By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

Never fear, McNeill is here! PWTorch Columnist Pat McNeill will be doing his live blog of the 2015 WWE Royal Rumble below. May the odds be ever in your favor.

The road to WrestleMania begins here. The road to Pat not getting enough sleep tonight begins with the kickoff show. Your panel consists of Booker T, Byron Saxton & Corey Graves. Renee has a new hairdo. It works for her.

Prediction time. Renee picks Daniel Bryan. Corey picks Reigns.

Backstage to Tom Phillips. You know the budget is low when the Social Media Lounge doesn't have chairs.

If you missed my preview column, "Cena and Bryan should win." #RoyalRumbleInFiveWords.

"Natalya and Paige are two divas you want to keep an eye on." Well, Nattie's married. But otherwise, I'm right with you, Renee.

Road Dogg wonders why "Fred Phillips" is interviewing him and not the Ascension. Oh, I know the answer! Pick me!

Booker sits down with Shawn Michaels. This is like the Super Bowl pregame show, except not as exciting.

I can hear the "We Want Ziggler" chants in the arena. Then again, I also hear fans yelling "Baba Booey!"

Tomorrow night on WWE Network, it's the premiere of "WWE 24." Oh, good. I missed Jack Bauer.

Time for our preshow match. It's The New Day vs. the law firm of Cesaro & Kidd. You know what I like about The New Day? The entrance song. I especially enjoy how "New Day" rhymes with "New Day."

Adam Rose is scratched from the preshow match. I hope, for Adam's sake, WWE liked my idea for putting Rose in the Rumble match.

Cole enjoys The New Day's positivity. *I'm* positive the crowd is cheering for Cesaro and Kidd.

Yes, this is a good match. I'm distracted by trying to figure out how Caldwell's picture showed up on my VIP live blog.

Say what you will about WWE Creative, they were smart enough to figure out the crowd would be behind the Cesaro-Kidd combo. Really good match.

Booker T's so pleased with New Day's performance in the match that he denies even knowing Kingston, Langston & Woods.

Royal Rumble By The Numbers video. That may be the last time we hear Rey Mysterio's name on a live WWE show.

Final picks from our panel, Renee picks Bryan, Booker picks Rusev, Corey picks Reigns and Byron picks Bray Wyatt. One of these things just doesn't belong here.

Tom Phillips interviews Ryback. Really? Ryback can cut an acceptable promo, but we can't produce Roman Reigns? Really?

We hear from Ziggler and Rowan. I'm a little disappointed Rowan didn't answer his question with "I love...lamp."

Booker T compares John Cena to Bernie Mac's character in "Mr. 3000." I thought *I* was in charge of the obscure references here.

By the way, The Rock is in the house. Time for the main show.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Something something something WWE Forever.

Good video package, but I wish it had been narrated by Christopher Lambert.

The Outlaws come out wearing Philly Phanatic hats. Somewhere, Mick Foley is asking "Why didn't I think of that?"

With the money WWE spent on Ascension's entrance video, they could have bought a better tag team.

The Ascension thinks they're better than the Road Warriors, Demolition & The Powers of Pain. Yes, but are they better than Tekno Team 2000? Inquiring minds want to know.

Finally, Victor & Konor hit their finisher and pin Billy clean. Well, this puts them ahead of the Master Blasters.

Hey, remember that time Mr. McMahon went on the Stone Cold podcast and embarrassed himself? We're doing it again, except with Triple H.

Stephanie explains that WWE is the House of McMahon. The house her father and grandfather built. The house her great-grandfather built by being the fall guy for that boxing scandal ...Oh, wait. Too much information.

Paul Heyman is there. He tells The Authority he can solve all of their problems. So, he wants to take over WWE Creative?

The story of this match is Miz refusing to tag Mizdow. The announcers point that Miz should be using Mizdow to take the lumps for him. On cue, Miz shoves Mizdow into the path of Jimmy Uso. Hey, that's good service.

Mizdow keeps helping Miz and Miz keeps ignoring him. So Miz gets double teamed and pin. JBL manages to blame this on Mizdow.

Time to go upstairs to the Kickoff Panel. Yeah, I don't think Bryon Saxton is quite ready to fill in for Skip Bayless.

Joey Mercury decides he'd rather play the new WWE mobile game than watch the show. That ad would make more sense on Raw.

Up next, Paige & Natalya vs. The Bellas in our All Women Secretly Hate Each Other match.

Last week, Sting had his first appearance on #Raw. He made a stern face, didn't do anything and didn't say anything. So, WWE is booking to his strengths.

The Bellas win. Nattie doesn't see Paige get knocked off the apron and blames her partner for the loss. This will set up that episode of Total Divas where there's some sort of misunderstanding.

The Divas match is over, and he's told us how hot the Bellas are. Can Lawler go back to the hotel now?

Rusev speaks English now. Those Rosetta Stone discs really work! And Rosa Mendes gets to talk! What else am I missing by not watching Smackdown?

