NWA-TNA "An eye full of TNA" review
Pay-Per-View Show XIII
September 18, 2002
By Mike Sempervive, Torch Team Contributor

The show begins with Goldy interviewing Scott Hall who is "buzzin' about the tag team gauntlet for the gold." Not funny. Syxx-Pac (please tell him Sean Waltman is fine) arrives on the scene, is polite to Goldy, and the two run off to catch up on old times.

Mike Tenay and Don West announce the line-up for tonight. West hard sells the Gauntlet. West must purchase his clothing from a yard sale that Deion Sanders had.

Tape is shown of Brian Lawler waiting for Jeff Jarrett to arrive at the arena. Instead of the usual fight between the two, Jarrett says he knows Lawler's frustration has to do with his girlfriend April. Jarrett says he can trust him and that Lawler should be concerned with who "she's doing right now." Jarrett then comes out to the ring to call out who is under the Bullet mask. Instead of waiting he goes to the back where he is jumped by the masked man.

In the most recent worst kept secret in wrestling Road Dogg is revealed to be under the mask. After he makes short work of Jarrett, Road Dogg cuts a promo and claims he's had a change of heart in how his life has gone (house arrest would tend to do that to you) and since his momma named him Brain Gerrard James that B.G. James was a good enough name for him. Brian James would have been sufficient. To make this easy on me, he will stay as the Road Dogg.

Goldy interviews Sonny Siaki and Jorge, (who doesn't actually say anything -- just makes over-the-top facial expressions) Siaki says he's done some soul searching and that while he knows he's got a big future, tonight it's all about the team. (uh huh) He also strangely offers his support for Jerry Lynn in his match with Ron Killings saying that the X division guys must stick together. Hmmmm.

(1) A.J. Styles defeats Kid Kash in a outstanding match with a top rope Styles Clash. Before the match Styles shakily cuts a promo on saying that no matter what Siaki said, Jerry Lynn should be looking over his shoulder and he wants the X title back. It seemed to create absolutely no heat whatsoever. During the match Tenay puts over Lo-Ki winning the Zero-1 International Jr. title. The match was back and forth with both hitting all of their signature high spots is the and doing a very good job covering several nearly blown spots.

Goldy interviews Marcus Bagwell - who is back in the storyline that was cut when the cost cutting moves took place. He asks for another second chance. The sound you heard while this was going on was anyone who has had contact with the ex-Buff in the industry rolling their eyes and laughing. He says he just wants to go back to being Marcus Alexander Bagwell because that's how his career started. Well, as long as he doesn't want to go back to being the Handsome Stranger I guess that's fine. The former Road Dogg comes up and agrees that everybody deserves another chance (or 3rd or 50th) and asks Bagwell to be his partner. Bagwell agrees and the promo ends in an Alcoholics Anonymous style hug.

In what begins the biggest waste of space of the night, Borash interviews Dustin "Screech" Diamond who he introduces as scoring "the big win over Horshack" on Celebrity Boxing. Screech insults Borash (who does get off some money facial expressions) trying to incite a fight. Borash passes him off to Don West who talks Tiny the Timekeeper into a boxing match with the C-list celebrity.

Goldy interviews the Hot Shots who act like their 3-way match later on is an opportunity for "the younger teams" they'll be facing. Disco then comes in says he's looking for his partner Brian Lawler and that Goldy will never get him in bed. I've never really been sure what Disco brings to the table in front of the camera, and I still don't know.

(2) In the waste of space boxing match, Screech quickly "KO's" the timekeeper with a extremely weak punch off the top of his head. The best part of this was when referee Scott Armstrong said to "touch gloves, come out, and uh, go to your corners." Yeah, it was that good. So good in fact Screech's music came on as Armstrong was on 5 of the 10 count.

(3) The Hot Shots are then eliminated from the Gauntlet in a 3 way match involving Jimmy Rave & Derrick Wild and Hate Breed (C.M. Punk & Ace Steel) when Steel used an incredible Gory Special variation into a neckbreaker (the Twist of Kane) on Cassidy. If you remember the Yung Dragons-3 Count matches you've seen this. Solid but unspectacular.

Goldy interviews Chris Harris & Tennessee Cowboy James Storm. Storm gets off the line of the night when Harris asks if he knows how important the history of the NWA tag titles are when he retorts with "Well yeah, does Howdy Doody have wooden balls?" OK, it was a lot funnier than the way I presented it but anyway...

Scott Hall & Syxx come to the ring (with extra weak theme music) promo on how far they go back and how much they love the wrestling business. Syxx says "before we get fired from this place, and we probably will" he wants to go out in a "blaze of glory". Ron Harris & Brian Lee try to attack and are cleared out with an X-factor and an Outsider's Edge. Let's see a show of hands of anybody who wants to look at Harris or Lee on something they're paying money for every week.

