By Pat McNeill, PWTorch Columnist

Pro Wrestling Torch Columnist Pat McNeill will be live blogging tonight's WWE Survivor Series pay-per-view after he sets his DVR. Stay tuned.

We kick things off with Josh Mathews and the WWE Hall of Fame panel of Bret Hart, Booker T and The Shaggy Man. We need a separate commentary track, so fans have the option of hearing Booker T's commentary throughout the show.

Renee Young is in the WWE Social Media center, waiting to see which random wrestlers show up to hit on her. She wants you to get on Twitter and choose your Survivor Series Dream Team. I'll be using the hashtag #LeonardosPizza for that one.

C.M. Punk and Daniel Bryan are calling themselves the GOATs. (Greatest Of All Teams) JBL will be running with that one.

Since Monday, someone explained to John Layfield what "crunk" means. So JBL announces he plans to get crunk tonight.

It's Kofi vs. The Miz. Cole explains that Miz is a former WrestleMania headliner, and that Kofi's held a bunch of meaningless secondary titles. I might be paraphrasing.

Here's my insider analysis. If either Orton or Cena lose their titles tonight, it's time to start shorting WWE stock.

Yes, Miz pins Kofi clean as whistle in the middle of the ring. Outstanding work here by WWE creative. Time for the main show.

Tonight's WWE Survivor Series begins with a promo from The Authority? Really? Do you mean it?

Triple H and Stephanie promise there will be no "physical" interference in any match tonight. I have a bad feeling about this. Does anyone else remember the movie "Scanners?"

We are LIVE at the TD Garden with the only 16,000 people in the Boston area who aren't watching tonight's NFL game.

BREAKING NEWS: Ricardo Rodriguez has joined the WWE Spanish announce team.

We kick things off with Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Rey Mysterio & The Usos vs. The Shield & The Real Americans. Zeb Colter comes out to accuse the crowd of being more concerned with "twerking" than politics.

JBL tells us he wants to see Zeb Colter twerk. Sweet Jesus, he's crunk already.

Good start to the match as Goldust takes the heat.

Did You Know? Jack Swagger was once WWE World Heavyweight Champion.

The Rhodes team eliminates Ambrose and Swagger, so it's five on three. Cesaro interrupts for a quick game of "Swing The Samoans," then he gets eliminated too. It's five on two.

Michael Cole calls Gorilla Monsoon the best WWE announcer ever. Speaking of "Scanners," Bruce Mitchell's head just exploded.

Jimmy Uso gets speared. It's four on two. Cody Rhodes pins the wrong guy and gets speared. Three on two. And Jey Uso gets curbstomped. It's two on two.

Mysterio takes the heat for a while, blocks the powerbomb and pins Rollins. Time for part one of Roman Reigns' babyface turn.


Goldust gets the hot tag, but eats the spear from Reigns. Then Roman spears Rey for the victory.

For those of you keeping score, it's 2013 and Goldust will likely end up with the best performance at the WWE Survivor Series.

Last week, The Authority gave WWE Champion Randy Orton a "vote of confidence." You know, like the one the University of Florida just gave Will Muschamp.

It's Big E. Langston defending the Intercontinental Title against Curtis Axel. John Layfield describes Langston in a word as "explosive." I'd have used the word "hexadronic," but that's me.

Big E. wins the match and is interviewed by Renee Young. Langston tells the crowd he doesn't want to pander to the Boston fans, then proceeds to pander to the Boston fans. Mick Foley must be proud.

A.J. Lee cuts a very good heel promo. Not as good as the cast of "Total Divas" cuts during episodes of "Total Divas," but very good nonetheless.

Total Divas vs. True Divas. Get the stopwatch out.

Earlier this weekend, the Divas volunteered for the local food bank. Both teams of Divas. The heels AND the faces. Nice work.

On Monday, I put the over/under for this match at seven minutes. It's going to be a close one. JoJo is STILL in the match, six minutes in, so I expect some shenanigans.

