 235th edition of the Absurdity Of It All.

-So, I guess it's acceptable to believe that Stephanie McMahon dreams about her father's naked ass.

-That whole surreal "Vince in a coma" skit...I felt that there should have been a logo at the end of the bit that read "Stand Up For Nepotism." McMahonmania is running wild.

-Although to be fair, Old McMahon, Lady McMahon, and King McMahon figured we'll all clap our hands together and Tweet each other about how super cool it was to hear Triple H's voice. Considering the Survivor Series main event buildup, it's hard to argue with them.

-I still don't get why Cena doesn't just drop Orton right now...or attack him at the opening bell during the Barrett-Orton PPV match. This is what I see happening...

[Ding Ding]
Orton immediately attacks Cena (because the majority of us don't give a toot about Orton-Barrett again)
Barrett stands back smiling
Match resumes
Crowd pops uppers to stay awake
Barrett reacts scenes from "Monty Python and The Holy Grail"
Cena gets dropped by Barrett for counting too slowly
The King of Kings becomes the Ref of Refs and makes his grand entrance
Orton retains
Cena continues to scrub Barrett's back on Raw (ewwwww)
Triple H announces that he is the mysterious "Raw G.M." despite the fact he's the type of guy that's mystified by microwave ovens.

The prediction is sure to go wrong, sure. I'll also take Chris Jericho being the "leader" of Nexus for $800, too.

-Maybe people like Daniel Bryan for the fact that, unlike a lot of performers on Raw, he actually has good matches you want to tune in for.

-"Don't you care about John Cena's emotions?" No, not really. Why should I? So, John has to bite his lip and do things at his job he doesn't want to do. Join the club. With this feud, I'm stuck watching a WWE movie and I keep pressing the fast-forward button but it doesn't work, fella.

-This whole Linda McMahon election squabble is reminding me a lot of "Citizen Kane." There's been a fraud at the polls, I tells ya!

-You know, I'll watch a movie of Stone Cold Steve Austin trying to become a rock star. Typically, though, he's a bald headed pyscho shootin' and fightin' in films that look an awful like ol' Jesse Ventura flicks.




-TNA's getting "real" in their storylines. Yes sir, they're getting away from those "fake-ass" storylines that, you know, drew money. When I think of "real" storylines, I think of wrestlers shooting from the hip about their little grievances towards other wrestlers. I also think of uncomfortable promos like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K72ve0_9ids):



I'm amazed, though, of how comfortable this "Jeff-Morgan Concussion" storyline feels so far. Matt Morgan was largely unlikeable, even when he was a quasi-face. Now with Morgan standing up for wrestlers's health, at least we know there's something about his character to root for. Hey, an eight foot giant blessed with talent and strength who congratulates himself every five seconds? Man, how could I not root for that?

With wrestling fans, there's a divide as well when it comes to the issue of concussions, I believe. I tend to sigh when I read reports along the lines of "he hit him in the head with a trash can lid." Will Morgan-Jeff draw money? Will people be interested? Will TNA blow more money and sign Randy Moss? Straight cash, homey. Heck, why not another disgruntled NFL player in the TNA ranks?




-I wouldn't be surprised, with all the drama going on in the NFL, if they announced they had a creative staff. I can't turn on sports radio without hearing "Brett Favre" repeated a billion times.

There are some things you're going to get on every Raw:

(1) R-Truth will get his shine.
(2) LayCool will be annoying teenage girls and greeted with silence.
(3) The Hart Dynasty will continue their long-winded divorce.
(4) Fans will be amazed how quickly former World champion Sheamus was dropped to the mid-card.
(5) Ahmed Johnson's back and killin' suckas. Hide your kids and hide your wife. Z's clotheslinin' everybody!




Later guys, girls, and Randy Moss. Stand Up for Absurdity. And by standing up for absurdity, I mean give me money. Lots and lots of it.

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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