By Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our monthly TNA Wrestling pay-per-view preview column!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Vince Russo, Eric Bischoff, Brother Love or anybody else in Carter Country. No TNA bookers have been harmed in the writing of this column. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive a supply of Golden Dipt Seasoned Coating Mix. This well balanced Batter Mix helps seal in natural juices with a flavorful, golden coating, while making your cooking easy. From McCormick. If you are fortunate enough to spin a natural triple in the bonus game you win $1,000 and the prize package. However, if the Devil comes up at any time in one of the three windows, your game is over. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had control over Total Nonstop Action, except for the part where Honky Tonk Man comes in to feud with Jeff Jarrett.

You have to admit, this Sunday's pay-per-view is different from some other TNA pay-per-views that have aired this year. For one thing, I know the pay-per-view is tomorrow, because TNA was pushing the show instead of some future episode of Impact. I know the main matches for this show, because TNA spent Thursday night reminding us about them. And that's great. The part I don't understand is they're still calling the show "Hardcore Justice" when there aren't any stipulation matches on the show. Curious, huh?

By the way, Amazing Red was released from TNA this week. You know, if I were handling talent relations for a large wrestling company in Connecticut, and I was looking for the next Rey Mysterio, and the guy I had hired to be the next Rey Mysterio, um, wasn't working out so well, I'd give Red a call. Wouldn't you?

Let's go on to this week's Wrestling History Lesson. Fifteen years ago, on August 15th, 1996, World Championship Wrestling held Clash of the Champions XXXIII in Denver, Colorado. Most of the show was built around the ongoing struggle between the New World Order and the Four Horsemen. But the show opened with young Rey Mysterio defending the WCW X Division, I mean, Cruiserweight Title against "The Iceman" Dean Malenko. You'll never guess who dropped in on commentary for this match. (Okay, maybe you will.)



Also, as a special bonus, here's the main event of last week's episode of TNA Xplosion. It's Shannon Moore taking on Brutus Magnus.



Ken Anderson, in a blatant attempt to kiss up to the columnist, channels Meat Loaf at the 6:00 mark.



On with the projections!

Brother Devon vs. Pope D'Angelo the First (Bound For Glory Series Match): This feud, such as it is, is all about Devon not trusting Pope, who has been making eyes at Mrs. Devon and getting in good with Devon's sons. Projection? Pope grabs the tights, unbeknownst to Devon's family, to score the pinfall win and pick up the seven points.

Crimson vs. Rob Van Dam (Bound For Glory Series Match): Crimson and Van Dam are the two top guys in the Bound For Glory series, but the most interesting BFG note of the week was Samoa Joe going nuts after being disqualified on Impact. That looked a lot like the return of Psycho Samoa Joe, which is probably for the best. Projection? Joe interrupts the match, beats the urine out of Rob Van Dam and Crimson, and we get a no contest.

Tara Varon & Ms. Tessmacher vs. Sarita Stock & Rosita Trinidad (TNA Knockouts Tag Team Title): Recently, Tara and Tessmacher captured the Knockouts tag team title, quite possibly due to the facial injury sustained by Sarita. Projection? Tara catches Rosita with the Black Widow, and the champions retain the belts.

Mickie James vs. Winter w/ Angelina Love (TNA Knockouts Title): Now that Angelina Love's Stockholm Syndrome has kicked, Winter can concentrate on capturing the Knockouts title from Mickie James. Projection? Winter gets surprised by The Long Kiss Goodnight, and Mickie goes on to promote another country album.

Mr. Ken Anderson vs. Bully Ray: Yes, the Immortal stable took a whopping two months to break up, as the two top wrestlers in the group hate each other. And yes, Anderson looked like a sap when he accepted Bully's apology and took one in the doodads. Doesn't Anderson ever WATCH Impact? Projection? Anderson gets the hard-fought victory with the Mic Check.

A.J. Styles, Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian vs. Gunner, Scott Steiner & Abyss: The main storyline involving the Fortune stable has been the tension between best friends A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels. That's a good backdrop for an otherwise meaningless six-man tag. Projection? Gunner pins A.J. Styles after a miscommunication between Daniels and Styles. Let's drag this out a little bit.

Brian Kendrick vs. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries (TNA X Division Title): Longtime friends and current stablemates A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels are squaring off as part of a friendly rivalry or something. Projection? Aries is able to pin Kendrick with the brainbuster, and we have a new X Division champion.

Beer Money vs. Mexican America (TNA World Tag Team Titles): While checking through the history of "Hard Justice", it turns out that Hard Justice 2008 featured Beer Money taking on Hernandez and Homicide. Anarquia...is not Homicide. Projection? Roode pins Anarquia following the DWI, and that'll about do it.

Sting vs. Kurt Angle (TNA World Title): We've had five or six weeks of Insane Sting and his Clown Posse running amuck on Impact Wrestling. Sting might be playing a different character now, (BWA-HA-HA!) but his in-ring ability hasn't changed. I was going to be nice, but the promo battle at the end of Impact was brutal. If you're going to have Sting violate kayfabe, you might as well have him acknowledge that the Sting of 2011 doesn't belong in the main events. Projection? Kurt Angle wins the TNA World Heavyweight Title clean with the Angle Slam.

Aftermath: Next month is No Surrender. At least it's a better name than Hardcore Country. Let's go with Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson, Austin Aries defending the X Division title against Alex Shelley, and Crimson vs. Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm vs. Bully Ray in the finals of the Bound For Glory Series.

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Pat McNeill of Richmond, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He'd like to trade Tim Geithner to St. Louis for a middle reliever. Drop him a line at [email]patmcneill@live.com[/email].

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