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KELLER'S TNA NO SURRENDER PPV REPORT 9/24: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV

Sep 24, 2006 - 10:10:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor

TNA NO SURRENDER PPV REPORT
SEPTEMBER 24, 2006
LIVE FROM ORLANDO, FLA.


-A very well produced video aired, but way over the top, with clips of presidents talking about war from Kennedy to Bush, and weaved into LAX starting a revolution in TNA. Too heavy-handed.

-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show.

1 -- A1 vs. ERIC YOUNG

WINNER: Young in 7:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- The match least deserving of being on a PPV of any PPV match this year, not due to match quality, but it just felt like the ultimate prelim match.

-Tenay and West previewed the rest of the PPV line-up.

-They went to a clip from the preshow segment where fans were bashing a Jeff Jarrett doll and showing off their strength.

-Jeremy Borash interviewed Jim Cornette in his office. Cornette was on the phone and said, "Everything's great. Tonight, everything changes." Cornette said the Internet's been buzzing all week. He said a major announcement will be made that will change the face and landscape of pro wrestling worldwide, not just in the U.S. He promised viewers the announcement will be made by a wrestler who's not on tonight's card that will shock the world. He said TNA is headed straight to the top. This creates a possibility of Sting, for instance, reading an announcement since he's not on the card, and he could be announcing Vince Russo has been hired. I'm just saying that can't be ruled out based on their description, even though I was told days ago by someone with knowledge of the situation that Russo hiring was absolutely not the big announcement and that the actual announcement would not be a letdown. Check out my blog update for more on this situation.

I hope TNA realizes that the way they are hyping this, they are setting up what could have been a big announcement to be a letdown relative to the hype. At this point, I'm expecting Hulk Hogan to walk out and announce he and Ted Turner have purchased controlling interest in TNA.

2 -- JAY LETHAL vs. PETEY WILLIAMS

Williams got to the ring, but Lethal didn't come out to his music. They went backstage to Dutt, Lethal, and Sabin horsing around backstage. Dutt was threatening to fart on Lethal's face, I think. Jerry Lynn walked in to discipline them and chew them out for not taking their lives seriously. Sabin was pretty funny as he told Jerry he "forgot this chip." He held up a corn chip as Lynn walked away, disgusted. Petey was drinking from a bottle of water, and he suspected that the Jackass gang may have put laxatives in it since Dutt was holding up a laxative box backstage. Lethal walked to the ring and was tying his shoe as he entered the ring, showing he wasn't taking things seriously or preparing adequately. Within a few minutes, Petey began clutching his stomach, and then his butt, selling the idea that the laxative was taking effect. West said it's nice to see that happening to a former member of Team Canada after all the things they've done. West said things could get nasty. Tenay said, "Let's not go there, at least not yet." Williams was unable to execute some of his offense for fear of having an accident. Lethal began waving his hand in front of his face as iff Petey was stinking up the ring. Petey hit the tuck DDT for a near fall. Petey signalled for the Canadian Destroyer, but seemed to be fighting an accident. The fans chanted, "Hold it in! Hold it in!" He set up the Destroyer, but he couldn't do it. Lethal then schoolboyed him for the win. Dutt ran to the ring and laughed uproariously with Lethal at their plan working.

WINNER: Lethal in 8:00.

STAR RATING: * -- I don't know quite what to say about that. I will say that Dutt, Lethal, and Sabin are playing their parts really well.

-Borash interviewed Rhino backstage. He was in a rage, but when is he not? He talked about being deeply personally hurt by Christian turning on him.

-A video aired previewing the Raven vs. Abyss vs. Brother Runt match.

3 -- ABYSS ("Father" James Mitchell) vs. RAVEN vs. BROTHER RUNT

Abyss and Raven beat on Runt early. A few minutes into the match, Runt used low blows to fight back. Raven put a gladiator helmet on and headbutted Runt. Raven and Abyss brawled up to the stage entrance. Abyss put Raven on a table and set up a ladder. Raven switched places, but before he could dive onto Abyss on the table, Runt came from the roof of the entrance stage and landed on Abyss. Well, he overshot him and basically knocked him off the table, but didn't break it. Raven then walked over to a staging area and wrapped a chain around Runt's neck, then lifted him and hanged him. Runt made a comeback, but Raven reversed Runt off the staging and onto stacked tables below. One of the stacked tables broke as Runt tumbled to the floor. Raven dragged Runt back to the ring at 11:00. Raven made the cover. Mitchell put Runt's leg on the bottom rope to stop the count. Abyss then entered the ring and gave a bloodied Raven a surprise Black Hole Slam for the win.

