By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA PPV REPORT
APRIL 16, 2010
LIVE FROM ST. LOUIS, MO.

-On the pre-show, Christy Hemme interviewed Team 3D. Brother Ray, who apparently sees something different in the mirror than we see looking at him, gave Christy his hotel key. His way to hit on her was to talk about how he fantasized about her when she was in Playboy. And, in the bizarro world that pro wrestling is, he forced a surprise kiss on her at the end of the interview and she acted like he had just given her a box of chocolates and a free massage gift certificate. Jeremy Borash said he was glad he wasn't doing that interview. I have a sneaking suspicion the interview wouldn't have gone exactly the same if he were holding the mic.

-Then Dixie Carter was shown standing at ringside between two members of the Air Force. One was her "Twitter buddy," apparently. She said it was great to be back in St. Louis after three years.

-The camera panned the crowd at the start and the production values, with the darkly lit partially filled arena, were reminiscent of WCW 20 years ago, which in some ways is quite appropriate.

-Mike Tenay and Taz introduced the show. Tenay announced that Douglas Williams was stuck in England due to travel restrictions from the volcano. Then, in classic TNA disregard for any logic, Tenay said he was stripped of the X Title. Why? Since when, when a wrestler completely out of his control can't make an event, is he stripped of his title? It's crap like that that just drives me mad watching this stuff. They just want to tell a certain story, and they don't care at all how they get there as long as they get there. Taz also said Syxx-Pac no-showed. Taz said it's "Syxx-Pac being Syxx-Pac."

1 -- ROB VAN DAM vs. JAMES STORM

RVD kicked the cage door into Storm as he entered the cage. RVD beat up Storm at ringside. He dropped him over the guard rail and then leaped off the ring apron with a legdrop. The match didn't officially begin until they actually entered the cage after a few minutes at ringside. Storm took control in the cage. RVD bled early from his forehead. Storm scored near falls. RVD made a comeback at 7:00. The crowd chanted "RVD" after a near fall after a moonsault. Storm came back by spitting beer in RVD's face. That led to a near fall. He set up a Last Call superkick, but RVD ducked it and then hit a drop spin wheel kick. He followed up with the Five-Star Frog Splash for the win.

WINNER: Rob Van Dam in 7:00.

STAR RATING (**): Solid opening match. All-action. Usually the heels win the "coin toss" to get the advantage in progressive-entrance cage matches, but here the babyfaces got the advantage due to RVD's win.

-Hemme interviewed Hogan who said Beer Money aren't even acting like wrestlers, hitting people with beer bottle. He said hitting people with a car is also out of line and "doesn't work." He said his team is in the back regrouping, and that ought to stand for something. He said they're going to tear down the house and leave their mark. He said the fact that RVD beat Storm, "we've got a little momentum; there's a ray of light coming through that dark cloud." He said Flair is "on his game," buying drinks for everyone at the bar the other night. He said if Flair destroys Team Hogan, there's nothing left for him or his guys so he might as well leave TNA. Hemme said nobody's seen Eric BIschoff all day. He said he thought Bischoff might be a help when he brought him with him to TNA, but apparently he's going to do what he's going to do. He said he's done fighting it and it's out of his hands. Tenay said those were "awful interesting comments." He meant to say "awfully interesting comments." There's quite a difference there.

2 -- HOMICIDE vs. BRIAN KENDRICK vs. ALEX SHELLEY vs. CHRIS SABIN -- Xscape Match

Tenay said this is a four-way match, winner is the first to escape the cage. The winner joins Shannon Moore and Kazarian in the X Title match. Kendrick bled from his forehead early. Kendrick ran the ropes back and forth several times as Homicide held Sabin in a camel clutch. Kendrick then stopped and slapped Sabin. Tenay announced that Hogan had just informed Scott Hall that since Syxx no-showed, he would have to find himself a partner or go into the match two-on-one. The Guns worked together and got in some offense. At 5:00 Homicide tricked Kendrick into thinking he was going to work with him against the Guns, but then he snuck out of the cage.

