By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE ROYAL RUMBLE PPV REPORT
JANUARY 31, 2010
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW

-Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler introduced the show.

1 -- CHRISTIAN vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON (w/William Regal) -- ECW Hvt. Title match

The announcers noted that Christian is the longest-running ECW Champion ever. Grisham called Jackson a "destruction machine." Jackson dominated Christian early with his power. Christian came back at 3:00 and stepped on Jackson while he was chest-first over the middle rope. When he climbed the ropes, Jackson yanked him hard to the mat. Christian rolled to ringside. Regal moved in, so the ref ordered Regal to go to the back. The crowd popped. At 9:00 Christian hit a missile dropkick for a two count. Jackson blocked a Kill Switch attempt, but Christian remained in control. He climbed to the top rope and leaped off with a diving headbutt. Jackson moved and then nailed Christian with a clothesline for a believable near fall. Striker brought up that the last time they were in this town, Mr. McMahon won the ECW Title. Cole said he was trying to forget that time in history. Christian applied a sleeper at 11:00, but Jackson lifted Christian and rammed him back-first into the corner twice. Christian slipped out of a third attempt and hit the Kill Switch for the win.

WINNER: Christian in 12:00 to retain the ECW Title.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good opener.

-Cryme Tyme complained to Teddy Long and Tiffany backstage that only one of them can be in the Rumble. They called Great Khali and Ranjin Singh into the room. They offered to buy his entry into the Rumble in exchange for a kiss from Tiffany. Tiffany wasn't in on it. Singh did some joke about "keeping it real" and watching "Family Matters." Cole laughed. Long told Cryme Tyme that they look like fools with their pants on the ground. Long and Tiffany sang the song from "American Idol" tryouts. The Miz walked in and said they all need a lesson in pop culture. He said in five years no one will remember what they're doing, so they might as well be singing "who let the dog out." Miz said he'll be remembered for winning his first-ever Rumble. Long said there's no guest host making rules, he does, so he's going to make him defend his U.S. Title against MVP before the Rumble. Miz wasn't happy.

-Cody Rhodes walked up to Randy Orton and said what he told them Monday sunk in with him, but it hasn't sunk in with Ted DiBiase. Cody said the movie went to Ted's head and all he's talking about is winning the Rumble and facing Orton for the title at WrestleMania.

2 -- THE MIZ vs. MVP -- U.S. Title Match

Striker talked about MVP being at a recent red carpet event with Terry Funk, Roddy Piper, and Rick Steamboat, all former U.S. Champions. He said the U.S. Title means everything to MVP. He said Miz was at the same event and refused to shake hands with the former champions. Lawler made a wisecrack about MVP going out with "Sharon Shepherd." Striker and Cole corrected him. Lawler said he knows Sherri Shepherd's name, so it was just a mistake. Striker said he doesn't like MVP, but he appreciates that he spends a lot of time talking to youth groups. Lawler said he'd shake MVP's hand, but he's count his fingers afterward. "What does that mean?" asked Striker, representing all of us. After some back and forth fighting at ringside, Miz took over and settled into a chinlock at 3:00. MVP made a comeback and went into his finishing routine, but Miz kicked out at two after a boot to the face. At 5:00 they traded near falls. Miz surprised MVP with a small package for the win. Miz gloated in MVP's face, so MVP kicked him in the gut and gave him a Playmaker. The crowd actually booed.

WINNER: The Miz in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4

-Chris Jericho walked up to Big Show backstage. Jericho said he feels sorry for Show because he has to team with Miz now. He said he's self-centered and using him for his own personal agenda, not realizing the irony. Show called him on it. Jericho said, "Enough of this weirdness." He said he made him into a Giant Destroyer! Show said he already was one. Jericho said if it came down to those three in the Rumble, he'll show him where his true loyalties lie. Show said it's awkward, but he'll just say it. If it comes down to those three, he'll toss him and Miz out. R-Truth walked up to Jericho and said if Show doesn't throw him out, he will. Jericho said he'd have to go through Show first, but when he turned around, Show had already walked away. Truth said it'll be every man for himself. Jericho said he's headed to the main event of WrestleMania.

