By Wade Keller, Torch editor

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES PPV REPORT
NOVEMBER 26, 2006
LIVE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PA.
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, TORCH EDITOR

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-Michael Cole and JBL introduced the show. They threw to Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. Interesting for a dual brand PPV to see Cole get to do the intro.

1 -- RIC FLAIR & SGT. SLAUGHTER & DUSTY RHODES & RON SIMMONS (w/Arn Anderson) vs. SPIRIT SQUAD

The entrance set for Survivor Series is cool. Each legend got his own entrance to their theme song. Simmons took a finger to the eye by Mikey in the opening minutes, but came back and fended off multiple Squader attacks. When the fight went to ringside, Simmons and Mitch were both counted out. Simmons refused to leave and slammed Mitch to the mat, then threw Mitch out of the ring. Arn threw Mitch into the ringpost. He dragged him to the back. Lawler said he was being taken to the wood shed. At 3:00, the ref ordered Arn Anderson to return to the back. Arn threw a fit. The crowd chanted "bullsh--." Lawler said, "This is unusual. The ref saw everything that happened and acted on it." At 4:00, Sarge and Nick squared off. Nick saluted Sarge. Sarge shook his hand and then kicked him in the gut. Dusty tagged in and gave Nick a bionic elbow. Dusty tagged in Flair. Flair quickly tagged in Sarge, who applied the Cobra Clutch on Nick. Johnny kicked Sarge from behind while the ref was distracted, leading to Nicky scoring the pin to eliminate Sarge. Dusty entered and quickly hit Nicky with an elbow drop for the pin. Kenny pinned Dusty with a schoolboy at 9:00. That left Flair alone against Mikey, Kenny, and Johnny. Flair pinned Mikey with his feet on the ropes for leverage. Flair quickly finished all three off for the win, ending with a figure-four on Johnny. Kenny reversed Flair onto his stomach at which point the rest of the Squaders attacked him in a swarm.

WINNER: Flair & Dusty & Sarge & Simmons at 11:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Passable match, but barely. Really rudimentary, as you'd expect with the aged crew, but nothing was really accomplished. Just a time filler and a chance to see some old legends beat up a bunch of young wrestlers with potential.

-A video recap aired of the Chris Benoit-Chavo Guerrero/Vickie Guerrero storyline.

2 -- CHRIS BENOIT vs. CHAVO GUERRERO (w/Vickie Guerrero) - U.S. Title match

At 5:00 Benoit hit some suplexes, then signalled for the top rope headbutt. Vickie grabbed his leg, slowing him down long enough to give Chavo time to recover so when Benoit dove, Chavo moved. Chavo followed up with a sloppy frog splash, hitting his legs first, leading to a near fall. Benoit came back and attempted a Sharpshooter. Chavo kicked out, sending Benoit into Vickie on the ring apron, knocking her to the floor. Chavo schoolboyed Benoit for a near fall. Benoit, though, slipped on the Crossface for the win.

WINNER: Benoit at 7:00 to retain the U.S. Hvt. Title.

STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Just there, as often is the case for Chavo matches. Okay effort, but it felt pretty rehearsed and ordinary for a Benoit match.

-Todd Grisham interviewed Lita and Edge backstage. She insulted the fans of Philly as being the "stupidest" of all fans. Grisham asked if she reconsidered retirement. She said no. She still plans to beat Mickie and go down as the greatest women's champion ever. Edge said she cares about the respect of the company and her peers. Edge went on a rant about DX as Cryme Tyme snuck into Lita's locker room with an empty box. They came out a minute later with the box full of stuff. They did slapstick guilty smiles. Grisham asked what they were doing. They said they didn't see anything.

3 -- LITA vs. MICKIE JAMES -- WWE Women's Title

Lawler said regarding Lita: "I heard her diaphram has a odometer on it." Lots of near falls and non-stop action. Lita hit a moonsault for a near fall. Mickey came back and finished her with a DDT.

WINNER: Mickie James at 8:00 to capture the Women's Title.

STAR RATING: *1/2 --

-After the match, Lita insisted Lilian Garcia announcer her as the greatest women's champion ever. Cryme Tyme then came out and went through Lita's stuff, saying they were holding a "Ho-Sale." They pulled out a vaginal yeast infection medication. Lita denied it was hers. They sold it to a fan in the crowd for a dollar; the fan was holding a young kid. They spotted JBL and called him Mr. Money Bags. He said he's the only man in America without a pair of her panties. JBL sniffed them. Cryme Tyme said they smell like a rose. They took JBL's money, then threw the product into the crowd. JBL said, "I will dig up Johnny Cochran if I have to." They pulled out a vibrator. Great programming for a product watched by kids everywhere. This is the type of skit that causes parents to skip WWE PPVs. "It's cheap, it's wide, you can put your head in it," they said about the empty box, referring to it as "Lita's box." Ross said that is not how Lita wants to remember her final match. JBL ranted about them stealing from him. Cole laughed.

