PPV REPORTS KELLER'S 12/5 TNA PPV Report : Ongoing "virtual time" analysis of live event
Dec 5, 2004 - 9:56:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
TNA PPV REPORT
DECEMBER 5, 2004
LIVE FROM ORLANDO, FLA.
-The show opened with clips of Randy Savage talking about returning to wrestling and how he had to stop Kevin Nash and Scott Hall from trying to eliminate the future of wrestling. A.J. Styles talked about how Savage "paved the path" for wrestlers like him.
-A skit aired of Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Jeff Jarrett dressed up as Elvis driving in a fake car making "King of Wrestling" references. It was meant to be cheesy and it accomplished its intent.
-A fake remake aired of Abyss approaching Vince McMahon and Triple H backstage with balloons. They showed the Vince imitator from behind as he cackled. The Hunter imitator, wielding a sledgehammer, backed down from the much larger Abyss after spouting some of his catch phrases.
-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show and previewed the line-up.
1 -- B.G. JAMES & RON KILLINGS vs. ERIC YOUNG & BOBBY ROODE (a/k/a Team Canada, w/Scott D'Amore)
James did his pre-match mic work and the crowd enthusiastically took part in reciting the well-known lines. Tenay said that Konnan was absent due to a separated shoulder. In reality, Konnan is wrestling in Mexico tonight. Killings sold for the heels during the body of the match. He hit a missile dropkick and hot-tagged James at 6:00. James punched away at both heels. At 7:30 four-way action broke out. Killings gave Roode a dropkick as James held him in the air. Before the cover, D'Amore crawled into the ring. That distracted Killiongs. James then set up the Pump-Handle Slam. Johnny Devine ran out and broke a hockey stick across James's back as the ref tended to D'Amore. Roode then made the pin.
WINNERS: Team Canada at 8:28.
STAR RATING: * -- With a PPV audience, they have to assume these are veteran, dedicated TNA fans, so they could have come up with a better finish than Team Canada's usual match finish with the D'Amore interference and hockey stick weapon.
-Shane Douglas, with his cartoonishly absurd facial expressions, interviewed Dusty Rhodes. It's hard to steal the show during a Dusty interview, but Douglas's facial expressions were so ridiculous, I barely heard a word Dusty said. Dusty talked his usual gibberish hyping the event as big time and talking about "hitting the internet like a crazy machine."
-A feature aired on "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka, Sonjay Dutt, Kid Kash, and the X Division. Sonjay Dutt said whenever he flies off the top rope, it's a homage to Superfly.
2 -- KID KASH & MICHAEL SHANE & KAZARIAN (w/Traci) vs. SONNY SIAKI & SONJAY DUTT & HECTOR GARZA
Kash and Sonjay, the two most exciting wrestlers in this tag match, opened up the match with some great exchanges. Pretty much non-stop action for the opening five minutes. Dutt took a sustained beating for several minutes. