PPV REPORTS KELLER'S TNA SLAMMIVERSARY PPV REPORT 6/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live event
Jun 8, 2008 - 7:22:04 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
KELLER'S TNA SLAMMIVERSARY PPV REPORT
JUNE 8, 2008
LIVE FROM SOUTH HAVEN, MISS.
-A themed video package aired previewing the event. Then the camera panned the crowd as Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show.
1 - PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Rhaka Khan, Scott Steiner) vs. KAZ -- X Title Match
Petey wore a face guard a la Rip Hamilton of the Detroit Pistons. Back and forth counters by both men early. At 4:00 Petey hit the first big move with a diving hurancanrana over the top rope onto Kaz at ringside. Tenay said it's great to be in the Memphis, Tenn. area and they'd be taking viewers to scenery throughout Memphis during the PPV telecast. At 10:00 Kaz hit an innovative sling-shot DDT type move for a near fall. More back and forth counters and big moves leading to dramatic near falls. A "This is awesome!" chant broke out. Petey went to the top rope. Kaz kicked him in the head. Kaz set up a Flex Capacitor, but Petey countered with an attempt at a top rope Canadian Destroyer. Kaz fought out of it. Petey dropped to the floor and yanked kaz's arm over the top rope. Kaz surprised Petey with a backslide for a two count, then dropped Kaz on his head with a back piledriver for a near fall. Khan entered the ring. Kaz dropkicked her. Petey distracted Kaz, then Petey hit Kaz with a lead pipe as the ref was distracted. Petey covered Kaz who managed to make a surprise kickout. Kaz came up bleeding heavily from the forehead. Petey yanked off his faceguard and set up a Canadian Destroyer. Kaz slipped out and went for a roll-up. Petey leveraged out and applied a sharpshooter mid-ring. Blood flowed from Kaz's head. Kaz escaped and surprised Petey with a Wave of the Future for believable a near fall. Steiner stood on the ring apron, so Kaz kicked him down. Kaz went for a sunse flip, but Petey rolled through and hit the Canadian Destroyer for the pin.
WINNER: Petey Williams in 16:00.
STAR RATING: ***3/4 -- Very good opener.
-After the match, Steiner and Petey attacked Kaz. Steiner complained that he wasn't in a title match on the show. He said Kaz screwed him out of a title shot, so he's going to screw him by beating him so bad he can't make it to Thursday's title match. Abyss's music then played and the lights went dim. Abyss walked out in a white insane asylum outfit. Tenay and West wondered what this was all about. Steiner stood and faced Abyss as he walked into the ring. Steiner threw Petey into Petey, who took a Black Hole Slam. Abyss then gave one to Steiner. Khan entered with the lead pipe. Abyss yanked it away from her and then grabbed her by the throat. He let go, but then grabbed her again and gave her a Black Hole Slam.
-They showed Tenay and West at ringside. They talked about this being TNA's Sixth Anniversary, then hyped the rest of the PPV. Eric Young showed up and said he found him and the King is on his way. Tenay laughed. Young thanked the fans for believing in him. He pointed at a front row seat that said "Reserved for Elvis."
-A video feature aired on Kevin Nash. The narrator said his lust of money takes precedence over his loyalty. Jeremy Borash then had a sitdown interview with Nash backstage. He asked whether his relationship with Joe is business or personal. He said the score in wrestling is kept with money, not who does the fanciest moves. He said he is friends with Joe and he has a lot of stock in him. He said if Joe loses, he loses, but if Joe wins, Nash cashes in. It's not really clear how he benefits if Joe wins. Did Joe give him a cut of his winnings for some reason? It's not really explained.
-A video feature aired on Graceland narrrated by Mike Tenay.
2 -- ROXXI LAVEAUX & ODB & GAIL KIM vs. ANGELINA LOVE & VELVET SKY & MOOSE
Sky and Love dropped to the floor at the start of the match and let Moose wrestle on her own first. They tried to walk away a minute into the match, but Kim and ODB jumped them from behind. Roxxi ended up back in the ring, taking a beating from all three heels who were making frequent tags. Moose gave Roxxi some heavy jump kneelifts that looked good. At 5:00 Roxxi hot-tagged Kim. The heels took control and worked over Kim's taped right knee for five minutes. Kim hot-tagged ODB at 10:00. She took a swig from her flask and sprayed it in Moose's face, then gave her a Thesz Press and landed with her crotch on top of Moose's face for a two count. ODB followed with a running running powerslam for the win.
WINNER: ODB in 11:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Good length to the match. Not sure if it makes great sense to job Moose early because they could have built up to that so it meant more when it happened.