WINNER: Homicide in 5:00.

STAR RATING (*): Disappointingly short, but good action as you'd expect with these four while it lasted.

3 -- KEVIN NASH vs. ERIC YOUNG

A video package aired before the match recapping this feud. Young took Nash down in the opening seconds with punches. Nash short Young a dirty look. Young gave Nash a dropkick off the second rope. Then, with Nash standing on the ring apron against the cage, Young dove into him with a bodyblock. Once the ref's back was turned briefly, Nash used a low blow to stop Young's momentum. Nash went on sustained offense, bloodied Young's forehead (three matches in a row for that), and finished him with a Jackknife for the win. The ref called for help from the back because Young was still KO'd minute later. Young was helped to the back by two referees.

WINNER: Nash in 5:00.

-Nash said Hall isn't wrestling Team 3D alone. He said he is is partner. He told 3D that tonight their asses if theirs. The camera zoomed in on a sign that said "The Band: Est. 1847." What's next? Focusing on a sign that says, "Eric Young: Prelim Guy Masquerading as Main Eventer" or "TNA Booking: Don't Even Try to Make Sense of It."

4 -- TARA & ANGELINA LOVE vs. THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE (Madison Rayne & Velvet Sky w/Lacey Von Erich) -- Singles and Tag Titles at Stake

The camera focused on a fan sign that said: "She's Tara and I'm Rising." Good to know. Taz said Tara is a great grappler and striker. Tara dominated for several minutes, but missed with a moonsault when Sky moved. Sky hot-tagged Rayne. Love also tagged in. Von Erich opened the cage and KO'd Tara with a title belt. Rayne scored the pin to become the new Knockouts Champion.

WINNER: Madison Rayne to capture the Knockouts Title.

STAR RATING (*1/2): They didn't make a big deal out of Von Erich easily opening the cage door. Isn't the point of the cage to keep the official wrestlers inside and unofficial wrestlers outside? Again, it's a case of wanting to get somewhere storyline-wise and not caring at all how they get there, trampling on the value of special stips along the way if necessary.

-Afterward Tara attacked Love. Taz said, "You gotta be kidding me!" Tenay said, "What's going on here?" The crowd booed Tara, who was having a meltdown as a result of losing her chance at her title.

-Borash interviewed Team Flair. Flair let out several "whoos." Then he looked at Borash and said, "You really annoy me." Flair's delivery as funny. Borash didn't ruin it by overreacting, either. He had a subtle reaction that was just right. It was not a flatterng image of James Storm to the left of Flair as the angle made his chest look like a topless woman except for the chest hair. Styles cut a good "Heel 101" promo. The delivery was just fine, but it felt a little cliched, all the way to the ending line: "There are two things you can do about it - nothing and like it." He still just seems like a square peg in a round hole doing this Junior Nature Boy act.

5 -- KAZARIAN vs. SHANNON MOORE vs. HOMICIDE -- X Title Match

Taz spoke out, saying it's not cool that they stripped Douglas Williams of the X Title. It's nice that somebody noticed how ridiculous that decision was. Tenay said Williams surely agrees, finding a way to not take a side on Taz's argument. Moore and Kaz took turns ramming the back of Homicide's head into the cage wall. They double-teamed Homicide with a series of flying moves. Taz said it was like a target practice. Moore didn't let Kaz score the pin, though. Kaz yanked Moore off of his pin attempt a minute later. Homicide made a comeback at 4:00. Taz said he just "opened a can whoop ass." He chuckled and said he couldn't resist. At 6:00 Kaz and Moore fought each other on the top rope. Moore knocked Kaz down. He then surprised Homicide with a springboard moonsault for a two count. Taz said since the X Title is with Williams in Europe, the winner won't even get the actual belt awarded to him. That may be a first for TNA. It's like when Stan Hansen walked out on the AWA as champion and didn't give back the belt, so Nick Bockwinkel was awarded the title and given a different (older) version of the AWA Title instead. At 8:00 Homicide went for the Gringos Killer, but Kaz broke it up and dropped Homicide on his head with is finisher for the win.

