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KELLER'S WWE SUMMERSLAM REPORT
AUGUST 17, 2008
FROM INDIANAPOLIS, IND.
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW

-Jim Ross introduced the show first. Michael Cole chimed in also with a preview.

1 -- JEFF HARDY vs. MVP

Ross said Hardy came out to a "Michael Phelps like reception." Hardy went on offense early. He slingshot himself into the ring with a legdrop. Ross noted that the last time Hardy participated in a SummerSlam was 2001. Wow. MVP turned momentum with a snap overhead belly-to-belly, sending Hardy into the corner awkwardly. MVP worked over Hardy with an upper body chinlock. It was noticeable that he literally maneuvered him for no strategic gain to face the hard camera, which wrestlers are trained to do seamlessly. In this case it wasn't seamless. MVP shifted to a leglock at 4:00. MVP scored a near fall at 5:00. He hung Hardy upside down in the corner, then swung him into the air and let him drop down, hitting his head upon the downswing. MVP went for another pin, scoring another near fall. Ross and Tazz agreed that MVP might be getting a little frustrated. Hardy teased a comeback, but MVP soon took control again. MVP telegraphed a charged into the corner, so Hardy met him with a leaping clothesline. Both men were counted down by the ref for the count of seven. Hardy scored the first offense afterward, a Russian leg sweep into a leverage jackknife pin attempt. Hardy hit a Whisper in the Wind at 9:00, then climbed to the top rope for a Twist of Fate. When he noticed Shelton Benjamin, he dove onto him at ringside instead. When he climbed to the top and came off with a Twist of Fate attempt, MVP recovered enough to avoid it, then hit the running boot to the face for the win. Tazz and Ross called it a great match.

WINNER: MVP in 10:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Good match for what it was. It fulfilled its purpose as a warm-up opener. Perhaps a letdown given all that went into he feud and the potential of this to be something really special.

-Maria interviewed Santino Marella and "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix. Santino said he barely recognized Maria because she let herself go. He said the tabloids are calling them "Glamarella." Maria said he liked his new unibrow. He had a fake connecting eyebrow (at least I hope it's fake). He said he grew it because it drives Glamazon wild. Glamazon stared down Maria. Santino said, "Awkward!"

2 -- SANTINO MARELLA & BETH PHOENIX vs. KOFI KINGSTON & MICKIE JAMES

The women began the match. When Santino tagged in, he gave Mickie a monkey flip into her corner where she tagged in Kofi. Kofi flew at Santino. Cole said it's "what I like to call controlled frenzy." Brilliant, genius. Kofi was going to dive at Santino at ringside, but Santino dove into Phoenix's arms. Kofi stopped short. Santino snapped Kofi's neck over the top rope. Santino grounded Kofi at 2:00 center-ring. Santino tagged in Phoenix, who kicked Kofi in the ribs, then tagged Santino back in. Santino went back to an upperbody chinlock center ring, yapping the whole time. At 4:00 Mickie tagged in and went on a flurry against Phoenix. When she hit a Thesz Press, Santino broke up the pin attempt, then knocked Kofi out of the ring as he went for the save. Mickie then gave Santino a big DDT. Phoenix, though, moved right in and gave Mickie her finisher for the win. Santino "celebrated like he won his ninth Gold Medal," said Cole.

WINNERS: Phoenix & Santino in 4:00 to win the Women's Title and Intercontinental Title.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Fun match. Too short as they could have stretched that out without a problem.

-Cole and Lawler threw to a video package on the Shawn Michaels-Chris Jericho feud.

-Shawn Michaels walked out to the ring with his wife Rebecca. Lawler said it's not a good omen that Michaels was accompanied by his wife. Michaels thanked everyone for their support. He said he wanted to get right to it. His wife looked broken up. He said he saw his doctor recently for another update. He said his doctor told him due to complications with eyes plus a culmination of other injuries, he should step away. He said his doctor said it's up to him, though, and after consulting with his family, he's decided to listen to his doctors for the first time in his life. He said he has had a wonderful career and regrets nothing. He reminisced about past SummerSlams. He thanked the fans for supporting him as he earned the titles Heartbreak Kid, Show Stopper, and even Mr. WrestleMania. He said he's also known as the guy who screwed Bret Hart, formed DX, innovated the ladder match, the guy who lost his smile, and the man who retired Ric Flair. He said he now has an opportunity to be known as something else: full time husband and full time father. His wife teared up as he continued. He said he knows this won't be a popular decision, but he knows it's the right one. Chris Jericho's music interrupted. Lawler said he doesn't know what's going on, but it's highly inappropriate. He said he has no business out there.

