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Magic, Memories, and Mania
VALENTINO'S MAGIC, MEMORIES & MANIA: Is this The Worst Commentary Team of All-Time?

Sep 15, 2014 - 9:47:20 AM
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By Shawn Valentino, PWTorch specialist

When I was growing up, not only was there no WWE Network with unlimited content of major match-ups, there were rarely any competitive matches on "Superstars of Wrestling" and "Wrestling Challenge" on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

WWF television programs were a showcase for wrestlers to get over their characters, entrances, and finishing moves. What made these non-competitive matches entertaining was the commentary. The banter between Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura or Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan was probably the most entertaining element on the show. It was great because there was a natural chemistry between the announcing teams, and each commentator had a clearly defined role.

McMahon and Monsoon, for their flaws, had a constitution to their characters and they stood for the good guys, thereby getting the faces over with the fans. In contrast, Ventura and Heenan used a warped sense of logic to rationalize why the bad guys were right. This is the complete opposite of the embarrassing non-sense we suffer through every week between what I believe is the worst commentary team of all time.

When Rusev was singing the Russian Anthem last Monday on Raw, there was a point where Jerry Lawler sat down on the ground like a complete goof. I wanted to do the opposite and stand up and leave the room because it was so painful to watch. If I had friends in the room at the time, they probably would question why they hang out with me.

The commentary team is supposed to be the voice of the company. It is also supposed to function as the sales people to the fans, and it plays a vital role in forming the characters and developing the stories on our television. Instead, WWE features a group of dorks with no constitution and inconsistent roles clowning around and severely hampering the product.

I have said for years that Jerry Lawler should be taken out of the announcing booth. Lawler rarely says anything insightful, his sense of humor is using jokes from a dated jokebook, and he contributed to making the action seem like a complete joke. Looking back and watching these Attitude Era Raw episodes, listening to Lawler incessantly make dimwitted comments with no context nearly makes the shows unwatchable. He should be moved to a more suitable role like manager or part-time, on-air authority figure.

Cole has had the tough task of following Jim Ross, but I do not feel that those were impossible shoes to fill. Monsoon was a beloved commentator and Vince was well-liked, but there was not a backlash against Ross, who was the next major voice of the show. Cole is competent at best, but he is too big of a dweeb to be the voice of the company. It is hard to take him seriously as a passionate wrestling fan, and his presence is so nerdy that it makes the entire program look lame. He is not the person to hard sell a match or get over a character. In fact, he serves the opposite role by making whatever he endorses appear to be uncool. He should be taken off Raw and kept on NXT or Smackdown because he will never be accepted as the voice of the fans.

In contrast to Lawler and Cole, JBL was a tremendous commentator, and he has some of the qualities that made Ventura and Heenan so great. When he was on his original run on Smackdown, he did a brilliant job playing the intelligent heel commentator telling the story from a bad guy’s perspective with historical insight. There were times when it was worth watching the show for him alone. Additionally, he brought out the best in Cole because he was a great heel color commentator to play off. I have to blame Vince’s production on his downfall because Layfield knows how to be an effective voice.

WWE is in a key transition period where their entire business model is changing, and a set of authoritative, respected voices conveying the product to the audience is more important than ever. Instead, WWE features a triumvirate of tools that make the few hours of programming on cable nearly unbearable to watch. How is it possible that fans would want to order the Network when the buffoons on commentary do not care enough to take the free show seriously?

It would benefit McMahon to spend the $9.99 and go back to some of his older shows, hear how effective the commentary team was, and understand how important it is to the product. Then he should take Lawler and Cole off air and give JBL a strong play-by-play announcer to bring out his proven attributes. Anything would be better than what they have now because I believe this is the era of the worst commentary team in WWF/E history.

Please send questions, comments, and feedback to shawnvalentino@gmail.com and check out my book, "The Showstopper Lifestyle," on Amazon. Feel free to add Shawn Valentino on Facebook.


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