WINNER: Kaz in 8:00 to win the X Title.

STAR RATING (***)

-Hemme interviewed "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero. He threw a bunch of one-liners at A.J. Styles. He's carrying himself like he believes what he's saying and not just going through the motions, which is very good (and necessary for a gimmick like this). He said everything he has achieved in this lifetime has led to this moment. This is a guy who was close to quitting the business back when he felt stuck in WWE's developmental system, but Al Snow talked him into sticking it out and believing his chance would come.

6 -- TEAM 3D vs. SCOTT HALL & KEVIN NASH

Ray said before the match that the fans didn't come to see them wrestle, they came to see them fight. Uh, fans haven't come to see Team 3D wrestle ever. They met Nash and Hall on the stage and then brawled to ringside. Hall and Nash managed to lock themselves in the cage with Devon as Ray paced at ringside. He's not climbing the cage anytime soon. Nash held the cage door closed. Ray grabbed a chair and was supposed to smash Nash's hand with it, but he missed by about three feet. Nash sold it like the chair hit his fingers. Ray entered the cage. I remember the days when there were maybe two cage matches per year and a big deal was made of that moment when it was just the two wrestlers in the cage and the referee and then the cage door was locked. It gave you chills the moment that cage door was locked. Ray and Devon took control. They did the diving headbutt spot. The Devon grabbed a table, which the crowd popped for. They set it up and put Hall through it, then scored the pin.

WINNERS: Team 3D in 7:00.

STAR RATING (*1/2): The crowd ate it up.

7 -- MR. ANDERSON vs. KURT ANGLE

A video package aired before the match recapping the feud. Then Mr. Anderson did his mic gimmick from the stage. He caressed the mic in such a way that Taz suggested maybe Mr. Anderson should give his hotel room key to the microphone. Good line. Anderson wore his t-shirt that says: "Professional Wrestling is Real." Next up is: "The Hogan & Bischoff Regime Took TNA To A Whole New Level" and "TNA: Greatest Brand Name Ever." Anderson opened the match with the key around his neck on a chain. Wait, he wrestled a ladder match to earn a key which he treated flippantly in a way where Angle could just yank it away from him should he get control early in the match? Anderson took Angle down and tried to escape the cage. Angle easily dropped him before he could unlock the door. Anderson took over a minute later. By 2:00 Angle bled from the forehead. A few minutes later Angle was bleeding very heavily. Anderson also began bleeding from a smaller cut. Anderson used the chain for the key as a weapon throughout the battle. Angle made a comeback at 9:00 with a series of clotheslines and then a released belly-to-belly suplex. Anderson blocked an Angle slam and then went for Mic Check. Angle elbowed out of it and went into a series of unreleased German suplexes. Angle looked at the cage door, but chose to apply an ankle lock instead of leaving the cage. Anderson kicked out of the move despite taking that series of German suplexes seconds earlier. He then hit the Mic Check. Angle stopped Anderson from leaving the cage and then he re-locked the cage door, gave Anderson the finger, and threw the key into the crowd. Anderson should have hidden the key like it was a hidden immunity idol. Angle back suplexed Anderson off the top rope which the announcers did a great job selling as a huge deal. The crowd chanted, "This is awesome!" Angle followed up with a moonsault off the top of the cage. The crowd went nuts. Tenay called it one of the most insane moves in the history of pro wrestling. Angle unlocked the cage door. Taz said, "I guess there's another key." Andle then was about to step to the floor. Anderson, making a Tommy Dreamer Comeback, sat up and gave Angle two middle fingers. That lured Angle back into the cage. Anderson gave Angle a low-blow and a mic check. Anderson crawled out of the cage door, but before he could touch the floor, Angle yanked him back into the ring by his ankles and applied an anklelock. Anderson tapped out, but the ref couldn't stop the match as the match would only end when a wrestler hit the floor. Anderson then powered out and sent Angle into the side of the cage. Anderson again tried to escape the cage, but Angle choked him from behind with the warrior medal chain. Angle then spit on Anderson, stomped on his crotch, and walked out of the ring. Tenay said, "There's the exclamation mark." Angle thanked the fans afterward and said he's going to take some time away and regroup. He said when he comes back he'll have only one goal in mind - winning the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. "It's real. Oh, it's damn real!"