WINNER: Abyss in 12:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Stunt weapons match. Fine for what it was, if that's what you're looking for.

-Borash interviewed Jeff Jarrett. Borash sarcastically told Jarrett, "Nice outfit." He was wearing his "JJ" t-shirt and a vest that looked like it was made of a disco ball. Jarrett said he's wearing the t-shirt because someone has to sell merchandise around here because nobody else is. Jarrett said he is honest with fans, telling them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. Jarrett said TNA management is making people pay $29.95 to hear the announcement. (Shouldn't Jarrett know the price of the PPVs?) Jarrett said if you go online any website will tell you what the announcement is. Jarrett asked Borash who he thinks the wrestler "not on the card" is who's making the announcement. Jarrett said he assumes it's Sting. Well, that eliminates Sting as the option. Young interrupted and said he was there to help. Jarrett told him to check every door in the arena and the parking lot to find Sting and be sure he doesn't steal his thunder or interfere in his match. I'm sure of the wisdom of pointing out to paying customers that they didn't need to order the PPV to hear the announcement since every wrestling website will be reporting the surprise. Not that PPV customers didn't think of that, too, but it shouldn't be rubbed in their faces if they ordered it anyway. Not sure of the logic behind saying that. Someone needs to say, "There's nothing like seeing history unfold live before your very eyes rather than read about it after the fact."

4 -- TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL: B.G. James & Kip James, The Naturals, America's Most Wanted, Normal Smiley & Shark Boy, Elix Skipper & David Young, Maverick Matt & Kazarian, Lance Hoyt & Ron Killings, Johnny Devine & Alex Shelley.

Shark Boy & Smiley were the first to be both eliminated. Storm shoved Chase Stevens off the top rope and he flew into the crowd. One fan stayed down and looked like he was either hurt or selling an injury for a lawsuit or at least some free merchandise and autographs. TNA is just asking for trouble with spots like that. Diamond & Young was the second duo to be eliminated. There were several relatively fast eliminations thereafter leading to a brawl among the eliminated on the rampway. Chris Harris, Kip, and Andy Douglas were the three remaining wrestlers. Kip eliminated Harris but the ref didn't see it, then Harris eliminated Kip, and that left Harris vs. Andy Douglas, which meant their partners could return to the match for a regular tag match. Stevens, though, grabbed at his ankle at ringside, indicating he couldn't help his partner. AMW gave Douglas the whirly bird, then set up the Death Sentence. The James Gang, though, interfered to prevent AMW's win due to being screwed earlier. Stevens then escaped an Eye off the Storm attempt and schoolboyed him for a surprise pin.

WINNER: The Naturals in 15:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- A bit chaotic, but not boring.

5 -- SENSHI vs. CHRIS SABIN -- X Division Title match

This is an important match for both wrestlers to try to establish the X Division is actually alive and relevant since the departures of Samoa Joe, A.J. Styles, and Christopher Daniels from the division. They had some nice feel-out early exchanges. Senshi roundhouse kicked Sabin's upper thigh, and Sabin bailed out to sell it. In the ring, they exchanged some nice spots in second gear. Senshi went on sustained offense. They exchanged mid-ring chops. At 7:00 Sabin made a comeback and went for a dive onto Senshi at ringside, but Senshi met him with a kick. Sabin threw a series of punches at 9:00, but Senshi turned an Irish whip into a round kick. He followed with a double-stomp off the top rope onto Sabin who was in 619 position on the ropes. West said: "This is not typical X Division. This has almost become a fight." I wouldn't consider that the best wording because it implies that X Division wrestling isn't usually "a fight." At 13:00 Sabin hit a springboard dropkick on Senshi for a near fall. Senshi hit three roundhouse kicks to the chest leading to a near fall. Senshi followed up with a cartwheel roundkick on Sabin as Sabin climbed to the top rope. He followed with a superplex attempt. Sabin blocked it and knocked Senshi upside down in the corner. Sabin then hit his hesitation basement dropkick to Senshi leading to a near fall. Senshi fought back right away with his double stomp, with a mid-air scream for good measure. As he climbed to the top rope, Lethal and Dutt ran to ringside to distract the ref. Some fans began booing. They threw an inflatable doll into the ring which Senshi mistakenly almost double-stomped. Sabin then hit Senshi with a surprise clothesline. He threw the blow-up doll on Senshi, then went to the top rope. The crowd began a "This is stupid" chant. Good for them. Senshi got up and dropkicked Sabin instead, then covered him with is feet on the middle rope for added leverage to win.

