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TNA Impact Reax #1: "Not only was it boring, it went out of its way to be so sleasy, so cheap."
Apr 18, 2008 - 1:56:14 PM


Sam Robinson of Sykesville, Md. (8.5): Best: Kong vs. Roxxi, Worst: Kip James in a main event. This was a good episode of Impact, at least in my book. It took that more serious approach that everyone has been asking for, but they did it without sacrificing those little moments that make it TNA. I especially enjoyed the Super Eric bits throughout the night, as they were not meant to be taken seriously. It literally had me laughing out loud. I think what was best about it was Cornette damn near losing it and acknowledging the mistakes. At least that means someone does, whether it was in the script or not is another question. I liked Christian/Rhyno vs. 3D, but there was a defiant lack of selling from the earlier beat down. Though, not that I would want to sell a beat down from Kip James. The Knockouts match was short but good, as it got me excited to see Kong get taken to like that for the first time. I’m not sure what was up with Cornette calling the Knockouts spoiled out of nowhere, but it is nice to see him trying to take charge again. I don't want to see a Team 3D feud, as they are one of my favorite tag teams, but Devon could be a nice sympathetic face for taking Ray's BS for so long. I like Petey Williams with the X-Division Title, but I do not like him as Little Petey Pump. Ugh. Here's hoping for the old X-Division, but I won't be holding my breath.

Sam Benedict of Otego, N.Y. (7.0): Best Match: Kong vs. Roxxi, Worst Match: Kip & Storm & Roode vs. Sting & Booker & B.G. Nothing too terrible about last night's show (using the state-of-the-art Adamle-meter for "awfulness" measurement purposes). The Super Eric-mild mannered E.Y. storyline is quite silly, and it's too bad for the tag division to be bogged down in it, but watching Styles and Cornette become exasperated over it is entertaining. Actually, the Cornette vs. TNA writing team conflict is one of the better feuds they've got going. I'm a bit surprised that "Super Eric" is the best crimefighting persona they could come up with. Russo's not an avid Marvel Comics fan, apparently. And speaking of Comic Book Guy - Kip James, James Storm, & Robert Roode: Worst Faction Ever. And speaking of Comic Book Guy again, Bubba continues his progression towards that physique (shared by the average aging wrestling fan) with each passing week. I need to consult the laws of Heel Thermodynamics, because I've entirely lost the ability to distinguish between good and "go-away" heat when it comes to Team 3-D. But Bubba Ray continues to cut some effective heel promos, and it's interesting that there's more ECW continuity in TNA than in...ECW. He referred to Rhino's former "monster" glory days, hangin' and bangin' (with the Hulkster?) in South Philly. There was somewhat of an old school promotional technique in evidence last night as well, with various wrestlers incorporating the term "Sacrifice" into their interviews to build to the PPV of the same name. It had a bit of an awkward Oral Report quality to it (all right, wrestlers, use "Sacrifice" in a sentence) but at least TNA is trying to stick to a "theme." Good Lord (Regal), let WWE hire Scott Steiner back, if only for one glorious Shoot Promo of a night. Jay Lethal does a great job of blending "Macho" offense with his own, and he had a nice match with Devine before the Miniature Booty Daddy cashed in his luggage. Isn't the "Little Petey Pump" persona just another form of hazing? In his interview, Machismo invoked The Repo Man, and whenever he refers to '80s nostalgia, I fear that's going to be some TNA wrestler's new gimmick: "Himalayan Repossession" Sonjay Dutt, the heel bill collector (although that would be an I.R.S. reference, I suppose). Roxxi Leveaux's had good matches with Kong in her "Eric Young secret identity" of Nikki Roxx in SHIMMER, and they had another solid contest last night; they might want to build towards some of these showdowns, however, as Kong's steamrolling over the Knockouts like Goldberg jackhammering the entire WCW roster (Note to TNA: Have Kong squash Goldberg in a historic Intergender Match). I'm very much the Booker T mark, and I think he makes an effective face or heel with his intensity, even if Sting-Booker has a last-days-of-WCW feel. Kurt Angle's showing a nice sense of humor with his championship perks being revoked. I'd love to see a Shelly "The Machine" Levine storyline develop with him, his accomplishments being given short shrift only weeks after he's lost the title.