WINNER: Angle in 21:00.

STAR RATING (****1/4): Okay, I'm not crazy about a top of the cage moonsault not being the ending of the match, especially since Anderson didn't sell it for long. That said, I'm also a fan of having a match where you think you're seeing the finish and it's not and then you think it's over again and it's not, and that repeats itself. This started off seeming to be a bloodfest brawl like so much else on this show, but by the end it was a stellar showcase cage match that should be remembered at the end of the year.

8 -- A.J. STYLES (w/Ric Flair) vs. "THE POPE" D'ANGELO DINERO -- TNA World Hvt. Title Match

The ref Dave Hebner and Flair got into a shoving match during ring intros whih led to the ref ordering Flair to the back. Back and forth action througout the opening minutes with the crowd starting chants for both men and giving them a "big match" reception. Styles scored a near fall with a Pele kick. Styles hit a springboard flip splash for another near fall at 10:00. Styles dove off the top of of the cage at 13:00, but Pope moved and Styles landed flat on the mat. Pope rolled up Styles for a believable near fall that popped the crowd. He scored another near fall seconds later. Styles avoided a running double knee in the corner and then reached through the hole in the cage for the camera lens and grabbed a pen. He then stabbed Pope in the eye with the pen and threw the pen into the crowd. Styles then hit a spinning clothslines and a Styles Clash for the win.

WINNER: Styles in 14:00.

STAR RATING (***1/4): Good match. It felt perhaps slightly rushed at the end so they had time for the main event as these two easily could have kept the crowd involved for another ten minutes at that pace.

-Backstage Bischoff arrived. He looked perturbed as Borash asked where he had been. They showed Tenay and Taz at ringside. Taz said Bischoff can't trusted because he's used to be "the boss," but now he's just "a boss." "Eric can be a little slimy, man," he said. "You gotta watch yourself."

9 -- TEAM HOGAN vs. TEAM FLAIR -- Lethal Lockdown

Abyss opened against Roode. Taz said Abyss was limping because he suffered a hairline fracture from being hit by the car. Tenay noted the obvious, which is why would Abyss start the match if he were injured. He said as captain he decided to step up and not make excuses. With Roode on offense against Abyss at 5:00, RVD entered. The crowd didn't react to him like he was a special superstar. RVD went on a flurry against Roode including hitting Rolling Thunder. Desmond Wolfe entered next, then Jeff Jarrett, then James Storm. Storm limped to the ring and carried a beer bottle with him. Jeff Hardy was the last babyface to enter. A lot of people won and lost bets on this night, picking who'd be the first to no-show between Syxx and Hardy. Wait, not so fast. Hardy didn't come out. They cut backstage and Sting stood over Hardy with a baseball bat in his hand. They cut back to the ring where RVD was a bloody mess. If you were theorizing that Sting didn't really hit Hardy and he was actually in on it with Hardy and going to turn on Team Flair, Sting entered the ring and hit RVD and Jarrett with the baseball bat. Plus, that'd be mean to have Hardy leave his teammates for two extra minutes of a beat down just for the "surprise" of Sting being on their side.