Jericho looked upset as he stepped into the ring, wearing a suit. He shook his head, looked at Michaels, and said, "No." Michaels said, "Excuse me?" Jericho said he won't let him go out on his own terms. He said he is walking away from this business because of Jericho and he wants him to admit that to his face right now. Michaels said if he has even the slightest amount of human decency, he'll get out of the ring right now. Jericho told him to admit he's walking away not because of his doctor's orders or his family's influence, but because of what he did to him. He said he wants to hear him say it. Not just to him, but say it to his wife and his kids. "I deserve to hear it," he said. "I have earned the right to hear you say I put you out. I want the last moment of your professional career to be you saying Chris Jericho put you out for good." Michaels stared him down. Jericho said his accomplishments, accolades, and championships don't matter. Michaels looked at him and said, "Okay Chris, I'll admit it." He said he'll sit his wife and kids down and tell them the reason he can't wrestle anymore is because of the actions of a vile, worthless, selfish human being. He said wants to do him a favor and tell his wife and kids "daddy will never, ever be Shawn Michaels." They had an intense staredown as Rebecca encouraged Michaels to back down. Jericho swung and hit Rebecca. Michaels checked on her. She didn't move. Michaels looked at Jericho, who seemed stunned by what he just did. Jericho slinked out of the ring and walked away, looking a bit like he just ran over the dog of a mobster, contemplating his fate. Michaels snorted and growled and hyperventilated as medics checked on Rebecca. Jericho backed up toward the stage, looking on at the aftermath. After a minute, Rebecca did sit up. They replayed Michaels ducking and Jericho hitting Rebecca. Lawler said it was obvious Jericho hitting Rebecca was an accident. The crowd applauded as Rebecca returned to her feet with Michaels's help. Michaels hugged her as she struggled to regain her senses. Very good segment, right in line with the quality level of their previous interactions. The tone was on pitch throughout. Michaels's retirement speech was almost believable, but most viewers knew Jericho was coming out eventually. The question was how Jericho would end up taunting Michaels into returning to the ring after all.

-A movie trailer aired for Keanu Reaves' DVD release on Tuesday of "Street Kings."

-They showed the exterior of Canseco Fieldhouse. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker were shown on camera as they set the stage for the ECW Title match. Clips aired of their feud. They referred to Hardy as the underdog.

3 -- MARK HENRY vs. MATT HARDY -- ECW Title match

Hardy threw some punches early, ducked a Hardy charge in the corner, and hit a very early Twist of Fate for a near fall. Hardy went for the cover. Grisham wondered if that would be it. Atlas yanked Hardy by his leg off of Henry. The ref called for the bell. Atlas was a half second late, which is pretty needless because there was no big downside to being a half second early but a big downside to being a half second later. The ref called for the bell, which was also not entirely consistent with how WWE enforces rules. Atlas and Henry attacked Matt at ringside. Jeff charged to ringside and made the save, Hardy hit a Swanton off the ring apron onto Atlas. Henry jumped Jeff, but Matt immediately made the save and they took Henry down with a double-team suplex on the floor. They actually played Jeff's music. 

WINNER: Hardy via DQ so Henry retained the ECW Title.

STAR RATING: neg. * -- That was lame booking. If there was an injury or illness, it was okay, but otherwise, they advertised and built up that match and didn't deliver at all. If they argue that finish is okay, do it in the main event sometime and see how it goes over with the crowd. World Title matches of any kind can't be booked that cheaply.

-A video package aired on the Edge-Undertaker feud. Cole and Lawler asked fans to text whether they think Edge and Vickie will get a divorce. Then they showed C.M. Punk stretching backstage. Then they threw to a video feature on Punk. Good idea. Cole said it was "an inside look." Not really. Just Punk highlights with Punk saying some say he's a fluke champion, but he earned it. Then a JBL video package aired.

4 -- C.M. PUNK vs. JBL -- World Hvt. Title match

Punk opened up with a series of high-flying offense with kicks knocking JBL to ringside and the a dive through the ropes. He threw JBL back into the ring and the climbed to the top rope and hit a crossbody for a one count. JBL came back with a shoulder tackle and dominated offense for several minutes, including a bear hug on the mat and an abdominal stretch. At 7:00 after several JBL elbowdrops, Punk made a comeback by ducking a clothesline and hitting a spinning backfist and a roundhouse kick for a near fall. When Punk leaped off the top rope, JBL turned it into a powerslam for a near fall. JBL signalled for a Clothesline from Hell, but Punk caught him with a hook kick and then a high knee in the corner. JBL came back by setting Punk on the top rope and battering him with forearms at 8:00. He hit a back suplex off the top rope. They showed a replay of JBL's head knocking into Punk's when he took a bump off of that hook kick. Ouch. Punk surprised JBL with a GTS for the win almost out of nowhere.

