By David Miller, Torch Team Contributor

NWA-TNA LXXIII
Live From The TNA Asylum
Nashville, Tennessee
November 26, 2003

TNA delivered last week with an above average show that looked lousy on paper. Tonight�s lineup looks no better, but you can never tell with this company. I know one thing, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. WWE seriously dropped the ball when they let their traditional Thanksgiving PPV, Survivor Series, go by without a single turkey used as a foreign object. TNA needs to pick up that ball and run with it. If I don�t see someone get a turkey busted over their head tonight, I�m gonna be highly irritated. It�d be kind of nice to see Don West get a pumpkin pie smooshed in his face too, but I won�t press my luck. On with the show!

As usual, a video recap of last week was shown. You know, I really don�t see the point in these five-minute recaps since everyone can now see the pre-show before the PPV.

Scott Hudson was outside the Asylum with Jimmy Hart (go figure). Hart was holding leather straps and was surrounded by fans. Dusty Rhodes joined him as they put over the lumberjack strap match for tonight.

The wrestling statue rotated and exploded into the TNA logo as Mike Tenay and Don West introduced us to the show.

Jeff Jarrett came to the ring with his entourage of Don �Butt-Head� Callis and red shirt security. He proceeded to cut a hilarious promo, insulting everyone from Hulk Hogan to Sarah Lee, the ticket lady. He really was in rare form tonight. Erik Watts came out and tried to be funny, but just came across sounding stupid. Abyss attacked Watts from behind and threw him into the ring for a beatdown, but Raven, A.J. Styles, and America�s Most Wanted came out to clear the ring.

Scott Hudson was in the back with Simon Diamond, Johnny Swinger, Glenn Gilberti, and David Young. They cut their usual brilliantly funny promo, but hinted that they weren�t really happy with Gilberti and Young. Diamond and Swinger are just great on the stick.

(1) Kid Kash pinned Low-Ki at 9:25. Christopher Daniels sat with Tenay and West during this one, which pretty much gave away the fact that he would cost Low-Ki the match. Fortunately, the two wrestlers had ample time to put on a great show. Ki was as stiff as ever, and literally chopped Kash until his chest turned purple. They kept a great pace and delivered a whale of an opening match. A brief altercation between Low-Ki and Daniels led to Kash rolling Ki up for the pin. After the match, Don Harris came out and Kid Kash ran away from him the same as he did last week.

In the back with Scott Hudson, Callis cut a promo on Shark Boy and the red shirts cut a promo on Raven.

(2) Abyss (w/Don Callis) beat Shark Boy at 3:28. Shark Boy gave it the ol� college try, but quickly succumbed to the black hole slam. After the bell, Abyss put Sharkie through a table. �Nuff said.

Raven sat around some candles and told Scott Hudson that he would take care of Kevin Northcutt and Legend just like he did Ryan Wilson, Father James Mitchell, Vampiro, Slash, and Sinn. The Gathering interrupted and wanted to talk to him, but Raven said the talking is over. Hudson asked Dinero and Punk what their relationship with Raven was, and they said they would make that clear later on. Hmm, do I smell a heel turn?

A brief video of X was shown, highlighting that scary-looking package piledriver of his.

(3) Chris Sabin defeated X at 6:20. Okay action up until the end, which was amazing. X had Sabin laid out on the ramp before climbing to the top turnbuckle. The big, crazy lug decided to do a senton bomb off the top rope to the ramp, but Sabin moved and X landed flat on his back with a very loud thud. One of the damndest things I�ve ever seen from a guy his size. I had to take a couple of aspirin after just watching it. Sabin rolled X into the ring for the relatively easy pin.

Jimmy Hart was in the crowd picking fans to be lumberjacks for tonight�s main event.

A video was shown depicting the saga of Raven�s relationship with his Gathering and his feud with the red shirts.

(4) Raven vs. Legend & Kevin Northcutt in a gauntlet handicap match was declared a no-contest at 6:51. Legend was the first one in the ring with Raven. He threw a few bad punches and kicks, but Raven soon rallied to hit the evenflow DDT for the pin. Northcutt immediately jumped in the ring and began hammering on the man who put The New Church out of wrestling. As Raven began to get the upper hand, Legend jumped in for a double team. Abyss ran out also, and the referee threw the match out. I don�t have a clue why he declared it a no-contest instead of a disqualification. Julio Dinero and C.M. Punk, who had been watching the match from the ramp, ran to the ring and saved their hero. I was expecting a heel turn here, but I guess they�re saving it for a later date.