-Lauren had a sit-down interview with Rhino. He talked about what a difficult year he's had in his personal life. He said he had issues at home and on the road. He said making peace with Christian helped him move on. He said he wants to prove in the King of the Mountain match that he can be the TNA World Champion.
3 -- LAX (w/Celinas, Hector Guerrero) vs. TEAM 3D (w/Johnny Devine) -- TNA Tag Team Title Match
LAX took early control on Devon. Homicide and Hernandez hit big dives at ringside on Devon and Ray. West screamed "Unbelievable!" so they must have been great. Team 3D eventually came back and isolated Homicide for several minutes. At 10:00 Homicide hot-tagged Hernandez for less of a pop than it earned. He gave Devon a delayed vertical suplex. Homicide tagged back in and hit a crossbody block off the top rope for a near fall. Celinas was about to climb up to the top rope to interfere as Hernandez held Ray's legs apart. Hector stopped Johnny Devine from intervening. Hector hit Devine with a kendo stick. Celinas hit a top rope dove onto Ray. Devon returned to the ring and took control of Homicide. Homicide and Hernandas came back with the Gringos Cutter on Ray. As the ref counted, Devon yanked the ref out of the ring by his legs. Homicide dove toward Devon at ringside, but Devon side-stepped him. Ray then low-blowed Hernandez from behind at 14:00. Team 3D set up a 3D, but Homcide snuck up behind Ray and schoolboyed him for the win.
WINNER: LAX in 15:00 to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles.
STAR RATING: ** -- Solid tag match. The extended beatdowns dragged a bit, but some of the elaborate sequences were well executed.
-A video feature aired on Robert Roode and his ambitions in the King of the Mountain match. Borash then had a sitdown interview with Roode. He said he wants to prove that he's a main eventer. He said he looks around the locker room and sees guys such as Sting, Booker T, Kevin Nash, and Christian Cage who have not just talked about it, but have gone out and done it. (What do all of those guys have in common? They've all headlined for WCW and the WWF years ago.) He said he is going to prove he's a main eventer and the very best. Good style interview series.
-A video feature aired on Awesome Kong. Then she walked out with Ryesha Saeed. Borash announced she issued an open challenge again to any woman over age 18. He said if someone answers the challenge and wins, they'll be handed a briefcase with $25,000 inside. They panned the crowd with women volunteering to fight her. Another "woman from the crowd" was chosen by Borash. She said her name is Serina D and she's been training in MMA lately. Josie Robinson also stepped up and said she thinks she can win. Borash asked them to pick one of the two. They picked Serina.
4A -- AWESOME KONG (w/Ryesha Saeed) vs. SERINA -- 25K Challenge
Serina tried to tackle Kong. Kong didn't budge. She climbed her back and choked her. Kong tossed her over her shoulder. Selina rolled to the floor. West said it's like a cat playing with a ball of yarn. Kong swung her by her legs so her head hit the security railing. She stuck her foot against her throat on the floor, then rammed her into the steel steps. She shoved the other woman at ringside, Josie. Back in the ring Kong finished her with an Implant Buster.
WINNER: Kong in 3:00.
4B -- AWESOME KONG vs. JOSIE
-After the match, Josie challenged kong. Kong got in her face and shoved her again. Kong wanted another challenge. Borash made Josie sign a release, too. Josie slapped Kong and then jumped over the guard rail and unleashed on her with a flurry of swings. Kong shoved her off of her and then threw her into the guard rail. Kong then beat on her in the ring with some hard slaps and a clothesline in the corner. Kong hit an Awesome Bomb for the win.
WINNER: Kong in 2:00.
-Young walked out onto the stage and said this is the moment everyone's been waiting for. He said this is the real reason fans bought tickets to this PPV. He said, "We did it!" He then introduced "the real King of Rock 'n' Roll, Elvis Presley." An Elvis impersonator walked out. Wouldn't Elvis look 31 years older than the last time we saw him? West noted that, saying this guy might be Elvis's grandson. Kong stared at him as he danced to the ring in a jumpsuit. A kid about nine years old just looked at him with indifference mixed with contempt (if there is such a thing) from the front row. He the ring and thanked the fans. He turned to Kong and said he had a question for her. He asked her how she enjoyed visiting Graceland. She kicked him and gave him an Awesome Bomb. Are they turning Kong babyface, because attacking an Elvis impersonator on a wrestling show will do that.
-A brief video package aired on Christian, then Lauren interviewed him. Christian said he's let the World Title belt be set free, and now he's going to see if it returns because then it was meant to be. He said he's realized that he loves being the best and being the champion. He said there are others in the match who are more than qualified to be World Champion, but he said he is the most qualified. He said there isn't a man with a better win-loss record in TNA than him since he arrived or in more main events. He said his motivation is to be recognized as the best and have his name etched in the history books as the very best. He said he plans to become the World Champion for the third time tonight and it will be his to keep.