WINNER: Punk to retain the World Hvt. Title in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good match. Not particularly memorable, and not a star-making match for Punk, but the clean win over JBL was needed. Cole said his underdog winning streak continues as part of "an unbelievable title reign." The problem is some fans don't believe it.

5 -- TRIPLE H vs. THE GREAT KHALI -- WWE Title match

During Triple H's ring intro, Ross said he is a 12 time WWE Champion. He noted the list of people he's defeated to win titles, calling it a who's who list: Mankind, Big Show, The Rock, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and Bill Goldberg. He also said Triple H hasn't lost a SummerSlam match in six years. He said the WWE Title has been defended at 17 of the 20 SummerSlams, but has only changed hands three times. Ross noted the nearly one foot height different between the "7-3 Khali" and the "6-4 Triple H." Khali shoved Hunter at the bell. Hunter fought back and went for a quick Pedigree. Khali blocked it and hit an early chokeslam. Khali reached his arms in the air in celebration. He just stood there for a long time, long enough for a replay, before he moved in for the head squeeze. Hunter flailed to get out. Hunter did manage to break free by kicking Khali's legs. He clipped his left knee from behind. Khali collapsed and rolled out of the ring. Khali chopped Hunter when Hunter moved in on him, then he took control in the ring for a while. Khali applied a nerve hold. Ross said many wrestlers over the years have succeeded by using their hand strength, citing the Von Erichs, the Blackjacks, and Crusher & Bruiser. Where's the love for Baron Von Raschke? Ross said, "Triple H is a guy who hates losing more than he does winning." I don't think he quite got that phrase right. Khali fell into the ropes and got tied up. When Hunter moved in, Khali kicked him and broke free. He then dumped Triple H over the top rope to the floor. Triple H got up and yanked Khali's leg, dropping him to the mat. Then he yanked the leg into the ringpost. When Hunter re-entered the ring, Khali applied another head vice. As Hunter dropped to his knees, Ross said, "Imagine the celebration in India if Khali wins the title tonight." A minute later Hunter kicked Khali and hit the Pedigree out of nowhere.

WINNER: Triple H in 10:00 to retain the World Hvt. Title.

STAR RATING: ** -- Told a good story. It's what I expected Triple H and Khali would be able to produce in this match. Ten minutes was about right. Lots of clever ways to mask Khali's limitations in the ring were employed.

-A video package aired on the Cena-Batista feud.

6 -- JOHN CENA vs. BATISTA

Cena came out to a mixed reaction. When his music stopped once he got into the ring, there were scattered boos. Batista came out second to mostly cheers. Cena got booed when he hit an early hiptoss and bodyslam. Cole said, "Many Superstars have told me when you get into the ring with Cena for the first time, you don't quite realize how strong he is until he uses that power on you." Lawler said Cena is "scary strong and sneaky strong." Cole said Batista is a loner and a man of few words, while Cena is is outgoing. Cena remained on offense with a fisherman's suplex and got booed some more. Batista came back with a sideslam at 2:00 for a two count. At 4:00 Batista applied a figure-four leglock just as Cole was talking about the influence of Ric Flair on Batista early in his career. Cena reached the ropes to force a break after a minute. Cena went for an FU and ended up dumping Batista over the top rope as Batista held onto the top rope. Cena collapsed and clutched his left knee.

The crowd booed as Cena stood. He reached his hand in the air to begin the You Can't See Me routine. He did the fistdrop and went for an FU. Batista elbowed out of it. Batista went on offense, but Cena came back a minute later and applied an STFU. He showed a ton of light early with a lazy application of it. Batista reached the bottom rope eventually. Cena went for an FU, but Batista slipped out and applied a rear naked choke with a body scissors. Cena elbowed out. Batista quickly hit a spear off the ropes for a near fall at 11:00. Cena countered a powerslam attempt and hit the FU out of nowhere. Cena crawled over and made a cover for a genuine near fall at 12:00.

Cena climbed to the top rope. Batista met him up there by standing on the second rope. They exchanges punches. Cena won that battle and knocked Batista backwards to the mat. He followed up with a top rope move, but Batista countered with a powerbomb. Clumsy looking in that there was no logical move Cena was going for (since he doesn't do huracanranas off the top rope very often), but the near fall was dramatic and believable, popping the crowd. Batista followed with a BatistaBomb for the clea win. Batista was first up. He limped to the back as if he had been through a grueling battle. Cena continued to writhe in pain on the mat.

WINNER: Batista in 14:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- They had the crowd throughout. The matholds were pretty loosely and casually applied despite intense facial expressions meant to make everything look real. The big spots were dramatic and for the most part well done. Cena's year of losing most of his matches continues.

-Ross and Tazz revealed the results of the text message poll: 78 pecent said Edge and Vickie will divorce.

-A video package aired on the Edge-Vickie-Undertaker saga.