Jimmy Hart had his fans lined up and ready to strap Jeff Jarrett.

A video was shown of the history of Michael Shane�s X-Division Invitational.

(5) Michael Shane pinned Sonjay Dutt at 6:22 to retain the X-Division title. Tenay all but ignored the opening minutes of this match, instead opting to discuss the fact that the red shirts and Abyss have challenged Raven and his Gathering. The crowd didn�t seem too terribly interested in this match either. Shane Douglas and Tracy came down to ringside and began cheering for Dutt, which of course means that they will �turn� on him later in the match. Dutt hit his incredible Hindu Press and (surprise, surprise) Tracy broke up his pin attempt. While Dutt was distracted by Tracy, Shane wrapped a chain around his fist, nailed him, and got the easy pin. Douglas then announced Michael Shane as the newest addition to his franchise. I don�t believe it! It was a setup all along! What a swerve!! Yeesh, how lame. Is there a wrestling fan out there that didn�t see this coming at least a month ago?

Dusty Rhodes and A.J. Styles cut a promo on Jeff Jarrett. Nothing spectacular.

A video of the current tag title situation was shown. Diamond, Swinger, Gilberti, and Young are extremely funny.

(6) 3 Live Kru beat Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger & Glenn Gilberti at 8:58 to capture the held-up NWA tag team championship. I don�t really have a problem with the tag titles being determined this way because 3LK is a three-man team. It was done plenty of times years ago with The Fabulous Freebirds, so I can buy this. America�s Most Wanted joined Tenay and West for this match. Some decent action here. Lots of miscommunication between the former champs and Gilberti. David Young smacked Ron Killings with a tennis racket, but James Storm and Chris Harris took matters into their own hands and broke up the pin attempt that followed. Gilberti tried to use a chair, but Storm superkicked it into his face. Of course, the referee saw none of this. Killings hit his sitdown front suplex on Swinger for the victory. AMW grabbed the belts and presented them to 3LK. Passable match.

Roddy Piper was shown punching a dummy and comparing himself to the late, great Johnny Cash, saying he stood for the downtrodden. Okay Hot Rod, whatever.

Don West shilled some TNA merchandise, including a Babes of TNA calendar. I gotta get that one.

Scott Hudson was in the back with Raven, who agreed to team with Dinero and Punk for one night only to take on the red shirts and Abyss next week. Should be interesting.

(7) Jeff Jarrett vs. Dusty Rhodes in a lumberjack strap match was declared a no-contest at 6:17. Jimmy Hart and his nine handpicked fans were toting leather straps and they put them to good use on Jarrett. Every time Jarrett so much as poked his head through the ropes, the lumberjacks went to town on him. As expected, not much in the way of wrestling here. The finish was a complete train wreck as Callis, Hart, Watts, Northcutt, Legend, and Styles all got involved. Really pointless.

Random Thoughts: Dammit, I wanted to see a turkey busted over someone�s head tonight. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, what�s wrong with these people?.....After all the years he�s been in wrestling, you�d think Shane Douglas would be able to cut a decent promo.....I was glad to see TNA finally let Sonjay Dutt cut a promo, he�s already better than Douglas.....I�m still hurting from that insane bump that X took.....It was nice to see TNA acknowledge the passing of former NWA champ Dick Hutton.

Final Analysis: Remember how John Cena came out for his Survivor Series match and said that the PPV was ass-backwards? Same applies for TNA�s show tonight. The curtain jerker was easily the best match of the night. Everything just sort of went downhill from there. Douglas� new addition to the franchise could be seen a mile away and the X title match itself didn�t live up to expectations. The tag title match was just kind of there. The main event was a joke. TNA just phoned this PPV in tonight. Way below average. Save your money, this isn�t the replay to catch.

Feedback is encouraged at dmiller705@aol.com or the Torch VIP Forum.

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