JoJo, as it turns out, was not the worst wrestler in this match. It comes down to Natalya Neidhart and A.J. Lee, and this match has already gone longer than expected. Natalya wins to set up the next pointless WWE Divas feud.

Backstage, Orton talks to referee Charles Robinson. That doesn't go so well, so Randy calls Earl Hebner on his cell.

Ryback interrupts the Hall of Fame panel and issues an open challenge. And out comes...Norv Fernum? Just kidding. It's MARK HENRY. JBL puts a cap on this moment by talking about Bill Kazmaier.

Jerry Lawler thinks Mark Henry's new hairdo makes him look like Rick Ross. Well, at least JBL didn't jump in with a Ranger Ross reference.

Booking 102 would have the returning former World champ just destroy the guy who's in the WWE doghouse. But we have a whole pay-per-view to fill, so it takes Henry a little while to get the win. Cole and JBL are amazed Henry actually left his feet during the bout.

So, who's going to replace The Miz in the K-Mart commercials? I vote for Mark Henry.

And yes, it says something about WWE that the big crowd-pleasing returns on tonight's show are Rey Mysterio and Mark Henry, both of whom have been wrestling on the national stage for 17 years.

It's John Cena defending the World Heavyweight Title against Alberto Del Rio. Must resist...temptation...to watch...Broncos...game.

Del Rio's going after the arm. John Layfield explains that they're having viewing parties all over Mexico to watch Del Rio win the title. Remind me to check the buyrates for Mexico when they come out in a few months.

Remember, you can follow the Survivor Series conversation on Twitter by using the hashtag #SixFumbles.

Cena reverses the flying armbar into the STF in the spot of the match so far. Del Rio makes the ropes. Del Rio hits the flying armbar on his second attempt, but Cena picks up Del Rio with a basic bicep curl, just like Davey Boy used to do. Del Rio tries the move AGAIN, because he can't take a hint, and gets his Attitude Adjusted. Cena wins.

Is it too soon to call this show "another swing and another miss?" Cena and Del Rio had as good a match as I've seen these two have, but there was no demand for it whatsoever.

R-Truth and Santino are backstage playing with the WWE PowerSlammers ring set. I'm waiting for Reg Dunlop to show up and say "They brought their f---ing TOYS with them!"

Punk & Bryan vs. Harper & Rowan are next. Might as well stick around for this one.

I don't like the Wyatts' chances. Unless, of course, they actually *brought* alligators to Boston with them.

Cole explains that Rowan is the one in the sheep mask. He's not the best play-by-play man in the business for nothing. Michael then goes on to mention that Daniel Bryan is a former WWE champion. I hope they don't dock his pay for that.

Even money says we get a rematch on Raw tomorrow night.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

This match is going better than I expected. The crowd is treating it like a main event. Well done, WWE. Bryan and Punk hit a running knee/Go To Sleep combo and finish it. That was fun. Good night, everybody! Oh, wait...

We get a backstage segment where The Authority pretends they didn't read the WrestleMania storyline ideas in my Survivor Series preview article.

Video package for Randy Orton vs. Big Show. Free advice for the readers: If you end up in a job situation like Big Show's, don't settle for getting your job back. Take the money and run. You're about to find out why.

On the bright side, it looks like WWE left just the right amount of satellite time for this match. Also on the bright side? We've had (almost) no outside interference on this show.

Randy Orton vs. Big Show. WWE Title. The crowd, of course, chants for All Japan wrestler Joe Doering. Or something like that.

Referee Charles Robinson gets knocked out. Show and Orton brawl outside the ring. Orton gets knocked out. The Authority show up on the ramp and distract Big Show. RKO. Soccer kick. Orton wins. So there.

We're done here. No! No, we're not. Here comes John Cena to piss in Randy Orton's cornflakes. Staredown between Orton and Cena. That's it. Happy Thanksgiving!

Now that Survivor Series is done, go check out James and Greg on PWTorchLivecast.com for the postgame show. Then join us on the VIP side (Spend that extra $1 if you have to) and I'll be on the roundtable with Wade and Bruce. Good night, everybody.

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