Sting pointed toward the rafters and the roof to the cage lowered with weapons dangling from it. Cookie sheets, trash cans, and other apparatus was used. Every stood around hitting each other with weapons. This is where the two ring format worked well for War Games, as one ring could feature something scene-stealing with the cluster of other wrestlers getting in the way. Storm charged at Jarrett and knocked him off the ring apron and through the cage door. Abyss poured the thumb tacks onto the mat and set up Sting for a chokeslam on them. Wolfe attempted a save, but basically bounced off of Abyss's back. Storm hit Abyss with a beer bottle, and that dropped Abyss. Hardy's music then played. Hardy attacked Roode and Storm with a kendo stick. Jarrett, meanwhile, nailed Wolfe with a guitar. RVD hit the Five-Star Frog Splash. Sting then hit Abyss with two clotheslines. On a third attempt, Abyss chokeslammed Sting onto the tacks.

Hardy climbed to the top of the cage. He called Storm and Roode up there, too. They went after him. hardy met them with a trash can lid and a kendo stick. Beer Money soon took over on Hardy with the two-on-one advantage. They set up a table. Hardy recovered and broke the kendo stick over Storm's back. He gave Roode a Twist of Fate on the roof. He set Storm on the table and then set up a ladder and climbed it. Everyone was worried at this point. Taz told him to be careful. Tenay said it was too much. Hardy leaped off and splashed Roode through the table. The crowd jumped for joy and chanted, "TNA! TNA!" They showed a woman tearing up with emotion.

Flair's music then played as everyone was lying knocked out in the ring and on the roof. Flair jogged to the ring and began stomping away at Abyss. He tried to pull the Hogan Hall of Fame ring off of Abyss's finger. That drew Hogan to the ring. Hogan entered the ring, pointed at Flair, and cornered him with a baseball bat. Bischoff then ran to the ring. He walked up to Hogan and told him to back off. Hogan asked, "What are you doing here?" Bischoff stepped between them. The crowd cheered in anticipation of Bischoff getting hit. Hogan put his finger in Bischoff's face. Bischoff took the bat from Hogan. Bischoff then pulled out a set of brass knuckles. He held it up and smiled. He pretended to toss it to Flair, but instead tossed them to Hogan. Flair charged at Hogan, but Hogan KO'd him with the knuckles. Bischoff applauded as Hogan beat up Flair. Flair bled from the forehead and bumped on the tacks. Hogan then threw Flair into the side of the cage again and again. Flair shook the top rope Ultimate Warrior-style (or is it Batista-style). Hogan gave him a final punch and Flair bumped onto the tacks. He stood up with a dozen tacks stuck to his back. Hogan hit Flair with a trash can. Abyss struggled to his feet and gave Wolfe the Black Hole Slam for the win.

WINNERS: Team Hogan in 30:00.

STAR RATING (**3/4): Obviously difficult to rate as it was a clustmess most of the time, yet it was a clustermess spectacle by design, so in that sense it succeeded. The spot with Hardy was unreal and truly dangerous given how he could have toppled over, but then again construction workers walk girders 40 stories in the air for their jobs. The Bischoff babyface turn, such as it seemed, is intriguing. Is TNA going to have people representing the company actually be likable so you want to support the company? Wolfe seemed like the designated jobber throughout the match the way he was treated. Jarrett was nearly invisible relative to how much Abyss, Beer Money, Hardy, Hogan, and Flair especially stood out.

We suggest these recent related articles...

KELLER’S WWE MSG SPECIAL REPORT 10/3: Lesnar vs. Big Show, Cena vs. Seth in a cage, Jericho vs. Owens in an IC Title match, Dudleys vs. New Day for tag titles

McNEILL's Late Night Deadblog - WWE Night of Champions: Bucklebombs, Light-up Jackets, Poachers, IcoPro, Eddie, more!

KELLER’S WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS PPV REPORT 9/20: Ongoing “virtual time” coverage of event including Sting vs. Seth, Cena vs. Seth, Ryback vs. Owens, mystery partner with Reigns & Ambrose, Divas Title, Tag Title, more