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By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA BOUND FOR GLORY PPV REPORT - HOUR TWO
OCTOBER 18, 2009
LIVE FROM IRVINE, CALIF.

4 -- TEAM 3D vs. BRITISH INVASION vs. SCOTT STEINER & BOOKER T vs. BEER MONEY (James Storm & Robert Roode)

It began as an extensive eight-way brawl that eventually spilled to ringside. They brought ladders into the ring and used them as weapons and props. Booker did a Spinarooni, which despite teasing for several seconds, the director completely missed Inexcusible considering he cut to Devon making a cartoon face as he was choked with a cable. The crowd pop told the PPV audience they missed something. Steiner entered the ring and began suplexing everyone within reach. He played to the crowd, then gave Williams a Frankeninsteiner off the top rope. The crowd popped. Booker, meanwhile, winced at ringside. Roode caught a charging Steiner with a boot. Sharmell walked to ringside to check on her husband. She called for medical help. Williams knocked Steiner off the ladder. Booker was tended to by medics as The Brits celebrated a double-team move on Steiner. The Brits then sent a message to Team 3D by hitting Steiner with the What's Up crotch headbutt. The Brits strutted as Devon crawled toward the ring to try to get back into the match. The Brits brought two tables into the ring as Booker was carried to the back. Ray hit the Brits with chairshots, but Magnus thankfully blocked the shot to his head with his forearm. The Brits made a comeback. The crowd chanted, "We want tables."

At ringside, Ray gave a chair to Wylde who usd it against Magnus. In the ring Devon took out Beer Money with a clothesline and then slammed Williams through a table at 10:00. Ray then set up Magnus for a Devon crotch headbutt. Why is Young dropping Nash's strap "weird," but Devon repeatedly driving his face into other men's crotchal regions not "weird." Team 3D followed with tables as the crowd chanted "tables, tables." They gave stereo chokeslams to Beer Money. Steiner then hit Devon and Ray with chairshots. Neither lifted an arm to protect their heads, selfishly setting the standard for everyone that you're a wimp if you don't sacrifice your long-term well-being for proving you're hardcore. It's sad that TNA and WWE don't fine wrestlers who don't block chairshots. The rationale that they're only hurting themselves doesn't cut it for a variety of reasons, and there's so many equally suitable substitutions that don't put their brain at risk of long-term degradation. Steiner climbed a ladder, but Team 3D tossed him off of it and threw a table below. Devon climbed the ladder as Ray steadied it. Rhino ran out and knocked Ray off the ladder and then bashed Devon with it as Devon grabbed the IWGP Tag Team Title belt hanging above the ring. Team 3D won the IWGP belts back.

Rhino bashed Ray with the chair again, then bashed Devon across the top and back of his skull, again unprotected. Taz called it nearly criminal. Magnus bashed Devon with chairshot as Devon held a chair of his own near his head. The Brits continued to take control of Team 3D. They set up ladders and climbed them. Beer Money intervened. They knocked Williams down, then superplexed Magnus. It was an awkward landing. Beer Money then played to the crowd for the big "Beer!... Money!" chant. They climbed the two ladders, but Magnus knocked Roode down with a chair to the back. Storm swugged a beer and then sprayed some beer in Magnus's face on top of the ladder. He then sunset flipped Magnus to the mat, but came upt clutching his ankle or knee. Williams hit Roode with a chair, who wisely raised a forearm to protect himself (but the sound was still loud and the crowd still popped). Williams climbed the ladder. Roode met him on the other side at 17:00. "Red Flag" Rob Terry interfered. He pressed Roode over the top rope and onto a table. He almost overshot him past the table. He then lifted Williams onto his shoulders on top of the ladder. He grabbed the belt, although not he had a tough time unsnapping it. Williams tumbled to the mat in exhaustion. Terry checked on him. Taz wondered if any of them would be the same after this. Tenay compared it to the Ultimate X match, calling it "career-changing."

-They showed Lashley and Joe warming up backstage in a split-screen.

5 -- ODB vs. AWESOME KONG vs. TARA -- TNA Knockouts Champion

At 2:00 ODB and Tara decided to work together to take down Kong. Taz and Tenay giggled about a "nip up." They soon fought one another with Kong knocked out temporarily. Tara applied the Tarantula hold on ODB on the ropes. Kong broke it up. At 6:00 Tara hit both ODB and Kong with a moonsault. Security intervened as Tara got into a fight with a mystery woman at ringside. ODB and Kong stopped in their tracks and watched. Tara walked to the back. ODB and Kong finally turned back to fighting one another. ODB lifted Kong, although it was a struggle, and then dropped back. Taz said Kong is the size of a small car. He also wondered what happened to Tara. Tara finally returned, but Kong kicked her to the back. Kong then splashed ODB of the ropes for a two count. Tara came into break up the pin, but was late enough it didn't seem to actually make a difference, although Taz said he thought it did. Kong knocked Tara to the floor, then gave ODB an Implant Buster for a two count. ODB kicked out. Ryesha Saeed slid a chair to Kong. Kong kicked it back at her. Saeed shoved it at her again. Kong again kicked it back. She slid it into the ring again, but just in time for ODB to slam Kong face-first onto the chair when escaping an Awesome Kong. That was good for the win. Kong glared at Saeed.

WINNER: ODB in 7:00 to retain the TNA Knockouts Title.

-Lauren interviewed Morgan backstage. He said this is both personal and business. He said Kurt Angle played him for weeks because he thought it was good for business. He said unlike seven-foot-cliches in this sport, he's an actual seven-foot-athlete. He said he graduated first in his class. Morgan called Bound for Glory "the biggest pay-per-view of all-time." That's pushing it, even with the most loyal TNA fan, although it's not a bad thing to say with conviction. He said he's an educated big man and the future of wrestling.

