By Pat McNeill, PWTorch Columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors, it's time for our exclusive WWE Network not-on-pay-per-view projections!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are based on what the columnist would do if he were booking this event, instead of Paul "NXT" Levesque, Runjin Singh, Ed Koskey and WWE President Bats--- Crazy Vincent Kennedy Gagne. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything's made up and the points don't matter. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive Moisture Drops. Bring the sparkle back to your dry, irritated eyes. Quench them with the relief your eyes are thirsting for, with Bausch & Lomb's Moisture Drops. Pat McNeill's wardrobe provided by Mr. Guy of Beverly Hills, Inc. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. These predictions are based on what the columnist would do if he had creative control over WWE, unless it interferes with a joke or a running gag.

Let's see if I understand this correctly. WWE's television ratings have been in a steady decline since the promotion bought World Championship Wrestling in 2001. But Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunnb are so adamantly opposed to changing the WWE television product that the two men end up running off anyone who has suggestions on ways to improve the promotion. So, the richest wrestling promotion in the world is run by a man who thinks a shining wizard is something you ask for at a massage parlor. Got it.

Meanwhile, the rest of the WWE braintrust realized that Ring of Honor is now the number two wrestling promotion in North America. This is a problem, because RoH has serious financial backing in the form of Sinclair Broadcasting. It's also a problem because Ring of Honor has a show scheduled for Brooklyn the night before SummerSlam takes place in Brooklyn. That's why WWE has put a huge effort into running an NXT show at the Barclay Center in Brooklyn on the same night as Field of Honor. The NXT show is selling a lot of tickets, but it leads to a question. What happens when NXT puts on a better and hotter show than SummerSlam, in the same building on the same weekend?

We have a month to come up with those answers. Before we preview Sunday night's show, let's get to this month's edition of the Wrestling History Lesson, because that's why many of you clicked here in the first place. Twenty years ago, on the July 17, 2015 episode of WWF Monday Night Raw (pretaped) from Danville, Pennsylvania, our main event saw "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels against Irwin Rotunda Schyster in the final Raw match of Schyster's career. Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler had the call.



What was happening in World Wrestling Entertainment fifteen years ago? I'm glad you asked! On July 17, 2000, the World Wrestling Federation presented a live episode of Raw from Albany, New York. On that night, we had a big tag team main event. Kane & The Undertaker teamed up against reluctant allies Kurt Angle & Triple H. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler had the call.



Did you catch this week's episode of WWE Smackdown? Watch it now (sort of). Your main event is Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose against Sheamus & Big Show. Tom Phillips, Jimmy Uso & Jerry Lawler have the call. (If you want to see it, hurry, because WWE will have it down in about fifteen minutes. Or less.)



Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and John B. Layfield will be announcing the show, while Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton handle important backstage duties. On with the program!

My guess is we'll have a couple of unannounced matches on this show, something along the lines of Paige Knight defeating Tamina Snuka and maybe The Ascension upsetting The Lucha Dragons.

R-Truth vs. King Wade Barrett: This is the match WWE is giving away for free on the Kickoff Show, by the way. Like they did last month at Money At The Bank. Again. Some more. Projection? Bad News scores the victory with the Bullhammer. As a consolation prize, R-Truth actually gets a full-scale entrance and the chance to rap for a verse or two before the match.

Primetime Players (Darren Young & Titus O'Neil) vs. The New Day (Big E. Langston & Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston)- WWE World Tag Team Titles: As good as The New Day is, I'd want to have the tag team champions holding the straps a little longer than seven weeks. Projection? Xavier Woods gets caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and falls victim to the Players' version of the old Demolition finishing move. The champs retain, and it's back to the drawing board for The New Day.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus: This will be the twelfth time Randy Orton and Sheamus has opposed each other on pay-per-view (when you include four-way matches, six-way matches, Elimination Chambers, Survivor Series team elimination matches and Money In The Bank ladder matches). Of the twelve meetings, clearly this is the one WWE fans care about least. Projection? Sheamus has the briefcase. Sheamus winds up beating Orton with the Brogue Kick. Both wrestlers immediately go on to feud with other people. I can't stress that last part enough. Randy Orton feuding with Bray Wyatt? Sounds awesome. Sheamus feuding with WWE Staff Infectioncontinental Champion Ryback? Can't wait.

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt: It's another month where we watch Roman Reigns move farther and farther away from becoming WWE Heavyweight Champion. I'm just saying. Bray Wyatt's character is meaningless, and has been for several months now. Projection? Spear, superman punch and we all get the hell away from any storylines where Bray Wyatt talks about going after Roman's family.

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens (WWE United States Title): The third and possibly final meeting between John Cena and Kevin Owens takes place here in St. Louis. This time is different, because Cena's United States title is on the line. Projection? We tweak the finish Cena and Owens are using at house shows. Owens is in trouble, he kicks Cena in the balls out of desperation, and the referee misses it. Ownes walks away with the United States Title. I'm not expecting K.O. to have a long reign as U.S. Champion, but he needs this win.

Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar (WWE World Heavyweight Title): Many of you have heard by now that Undertaker and Sting are slated to be a part of SummerSlam. There are a couple of theories as to how WWE could pull a hotshot finish here to set up next month's big show in Brooklyn.

1) The Undertaker makes a surprise return at Battleground and costs Lesnar the match, setting up Undertaker vs. Lesnar for SummerSlam. Meanwhile, Sting seeks revenge against Triple H and The Authority by calling out Seth Rollins for Brooklyn.

2) Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose turn heel and reform the Shield with Seth Rollns. This leads to Lesnar calling on some people from the Attitude Era, and we end up with Lesnar, The Undertaker & Sting taking on Rollins, Reigns & Ambrose in the SummerSlam main event.

No. I'm not crazy about either of those ideas. Here's how I roll. Projection? Rollins is without his normal crew, so he pays off members of the undercard to run interference for him. Lesnar has Rollins in trouble when Heath Slater charges the ring. Lesnar grabs The One Man Band and gives the man an F5. Adam Rose runs in next to save Rollins. Again, F5. Then we get Luke Harper and Big Show and The Miz and The Ascension and that's enough to force referee John Cone to call for the bell. Lesnar wins by disqualification. Lesnar's in real trouble until Sting makes a surprise save and helps Brock clean house. Rollins powders, leaving everyone else to take the beating. Sheamus pokes his head out from backstage, surveys the scene, and decides this isn't the best time to cash in the Money In The Bank briefcase. There is much booing and hatred for the non-finish, but maybe the presence of Sting can make up for that.

Aftermath: We're going to Brooklyn for NXT Takeover and for SummerSlam. For Takeover, we have Balor vs. Owens. For SummerSlam, it'll be Rollins vs. Lesnar inside a steel cage, with Sting as the special guest enforcing referee. Don't miss it.

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Pat McNeill has been a PWTorch Columnist since 2001. He lives in Greenville, South Carolina. He'd take the Los Angeles Angels over the Boston Red Sox on Sunday Night Baseball. You know, if gambling were legal.

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