-A video package aired on the Black Machismo-So Cal Val wedding storyline.
-The wedding began first with Ace Young, Kamala, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Koko B. Ware and Frankie, and George "The Animal" Steele. George stayed in character. What percentage of fans remember him? He looked about the same. Then Sonjay Dutt walked out throwing flower pedals, Black Machismo, and So Cal Val. When the minister asked if anyone had any protest, they should speak now or forever hold their peace. Sonjay looked nervous, but didn't say anything. Machismo then said, "I do." When Val was asked, Dutt interrupted. He said, "This has gone on long enough!" Dutt looked at Val and said from the very first time he looked in her eyes, he knew he was in love. He said teh man she should marry "should be me!" He begged her to reconsider the whole thing. Machismo got in Dutt's face. Val cried. Dutt hit Machismo across the back with part of the set. Ave young tried to make the save. Dutt hit him and spot on him. Koko entered the ring. Dutt fended him off with a knee to the gut. Kamala made his way into the ring slowly. He chopped Dutt and slapped his belly. Dutt took some bumps. Ware held Dutt down as Steele cheered from ringside. Val cried as she walked to the back. Roberts threw his snake bag into the ring and then released the snake. Kamala, who is scared of snakes, fled from the ring. Jake put the snake across Dutt's body. Steele began tearing open the turnbuckle pad and threw the stuffing everywhere. It was like a circus in slow motion. Tenay said the wedding they were looking forward to so much was ruined. Jake consoled Machismo.
-A video feature aired on Booker T. Then in a sitdown interview with Lauren, he said TNA begged him to sign with them to put TNA on the map. He said they offered him more money than a man can count, so he signed. He said TV ratings have increased and PPV buyrates are up. He said more people are watching TNA wrestling than ever before. He said in exchange he got a locker room that smelled of elephant urine. He said he will win the TNA Title and change TNA forever. He said in WWE he was dictated to, but in TNA that will not happen. He said he will reach for the brass ring and take it tonight and when it's over, they will bow down and praise him.
5 -- KURT ANGLE (w/Tomko) vs. A.J. STYLES
West said he has never seen this look in Styles's eyes before. They felt each other out for two minutes. When Styles got in some offense, Angle bailed to ringside to regroup. At 5:00 Angle threw Styles to the floor. When Tomko approached Styles, ref Earl "Hepner" Hebner ordered Tomko to return to the back. Meanwhile, Angle threw Styles into the guard rail. The announcers acted like it made a difference that the ref didn't see that, as if the ref ever DQ's a wrestler for that. As Angle then protested to the ref for ejecting Tomko from ringside, Styles recovered and hit a flip dive onto Angle on the floor. Angle went on sustained offense including three chinlocks. Angle went for a superplex, but Styles countered it and dropped Angle on his face on the mat. Styles, who bled from his nose, went on a stretch of offense against Angle. Angle then came back by 17:00 with some near falls of his own including a Pele Kick. He dove at Angle next, but Angle caught him and overhead tossed him into the corner. Angle pulled Styles away from the corner and scored a near fall. At 19:00 Styles surprised Style with a flip out of the corner into an inverted DDT for a near fall. Angle held his left arm in the air as if he were paralyzed from the move, but he was playing possum because when Styles climbed to the top rope, Angle popped up and suplexed him suddenly to the mat for a near fall. Angle pulled his straps down, but Styles surprised Angle with a Pele kick for a two count ending when Angle grabbed the bottom rope to stop the count. Styles went for a Styles Clash, but Angle blocked it and rolled into an Anklelock. Styles kicked out, but knocked Angle into the ref. With the ref down, Styles leg scissored Angle suddenly through the ropes to the floor - so sudden that the ringside cameraman barely had a chance to move out of the way. Karen then walked to ringside with a chair in hand. She tapped the chair and handed Angle the chair. But when Angle tried to grab it, she wouldn't let go. She laughed at Angle. Styles rolled up Angle from behind and gave him a Styles Clash for the win.
WINNER: Styles in 23:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Good match, but short of a classic must-see match in part because there were too many chinlocks mid-match from Angle that took the crowd out of it.
-After the match, Angle hit Styles with a chair from behind afterward. Karen screamed no. Tomko ran to the ring and threw security out of the ring before they could intervene. Angle then twisted Styles's ankle in the ankelock.