6 -- SAMOA JOE vs. BOBBY LASHLEY

Lashley's ribs were still taped from Thursday when Rhino gave him a Gore backstage. The crowd chanted "Joe's going to kill you" early. Lashley hit a leapfrog into a spinebuster and then an early cross-armbreaker. Joe broke free and punched Lashley. Then he rolled from a heel hook into a legbar. Lashley broke free and tackled Joe, then rode him. They showed Lashley's wife, Crystal, cheering from ringside. TNA doesn't have a good track record with wrestlers' wives being part of the show. Joe bailed out at 2:00 for a breather. Joe looks like he's lost some of the weight he gained the last year or so. His ring trumps, while a little too "Caesars Palace" perhaps, is an improvement over his previous incarnation. Maybe he didn't lose weight and that last outfit was just terribly unflattering. Either way, he looks like an athlete again. He dove through the ropes onto Lashley at 3:00, then chopped him a few times at ringside. The crowd was loudly behind Joe. Joe locked on an abdominal stretch. Taz did a good job explaining how a rib injury impedes breathing. Joe then hit a powerslam and rolled into an armbreaker. Taz feels more at home the more serious a wrestling match is portrayed, which is why he stumbled so badly in the silly garbage match at the last PPV. Lashley was booed when he went on offense at 6:00, which was either because it was a pro-Joe crowd or his forearm and clothesline looked fake. Joe caught a charging Lashley with a urinage, popping the crowd. Joe gave Lashley a single arm overhead suplex. Lashley swept Joe to the mat and applied his sleeper. The ref called for the bell. Taz and Tenay said Joe didn't tap out, but the ref must've believed he lost consciousness. They weren't sure the ref made the right call, as they attempted to blunt the impact of long-term mainstay Joe's loss to the potential short-term asset in Lashley.

WINNER: Lashley in 7:00 via ref stoppage.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good while it lasted.

-Borash said he's known Lashley a long time, but he's not sure he really knows him. He said they haven't talked since he attacked Abyss. Foley said his reputation wasn't built on laughs and good times. He said he can laugh, but not tonight. He showed off his barbed wire baseball bat. He said he's bled on seven continents and lost an ear, plus had 325 stitches. He said it did it to make a name for himself. Isn't the goal NOT to bleed, NOT to lose ears, NOT to get stitches? Foley said he won't Abyss's body of work outshine his. He said he will have to earn his reputation the hard way, by going through him.

7 -- MICK FOLEY vs. ABYSS

Foley attacked Abyss on the ramp with a barbed wire baseball bat. He gave him a neckbreaker on the stage. Taz said Foley believes Abyss is a carbon copy of him, but he doesn't think that gives Abyss the credit he deserves. Foley climbed scaffolding on the stage. Abyss followed behind. Foley punched Abyss repeatedly, knocking Abyss to the stage. Abyss crashed through it and then went into convulsions. They fought to the ring and used a table wrapped in barbed wire, kendo sticks, and other objects. Foley poured thumb tacks on the mat. Tenay said he banned those. Taz clarified that only Abyss was banned from using them. Abyss set up a chokeslam on Foley, but special ref Dr. Stevie warned him about being DQ'd. Abyss then gave Stevie a Shock Treatment. Daffney slid Foley a taser. Foley jammed it at Abyss and sparks flew in a hokey special effect that didn't last as long as the taser was pushed against him. Foley made the cover and a second ref ran out. That ref counted to three. Abyss didn't hear the first handslap and didn't kick out until after three. The crowd turned on the match badly at that point. Tenay and Taz were left to try to cover for it. When Tenay said he thought it was a three count, Taz said, "You think? I'm being sarcastic. It was definitely three." The ref was left looking like an idiot. Foley pulled out a sock and wrapped it in barbed wire, but Abyss sent Foley head first into the barbed wire wrapped table with a drop toe hold. Stevie yanked the special ref out of the ring. Abyss chokeslammed Daffney off the top rope through a table on the floor, which the director inexcusably missed. Stevie then went after Abyss and chokeslammed him onto the thumb tacks. Dozens were stuck into Stevie's back. Abyss then chokeslammed Foley onto the barbed wire. Abyss dragged Stevie over, made the cover, and slammed Stevie's hand onto the mat three times. In an funny scene, Daffney was still stuck to the barbed wire at ringside, crying for help.

WINNER: Abyss in 12:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Just a mess of a garbage match, which is well past it's freshness date. This type of match has become basically comedy, which is sick given the bodily sacrifices and blood that is sacrificed by the wrestlers. None of it adds up to anything other than a sad geek fest, and that botched ref count destroyed any credibility it might have otherwise had. This is a style of match that needs to be retired for several years and then brought back slowly so that every big bump through a stage, every slam onto thumb tacks, every blow to the body with a barbed wire baseball bat counts singularly as a major angle worthy of weeks of discussion rather than all jumbled up into this kind of mess.

QUOTEBOOK

Taz on Poison: "How does a spider get its own ring introduction."

Matt Morgan: "Unlike other seven-foot cliches in this sport, I'm not some fee-fi-fo-fum freak."

Matt Morgan: "I'm actually a college educated man. I graduated first in my class. I don't say that to brag. Okay, let's be honest, maybe a little bit. There's merit behind my bragging."

Taz on Foley vs. Abyss: "That was one of the strangest, oddest, twisted situations I've ever witnessed in my years. I don't know what the hell happpened, but it was nuts. In a weird way, it was kind of cool."

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