By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors, it's time for our exclusive WWE pay-per-view projections!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are based on what the columnist would do if he were booking this event, instead of Paul "NXT Fanservice" Levesque, Runjin Singh and WWE President Charles Foster Kane. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything's made up and the points don't matter. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive a supply of Schick Super II razor blades, the only twin blades with a Teflon coating, to get your face into Schick Shape. Pat McNeill's wardrobe provided by Rick Pallack. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. These predictions are based on what the columnist would do if he had creative control over WWE, except for where he adds two dozen wrestlers to the active WWE roster. It's a little thin.

We've all heard that WWE champion Brock Lesnar may be signing on for another year with World Wrestling Entertainment. As you've guessed, this means WWE has another option for the main event of WrestleMania 31. Lesnar can retain the title in Santa Clara, and continue his championship reign until WrestleMania 32. Of course, if Lesnar's going to be holding the belt for twelve more months, WWE should go ahead and lock Brock up for at least eight matches. We shouldn't have to go 120 days between title defenses again.

With Bryan, Lesnar and Seth Rollins in the mix, you'd think WWE would be able to get Roman Reigns over as a top star, even if he isn't *the* top star. You'd think so. We'll see if it comes to fruition.

Before we get down to business, let's get to this month's edition of the Wrestling History Lesson, because that's why many of you clicked here in the first place. Twenty years ago, on February 20, 1995, the World Wrestling Federation presented WWF Monday Night Raw live at the Coliseum in Macon, Georgia. The main event saw a big champion versus champion match as Kevin "Diesel" Nash battled "Double J" Jeff Jarrett. Vince McMahon and Jim Cornette had the call.





What was happening in World Wrestling Entertainment fifteen years ago? I'm glad you asked! On January 27, 2000, the World Wrestling Federation held its annual "No Way Out" pay-per-view in Hartford, Connecticut. The evening opened up with a match for the WWF Intercontinental Title, as Chris Jericho defended his championship against former Olympian Kurt Angle. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler had the call.


WWF No Way Out 2000 - Part 1 by MrPXW11556

Did you catch WWE NXT? No? Watch it now. The opening match features former ECW World Champion Rhyno (yes, Rhyno) against Elias Samson. Rich Brennan, Jason Albert & Corey Graves have the call. (If you want to see it, hurry, because WWE will have it down in about fifteen minutes. Or less.)



Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and John B. Layfield will be announcing the show, while Booker T does the preshow and predicts the evening's Shucky Ducky Quack Quack moment. On with the program!

On The Preshow: Paul Heyman appears on Miz TV and gets to be entertaining for six to seven minutes. And Miz gets to disrespect Damian Mizdow. And the columnist gets to fast forward through 50 minutes of an hour long preshow. Everybody wins.

Goldust vs. Stardust: This feud actually makes sense. We've all been watching Cody Rhodes' character sink farther into insanity each month, to the point where he's a total whack job. Compared to Cody, Dustin's Goldust character seems normal. Projection? Stardust takes his beating, then manages to kick Goldust right in the yambag when the referee isn't looking. The Bizarre One loses to the Even More Bizarre One.

Dolph Ziggler, Ryback & Erick Rowan vs. Seth Rollins, Kane & Big Show (WWE Trios Action): Now that I think about it, "WWE Trios" would be a good idea for a weekly show. Wouldn't you watch that instead of WWE Superstars? (Fandango's vote doesn't count here.) Projection? This match almost had to be on "Fastlane." For one thing, it doesn't pay to leave Ziggler and Rollins off a pay-per-view in 2015. The match ends in a wild melee. Dolph catches Kane with the Zig Zag and scores the fall.

The Usos vs. Cesaro & Kidd (WWE Tag Team Titles):Don't get me wrong. Jimmy and Jey are a tremendous tag team, and I enjoy watching them, but they don't quite measure up to the weird synergy among Cesaro and the Kidd Family. The only thing missing from the Brass Ring Trio are their matching friendship bracelet. (Yes, Mrs. McNeill is rewatching "Friends," but the joke still works.) Projection? Natalya provides a distraction and Cesaro knocks out Jey with an uppercut. What sort of distraction? Doesn't matter. For now, let's say that Jim Neidhart hops out of the crowd and runs around ringside with his shirt off.

