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MCNEILL'S TAKE
Forward Into The Past: McNEILL previews TNA Impact Wrestling's Destination X 2011 PPV!

Jul 10, 2011 - 6:12:55 PM
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Staff07Pat120_6.jpg
By Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist

Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It's time for our monthly TNA Impact Wrestling pay-per-view preview column!

DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Vince Russo, Eric Bischoff, Brother Love or anybody else in Carter Country. No TNA bookers have been harmed in the writing of this column. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive an electric Big Ben alarm clock from Westclox. Westclox, the pioneers in quartz movement since 1885. There's a Westclox for everyone. And remember, four whammies brings tears to your eyes and puts you out of the game. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. Also remember that my projections are based on what I would do if I had control over Total Nonstop Action, except for the part where I start drug testing those guys in the ShopTNA warehouse.

As we head into the all X division show on Sunday, let's look at the positives in Impact Wrestling.

- A TNA pay-per-view without Sting, Ken Anderson, Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, the Hardys and the Jarretts.
- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus for the theme music. A fine choice.
- Last week's "limited commerical interruptions" show was a great idea.

Sure, there's plenty of reasons to goof on Impact Wrestling, starting at the top with BWA-HA-HA Sting, but we hopefully won't see them this weekend. Let's go on to this week's Wrestling History Lesson. Twenty years ago, on July 14th, 1991, World Championship Wrestling held its annual Great American Bash in Baltimore, Maryland. There, WCW opened the show by featuring four of its best athletes in a death-defying spotfest. Oh, wait. Wrong show. This is the one with Bobby Eaton and "The Rapmaster" P.N. News facing "Stunning" Steve Austin and Terry Taylor in a scaffold match. Yes, Lady Blossom was hot.



Also, as a special bonus, here's the main event of last week's episode of TNA Xplosion. It's Alex Shelley taking on Okada.





Don West's got a brand new bag. Guess whose merchandise is priced to move?



On with the projections!

Douglas Williams issues an open challenge: You would think that Anarquia of Mexican America would answer the challenge, given that the two stables are feuding. But TNA might want to throw us a curveball. Projection? It's the TNA debut of Extreme Tiger from AAA in Mexico. Tiger gets the victory with the Sabertooth Splash, because he's grrrrrrrrrreat!

Austin Aries vs. Jack Evans vs. Low-Ki vs. Zema Ion (Winner Gets A TNA Contract): The fact that all four of these wrestlers were available for Destination X is probably good news for Jeff Jarrett's All Wheels Wrestling promotion. Projection? Low-Ki pins Zema with a top rope double stomp to earn the contract. TNA should also hire Austin Aries, while they're at it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn: Last year, TNA wanted to put Rob Van Dam and Jerry Lynn in the main event of Hardcore Justice. What a difference eleven months makes. Projection? Rob Van Dam wins with the frog splash. Unfortunately, it's not 1998 any more.

Samoa Joe vs. Frank Kazarian: Samoa Joe and Kazarian are really good friends. At least they were until that bar fight on Impact. Projection? Joe gets the victory with the muscle buster. The poor guy has to beat somebody.

A.J. Styles vs. Christopher Daniels: Longtime friends and current stablemates A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels are squaring off as part of a friendly rivalry or something. Projection? Daniels wins with a low blow. Daniels, Low-Ki and possibly Elix Skipper reform the infamous Triple X. Although they should probably come up with a better name.

Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Robbie E vs. Shannon Moore (Ultimate X Match): The Ultimate X is the ultimate TNA match experience, where a bunch of undercard guys take death-defying bumps to win or qualify for the undercard title. Yeah, I know. It's depressing if you look at it that way. Projection? The one guy who can add some credibility to this quest is Alex Shelley. Shelley wins and earns an X division title shot on an upcoming episode of Impact Wrestling, which will give him something to do until Chris Sabin returns.

Abyss vs. Brian Kendrick for the TNA X Division Title: That was a heck of a segment between X division champion Abyss and top contender Brian Kendrick. Abyss looked like a goof for standing there while Kendrick delivered his stupid Zen lecture. Kendrick looked like a goof for standing there too long and letting Abyss beat him up anyway. Projection? Abyss wins after hitting Kendrick with the Shock Treatment. I mean, I know this is listed as the main event, but you know it isn't. And Kendrick isn't the right guy.

Aftermath: Next month is Hardcore Justice. At least it's a better name than Hardcore Country. Let's go with Ken Anderson vs. Kurt Angle, Sting & Matt Morgan & Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner & Abyss in a Walk & Brawl street fight, and Brother Devon vs. Bully Ray in a tables match.

Also, no matter what the buyrate is for Destination X, TNA Impact Wrestling will treat the X Division exactly the way they treated the X Division before Destination X.

***
Pat McNeill of Richmond, Va. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He's hoping this show is as good as last night's Ring of Honor show, or at least better than Smackdown. Drop him a line at patmcneill@live.com.


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