WWE Main Event Results
March 27, 2013
Taped 3/26 in Hershey, Pa.
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor

This week's Main Event opened with Kane's pyro shooting off to bring out WWE tag champions Kane and Daniel Bryan, who encouraged Kane on the way to the ring. As opposed to berating him. Michael Cole and The Miz introduced the show on commentary as Bryan joined them at the announce position. U.S. champion Antonio Cesaro was then introduced as Bryan said he's looking forward to Kane destroying Cesaro.

On-stage, Cesaro paused to inform the audience that he will show everyone why Switzerland is better than America. Cesaro cleared his threat, then began yodeling, which drew a quizzical look from Kane. Cesaro yodeled all the way to the ring, drawing strange crowd noises.

1 -- U.S. champion ANTONIO CESARO vs. WWE tag champion KANE (w/Daniel Bryan)

As the match started, the announce trio debated Cesaro's yodeling business. Cole then tried to get serious about WrestleMania. The two men went back and forth as Bryan denied any previous argument issues with Kane, which came across like Bryan setting up to snap on Kane again after being in denial.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break at 7:00, Cesaro was in control following a flying European uppercut. Cesaro continued yodeling mid-match, which came across like one of Vince McMahon's crazy ideas to add to Cesaro's "repertoire." Cole nerded away by rattling off some yodeling factoids before Kane regained control. Kane tried a top-rope move, but Cesaro intercepted with a mid-air European uppercut for a nearfall. This sent Main Event to another break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break at 13:20, Cesaro was yodeling while working on a rear chinlock. Kane then silenced him with a DDT. Kane wanted to finish things off with a chokeslam, but A.J.'s music played to bring out A.J. skipping around ringside. As the 2012 flashback unfolded, Bryan got up from his commentary position to yell, "No!" over and over in A.J.'s face.

Back in the ring, Cesaro tried to hit the Neutralizer on a distracted Kane, but Kane escaped, then chokeslammed Cesaro. Kane pinned Cesaro for the win, drawing a wry smile from A.J. about nearly costing Kane the match. After the match, Bryan joined Kane in the ring shouting at A.J., who disappeared to the back. Cole then plugged the Tag Title match of Kane & Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E. Langston, with A.J., at WrestleMania.

WINNER: Kane at 17:20.

Raw Flashback: Two weeks ago, Jack Swagger tried to break Ricardo Rodriguez's ankle. Then, two nights ago on Raw, Swagger re-injured Ricardo. In 11 nights, it's Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger for the World Title.

Up Next: Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar preview.

[Commercial Break]

This Friday: The Rock returns to Smackdown.

Announcers: Cole and Miz were shown on-commentary resetting the show before Cole fed to a video package on the Hunter-Lesnar feud leading to their WrestleMania match. After the video aired, Cole and Miz set up for Miz's big announcement of facing Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental Title at WrestleMania. Cole then plugged The Shield vs. Team Sheamus at Mania.

Backstage: Matt Striker brought in Sheamus for a chat. They discussed Sheamus being hesitant to accept Big Show as a tag partner last week on Main Event. Sheamus said he was being selfish, and even though he doesn't think Show will be turning over a new leaf any time soon, he needs Show to help give Shield the fight of their lives.

In-ring: Cameron and Naomi came out on-stage to introduce the newly-named "Tons of Funk," Brodus Clay and Tensai. Cole said it's time to get funky on Main Event as all four made their way into the ring. After a full dance intro, pyro shot off. Cole said Cameron and Naomi are in action next against the Bellas.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow came out on-stage back from break. Rhodes shook his ear to make sure he understood correctly that their opponents are now called Tons of Funk. Sandow said they sure have tons of something...saturated fat. Sandow and Cody shared a hearty, scholarly laugh, then Sandow introduced the Bella Twins for tag action. As they made their way to the ring, Cole announced a mixed eight-person tag match for WrestleMania.

2 -- CAMERON & NAOMI (w/Tons of Funk) vs. THE BELLA TWINS (w/Rhodes Scholars)

Back-and-forth throughout building to a hot-tag to the more seasoned Naomi. But, the Bellas used their traditional distraction tactics to secure a roll-up victory and put an end to the match. The heels celebrated on the outside as Cameron & Naomi solid dejection inside the ring.

WINNERS: Bellas at 4:01.

After the match, Cole and Miz promised a look at Rock-Cena from Raw. On the way to break, WWE re-aired the great Undertaker vs. C.M. Punk video package that debuted on Raw.

[Commercial Break]

Raw Replay: Main Event cut to real-time footage from the end of the Cena-Rock Q&A Panel, finishing with Rock ending Cena's night with Rock Bottom. Main Event signed off like Raw did with back-and-forth shots of Rock and Cena reacting to Rock standing tall on this night and Cena looking somewhat dejected, embarrassed, and constipated.

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