Time for the title match. I'll lay out unless something funny happens. Like the crowd's rendition of "John Cena Suuuuuuuuuuuucks," for example.

So far, Lesnar having two opponents means he gets to deliver twice as many suplexes. It's basic math.

This is turning into Lesnar vs. Rollins & Cena. Until Rollins turns on Cena. Which...just happened.

There's some guy on Twitter complaining that Lesnar only has two moves. I count three. Knee lift, suplex, F5. He used to do the shooting star press, but we know why he stopped doing that move.

Wow. Cena and Rollins really did just team up to take out Lesnar. And Lesnar keeps coming back. If WWE wanted to bury Lesnar before Brock leaves, they're not doing a very good job.

Mercury & Noble run in to save Rollins. Um, what took them so long?

Cena fights off all three men because, you know, it's a WWE show. Rollins hits the phoenix splash, Lesnar pops up, makes the save, destroys Cena and pins Rollins. Well, then. See you in March, Brock!

Do you need me to tell you that was a fantastic WWE match, or can you figure that out for yourselves?

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Go see everything you could be watching instead of WWE television!

Brock Lesnar is advertised for next month's pay-per-view. That makes me happy.

Rumble time. Miz is Number 1, as I projected. R-Truth is Number 2. Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted. R-Truth raps. The crowd is dead silent.

Bubba Ray returns at Number 3. What the...? Did I just become head booker, and I missed it?

Luke Harper is Number 4. Punch and kick time.

Bray Wyatt is Number 5. By the time his entrance is done, Number 6 will be here. Harper & Wyatt beat down Bubba, and the crowd figures out exactly where this is going.

Nope. Curtis Axel is Number 6. Except Rowan beats him up and takes his spot. The band's back together! For twelve seconds. Bray stands alone, and we await number 7, who is The Boogeyman.

Out goes Boogey. Sin Cara is in at number eight. This might not end well. Out goes Sin Cara.

By the way, do you SEE how easy it is to push someone? Just saying.

Zack Ryder is in at Number 9. One offensive move. Two. three. Four. Maybe Zack can...Nope.

Daniel Bryan is Number 10, just like I called. JBL does NOT tell us 2015 is the Year Of Unsightly Facial Hair. Bryan lasts until Number 11, which brings...Fandango.

Tyson Kidd is your surprise Number 12 entrant. I approve.

Stardust is Number 13. Bryan drops Tyson Kidd. Number 14 is a yoga instructor. Cutters all around. Rusev is in at Number 15. He dumps Fandango and DDP.

Bray eliminates Daniel Bryan...and the air goes out of the balloon. Goldust is in at Number 16. Now comes the acid test. Can the crowd keep chanting for Daniel Bryan for twenty-five more minutes?

Kofi Kingston is Number 17. And Adam Rose is Number 18. Okay, strap yourselves in...

There it is. The Rosebuds save Kofi from elimination, but not Adam Rose. JBL says "You can't trust a guy who's dressed as a hot dog." Words to live by there.

Reigns is Number 19. Listen to that crowd. Everyone who is not Reigns, Bray or Rusev gets eliminated. Big E. is Number 20. Mizdow is Number 21. THAT gets a pop.

Miz comes out to take Mizdow's spot. Not happening. Mizdow lays Miz out. It doesn't get the reaction it should.

Mizdow gets dumped by Bray. Swagger is Number 22. Go, Jack. Ryback is Number 23. Because this match needs more big guys.

What are they chanting? "See Him Dunk?" Is one of the Sixers here? ...Oh, wait. Now I get it.

Kane is Number 24. Dean Ambrose is Number 25. Good pop for him. I think the crowd will forgive WWE if Ambrose or Ziggler win. Not that it would ever happen.

Titus O'Neil is Number 26...I mean, was. Titus O'Neil WAS Number 26.

Barrett is Number 27. That leaves Dolph, Big Show and Mystery Guest.

Cesaro is Number 28. The ring is clogged up. Rusev drops Big E. Number 29 is...The Big Show. Awesome. The big pop is at Number 30 for Dolph.

The big guys take over. We're down to Ambrose & Reigns vs. Big Show & Kane. And the crowd died when Ziggler was eliminated.

Out goes Ambrose. That was anticlimactic. The crowd is chanting something that rhymes with Full Spit. If I didn't know better, I'd say the crowd was upset with this finish.

Reigns eliminates Show and Kane, who come back in to beat Roman up. Gee, I wonder who will come to save Reigns?...Yeah, it's The Rock.

Rock makes the save. So, Reigns wins because Kane and Big Show were fighting amongst themselves, and needs his big brother to make the save. Then WWE will wonder why the crowd isn't behind Reigns.

Oh, wait. Rusev was never eliminated...Oh, now he is. Never mind.

Reigns vs. Lesnar at WrestleMania. You know, if you're determined to have a finish nobody likes, bringing The Rock out to distract from it is a smart move.

That's it from McNeill Manor. Join James and Greg on PWTorchLivecast.com at the bottom of the hour. VIP members, the Roundtable will be live in about 90 minutes. Good night!

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