-Ted DiBiase told Randy Orton backstage the same story on Cody that Cody told on Ted. He said that Cody is acting weird and keeps talking about winning the Rumble and going on to face Sheamus for the WWE Title at WrestleMania. Orton said he's seconds away from beating Sheamus and he doesn't want either of them trying to help him.

-A video hyped William Shatner guest hosting Raw on Monday night.

3 -- SHEAMUS vs. RANDY ORTON -- WWE Title Match

Cole said it seems like things have been easy for Sheamus since bursting on the scene in WWE. Striker said he had achieved what he's done on his own terms, but now he has to face Orton. Lawler wondered which side the rest of the WWE Superstars are coming down on. Striker said the Superstars look at Sheamus's rapid rise as a sign that anything can happen, but the more "distinguished" Superstars respect what Orton has done. An early chant of "Randy, Randy" broke out. Slow build in the first ten minutes with each taking a turn on methodical offense. The crowd got pretty quiet. Sheamus set up his finisher, but Orton escaped and kicked Sheamus out of the ring. He hit a DDT off the middle rope for a two count at 11:00. Orton sold an injured arm as Sheamus rammed it into the ringpost. Cody Rhodes jumped the security railing and attacked Sheamus. Orton hit an RKO and then made the cover. The ref called for the bell and told a very, very, very tan Justin Roberts that Orton was DQ'd for Cody's interference.

WINNER: Sheamus via DQ in 12:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Forgettable match. Not a star-making, or star-affirming performance for Sheamus.

-Orton was not the least bit pleased. Cody looked on nervously from ringside, then decided to jump onto the ring apron to explain himself. The crowd chanted, "RKO, RKO." When Orton turns babyface, that's going to be a huge chant regularly. Orton punched Cody and then yelled at him, "You screwed everything up!" DiBiase ran out and pulled Orton off of Cody. Orton then punched DiBiase. Sheamus then caught Orton with a jump thrust kick to the face. The crowd booed.

-The "Please Do Not Try This At Home" video aired.

4 - MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. MICKIE JAMES -- WWE Divas Title Match

A long video package aired recapping this feud before the match. McCool did some mic work before the match, telling fans to listen to her. She said "Piggy James is nowhere to be seen." She said she can't hide because she's so big. She pointed to "another fat person" in the crowd and said she must know where she is. That's kind of funny, actually. "Where oh where has my little piggy gone?" sang McCool. She said it's a shame she's forfeiting. She said Layla was baking a cake all day long to share with Mickie after the match. Then out came Layla dressed up as Mickie, but it was a sumo suit with tight fitting jeans and a Mickie wig. McCool asked if she gained weight since last week. Mickie's music then played and the crowd popped. Mickie tackled Layla in the sumo suit. Mickie caught McCool with an immediate Implant DDT for the win. Several babyface Divas came out with a big cake and dumped it onto McCool and Layla. It created quite a mess, and McCool and Layla sold it well.

WINNER: Mickie James in 20 seconds to capture the Divas Title.

STAR RATING: n/a -- Satisfying finish for the match given the tone of the feud. Usually not delivering a match is worthy of criticism, but the entirety of the mic work and post-match spectacle made up for it - as long as they continue with the feud and deliver more on Smackdown (and house shows) in coming weeks.

-A video aired hyping the Elimination Chamber PPV.

