By Pat McNeill, PWTorch columnist

Hello, you people! We are LIVE from barside for one of the most heavily anticipated matches of the summer! Unless you're a UFC fan.

But if you're a UFC fan, you're on the wrong site. It is a beautiful day in Richmond, and there are ten other wrestling fans here with me.

It's not a great turnout, but it's better than the crowd watching whatever soccer game is on the big screen.

Oh, it's a replay of America losing the Women's World Cup. Wonder why that isn't a bigger attraction?

We close the pre-show with the excellent video from Smackdown. For the record, I'd be in favor of PWTorch ice cream bars.

In an unusual twist, the redhead at the table next to me is explaining the main event storyline to the two guys at her table.

Judging by the opening video, this is a one match show.

We're opening the show with the Smackdown Money in the Bank ladder match. Well, their options were limited.

Kane cleans house early, just in case you'd forgotten how WWE works.

Justin Gabriel is introduced. I didn't know they had crickets at the Allstate Arena.

The bar is now showing the pay-per-view on the big screen, so we're all in this together. The redhead is rooting for Sheamus.

One gets the feeling that fans in the Chicagoland area don't watch a lot of Smackdown.

Booker is rooting for someone called Dee Bryan. Hey, Lawler, if you really want to shut Cole up, remind him that he lost to J.R. on Raw once.

If Sin Cara still had the trampoline he uses for his entrance, he would have won the match right there.

The Corre runites and works together... for about a minute.

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder, to the apparent joy of many in attendance.

Sin Cara gets stretchered out while Kane goes for the win.

Everyone gets a chance to climb the ladder, and nobody can pull it off. We're down to Kane and Sheamus.

Sheamus turns the ring into a Tower of Ladders. That's why he's one of 32 wrestlers in Booker's Fave Five.

There's an actual Daniel Bryan chant in the arena. Then Heath Slater kills Bryan.

Now a round of Everyone Hits His Finisher, and Daniel Bryan - who is not dead after all - tries to sneak up the ladder again.

Daniel Bryan fights off Barrett and wins teh briefcase. This actually happened. The crowd loves this.

We see video of Vince McMahon arriving with Johnny Ace and Not Jerry McDevitt.

Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella is next. The over/under on this match is 3 minutes.

That's more than three minutes, but Kelly gets the win. Most of the patrons here are fine with that. Nikki and Brie are arguing.

On August 14th, WWE will be presenting an episode of "Baywatch Nights" on pay-per-view. Big Show vs. Mark Henry is next!

Mark Henry is working the knee of Big Show. By the way, the cajun chicken here is really good.

This feud started when Big Show beat the piss out of Mark Henry for no reason and Henry came for revenge. How'd that get by Creative?

Henry hits the big splash and pins Show. Henry then grabs a chair and breaks Show's ankle. Show sells it like a champ.

Here come the EMT'S. You're gonna need a bigger boat...I mean, stretcher.

Weird show so far. If we hadn't seen Vince earlier tonight, I'd suspect Hunter of doing a "Weekend at Bernie's" with Vince's corpse.

Speaking of Vince, poor Josh Mathews has to interview him. Vince blames Cena for all his problems.

If you can figure why Vince hasn't had his entire roster beat up Punk now, backstage, and replace him with Yoshi Tatsu, send me an e-mail.

The Raw ladder match is next. Everyone stops in the aisle to grab a ladder, in order to show the Raw guys are smarter than Smackdown guys.

Miz is the crowd favorite here at the bar. Then again, we are an eclectic bunch.

The bell rings and all eight men whip out their ladders and measure them. Wait, that sounded wrong...

Del Rio knocks Bourne and Miz off the ladder and Miz hurt his knee.

Three injury storylines in 90 minutes? Or are people getting hurt?

Wow, this is spottacular. It's as though WWE watched the ROH and TNA shows and said "We can do that."

Del Rio wins after a wild finish that features Miz limping back down the aisle, Kofi nearly killing Swagger, and the return of Angelo Mosca.

An ad for WrestleMania 28, where Daniel Bryan will cash in his briefcase and wrestle Randy Orton for the Smackdown title.

Up next, Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian's lawyer drew up the contract, so you know this match will be great.

The Chicago fans give Christian a warm welcome. When is Lawler going to tell us that Chicago is "Bizarro World"?

Michael Cole fills us in on the maturation of Randy Orton. For example, he's gone 1,526 days since last having his stomach pumped.

The Insane Clown Posse is at ringside. I'll laugh if Punk takes the WWE title and defends it at "Gathering of the Juggalos."

Christian grabs a facelock. It's Vintage Christian here tonight! In fact, I think Vintage Christian is opening for Switchfoot this summer.

If you were on the fence tonight, you can go ahead and order the replay. I promise.

Christian hits the Kill Switch and Orton kicks out. And now it's time for the spear. Leafrog by Orton. Ouch.

Randy goes for his five moves of doom. He hits four of them. Randy then hits a low blow, and loses the title. Applause here at the bar.

Randy destroys Christian after the match, but it was totally worth it. Really, who's booking this show? Heyman? Hunter? Adam Pearce?

One match to go. One HOUR to go.

By the way, how dumb is Randy Orton's character? And does anyone else think that Cee Lo Green song should be R-Truth's new music?

Since there's literally nothing else on sports television right now, this is the biggest bar audience in WWE history.

"Punk's got a new shirt. He's staying." But I don't see a WWE logo on that shirt.

And they LOVE John Cena here in Chicago, folks.

Forget the match, I want to see the riot that will happen if Cena wins.

Cole is giving this match the hard sell. So is the crowd.

And there's the first mention of the Bret Hart screwjob. I hope that means we won't see another one.

I also have a feeling that WWE feels vindicated by the crowd reaction tonight, and this will be our new booking paradigm for a while.

Your Smackdown commentator, Booker T, just explained that the WWE Title is much more important than the Smackdown title.

Hey, there's Colt Cabana!  And there's a great camera angle on that running knee off the apron.

Cena's working an injured knee.  It's like pro wrestling is a sport or something.

"Will CM Punk tap out to the abdominal stretch?"  Ooooh!  I know the answer to that one!

Now I know what match this reminds me off.  The Hammerstein ballroom, June 2006.  I'm waiting for Edge with the motorcycle helmet.

Unlike Mr. RVD, Punk makes his own save, and escapes both of Cena's finishers.

Punk kicks out of the top rope legdrop.  And...Cena's out of offensive moves.

Cena, having watched the previous match, kicks Punk in the balls and gets disqualified. Just kidding.

Punk hits the GTS, but Cena rolls outside the ring. And here comes Vince and Johnny Ace (John Laurenaitis). Oh, crap. They made him a TV character.

Ace tries to stop the match, Cena knocks Ace the F out.  Cena returns to the ring and Punk hits the GTS for the win and the title.

Vince grabs the mic and orders Del Rio to cash the briefcase.  Punk knocks out Del Rio and leaves through the crowd.  That's all, folks!

Goodnight, everybody! Now go call James and Greg on the PWTorch Livecast! (www.blogtalkradio.com/pro-wrestling-torch). They're live from 11:30-12:30 ET tonight taking your calls.

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