-A sitdown interview aired with Batista taped earlier in the day. Cole asked about whether having the title stripped by injury in this town had any psychological bearing on his mindset entering the match. Batista was frozen and didn't answer. Cole asked several other questions, bringing up that this was his final title shot. Batista stared straight ahead with no reaction. Cole just kept asking questions. Then they went to a clip of Booker and Batista brawling at the contract signing on Smackdown on Friday. They came back to Batista, and he finally intensely said that he was going to win the title.

4 -- DX & C.M. PUNK & MATT & JEFF HARDY vs. EDGE & RANDY ORTON & JOHNNY NITRO (w/Melina) & MIKE KNOX (w/Kelly Kelly) & GREGORY HELMS

DX's team came out first. They played to the crowd for pops, each picking section of the arena and asking for bursts of cheers one at a time. A loud "C.M. Punk" chant broke out. Hunter put his arm around Punk and said he needs to have a question answered. Punk said, casually: "Are you ready?" Hunter asked it louder and went into his full spiel, adding that Punk is "the future of ECW" and the Hardys are "Team Extreme." Hunter flirted with Kelly and asked her to expose her breasts. Hunter hid Michaels's eyes. Lawler said he hopes Knox lasts a long time so Kelly can stay out there. As Knox got jealous and shoved Hunter, Michaels surprised him with a superkick for the quick pin. DX's hitlist of marginalizing as many wrestlers as possible for no point whatsoever just expanded by one. It was a fun spot, but does it really help the product to take Knox, in a potential showcase moment on PPV, and treat him as a joke? Michaels surprised Melina at ringside by putting his arm around her. She thought it was Nitro, then freaked out like a spider landed on her shoulder when she realized it was Michaels. Michaels tagged in Jeff Hardy, which got a nice pop. A couple minutes later, Nitro threw a barrage of credible looking punches at Matt.

Matt tagged out to Punk, who got a big pop. He hit Nitro with a spin kick and a flying forearm. He followed with two knee lifts and then a flying knee in the corner followed by a bulldog. Matt yanked Nitro throat-first over the top rope, then Punk applied the Anaconda Vice for the tapout win at 5:00. Edge tagged in against Punk, then Orton, then Helms. Helms wrapped up Punk's head and torso with a front chancery and threw some knees, then a cool knee to Punk's jaw in a nice change of pace for aggressive offense. He tagged Orton back in. Michaels broke up a pin attempt on Punk. Edge went for a Spear, but Punk moved, so Edge went shoulder-first into the turnbuckle. Punk crawled over and hot-tagged Hunter. Hunter went to work on Helms with a high knee. Orton ran in, but Hunter took him down with a high knee. He set up a Pedigree, but Edge entered and dropped Hunter hard to the mat. Jeff and Shawn dove onto Edge and Orton at ringside. Ross said it was Team Extreme. Lawler corrected him. Hardy gave Helms a Twist of Fate, and Jeff followed with a Swanton Bomb, leading to Matt scoring the pin.

That left Edge and Orton against all five babyfaces. Edge and Orton grabbed their tag titles and walked to the back. Matt and Jeff attacked them from behind and dragged them back to the ring. Michaels superkicked Orton for the clean pin. That left Orton against all five babyfaces. Orton jumped into the crowd and ran. The Hardys and Punk caught up to him and dragged him back to the ring. Michaels nailed him with a superkick, then Hunter hit the Pedigree for the win. Lawler said that might be the first Survivor Series shutout in history.

WINNERS: DX & The Hardys & Punk in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good crowd-pleasing action. Surprisingly short given all of the talent in the match. That's among Punk's career highlights, sharing the stage with those four on a major PPV.

-MVP told Mr. Kennedy backstage that he has his back.

5 -- UNDERTAKER vs. MR. KENNEDY - First Blood Match

Taker tossed Kennedy out of the ring at the start of the match and rammed his face into the Spanish announcing table. Taker superplexed Kennedy in the ring at 4:00. Taker worked over Kennedy's ribs and kidney area, with Cole and JBL said he was going for internal injuries. Kennedy bled from his mouth at ringside. MVP ran up to him and covered his face with a towel. Cole and JBL pointed out the bleeding, but said ref Charles Robinson didn't see what was going on. Cole said Taker should have won the match. MVP then threw Kennedy back into the ring for further beating. Cole said that was MVP's way of getting even for Kennedy abandoning him in a tag match a few weeks back. JBL said Kennedy is seriously injured if he is bleeding internally. Kennedy dropped Taker across the exposed top turnbuckle. Taker sat up. The ref checked for blood. No blood. Kennedy punched away at Taker's forehead. MVP entered the ring with a chair. The ref yanked it away from him. MVP yanked the chair away from the ref and then bashed Taker with it. Cole said that wasn't his intended target. Taker came up bleeding heavily. Kennedy beat on Taker's forehead. The ref saw the blood and called for the bell. JBL called it the biggest comeback in sports. Afterward, Kennedy leaned over with his mic and said, "Mr. Kennedy!" Taker reached up and grabbed him by the throat. Taker gave Kennedy a post-match beating including a chairshot across Kennedy's skull followed by a Tombstone. JBL sold Taker's beating as "sick" and wondered why nobody came from the back to stop the brutality. He said the fans should be ashamed of themselves for cheering Taker.