5 -- UNDERTAKER vs. REY MYSTERIO

A long video package recapped this feud. Rey came out first, then Undertaker. During ring intros, Rey got some boos. The match began half way into the three hour timeframe for the PPV. Striker tried to sell Rey's hope by saying Taker has struggled against smaller quicker opponents in the past such as Shawn Michaels. Taker overpowered Rey in the opening seconds, tossing Rey over the top rope easily. Rey came back and out-quicked Taker for a minute. At ringside Taker took Rey down with a boot to the face. When he charged with another kick, Rey moved, and Taker's leg landed around the ringpost area. Rey slidekicked Taker's leg into the ringpost. Rey went for a huracanrana off the ring apron, but Taker caught him and went for a Last Ride. Rey escaped and springboarded with a Asai moonsault onto Taker on the floor at 5:00. Taker had a bloody nose at this point. Taker sidestepped a slidekick and threw Rey hard into the ringside barrier. The crowd seemed split throughout. Taker went on methodical offense, continuing to wipe blood from his nose. Rey escaped a Last Ride attempt and made a comeback, hitting two straight 619s. "That's 12-2-18," said Striker. Taker, though, caught Rey mid-air and hit the Last Ride for the clean win.

WINNER: Undertaker in 10:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good match. This PPV is all about anticipating the Rumble, so these mid-level decent-to-good matches and angles are enough.

-Backstage Kane told Michaels his obsession with his brother is unhealthy. When he left, Triple H walked up to him and wished him luck. Michaels apologized to Triple H for being selfish last week. He said if he doesn't win, he hopes it's him. The shook hands. Michaels held onto the handshake and told Hunter that his rematch against Taker is meant to be. Hunter said he knows it is, which is how he knows he'll find another way.

-A WrestleMania 26 video aired. Why aren't they making a big deal out of it being the 25th Anniversary of the first WrestleMania? (Because they messed up and called last year's the 25th Anniversary.)

-They showed Cole, Striker, and Lawler at ringside talking about the history and prestige of the Royal Rumble. Cole threw to the video package on the Rumble's history.

6 -- THE 30-MAN ROYAL RUMBLE

FIRST FIVE ENTRANTS (1-5)

Dolph Zigger (1) was the first out. Then Evan Bourne (2). Striker said everyone makes a big deal out of being no. 1, but no. 2 has the exact same uphill battle. The bell rang at 9:50 p.m. Striker said he's not sure Bourne's high-flying style lends itself to Royal Rumble success. C.M. Punk (3) came out next with both Bourne and Ziggler slowed from beating each other up. Punk tossed Bourne [1] out, then Ziggler [2] quickly. Punk did some mic work as the clock counted down the next entrant. Out came J.T.G. (4). Punk quickly eliminated J.T.G. [3] and then did more mic work. They are building anticipation for someone eliminating the loud-mouth preachy Punk. Next out was The Great Khali (5). Punk tried to get Khali to let him save him. Khali chopped him and then squeezed his head.

SECOND FIVE ENTRANTS (6-10)

Next out was surprise entrant Beth Phoenix (6). Cole said she's just the second woman in Rumble history. He didn't say who was first. Khali lifted her over the top rope and told her to leave. Phoenix instead kissed him and managed in the process to pull him over the top rope to the floor [4]. Punk went after Phoenix. He gave her his Go To Sleep. Zach Ryder (7) was in next. Punk easily tossed Phoenix [5]. Punk told Ryder he has potential. He asked him to join him, but then gave him a cheap shot with the mic and stomped away at him. Punk then tossed out Ryder [6] easily. Punk did more mic work, asking who was next. He said he's better than whoever is next. He said he's better than everyone in the building. Triple H (8) entered. Punk's expression changed to something a little less confident. Hunter dominated Punk as soon as he entered the ring. Drew McIntrye (9) came out next. He took his time getting to the ring. Hunter lost patience and turned his back and called him into the ring. Punk went after Hunter from behind and set up the GTS. Hunter blocked it and eliminated Punk [7] at 12:00. Ted DiBiase (10) came out next, and he was met with a Triple H clothesline. It was just DiBiase, McIntrye, and Hunter at this point.

