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The Specialists
THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL - WWE RAW 1/5: Thou shall not come off the top rope, Conflicted HBK, Evil Kelly Kelly, Chumpy Punky Jan 6, 2009 - 2:35:46 AM
According to last night's Adult Swim's "Robot Chicken" show, Joey Fatone of 'Nsync fame will win the Royal Rumble. Also, the event will be held down in Australia and there will be a kangaroo involved. Ah, Robot Chicken. Creating skits by using toys.
Just like how I created "A Common Tale" starring John Cena and Stephanie McMahon. You can check it out by clicking this link.
Geez. Any more plugging and I would be a Kennedy movie.
They aren't taking any chances in the opening segments of Raw. I liked the interaction with Jericho calling HBK a sellout. I also like how this feud has gotten away from "HBK is really broke so feel sorry for him" to more of "what is the conflicted HBK going to do?" As a fan I can involve myself emotionally.
But somebody talk to the music guy for the video packages. Geesh.
Pretty annoying that Rosa, Santino's "secret lover," holds up a sign that says "I heart Beth" the entire time. I know I should let it go, but I really detest planted signs in the crowd. This is sort of like the whole Robert Roode/Traci Brooks/Secret Stalker storyline. At least Melina jumps the rails and goes after her.
When I first heard about Bill Watts's WCW rule of "Thou shall not come off the top rope," I thought it was loony. But as I look back at all of the main WWE injuries of last year (Melina, Orton, Evan Bourne, etc.) all involved the top rope in some fashion. Melina could have snapped her right leg in this match in coming off the top rope. "I heart Melina" for making the women's division interesting again.
If you ever meet C.M. Punk, don't ever say "Good luck." Because he will reply back with "luck is for losers." I get the sense that C.M. Punk is never going to be a "WWE guy," like a John Cena or a Triple H. He's going to do things his way. But maybe I'm wrong. (credit to z.about.com for pic)
Regal gets DQed for holding onto the ref? I understand that this plays into the storyline that "this is Steph's show and Steph make the rules," but there could have been a much more digestible finish than this crud. It reminded me of when Joe got a little cut on his arm during his first blood match with Tomko. Couldn't Layla thrown a shoe or something? And didn't they already establish that Punk wants payback over the heel Regal with showing what happened to Punk last week?
Steph doesn't want the absurd idea of the Regal-Punk match to start up again. We got some more of HBK storyline to do.
The WWE word of the night: "audacity." Like, "WWE has the audacity to make the WrestleMania 25 package seem like a really good deal". Ok. Fuzzy math time. If the package costs $119, and WWE boldly proclaims that "you will save $15 if you order the package!" Uh-huh. Not really a steal. Call me crazy, but I want to wait till I know what the PPV card is before buying.
Maybe JoMizzy can plug Kennedy's movie (because obviously more plugs will follow) in mocking it and saying how it's not as cool as a Chuck Norris flick.
Something to build from during the Rey-Kofi vs. JoMizzy match. All four of these guys are not doing very much now. I can't really see Mike Knox facing against Rey Mysterio, but I do see Evan Bourne defending his buddy Rey's honor.
Kane says this: "I will do what makes me feels good." So you will be having sex with dead corpses again? I'm intrigued in the possibility of "sweet innocent Kelly" becoming a raving psycho and hooking up with Kane. "Oh no, Michael Cole. What happened to Kelly? How could she fall in love with a monster like Kane? And why am I not wearing any pants?" Kane and Kelly. It just rolls off the tongue. I say go for it.
Will HBK turn on Cena? Will JTG's pants fall down? Will the Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry feud ever end? Stay tuned.
Why does JBL has a smile on his face after coming out of the bathroom? "Whoowee! Do not go in there!" Oh wait, he came out of Steph's office.
Never one to disappoint, Raw shows yet another Kennedy's movie package. Hear some actors throw around empty phrases like "it's action-packed!" This whole movie for me looks too similar to the awful '80s Charlie Sheen film "Navy Seals." But, to be fair, let's wait and see how the DVD that will premiere tomorrow will fare (credit to ruthlessreviews.com for pic).
Aw, Sim Snuka gets kicked out of Legacy. Nice to see that Raw has some well-thought-out bits in their shows now.
Jericho informs Steph that Vince is coming back to Raw in two weeks. Can he feel his legs yet? How will Steph react? And will they be plugging the Kennedy movie still? (credit to i.a.cnn.net for pic)
I like this HBK storyline more because they did not really talk about the specifics about HBK's money problems. The focus more is on the "integrity" of HBK, and such character analysis and development usually make for good TV.
No positives or negatives this time around, since them some more college football to watch.
this fan stalker storyline is old! didn't mickie james do the same thing
with trish? and how about peyton banks with robert roode? end it. if you
are bringing in a new female wrestler, do it with the video promos like all
new wrestlers have to do to introduce themselves.
DP
06 Jan 2009, 06:19
^^
Yeah, what he said.
Eric Gall
06 Jan 2009, 08:05
I still don't get this column. Does "absurd" in this column mean, as
stated in Webster's dictionary "1: ridiculously unreasonable, unsound, or
incongruous <an absurd argument>" or is it just used to indicate the
level of how poor the show was? I know every specialist column is supposed
to have a catchy name/theme, but is "The Absurdity of it All" really
supposed to highlight absurd moments on the shows? It seems to me most of
your columns are merely reviews like everybody else.
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