WINNER: Senshi in 17:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Good match, but the blow-up doll finish was lame. It just doesn't fit a gameplan of trying to win a match, so it makes Sabin and his two cohorts look foolish and immature. If this storyline is a means to an end, which includes one of those three breaking away to become serious, it might pay off, especially if they come out of this with better defined personalities, but in the mean time, they're hardly admirable babyfaces. One of the keys to any successful booking formula is defining the heros/babyfaces/protagonists and villiains/heels/antagonists, and making sure the heros are admirable and the heels aren't, and that fans have a reason to root for the babyfaces and want to see the heels lose. That isn't established in this Senshi vs. Sabin/Dutt/Lethal storyline. It also doesn't send a message of prestige regarding the X Division to have it before Rhino vs. Christian and a non-title Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe match. They can justify that all the want, but if they were doing the ideal job promoting the X Division, there would be no justification.

-Borash interviewed Christian backstage. He said he believes Sting will show up and try to steal the show. He said it won't matter because he'll have already wrestled and that's the peak of the show. He turned to Rhino's comments. He said he seized an opportunity, and it's too bad Rhino doesn't. Christian said they were brothers, but this isn't about Rhino, it's about his (Christian's) legacy. He said he is TNA's past, present, and future.

6 -- RHINO vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE

Christian came out first, then Rhino charged to the ring. Christian bailed out and took his time returning to the ring. They each went for early attempts at their finishers, The Gore and the Unprettier. Rhino took control for a couple minutes. They brawled into the crowd for several minutes at 8:00. Christian came back with an implant DDT on the rampway. Christian then went on sustained offense leading to a two count after a missile dropkick. West talked about how disappointing it was that Christian became an "asshole." Tenay said he said it better than he could have. Rhino went on sustained offense after that. Rhino mistakenly knocked the ref down with a clothesline at 14:00. Christian grabbed two chairs. Rhino avoided a chairshot and then hit his Gore. The ref was still down. A frustrated Rhino set Christian face-first on a chair, then wound up to hit Christian. The ref got up and yanked the chair from him Christian then gave Rhino a low blow and an Unprettier on the chair. The ref crawled over and counted three.

WINNER: Christian in 16:00.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Above-average, but not the buzz-generating match these two need to rise to becoming better draws and hotter acts. Pretty much by the numbers action you'd expect from these two. Not bad, but not great.

-They went outside to Borash who said a nice car was found parked outside the arena. Eric Young suspected it was Sting's. LAX told Young to get out of their hair. Konnan then cut a promo about their Ultimate X match. It makes you worried that the "big announcement" will be from a wrestler declaring his intentions to "rid wrestling of Jeff Jarrett" after Jarrett vs. Joe ends, and that everything will point toward the big surprise being just another way for Jarrett to justify his continued role as main eventer and centerpiece heel of TNA for many months to come.

-Back to Tenay and West at ringside who said the Ultimate X match was up next. That's lame that Jarrett-Joe is on before the Ultimate X match. West introduced his pretaped interview with Styles and Daniels in the ring in an empty Impact Zone before the event. Daniels said it doesn't matter that they're Latino. He said he could be of any race, but he'd still be an asshole. Daniels showed his mic skills off with that piercing stare.

-A video package aired on Ultimate X and the feud between the two teams in the match.