THIRD FIVE ENTRANTS (11-15)

John Morrison (11) entered next. The ring got a little busier, with four at once for the first time in the match. Morrison hit a harmless looking Starship pain on McIntrye, having almost no contact upon landing. Out next was Kane (12). He caught Triple H with a boot to the face. Same to Morrison. As Kane was about to eliminate DiBiase, Cody Rhodes (13) ran out and stopped him. Striker wondered aloud how WrestleMania would look with an emerging star such as Rhodes or DiBiase in the main event. Hunter tossed Rhodes over the top rope, but he landed on the apron and rolled back in. Next out was MVP (14). Miz hit MVP from behind with his U.S. Title belt before MVP got past the entrance stage. Striker said Miz cost MVP his chance at headlining WrestleMania. Carlito (15) came out next. Cole said it was his fifth Rumble appearance. Hunter, Rhodes, DiBiase, Morrison, Carlito, McIntrye, and Kane were all in the ring at this stage. Carlito gave Hunter a Back Stabber. He did the same to McIntrye and DiBiase.

NEXT FIVE ENTRANTS (16-20)

Next out was The Miz (16). He ran to the ring immediately gave Carlito the Skull Crushing Finale. MVP entered the ring next and went right after Miz. He clotheslined Miz [8] over the top rope to the floor, but Miz [9] also eliminated himself in the process. Rhodes and DiBiase tried to eliminate Hunter, but couldn't. Hunter threw Carlito over the top, but Carlito landed on the ring apron. Next out was Matt Hardy (17). Striker called him the "heart and soul of Friday Night Smackdown." Hardy climbed to the top rope, but Kane knocked Hardy [10] off the rope to the floor. Hunter then eliminated Kane [11] quickly from behind. Triple H gave Rhodes a spinebuster. He followed up with several more to others, then played to the crowd. He set up Rhodes for a Pedigree, but McIntrye clipped his knee to break it up. As Carlito and McIntrye double-teamed Hunter, out came Shawn Michaels (18). Michaels backdropped a charging Carlito [12] over the top rope to the floor. Striker said other than Steve Austin and Undertaker, no one has eliminated more people from the Rumble. Michaels tossed Rhodes [13] next, and then DiBiase [14]. Too bad to see them eliminated somewhat unceremoniously. Morrison went for a kick against Michaels, but Michaels ducked and then waved his finger at him and threw Morrison [15] over the top to the floor. Hunter and Michaels eliminated McIntrye [16] together with a clothesline. That left just Michaels and Hunter. Next out was John Cena (19). The crowd popped. Cole said he was about to spoil the DX party. Cena dropped Hunter onto Michaels. It looked like Hunter's ankle landed badly for a second there, but he was okay. Cena did his "You Can't See Me" routine, dropping chops onto both Hunter and Michaels at once. Cena went for an Attitude Adjustment on Michaels, but Hunter saved him. He then hit a Pedigree on Cena. Michaels superkicked Hunter [17] over the top rope. "Can you believe what we just saw?" asked Lawler. Next out was Shelton Benjamin (20). Shelton got in offense against both Michaels and Cena. Cena, though, caught Shelton [18] and dropped him over the top rope to the floor. Boos could be heard. Michaels went after Cena, but both men seemed somewhat spent. Michaels back suplexed Cena as the crowd counted down to the next entrant.

NEXT FIVE ENTRANTS (21-25)

Out came Yoshi Tatsu (21). Cena tried to clothesline Tatsu over the top rope. He didn't have the right leverage, so Cena just lifted him over and dumped Tatsu [19] to the floor. The Big Show (22) came out next at 32:00. Show immediately tried to dump Michaels over the top, but Cena held onto Show's leg as Michaels held on. Cena ended up with Michaels in position for an Att-Adj. He dumped Michaels over the top, but Michaels held onto the top rope. Michaels tried to head scissors Show to the floor, but Show yanked Michaels back into the ring and threw him hard to the mat. Next out was Mark Henry (23). Henry tried to bodyslam Show. Show blocked it. Cena went after Show with a flying shoulder. Henry headbutted Show. Cena shouldered Show again. Henry then bodyslammed Show. Cena then lifted Henry for an Att-Adj, but he fell forward and Henry landed on him. Chris Masters (24) was out next. Michaels went right after him. Masters whipped Michaels, who flipped into the corner. Masters attempted a Masterlock on Show, but Show flipped him over him to the floor, so Masters [20] was eliminated. As Henry and Show struggled to eliminate each other, Michaels tried to push them. It was down to just Michaels, Cena, Henry, and Show at this point. R-Truth (25) came out next and finished shoving Henry [21] and Show [22] over the top. It was down to Michaels, Cena, and Truth.

