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KELLER'S WWE NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION PPV REPORT 1/7: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage

Jan 7, 2007 - 9:46:00 PM
PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO BOOKMARK US & VISIT US DAILY


By Wade Keller, Torch editor

WWE NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION
JANUARY 7, 2006
KANSAS CITY, KS. AT KEMPER ARENA
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW


1 -- JEFF HARDY vs. JOHNNY NITRO (w/Melina) - IC Title match

I joined this match in progress due to my wonderful Comcast Cable system. Nitro climbed to the top of the cage, then got knocked upside down and hung from his ankles. As Hardy moved up to beat on him, Melina rammed his fingers. A few minutes later, Nitro climbed the top of the cage as Hardy crawled toward the door. Melina blocked the cage door so Hardy couldn't escape. The ref pushed Melina away. Hardy shoved the cage door open just as Nitro dropped down, resulting in Nitro crotching the cage door. Hardy then crawled out of the door to win.

WINNER: Hardy in 16:00 (estimated) to retain the IC Title.

STAR RATING: What I saw looked good. Only saw second half as of now. Good finish.

-Todd Grisham interviewed Rated RKO backstage. Edge said he and Randy Orton teamed together to take DX out of WWE. He said that unlike Big Show and the McMahons, they plan to stick around. "Their run is over," said Edge. Orton said, "Michaels took a double RKO on a chair, opening his skull for blood to flow everywhere." He said they're beating up DX not just because they don't like them, but for their future and their livelihoods. Edge said history will show that their reunion was fun while it lasted and sold a lot of t-shirts. He vowed to put a painful and definitive end to DX tonight. Solid promo. Edge came across as the leader.

2a -- SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHARLIE HAAS vs. THE HIGHLANDERS - Tag Team Turmoil

WINNERS: Benjamin & Haas in 4:00.

2b -- HACKSAW DUGGAN & SUPER CRAZY vs. HAAS & BENJAMIN

If Haas & Benjamin are the World's Greatest Tag Team, what's the team name of Duggan & Crazy? Lots of "hooos" from the crowd for Duggan. Duggan opened, then tagged in Crazy at 2:00 who went to work on Haas with a flurry of offense. Benjamin interfered leading to a win for Haas on Crazy with a bridge.

WINNERS: Haas & Benjamin in 3:00.

2c -- HAAS & BENJAMIN vs. LANCE CADE & TREVOR MURDOCH

Cade looks like he ate Shannon Moore and then absorbed his facial features. Bad things are happening to him physically compared to two years ago, so whatever he's doing, he should stop. He doesn't look quite human or healthy anymore. But he is bigger! Haas hit a top rope dropkick on Cade at 4:00. Then Murdoch tagged in. Haas applied a leglock that torqued the body. Cool hold. As the ref turned to Benjamin, Cade came off the ropes with a forearm to Haas leading to Murdoch scoring the pin with his arm draped over his chest.

WINNERS: Cade & Murdoch.

2d -- CRYME TYME vs. CADE & MURDOCH

Cade & Murdoch hit a high-low on JTG at 2:00. They continued to dominate for a few minutes, including illegal double-team chokes. JTG surprised Murdoch with a small package, but the ref was distracted. Cade interfered to break it up. Murdoch got caught with a boot to the face as he leaped off the top rope toward JTG. JTG then hot-tagged Shad. Cryme Tyme dominated for a minute and went right to their finisher on Cade for the win.

WINNERS: Cryme Tyme in 5;00 (21:00 overall).

STAR RATING (**)

-Vince McMahon backstage told Coach that civility is missing from the world with Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell exchanging insults. Coach said it sounds like something coming out of "the WWE." McMahon suggested they resolved it the way everything should be resolved, with physical abuse. Vince offered Donald vs. Rosie on Raw tomorrow night. "I can make that happen," he said. Coach said he's brilliant. "Think about the television ratings!" said Vince. Coach said nobody says "You're fired" like he does. He gushed about it. Then Ron Simmons walked out and pointed at his t-shirt and said, "Damn!"