-A video feature aired on Samoa Joe, then Lauren interviewed Joe. Joe said at one time a champion had to defeat one man, and he knew as a champion whom he had to be better than that day. He said today they reward the politicians and opportunists. He said TNA fans are sick and tired of the norm, the politicians. He said they want to see a man who will beat his opponent into the mat. He said tonight he'll defeat some of the best wrestlers in the ring. He said history books will eventually say, not that he's the fastest or strongest, but that he held the title more times and did more to defend it. (I wouldn't admit I'm not fast or strong if I were Joe since he is both; I wouldn't aspire to hold the title more times than anyone because that means losing it just as many; instead I'd aspire to the most successful title defenses in his career.)
-A final video feature aired on the King of the Mountain main event.
6 -- SAMOA JOE vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. ROBERT ROODE vs. RHINO vs. BOOKER T -- King of the Mountain TNA Title Match
Kevin Nash took his place at ringside as the enforcer. Joe and Booker had an early chopfest at ringside. Booker shoved Christian off the top rope. He clutched a knee afterward. At 3:00 Joe and Rhino worked one-on-one for a while. Roode broke up a Joe pin attempt after a senton. At 4:00 Christian returned to the match and went after Joe and Roode. He DDT'd Roode. joe slapped him a few times across the face, then roundhouse kicked him. West touted the speed and force of Joe's kicks. Joe snap powerslammed Christian for a two count. He also gave Booker a snap slam when he entered the ring. Christian caught a charging Joe with an elbow, then scored a two count. Rhino and Roode brawled at ringside as Joe continued to beat on Christian in the ring. He hung Christian upside down in the corner, then basement facewashed him. Booker got the better of Joe at ringside. Then he entered the ring and one-arm slammed Rhino out of nowhere for a three count. That made Booker eligible to win and sent Rhino to the cage at ringside. Booker went for a ladder right away. Booker got in Nash's face and took the belt off of his shoulder. Nash gave him a bit of a chest bump. Booker, with the belt, set up the ladder. When Joe and Booker went for a ladder at the same time, Christian slidekicked it into both of them. Rhino was released from the penalty box and worked on Christian in the ring. When he set up a Gore, Joe tripped him from ringside and yanked him crotch-first into the ringpost. He then one-arm slammed Christian, then hit a running dive onto Booker, Rhino, and Roode at ringside. Christian followed up by climbing to the top of the penalty box and he leaped off onto all four on the floor.
Christian slid a ladder into the ring, but when he lifted it, Roode swung a chair into the ladder and knocked Christian back. Roode scored a pin, making himself the second eligible competitor. Christian went to the penalty box. Rhino schoolboyed Roode for a quick pin, also. Nash yanked Roode out of the ring by his legs, then threw him into the penalty box with Christian. Joe and Booker fought mid-ring. Joe applied a rear naked choke. At 14:00 Christian was released from the box and hit a frog splash off the top of the box onto both Joe and Booker. He pinned Booker, sending him to the penalty box. The only wrestler not eligible to win at this point was Joe. Roode stopped Christian from hanging the belt on the hook above the ring. Roode then climbed the ladder to attempt to hang the belt. Joe suplexed him off the ladder to the mat. Christian climbed to hang the belt, but Joe stopped him. Joe then gave Christian a facebuster off the ladder. Rhino gave Joe a Gore. West said Joe has to find someone to pin to have a chance to retain his title. Everyone was lying on the mat and slow to get up as Booker's penalty box time expired. Booker was so battered and beaten, he didn't even want to get up and out of the box. Booker eventually did get up and hit Nash in the head with the title belt. He entered the ring and hit Joe and Roode with the belt. When Christian climbed into the ring, Booker hit him too. Booker then dropped to a knee and looked at his hand in anticipation of climbing the ladder to win the belt. Booker got near the top when Nash climbed over the top rope and into the ring. He hit Booker from behind and then gave him a Jackknife powerbomb off the ladder. Joe got up and went for a Muscle Buster. Christian escaped. Rhino went for a Gore on Joe, but Joe moved and Rhino knocked Christian off the ring apron through a table at ringside. Roode hit Joe with a clothesline from behind. Rhino caught a charging Roode with an elbow, but Roode knocked Rhino to the floor. Joe and Roode battled for the belt. Roode got it and swung it at Joe. Joe leaped and kicked Roode, then gave him a Muscle Buster for a three count. That made him eligible. He climbed the ladder with a sense of urgency and hung the belt for the win.
WINNER: Joe in 19:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- This isn't a bad concept match. Too bad it doesn't stand out more among all of TNA' gimmick matches. Lots of action and drama, except for the flaw of this concept, which is that hanging a belt on a hook isn't a particularly dramatic end to a match as it seems like someone hanging a plant in the corner of a restaurant more than "beating someone to win a fight."
-Joe celebrated afterward. Nash walked up and offered a handshake. Joe quickly shook it, but without much enthusiasm. Joe threw a towel over his shoulder and walked out with his belt.
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