WWE Superstars Results
May 3, 2012
Taped 4/30 & 5/1
Report by Justin James, PWTorch contributor

1 - MASON RYAN vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER

If Ziggler doesn't win in under five minutes, I riot...

Matt Striker and Scott Stanford are in the booth, one of my favorite pairs. The bell rings and Ziggler immediately hits a dropkick and takes it to Ryan. Ryan comes back with a big press to a drop, and Ziggler rolls out of the ring. Ryan now has a ponytail, so he looks like a muscled-up Steven Seagal. Ryan tosses Ziggler into the ring, and Striker suggests that Ryan needs a manager. Will this lead to him joining AW's stable?

Ziggler hits Ryan's knees and gets some offense in. Striker compares Ryan to Ken Patera - that's laughable - and asks if anyone's physique compares to him. Umm, Chris Masters? Ziggler is trying to rip Ryan's head off with a cravat of sorts, using a bridge for extra leverage. Ryan makes a comeback for a moment, but Ziggler takes it to him and moves to a side chinlock on the mat. Ryan then stands up and throws Ziggler off him. Ryan gets a head of steam with the "Ryan Express," as Striker terms it, but Ziggler dodges a charge and hits the Zig-Zag for the win. Post-match, Striker reiterated Ryan's need for a manager.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler at 5:10. That's the precise, bell-to-bell time, so I guess it's time to have a riot of one. Well, at least the booking was right, and Mason Ryan should definitely be in the Ezekiel Jackson category of "useful to give someone a win over a visually-impressive big-man" at his current skill level.

Replay of the very effective video recapping the Cena-Lesnar match from Extreme Rules.

2 - ZACK RYDER vs. MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY

Ryder makes the "call me" sign at McGillicutty. McGillcutty with a Swagger-like takedown to start the match. The crowd is hot for Ryder, who fights out of the corner and takes over the match for a hot moment. McGillicutty kicks Ryder's legs out and starts to work over Ryder with power. Ryder flapjacks McGillicutty, then clotheslines him out of the ring. Ryder with a slingshot plancha and rolls McGillicutty back in. McGillicutty ambushes him on the way in.

[ c - WWE Magazine ]

Ryder is struggling to get traction out of the break. Ryder eventually gets some sustained offense, with his traditional comeback, and a Broski Boot gets a nearfall. McGillicutty counters the Rough Ryder and sends Ryder into the turnbuckle. Ryder bounces out of the corner a few moments later to land the Rough Ryder for the win.

WINNER: Zack Ryder in 7:00. Decent match. Ryder is consistently "decent" and McGillicutty has been improving by leaps and bounds.

Raw Rebound.

3 - GREAT KHALI vs. JINDER MAHAL

This is becoming the default Superstars match lately, like when Cryme Tyme fought the Hart Dynasty literally every week for months. The only difference is Tyson Kidd isn't in the ring and even Natalya couldn't distract me from Khali's poor wrestling.

Mahal makes the mistake of locking up with Khali, just like every other time I see them against each other. Mahal tries strikes, but eats a chop to the head. Khali sends him to the corner for the frying pan chop crowd-pleaser. Another corner, another chop. Khali sends Mahal over the ropes. Mahal hot-shots Khali on the ropes, then goes to work with kicks and knees using the ropes for leverage.

Mahal ducks a big boot in the corner and goes back to offense. Mahal starts to work Khali's knees - I don't know why when they've already been Tonya Harding'ed judging by the way Khali walks. Mahal to the middle rope, but gets caught on the way down. Khali starts an offensive barrage. Matt Striker: "Khali's lack of mobility is not a hindrance here, as Mahal keeps running into the Great Khali," just as Mahal runs into Khali multiple times to eat forearms. He eventually runs in again, only to be caught with the Punjabi Plunge. Three count and it's over.

WINNER: The Great Khali in 4:45. It is nearly impossible for me to watch a Khali match and not be snarky and sarcastic. He puts me in a foul mood. I've seen this match too many times in the last few months, and it never gets better. Ted DiBiase, please get better and feud with Jinder Mahal again. Or, Trent Baretta. Anyone.

Video package summarizes John Cena's promo to close Raw and the attack from Lord Tensai and Laurinaitis.

End show.

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