By Pat McNeill, PWTorch Columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors, it's time for our exclusive WWE Network not-on-pay-per-view projections!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are based on what the columnist would do if he were booking this event, instead of Paul "Performance Center" Levesque, Runjin Singh and WWE President Bats--- Crazy Vince McMahon. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything's made up and the points don't matter. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Contestants not appearing on stage will receive a selection of Mohawk Carpeting. A hundred years of carpet craftsmanship. The Mohawk gallery of shimmering, soft and sensuous carpets is now at your color dealer. Pat McNeill's wardrobe provided by Petrocelli. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. These predictions are based on what the columnist would do if he had creative control over WWE, except for where he sends Triple H and Stephanie back on the road to continue their philanthropic efforts.

Believe it or not, tonight's instant WWE supercard is actually airing on pay-per-view in much of the world. If you're lucky enough to have WWE Network, the show is free as part of your subscription.

If you're WWE Network, and your goal is to get the new subscribers to pony up for the month of June on WWE Network, what would be the best way to book tonight's show? You can look at the Raw ratings, which indicate the Dean Ambrose-Seth Rollins battle is one of the few draws for television viewers. Or, you can look at the McNeill Livecast Poll from Wednesday, which show that fans are most interested in the John Cena vs. Kevin Owens matchup. Then, compare that to the WWE Network's daily tracking of most viewed programs, which show that NXT and Kevin Owens have the most views among Network subscribers. The people who subscribe to WWE Network and the causal fans are in different quadrants of the WWE Universe.

Before we preview tonight's show, let's get to this month's edition of the Wrestling History Lesson, because that's why many of you clicked here in the first place. Twenty years ago, on May 22nd, 1995, the World Wrestling Federation presented Monday Night Raw (pretaped) from Binghamton, New York. Your main event that night was a qualifying match for the 1995 King of the Ring tournament, as Shawn Michaels faced King Kong Bundy. Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler had the call.



What was happening in World Wrestling Entertainment fifteen years ago? I'm glad you asked! On June 1, 2000, the company presented a fresh episode of WWF Smackdown from Tacoma, Washington. Things were completely different back then, as that week's storyline was built around the big red machine, Kane, standing up to authority figures Triple H and Stephanie McMahon...Er, forget I said anything. We kicked things off that night with Too Cool defending the WWF Tag Team Titles against Matt Hardy & Jeff Hardy. Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler had the call.



Did you catch this week's episode of WWE Main Event? What do you mean "Of course not?" Watch it now (sort of). Your main event is Adrian Neville against Adam Rose. No, really. Rich Brennan and John Layfield have the call. (If you want to see it, hurry, because WWE will have it down in about fifteen minutes. Or less.)



Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and John B. Layfield will be announcing the show, which means Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton and Booker T can help Renee Young with the kickoff show. On with the program!

My guess is we'll need an actual preshow match. If that happens, I'd have Luke Harper & Erick Rowan defeating Curtis Axel & Damien Sandow.

The Miz interviews Daniel Bryan: I'd have Daniel Bryan kick Miz in the head here. No matter what happens beforehand, a good boot to the head should make up for it.

The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods) vs. Tyson Kidd & Antonio Cesaro (w/ Natalya Kidd) vs. Los Matadores (Fernando & Diego w/ El Torito) vs. Primetime Players (Darren Young & Titus O'Neil) vs. Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto) vs. The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) - (WWE World Tag Team Titles - Elimination Chamber): For the first time in a long, long, time, we are due to have a WWE Tag Team Title match break the twenty minute barrier on pay-per-view. This will truly be a show to remember.Projection? The Ascension eliminates Los Matadores, Primetime Players eliminate The Ascension, Lucha Dragons eliminate Primetime Players, Kid & Cesaro eliminate the Lucha Dragons, and The New Day drops Cesaro & Kidd to keep the championships.