Nikki Bella vs. Paige Knight (WWE Divas Title): Originally, it looked like WWE would drag the Paige-Nikki feud out until WrestleMania. But, if it's me, I'm going to book the Bellas against Paige & Charlotte in a tag match for Levi's Stadium. Or, they'll do some sort of Divas battle royal to get all the ladies on the card. Either way, it's time for a change. Projection? Brie tries to interfere, but gets hit with the Ram-Paige, and then Paige makes Nikki tap out to the PTO.

Wade "Bad News" Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose (WWE Intercontinental Title): It's great that these two top WWE wrestlers are fighting over the chance to host Raw Weekend Update, but maybe we should see how well they perform in the ring, Projection? The Unstable Guy has Barrett in trouble before Wade hits a Bull Hammer out of nowhere to nab the victory and keep his title.

Alexander Rusev vs. John Cena (WWE United States Title): Given that we're probably going to see a rematch between Cena and Rusev next month at WrestleMania, this first match could be a little awkward. However, Rusev's United States Title is on the line, and that gives us something to work with. Projection? Rusev and Cena brawl, and things are looking even. The brawl spills outside the ring, and Rusev whacks Cena with the timekeeper's bell to get himself disqualified. Cena wins, but Big John does not capture the title.

Triple H Confronts Sting: There's a lot of interest in the buildup to Sting's first WWE match. So far, the setup for The Icon vs. The Game has gone very well. Sting is always better when he's doing his strong, silent routine, so let's go with that. Projection? Triple H calls Sting to the ring, and asks what Captain Trenchcoat wants. Sting takes his baseball bat and points at the WrestleMania sign. Triple H is not amused, and motions J&J Security, Curtis Axel, Heath Slater & Fandango into the ring to surround Sting. Once they arrive, the lights go out. When the lights come back on, all of Triple H's henchmen have been laid out in the ring, Sting is standing in the aisle, and Triple H is completely flummoxed.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan (#1 Contenders Match): So, what's the best move here? I've come around on the idea of doing Brock Lesnar against Daniel Bryan in a singles match, and it would probably be pretty great. WWE could do Reigns vs. Lesnar, adding in outside interference, Paul Heyman possibly turning on Lesnar and Seth Rollins cashing in his briefcase. That would provide more than enough intrigue. Or, we could do it this way... Projection? The Authority looks on backstage as Bryan and Reigns showcase what they each do well. Reigns escapes from the Yes Lock. Bryan kicks out of a spear from Roman Reigns. Finally, Bryan hits his running knee on Reigns. Roman clearly has his foot under the bottom rope, but the referee doesn't see it, and Bryan pins Reigns. JBL points out the ref's mistake on commentary as the show wraps up.

Tomorrow night on Raw, the show kicks off with Roman Reigns demanding a rematch. Reigns shows the replay, and everyone sees that Reigns had his foot under the bottom rope. Enter Daniel Bryan, who tells Reigns he's been waiting eight months to get his rematch, and he's not giving up his shot at Lesnar. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon come out to enjoy the chaos. Then...cue Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.

Heyman mocks Reigns and Bryan, and talks about Brock will be happy to give Reigns a title shot after WrestleMania. The champion interrupts. Brock points out that he was able to beat two men by himself at the Royal Rumble, and he'll have no problem beating both Bryan and Reigns at WrestleMania. For the second year in a row, the WrestleMania main event will be a triple threat match.

Aftermath: WrestleMania brings us Lesnar vs. Bryan vs. Reigns, Sting vs. Triple H, John Cena against Rusev in a cage, plus Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins, Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt, and maybe even another Andre the Giant memorial battle royal.

***
Pat McNeill has been a PWTorch Columnist since 2001. He lives in Greenville, South Carolina. He'd take the Grizzlies over Portland in the Sunday NBA game. You know, if gambling were legal.

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