WINNER: Kennedy in 10:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Well done spectacle match. Not great, but fulfilled its purpose well.

-A commercial aired for Roddy Piper's DVD.

-King Booker and Sharmell cut a promo backstage.

6 -- JOHN CENA & BOBBY LASHLEY & KANE & ROB VAN DAM & SABU vs. BIG SHOW & UMAGA & FINLAY & MVP & TEST

During MVP's ring intro, JBL said MVP has reason to look over his shoulder now that he's hit Taker with a chair. The only thing cheesier than MVP's wrestling trunks is that kids inflatable bouncy room he walks through on his way to the ring. In fairness, though, Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper were among the Vikings who for years ran through an inflatable Viking ship for years at the Metrodome during game intros. Umaga and Cena began. Finlay then tagged in. Cena tagged in RVD. Umaga grabbed a monitor from ringside and KO'd RVD with it, getting him DQ'd. That's a quick and easy way to avoid having to figure out how to keep him from jobbing or just as bad, standing there patiently waiting for tags like a normal man for 20 minutes. He nailed Cena with the monitor, and Cena ended up flat on his back at ringside. The match restarted with Finlay vs. RVD at 2:00. Cena was still motionless at ringside. RVD finished MVP with a Five-Star. Test then blind-sided RVD with a big boot and scored a quick pin. At ringside, Lashley speared Test. Back in the ring, Sabu hit a springboard DDT for the pin. Sabu's momentum ended quickly with a Big Show chokeslam at 6:00, leaving it three-on-two: Show & Finlay vs. Cena & Lashley & Kane. Kane and Show grabbed each other's throats. The Little Bastard ran into the ring and between Kane and Show, then as the ref was distracted by him, Finlay hit Kane with his stick, then Show chokeslammed him for the pin. Show powerslammed Cena and tagged in Finlay. Show and Finlay beat on Cena for a couple minutes, then Cena hot-tagged Lashley who powerslammed Finlay for a near fall, broken up by Show. Finlay threw the Little Bastard at Cena. Cena caught him and set up an FU. Show broke that up. Cena and Lashley double tackled Show to the mat for a one count. Cena and Lashley gave Show a double-team DDT for a two count. Cena and Lashley were not in sync with their double-team moves. Lashley and Cena then worked together to give Show a vertical suplex. Cena got booed as he went into his routine. Show got up and grabbed Cena's throat. Lashley intervened and then gave Show an FU for the win.

WINNERS: Cena & Lashley & Kane & RVD & Sabu in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Another match that was all action, but very formula in nature. Nothing surprising. By the book. Nothing wrong with it if you're totally into the current product and its characters. But even then, nothing great.

-A promo aired for the ECW Elimination Chamber.

-A feud recap aired for Booker-Batista.

7 -- KING BOOKER vs. BATISTA -- World Hvt. Title match

It's good to see the Smackdown title match get the top billing on this show. It helps offset the image that SD is always subservient to Raw matches and Raw's top stars. The question is whether they can put together a main event worthy showing. During Booker's ring entrance, Batista charged at him on the ramp to jump-start the match. Batista dominated early, but Booker took over at 5:00 with an eye poke. Booker scored some methodical two counts, which sounds like a contradiction, but they pulled it off. He went into a cobra clutch on the mat at 10:00. At 11:00, Batista powered batista to the mat with a powerslam, then worked him over with clotheslines and forearms. Seriously, Batista's offense is just like a big, muscular indy wrestler in his first dozen matches. Batista kicked Booker to ringside, then rammed him into the steps. Batista leaped off the top rope with a flying shoulder. Cole said, "I've never seen Batista do that. We have a new champion." Of course, that led to Booker kicking out. Batista scored another two count right after that. He followed up with a Batista bomb. Awkwardly executed. Booker grabbed the bottom rope to stop the count before three at 14:00. Sharmell slipped the World Title belt to Booker. The ref turned to Sharmell. Batista set her up for a Batista Bomb. Cole said, "She deserves it!" Batista dropped her. Booker flew at Batista with the belt, but Batista ducked. Batista then KO'd Booker with it and scored the pin.

WINNER: Batista in 15:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Mediocre match. Slow paced. Dare I say yawn-inducing. Batista just looks really rough out there with almost everything he does. The contrast between this match and what Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe did last week is incredible.

REPLAY RECOMMENDATION: No. Utterly skippable, unless you're totally into the current product and want to see a show with no surprises or storyline advances and only a few doses of athleticism.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "PPV Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Survivor Series, click here.

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