Shane McKinley of Danville, Calif. (0.0): Best Match: X Division Title Match. Worst Match: TNA personnel and microphones. Maybe it's a inside joke to Vince Russo. You know. People actually watch this show. Ha ha. Steiner's "Hamburger" promo made the new World Heavyweight Champion Joe look like a chump. Steiner could have brought up that Joe is inexperienced, but no, Joe is fat blah blah blah writers on this show are lazy blah blah blah. One of those promos where you wince and you go, "Please stop embrassing yourself, Joe, and wrestling." Does TNA even have a history? Doesn't seem like it, because the wrestlers are too busy talking about the good old days in WCW, WWE, and ECW. Guess they haven't been up to much in TNA. X Division Title match was good, even with good ol boy NASCAR announcer. Kudos to charity announcement. They sure do love them some Matt Morgan talking, even if the fans don't. He's like a bad penny that keeps popping up. Around this time I was bored. Joe doesn't mean much as champion if Nash is lurking behind his back. The TNA Tag Team Title Match bit. This is a joke, right? This really wasn't put on the air, right? People didn't sit behind a table and thought that this was the best idea, right? You could of have LAX win the belt by "cheap" means, have Cornette come in the ring and strip them off their titles, and there you go. Instead you promote Super Eric like his character was the second coming. Even the crowd showed that Super Eric's push wasn't funny anymore. Team 3D vs. Rhino/Cage. Around this point Impact fans have hit a few snags, but we're still rolling around. Solid match. Then Don West and Mike Tenay said that I should get on my hands and knees and thank all glorious TNA because Joe vs. Angle is next week and I don't have to pay. Don't know what else to say but this: Screw you, TNA. No matter the hype, no matter the wrestlers, any match can bomb. I guess by that "pay for quality" logic Impact is just putrid trash and that's why it's free. And I better buy Lockdown before that match so I can enjoy it more. Have some dignity, man. Now I won't buy any of your PPVs anymore by matter of principle. It doesn't matter if it's the greatest PPV of all time, I'm not dropping a penny to a company that thinks it's perfectly all right to treat fans like idiots. MVP of this horror was Jim Cornette. After experiencing yet another Super Eric bit, Cornette gives a Dairy Queen promo to the girls. Applause for Cornette's apology for "all of the stupidity that goes on in the show." This show would have gotten a higher score if Cornette just broke down and said that they wanted to strip Tomko/Styles of their belts but not have them lose any heat and that this storyline was putrid. That Super Eric segment in the ring: This is why they say wrestling fans are morons. Of why wrestling isn't respected. Of why this Impact is quite possibly the most horrific and mind-numbing wrestling show I have ever seen. James Storm, you're not bigger than Sting. Comedic Angle just killed his heel vibe in one fell swoop. Main events of Impacts often feel like a finish line, like you just walked across a minefield. The suvivors, badly beaten and need of some sort of sanity, waits for the usual interference/end blow up. Heck, since Angle vs. Christian in a Cage I haven't watched a main event yet because usually I'm disgusted with the show. Booker wants a piece of Sting for a reason that not even Booker knows. One of the worst wrestling shows I have ever watched. Not only was it boring, it went out of its way to be so sleasy, so cheap in its "pay us money and watch our product you trained monkeys." Just absolutely horrible. You should have shown the movie "Highlander" instead of this trash (And for the record I am a Mike Adalame supporter).

I refuse to speak ill of the lovely former Ariel, but "cucaracha," Salinas? Really?
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. Just to add a twist to this feature, include not just your hometown, but also your occupation (mechanic, lawyer, stay-at-home-dad, college student, etc.) so readers get a flavor for what everyone does as "day jobs." To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.


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MORE "Torch Feedback" ARTICLES
ECW TV Reax #1: "C.M. Punk scoring the pin in the main event made Smackdown seem more important than ECW"
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WWE Raw Reax #1: "DX playing buddy-buddy until the final Raw before Survivor Series is not going to entice viewers to buy the PPV"
WWE PPV Price Increase Reax #2: "I spent more money on Vince every year than anything else and he does not even care about me or the people like me!"
WWE PPV Price Increase Reax #1: Outrage expressed over WWE's latest PPV price raise - could the backlash cause WWE to second-guess decision?
TNA Impact Reax #3: "The build for the PPV matches somehow featured Hulk Hogan despite him yet to show up on TV"
TNA Impact Reax #2: "I'm tired of non-stop talking. This isn't a Broadway play; it's professional wrestling and the best stories are told in the ring"
Thursday Night TV Reax #1: "I feel anything TNA does right is inevitably drowned out by what they fail at"
ECW TV Reax #1: "William Regal has stepped up big time since coming to ECW and he deserves a World Title run"
WWE Raw Reax #2: "The major flaw of this show was the real lack of hype for Survivor Series"
WWE Raw Reax #1: "The main event commentary was hilarious with Triple H and HBK making fun of Vince, but DX has run its course..."
WWE Smackdown Reax #1: "Batista plays the perfect bully and Rey plays the perfect hero; this is a chance to make Batista the lead heel on Smackdown"
TNA Impact Reax #2: "Hogan, as great as he was, is 15 years beyond his prime and he signed with a company touting their so-called youth movement"

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