-At ringside, Lawler talked to Ross as if it was a sure thing that Donald vs. Rosie was going to happen.

3 -- KENNY DYKSTRA vs. RIC FLAIR

Dykstra came out in feather-boa lined robe. After clips aired of Dykstra beating up Flair, Dykstra said Flair was too injured to fight. Instead, Flair's music played and out he walked in an elaborate hot-pink robe. Ross said Flair won three of his titles before Dykstra was born. At 4:00 Dykstra applied a Boston Crab on Flair. Flair eventually reached the bottom rope to force a break. Dykstra went for a figure-four, but Dykstra turned it into an inside cradle for a two count. Flair went to the top rope, but Dykstra slammed him from the top. Flair came back with a clip of his legs, then applied the figure-four 9:00. That got a rise out of the fans. Dykstra dropped his shoulder down for a two count. Dykstra eventually reached the bottom rope to force a break. Flair released quickly and then chopped Dykstra in the corner. The ref scolded Flair for not breaking. Dykstra surprised Flair with a low blow, then small packaged Flair for the win. "Are you kidding me? Three in a row!" said a disgusted Ross.

WINNER: Dykstra in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4

-Nitro told Melina to go call Joey Mercury and tell him that they're going to make the Hardys pay. As she walked away, Victoria approached her and said that if they worked together, they could dominate the Women's Division. She offered a shot at the Women's Title if she helps her beat Mickey James.

-They showed a series of clips of Victoria marching through the various women contenders on her checklist.

4 -- MICKEY JAMES vs. VICTORIA - Women's Title match

Melina interfered on Victoria's behalf, but Victoria went for a Widow's Peak, but Mickey reversed into a sunset flip for a near fall. Mickey countered a powerslam with a DDT for the win. Meanwhile, Candice and Maria ran out to stop Melina from interfering further.

WINNER: Mickey in 7:00 to retain the Women's Title.

STAR RATING: *1/2

5 -- TRIPLE H & SHAWN MICHAELS vs. RANDY ORTON & EDGE

Triple H said they're showing the fans the sugary side of DX. Michaels said everybody likes the sugary side. Hunter said in a minute they're going to see the ass-kicking side of DX like they've never seen before. He finished with, "Let's get ready to suck it!" Michaels did his bit, then RKO came out. DX met RKO on the rampway. DX dominated early. After a minute of ringside brawling, they entered the ring to officially start the match at 9:30 ET. Michaels rammed Edge into the turnbuckle, and a second earlier audibly told Edge, "Into the turnbuckle." Sid-like in its sublety. Rated RKO dominated for several minutes early until Hunter hot-tagged Michaels at 8:00. He hit a top rope elbow on Edge, but Orton interfered before the pin attempt. Hunter entered the ring to clear the ring of Orton. Michaels then backdropped Edge over the top rope. Michaels hit a top rope flip onto both heels. If they had a commercial to get in, it would have come here. Hunter looked down at the pile of wrestlers from the second rope. Michaels ran toward that top rope for the dive rather gingerly. Edge speared Michaels off the ring apron to the floor. Orton KO'd Michaels with the belt. Hunter then came to Michaels's rescue at ringside. Michaels came up bleeding heavily from the mat. Michaels crawled his way back onto the ring apron. Edge punched away at him. Time for a sustained beating on Michaels. At 17:00 Hunter got a hot-tag. He clotheslined Edge over the top rope, then gave Orton a spinebuster for a two count. Hunter hurt his right leg badly on the move. He could barely stand. He managed to stand and give Edge another spinebuster. The crowd knew it was a real injury. He went for a Pedigree, but Orton gave him an RKO. Hunter couldn't go up for it. Michaels then surprised Orton with a superkick. Edge kneed Michaels from behind. Hunter lay still in the ring clutching his leg. Edge covered him and scored a two count. Hunter kicked out, but barely moved. Hunter crawled over to his corner and stood. Edge went for a spear. Hunter moved. Hunter could barely stand, but he went for a Pedigree. Orton entered with a chair. The ref saw him and Orton retreated at the last second. Awkward spot. Hunter made the cover, but Edge kicked out. Michaels ran into the ring and speared Orton off the ring apron to the floor. Back in the ring, Michaels hit the ref and grabbed a chair. He rammed Edge with it, then Orton. Orton came up bleeding very badly. Hunter stood and swung a chair at Edge. Hunter bashed Edge on the mat over and over as Michaels bashed Orton over and ovber. Hunter's left leg kept giving out as he swung the chair. Orton twitched as Edge lay KO'd on the mat. Michaels threw the top off the Spanish announce table. Hunter threw Edge to the floor. Then he threw Orton to the floor, but continued to move extremely gingerly. Hunter pretended to lift Edge onto the table, but Edge actually lifted himself onto the table himself. Michaels put Orton on the table. Hunter managed to stand on the table and set up a Pedigree. When he went for it, the table didn't break. Michaels climbed to the top rope and dove off with an elbow onto the bloodied Orton. That did break the table. Hunter stood on the English announce table as the heels lay knocked out. Hunter seemed to be computing the new WrestleMania main event possibilities in his head without him. Michaels also seemed a step off throughout the match.