Goldy questions Brian Lawler in the back, who is still fired up about the whereabouts of his girlfriend April, about whether he's ready for the Gauntlet match. Lawler is loud and pretty much inaudible.

NASCAR Busch driver Hermie Sadler is interviewed by Mike Tenay. The announcement is made that NWA-TNA will be the main sponsor for his car beginning October 12 in Charlotte. This makes it official that Jerry Jarrett has got himself a nice new financial backer. Even if it's only for one race, those cars cost a ton of money to sponser. Sadler then joins Tenay & West for the next match.

Miss TNA, Bruce cuts an in-ring promo, challenges an attractive plant in the crowd and squashes her. He continues to beat on her after the match until Sadler clears him from the ring. Bruce is (I can't believe I'm writing this) very entertaining in the role, and Sadler could one day have a future in the ring. Just not any time soon, although I think he's already more watchable than Steve McMichael ever was.

Goldy interviews Jerry Lynn in the back about his title match with Ron Killings. Lynn says he's never really gotten an opportunity in other promotions. (Really, you were the main focus of ECW and their franchise player on about 150 pay-per-views) Killings interrupts (does anyone ever get to finish a promo in this company) and tells him to stop talking the "honkey talk" and tells a calm Lynn he's not in the X division anymore.

(4) James Storm & Chris Harris won the Gauntlet for the Gold - featuring Royal Rumble type rules - to become NWA Tag Team Champions. The last members remaining have their partners brought back to wrestle under "NWA tag team rules" Not sure how that differs from any other tag match.

Brain Lawler started against James Storm. Followed by Joel Maximo and Derrick Wild. Lawler eliminates Wild, Joel, and Storm in consecutive fashion. Bagwell enters next and is followed by Cobain, Ace Steel, Jorge Estrada, Brain Lee and Syxx. Syxx blows in and attacks everyone in site eliminating Cobain & Steel, and bronco busting Lawler. C.M. Punk, Jimmy Rave, �& Ron Harris. Harris & Lee eliminate Estrada, Punk, Rave, & Bagwell in about 15 seconds. Syxx then eliminates Lawler. Road Dogg enters next followed by Jose Maximo - and for some unbelievable and incredibly stupid reason - he is immediately eliminated by Lee & Harris thus eliminating the SAT's from the Gauntlet. I should really turn this off now because I think I know where this is going. Lee & Harris then toss Syxx (now I'm sure I do) who was sucker punched by Lawler from outside the ring. Slash, Siaki, Disco, Scott Hall enter next. Hall eliminates Slash as Chris Harris rounds out the bunch. Siaki is tossed by Disco, who is then tossed by Hall. Down to the final four. And say this with me now, Brian Lee eliminates Scott Hall & Road Dogg to leave Lee & Harris to face Storm & Cowboy. Painful. Jarrett then runs down and attacks Road Dogg and drags him to the back. After a few minutes Storm then rolls up Lee who is completely in the ropes for the 3 count and the NWA titles. Tenay puts over Harris & Storm as still being undefeated in TNA.

Road Dogg is shown in the back with a blood soaked towel (well, it was supposed to make you think it was blood) pressed to the side of his head.

(5) Ron Killings defeated Jerry Lynn (X Champ) to retain the NWA Hvt. Title. About 3 minutes in Lynn is split open after Killings drops him face first on the announce table. Killings dominated most of the match with simple mat moves and pounding at the cut of Lynn (which was pouring). As the match progressed Styles, the Maximos, Kash, and the Elvises come down to ringside to show "support" for Lynn. Lynn then makes a comeback,and after he reverses a suplex into a great DDT. Styles interferes and gets the ref's attention. Lynn goes up to the top rope where he knocked off by Sonny Siaki leading to a bulldog and pin by Killings.

Don West then hard sells next week's show. He's interrupted by Road Dogg who is jumped by Killings and then Jarrett. Hall & Syxx then come out to help Dogg clear the ring as the show ends.

I'll probably be crucified for this, but, I thought the show was quite good. Everything moved swiftly for the most part. It would be incredibly easy to pick it apart (Lee, Harris, Bagwell, Screech, short work for the SAT's, the Gauntlet concept, Lawler's lame interviews, and what looks to be lamer storyline with his unidentified girlfriend - oops I'm picking) but I'll still take this over the recent Raws. Kash, Styles, Lynn, and Killings were good as always, I think the Tennessee Cowboy gimmick is very entertaining and so is Bruce for that matter who is making something out of nothing. This is truly an alternative. It may be an alternative you want to split cost wise amongst some friends, but for those people that are bitching about WWE, here is your chance.

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