FINAL FIVE ENTRANTS (26-30)

Jack Swagger (26) came out next. He went to work on al three in the ring with bodyslams. He did his celebration dance to boos from the crowd. Swagger clotheslined Michaels, who went over the top but again landed on the apron, drawing oohs and ahhs. Kofi Kingston (27) was out next. It took less than one second for Cole to say "controlled frenzy." Striker said no. 27 is the most successful number to draw. He eliminated Swagger [23] next. Truth went after Kofi. Striker said only Cena and Big Show have drawn no. 30 and won in Rumble history. Kofi used a head scissors to eliminate Truth [24]. Chris Jericho (28) came out next. He went after all three babyfaces in the ring. Michaels came back and hit a top rope elbow on Jericho. He stomped the mat to signal Sweet Chin Music. Kofi intercepted Michaels with Trouble in Paradise. Cena then came up behind Kingston and used a fireman's carry to drop him to the floor. Some boos rang out from the crowd. Jericho surprised Cena with a Code Breaker. It was down to Jericho, Cena, and Michaels. Next out was Edge (29), the big surprise of the night. Jericho looked shocked. Edge speared Jericho, then speared ichaels, then speared Cena. Then he eliminated Jericho [25]. Cole called it retribution. Cena then set up Edge for an Att-Adj, but Edge escaped and gave him a DDT. Edge lifted Michaels and tried to dump him, but then Batista (30) came out.

FINAL FOUR

Batista went to work on the other three, including clotheslines (believe it or not) and sidewalk slams. He shook the top rope and stomped the mat, but when he turned, Edge caught him with a spear. Cena surprised Edge with Att-Adj. All four were down and slow to get up at 44:00. Michaels nipped up and went to work on Michaels and Batista with inverted atomic drops. Michaels climbed to the top rope and hit a flying elbow on Cena. He gave Baitsta an enzuigiri, then climbed to the top rope again. He hit a top rope elbow on Batista. He stomped the mat to set up another superkick. He nailed Cena with it which got a small pop, but not as big as you might expect. He then kicked Batista. Edge went for a clothesline on Michaels. Both tumbled over the top rope, but both hung onto the apron. Michaels superkicked Edge, sending him actually back into the ring. Batista then knocked Michaels off the ring apron, eliminating Michaels [28].

That left Cena, Batista, and Edge. The crowd was stunned. The camera focused on Michaels who was trying to take into account the ramifications of what just happened. He threw the ref down and entered the ring illegally. He refused to accept what happened. Referee Charles Robinson asked him what he wanted him to do about. Michaels superkicked him. Michaels finally walked toward the back, but the camera continued to focus on him. He yelled out. Lawler said he's worried about him. Cena ducked a charging Batista, sending Batista [28] out of the ring to the floor. It was down to Cena and Edge. Edge went for a spear, but Cena side-stepped him and charged at him. Edge, though, side-stepped Cena and threw him over the top to the floor.

WINNER: Edge in 49:00.

STAR RATING: **** -- Nice Royal Rumble match. Not the best ever, but a very good version of it, with a lot of subplots that played out well. The Edge surprise throws off WrestleMania main event predictions. Does he choose to face Undertaker? Does Undertaker lose the title first to, say, Jericho? Does Edge choose to take on Sheamus or someone who holds the WWE Title by then? Or does Edge somehow end up putting the title shot up for grabs and it ends up in someone else's hands? Not many predicted Edge would win, even though he was on the radar as a possible surprise entrant.

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