7 -- LAX (Homicide & Hernandez w/Konnan) vs. A.J. STYLES & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS -- NWA World Tag Team Champions

They opened with a four-way brawl. Daniels and Styles knocked Homicide and Hernandez out of the ring in the opening minute. Styles climbed the cables early, but LAX swung him off and Styles fell throat-first over the top rope. Daniels took control, but then got hit by a Homicide dive through the ropes at ringside. Styles then flip dove onto Homicide at ringside. Daniels applied a Koji clutch on Hernandez in center-ring. Homicide broke it up. LAX took control and brought a ladder into the ring. Before they could climb it, Styles and Daniels made a comeback. LAX took out Daniels and Styles again. When Homicide climbed the cable, Styles and Daniels returned to knocked him off. Homicide was next to climb the cables. Styles met him at the top and they both crashed to the mat with Homicide having Styles in a neckbreaker position for the landing. Daniels then climbed the tables, but Hernandez yanked him onto his shoulders. Homicide bulldogged him off of Hernandez's shoulders. Hernandez climbed the table again and hung there as Styles yanked him off by the legs and flat onto Homicide on the mat. Daniels saved Styles from a Border Toss by Hernandez. Styles then frog splashed Hernandez. Daniels followed up with the BME. Styles then hit a Spinal Tap (corkscrew splash off the top rope). Homicide returned and gave Daniels a neckbreaker. Styles leaped off the edge of the ring apron and gave Homicide a Styles Clash through a table at ringside. Sweet looking spot. Daniels climbed toward the cables. Konnan entered the ring and distracted Daniels. Daniels stood at the very top of the truss and dove onto the cross of the cables and grabbed the belt, then jumped to the mat to win. "Unfreakin' real!" yelled West. Tenay said that was the riskiest move they've ever seen in an Ultimate X match. Styles's music played as they celebrated.

WINNERS: Styles & Daniels in 15:00 to capture the NWA Tag Team Titles.

STAR RATING: ***3/4 -- Satisfying match with an impressive and innovative finish by Daniels.

-A commercial aired for Bound for Glory. As they went to it, they showed a "Spy Hunter" ad on a screen in the arena. The Rock is in that movie.

-A feud recap aired for Joe-Jarrett.

-They went backstage where Young said he couldn't find Sting anywhere. Jarrett asked if he looked in the rafters. Young said, "You think he's up there?" A frustrated Jarrett said Sting made a career of being in the rafters. Young ran up there to look for him.

8 -- JEFF JARRETT vs. SAMOA JOE -- Fans' Revenge Match

They really turned down the hype since that opening half hour regarding the big surprise announcement. Did they tone down the talk because they didn't want to distract from the PPV matches, or because they realized they were overselling it and it wouldn't live up to their hype? Jarrett wore several layers of t-shirts to protect himself from the whips. At 2:00, after Joe dominated the early minutes, Jarrett was knocked to ringside, where fans whipped him. It didn't look like they hurt much. Jarrett used one of the straps against Joe inside the ring. Jarrett got in sustained offense against for a few minutes, but Joe came back at 6:00 and yanked off Jarrett's t-shirts. Jarrett came back with a dropkick and then choked Joe with the t-shirts. Joe came back and held Jarrett against the ropes in the ring. He invited the fans to enter the ring and whip Jarrett. A parade of fans entered and took their shots. Jarrett grabbed his guitar from ringside and swung at Joe. Joe ducked and applied a sleeper. Joe sunk to the mat and tightened his grip. Jarrett put his foot over the bottom rope to force a break. Joe took his time releasing. Joe shoved the ref in frustration. Jarrett then gave Joe a Stroke onto the guitar which looked like it hurt about as much as a pie to the face. Joe kicked out, and Tenay and West couldn't even muster fake amazement because it looked so lame. Joe and Jarrett got into a slapfest. Jarrett set up a second rope Stroke, but Joe escaped, hit a roundkick, and hit the Musclebuster for the win.

WINNER: Samoa Joe in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Just kinda there. A Jarrett-style match more than a classic Joe-style match.

-Jim Cornette walked out and announced that due to the fans' dedication over the years, TNA Impact goes to prime time at 9 p.m. on November 16. Cornette told Jarrett that wasn't the big announcement. Then a Kurt Angle video aired. The voiceover said: "He is the former heavyweight champion and an Olympic Gold Medalist and arguably the greatest wrestler in the industry today." Shadowy images of Angle aired, then the camera zoomed in on him and he said, "It's real. It's damn real!" He put his mouthguard and laughed as the show ended. He was not at the building, as was rumored "the big surprise" would be.


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