Adrian Neville vs. Bo Dallas: WWE wants to continue Neville's winning streak, but there's no point in having Gravity's Enemy beat one of the upper midcarders who carry Raw and Smackdown. That's where Bo Dallas comes in. Projection? Bo delivers a quality prematch promo, Neville wins with the Red Arrow. Keep it simple.

Nikki Bella vs. Paige Knight vs. Naomi Fatu (WWE Divas Title - Triple Threat Match): I like the dynamic here. If Naomi wins, you could have Paige and Nikki, two fan favorites who hate each other, chasing Ms. Uso for the championship. But this is WWE. They could change the Divas title any time, without waiting for a pay-per-view. Projection? Nikki manages to get Naomi with the Rack Attack while Paige and Brie are brawling with Tamina. Nikki's epic championship reign continues.

Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Ryback vs. Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett vs. Mystery Opponent (WWE Intercontinental Title - Elimination Chamber): My money is on Stardust for the sixth and final participant in this match. You'll see why in a second. Projection? Ziggler and Cody start. Sheamus is in third to make it two on one, and Sheamus eliminates Stardust with White Noise. R-Truth is in next, then Barrett, then Ryback. Barrett eliminates R-Truth with the Bull Hammer. Ryback eliminates Barrett Sheamus with the Meathook. The lights go out. When the lights come back on, Bray Wyatt, Harper and Rowan are inside the chamber, beating the crap out of Ryback. The Wyatt Family leaves. Barrett finishes Ryback with Wasteland. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and becomes Intercontinental Champion again.

Out of that match, we get the continuation of the Ryback vs. Bray Wyatt rivalry (with Ryback having to get help from his babyface co-stars for six man tags) and Ziggler feuding over Barrett for the Intercontinental Title. Ziggler can have Lana in his corner, while Barrett can add the lovely Layla El to his act. Those are perfectly acceptable wrestling feuds as we head into the summer.

John Cena vs.Kevin Owens (non-title): John Cena is WWE's biggest star, but he needs fresh acts to play off of. With Sami Zayn on the sidelines, Kevin Owens has some free time on his hands. There's no reason we can't have Hustle Loyalty Respect vs. Fight Owens Fight carry us through July. But that means we can't have a clear winner our first time out. Projection? We get a nice walk and brawl. Cena can do that well, and it's Kevin Owens' specialty. Give us about twelve minutes with the two big men fighting all around ringside and breaking furniture. Owens hits Cena with the timekeeper's bell or something. Cena wins by disqualification, and we get into a big pullapart, with the Texas Rangers and Chuck Norris coming out to separate the two champions. With Rusev on the bench, this feud must continue.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose (WWE World Heavyweight Title): It's Rollins defending the WWE title against a credible contender, which means we're due for a ton of shenanigans. Projection? Noble & Mercury come to ringside with Rollins. After a few minutes, Roman Reigns comes down to help Ambrose. Reigns is able to counter the tomfoolery of Noble and Mercury. Kane comes down and evens things up, and brawls to the back with Reigns. And then, we get WWE's all time favorite pay-per-view finish, and Big Show comes up from under the ring and knocks out Ambrose with the big punch. Rollins retains.

Yes, I know it would be fun to see Dean Ambrose with the WWE Title, even if it's just a two-week reign. But Brock Lesnar will be back in four to six weeks, and we're trying to tell a bigger story. Plus, WWE is going to have better Raw ratings this week even without some hotshot storylines. There aren't any basketball playoffs this Monday night, and I don't think Jamie Garcia on the mound for the Cardinals against Milwaukee will draw the same rating LeBron James.

Aftermath: We get Money In The Bank in two weeks (Two Weeks?!) with Seth Rollins defending the WWE Title against Kane, plus John Cena, Kevin Owens, Neville, Sheamus, Roman Reigns, Randy Orton, Big Show & Dean Ambrose in the Money In the Bank ladder match.

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Pat McNeill has been a PWTorch Columnist since 2001. He lives in Greenville, South Carolina. He'd take the L.A. Angels over Detroit in tonight's baseball game. You know, if gambling were legal.

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