By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our quarterly TNA Wrestling pay-per-view preview column!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from "Big" John Gaburick, Dave "I Want Wrestling" Lagana or anybody else in Carter Country. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything's made up and the points don't matter. No TNA employees have been harmed in the writing of this column. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive a Ronco Pocket Fisherman Spin Casting Outfit, the famous fishing pal that has thrilled generations. Ronco Pocket Fisherman: It's always ready for the fish to strike. Closed captioning for this column is provided by America Online. This is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had control over what remains of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. It's not like I could do any worse.

Will this be a good wrestling show? I think so. It's a little bit sad that Spike TV is about to drop TNA as their television show has been more watchable, but you have to remember that Spike has carried Impact for nine years, which is a pretty good run. Is TNA Bound For Glory worth $40, the price of FOUR WWE Network pay-per-views, and the assorted content that goes with it? That's your call, people. (Spoiler: Probably not.)

Should TNA have its own on-demand channel to compete with WWE Network? They already do.



More on Bound for Glory later. Let's go on to this week's Wrestling History Lesson, because that's why many of you clicked here in the first place. Twenty years ago, on October 23, 1994, World Championship Wrestling presented "WCW Halloween Havoc 1994" from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan. That show can be found on WWE Network. The highlight of the pregame show, however, is right here. Tony Schiavone & Bobby Heenan have the call as Brian "Road Dogg" Armstrong battles Booker T.


Booker.T vs. Brian Armstrong (Road Dogg/BG James) by Stinger1981

Here's the main event of this week's episode of TNA Xplosion, and it's not bad at all. We take you to Manhattan, where Gail Kim took on Brittany Garrett. Jeremy Borash and Mike Tenay are on commentary.



Can you believe TNA Impact has been on the air for ten years? I feel older. Let's revisit those thrilling days of yesteryear as we go back to the Impact Zone in Orlando. On October 15, 2004, it was Jeff Hardy taking on...(wait for it)...Monty Brown! Mike Tenay & Don West had the call.


October 15, 2004 TNA Impact Jeff Hardy vs Monty... by TRANCIUS

On with the show!

Andy Wu & Hijo Del Pantera vs. Kuroshio Ikemen Jiro & Yusuke Kodama: All four athletes are from Wrestle-1, so this should be a representative sample of what we're dealing with this weekend. Projection? Kodama pins Wu after landing the corkscrew moonsault, so we can get off to a fast start.

Jessicka Havok vs. Velvet Sky: TNA lists Havok as its Knockouts champion, and who I am to argue with that? Especially when Wrestle-1's done a much more effective job of breaking TNA's kayfabed title lineage. Projection? Havok retains with the chokeslam. I just knew you people would like her once you got to know her.

Minoru Tanaka vs. Manik: No, I'm sure the former Best of the Super Juniors winner was placed on this show to put over a guy who occasionally competes in the X Division. Projection? Tanaka forces Manik to submit to the Heat Clutch.

MVP vs. Kazma Sakamoto: If TNA brought in Kazma Sakamoto, how long would it be until they rename him Cosmo Sakamoto, and give him a Kramer gimmick? I don't know. It still sounds better than his WWE gimmick. Projection? MVP with the Drive-By Kick.

Ethan Carter III vs. Ryota Hama: Ethan Carter III is one of TNA's linchpins. Hama is a former All Japan Triple Crown Champion. Just imagine what the anticipation level would be for this if TNA had built this match up for, oh, more than fifteen seconds. Projection? Hopefully, Rockstar Spud does not show up and get involved. The Japanese star takes it with the Ryota Hammer.

TNA Hall of Fame induction: Bully Ray and Brother Devon actually get treated with respect, and this doesn't turn about to be part of a ridiculous storyline to get James Storm's heel faction over. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Speaking of dreamers...

Team 3-D vs. Abyss & Tommy Dreamer: We haven't had a good, old-fashioned slobberknocker like this one in, oh, about a month or so. Projection? The Hall of Famers connect with the 3-D to pin Dreamer. Abyss and his new buddy James Storm take out their anger on Tommy. Which makes for a nice lead-in to the next match.

Great Muta & Tajiri vs. James Storm & Great Sanada: Yes, Wrestle-1 really did have Tajiri turn heel last week. It doesn't look good for The Great Muta. Projection? Muta can't overcome the odds, and Sanada defeats his mentor with the Shining Wizard.

Low-Ki vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kaz Hayashi (TNA X Division Title): Yes, I'm excited about this match. Mostly because, for once, these three will have enough time to deliver a pay-per-view main event. Projection? I expect TNA to continue being itself. Joe plants Hayashi with a muscle buster to win the match and leave with the TNA X Division Title. Then TNA allows the rest of the Joe/Low-Ki storyline to play out on Impact, and ignores any problems within the space-time continuum.

Aftermath: I have a feeling we'll see a lot of Bobby Roode, James Storm, Abyss, Low-Ki and Ethan Carter III as they lead TNA into 2015. But I have no idea where they will lead TNA, or for how long. Sorry.

***
Pat McNeill of Greenville, South Carolina has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. You can e-mail him at patmcneill@live.com. He'd take the Philadelphia Eagles over the New York Giants in tonight's pro football game. You know, if gambling were legal.

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