WINNERS: Rated RKO via DQ (presumably, no decision was announced) in 22:00.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Okay formula match with good intensity for the first 15 minutes, but nothing spectacular. The finish was a mess as Hunter, probably unwisely, finished the match on his injured knee. Amateur assessment is that Hunter will be out for a long time and miss WrestleMania based on the way his leg buckled and got trapped on the Pedigree and how he worked the rest of the match. Michaels looked like he's ready for a few months off, too.

-Grisham interviewed John Cena backstage. He did a "silly" interview and asked Grisham if that was what he was looking for. He mocked Umaga's "first words" and talked about lighting shooting out of his ass. Then he got serious and intense and said all streaks come to an end and he will walk out of Kansas City as the champion.

6 -- CHRIS MASTERS vs. CARLITO (w/Torrie Wilson and Chloe the dog)

Carlito hit a nice double springboard moonsault at 2:00 for a near fall. Masters went for a Masterlock, but Carlito suplexed out of it. Pretty much out of nowhere Masters dropped down on Carlito's shoulders and grabbed his tights to score the pin. Afterward, Masters applied the Masterlock. Ross noted the hold has "never been officially broken." Ross said the ref could reverse the decision. Masters eventually released the hold and returned.

WINNER: Masters in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

7 -- JOHN CENA vs. UMAGA - WWE Hvt. Title match

Cena got in early offense, then ducked an Umaga charge and Umaga spilled to the floor. Umaga then went on sustained offense. He gave Cena a tilt-a-whirl sidewalk slam, which Ross heavily praised. At 9:00 Cena caught Umaga with a knee to the crotch as Umaga dropped down on him. Cena lifted Umaga, but he couldn't hold hi and he fell forward with Umaga landed on his head. Umaga knocked Cena out of the ring. Back in the ring, Umaga settled into a nerve hold. Cena eventually powered out and kicked Umaga in the gut. When he charged at Umaga, Umaga countered with a hammer to the face, taking Cena down and out. Umaga sat on the top rope, then dove at him with a spike. Cena moved. The ref began counting both men down. They got up and had a slugfest. Cena hit two clotheslines, but Umaga didn't go down. On the third clothesline attempt, Umaga punched him in the chest at 14:00. Cena came back with a slam, then he began his You Can't See Me sequence. He hit the fistdrop. Umaga came back with a side suplex before he could hit the FU. Umaga then hung Cena upside down in the corner of the ring and hit him with a flying headbutt. When Umaga charged Cena in the corner, Cena moved and then rolled up Umaga for a clean leverage three count. Umaga threw a fit at ringside.

WINNER: Cena in 17:00 to retain the WWE Title.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- A little one dimensional with the sustained beatdown by Umaga. Not bad. Perhaps satisfying for most WWE fans given the hype for Umaga as "unbeatable."

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "PPV Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on New Year's Revolution, click here.


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