By Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our DGUSA internet pay-per-view preview column!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Gabe Sapolsky or Sal "Amway" Hamaoui. No one knows the contents of these projections, but I, in my divine and mystical way, will ascertain the finishes to these matches despite not being caught up on my Dragon Gate DVDs. Contestants not appearing on stage will receive a year's supply of Fruit Stripe chewing gum. The original fruit striped gum in five juicy flavors, furnished by Beech Nut. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing.

The big news this weekend is that DGUSA will have high-speed internet available in Milwaukee, so the Sunday night "Way of the Ronin" event will also be on Internet PPV. That's great and all, except some of us have already been assigned to review the TNA No Surrender pay-per-view, which also takes place Sunday night. As you can imagine, this leads to some very interesting questions, such as:

- Which show will get more buys, TNA's "No Surrender" or DGUSA's "Way of the Ronin?"

- Will the ring show up on time this year for DGUSA in Milwaukee? This is not a rhetorical question.

- Which promotion will have the more entertaining show? Okay, that one IS a rhetorical question.

- Which show will have the louder audience? TNA with a full Impact Zone, or DGUSA with, um, fewer people in attendance?

- Which show will be easier to watch online? This is sort of a trick question. Sure, the TNAOnDemand streaming website is the drizzling dumps, but WWNLive had technical difficulties with the last set of DGUSA pay-per-views, and the last EVOLVE pay-per-view, and that FIP pay-per-view.

(The correct answer is "TNA No Surrender." We certainly don't condone piracy here at PWTorch, so if you plan to watch "No Surrender" online, I recommend paying TNAOnDemand for the show, so that you can flip over to Justin.tv and watch the event with a clear conscience, not to mention better quality. Anyway, where was I?)

Before we get to our picks, let's do today's Wrestling History Lesson. As you know, one of DGUSA's megastars is PAC, the Open The Brave Gate champion (or, if that's too confusing for you, the Dragon Gate X Division Champion). Back on July 1, 2006, it was PAC taking on certifiably insane TNA and ROH wrestler Teddy Hart on a 1PW show in Yorkshire, England. Enjoy the spots.





And, as your free gift for viewing this column, let's take you back to April 14 of this year. At Korakuen Hall in Tokyo, Japan, the Blood Warriors trio of Cima & Dragon Kid & Ricochet defended the Dragon Gate Triangle Gate titles against the World-1 crew of PAC & Susumu Yokosuka & BxB Hulk. The commentary is in Japanese, but it's still better than listening to Michael Cole call Smackdown.



It was a simpler time. Now, on with the projections for Saturday night's pay-per-stream!

Tag Team Discovery Match: Let's go with the Larry Dallas duo of Caleb Konley & Scott Reed getting the victory over Irish Airborne.

Rich Swann vs. Jon Davis: Who don't like Rich Swann and Jon Davis? In Dragon Gate Japan, Swann is apparently now part of the Junction Three, a stable with eleven members. This explains why Gabe Saplosky still has Swann aligned with Ronin over here. Projection? Swann pins Jon Davis with the Standing 450. I'm still waiting for Gabe to pair Swann with Brodie Lee as the tag team of "Big & Rich."

Johnny Gargano vs. Akira Tozawa: Holy crap. This looks like a good match. Projection? Tozawa with the Tozawa Driver. If you haven't seen Tozawa in action over the past eighteen months, he's a fantastic wrestler. And you should get out more.

Sabu & A.R. Fox vs. Arik Cannon & Pinkie Sanchez (No Disqualification Match): Good gawd. I last saw Sabu live in 2000, and he was washed up then. But from a style standpoint, he's a better fit than Tommy Dreamer. Projection? Sabu pins Pinkie Sanchez with the Arabian Facebuster because, well, it's Pinkie Sanchez. No offense.

Sami Callahan vs. Naruki Doi vs. Chuck Taylor vs. Masato Yoshino: One wrestler from each of the four major DGUSA stables. This is what happens When Styles Collide. Projection? We get some wild, wild action, which ends when Yoshino catches Doi with the Lightning Spiral. A big win for the Speed Star.

PAC vs. Ricochet: A preview of Sunday night's tag title non-unification bout, with one wrestler from either team. Dragon Gate Japan has made a big star out of Ricochet, the one breakout star to emerge from DGUSA. Projection? Another incredible exhibition of guys kicking out of insane finishing moves, ending with PAC hitting the British Airways for the victory.

YAMATO vs. CIMA (Dragon Gate United States Title - Match will be contested with the Caps Lock Key on.): With respect to the tag teams, this is the biggest match of DGUSA's weekend in the Midwest. Yes, YAMATO is the babyface and CIMA is the heel. Just roll with it. Projection? Yamato forces the evil Blood Warrior to tap out with the CBV.

Aftermath: As for Sunday night in Milwaukee, I will take Pinkie Sanchez over Flip Kendrick, Chuck Taylor and Rich Swann over Caleb Konley & Scott Reed, Akira Tozawa over Jon Davis, Naruki Doi over Johnny Gargano, the DUF's to beat Yamato & A.R. Fox, and the Blood Warriors to defeat Yoshino & PAC in the main event.

***

Pat McNeill of Richmond, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He really hopes Arian Foster can play on Sunday, because his fantasy football weekend depends on it.

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