7 -- EDGE vs. UNDERTAKER -- Hell in a Cell

Edge's ring entrance came first. Ross said he appears eager to face Undertaker in the Cell. Ross said during Undertaker's ring intro that he is the yardstick by which every WWE career is measured. He said there have only been 15 Hell in a Cell matches and Undertaker has been in eight, with Edge in zero until tonight. Tazz said Edge seemed more enlightened than intimidated by the structure and Undertaker himself. The bell rang to start the match at 11 minutes into the final hour, giving it plenty of time. Contrast that to last week's TNA main event cage match which began with less than 15 minutes left in the show. A week later would TNA fans look back on last Sunday's show more fondly had one of the undercard matches been left off and Samoa Joe vs. Booker T lasted another 15 or 20 minutes? Taker took early offense, ramming Edge back-first into the side of the cage. A minute later he whipped him into the ringside steps. They showed Vickie Guerrero, Zach Ryder, Curt Hawkins, and Bam Neely watching backstage. For some reason they sat almost to the side of the TV. It's one of those dumb production decisions where they aim the TV screen at the camera rather than the people watching because if they didn't, then of course the viewers would have no idea what the people the room were watching.

Back in the ring Taker set up the steps in the corner. Edge reversed Taker into the steps, then slidekicked him, getting his first sustained offense. He followed up with a spear into the steps. Edge set a table up against the fence wall at 5:00. In the ring, Edge hit Taker with the steps. Ross said Taker might be regretting bringing the steps into the ring. At 6:00 Edge jabbed Taker in the face with a chair. Ross noted it's legal in this match. At 9:00 Edge introduced a ladder. He set Taker on the table, then climbed the ladder with a chair in hand. He dove off and hit Taker with the chair, breaking the table and sending Taker crashing to the mat. At 11:00 Taker made a comeback with a boot to Edge's face, knocking him off the ring apron and into the fence. Ross said, "This is a match where casualties are guaranteed." Taker charged at Edge with the base of the steps and knocked him down. Edge leaped off the steps at ringside and dove at Taker, knocking them both into the side of the cage, knocking the panel open. The camera zoomed in on Taker's arm bleeding afterward. The panel landed on the announce table. Ross said that's closer to the Cell than he ever wanted to be.

Taker rammed Edge's head into the table. Tazz said, "The hell's not in the cell; the hell's out here." Sounds like a line Vince McMahon fed him. Taker swung a monitor at Edge, but Edge moved. Edge countered by hitting Taker in the head with the monitor. They stood on the announce tables. At 15:00 Edge leaped from one at Taker on another, spearing him onto the third which collapsed under them. They replayed it a few times. They fought their way back into the ring. Tazz was amazed Edge has lasted as long as he has and was doing as well. Edge found a camera and KO'd Taker with it. Ross said that's what cost Taker the title at Hell in a Cell at Survivor Series last year. It led to a near fall. At 18:00 Edge charged at Taker with a spear attempt, but Taker caught him and chokeslammed him for a believable near fall. Edge gave Taker a low blow seconds later to stop Taker's momentum. Taker came back and considered a Last Ride. He stopped and tried to shift Edge toward the steps or table. Edge slipped out and nailed a spear for another near fall. Ross said, "It's over! It's over! Is it over?" Edge staggered to his feet and mounted Taker in the corner and threw a series of punches. Taker countered with a Last Ride for a very near fall at 21:00. Edge slammed Taker onto the base of the steps in the ring. A minute later Taker came back and slammed Edge through two tables at ringside. Taker picked up the camera and KO'd Edge with it, breaking it into pieces. Taker set Edge's head on a chair flat on the mat, then bashed Edge with another chair. Ross said that's the first "conchairto" Taker has ever used. Taker then gave him a Tombstone for the win. They showed Vickie and La Familia applauding backstage.

WINNER: Undertaker in 26:00.

STAR RATING: **** -- That lived up to the hype. They got in a bunch of big spots. The near falls were believable and dramatic.

-As Taker left, he saw Edge moving. Taker decided to return to the ring to finish Edge. He se Edge on a ladder, then brought another ladder into the ring. Taker then shoved Edge off the ladder in what was supposed to look like a signature chokeslam and Edge fell right through the ring, which collapsed out from under him. No reference by Tazz to the Bam Bam Bigelow spot in ECW. Why make something that looks special seem like it's been done before. Well, next came something new. Fire shot up from the hole that Edge fell through. Neat special effects. Only Taker can get away with supernatural stuff like that without it being overly corny. Ross closed, "Undertaker has sent Edge straight to hell!"

What'd you think of this show? If you saw it, send us your name, hometown, occupation, score for the event, picks for the best match and worst match, and a brief paragraph of key thoughts on the event: pwtorch@gmail.com.

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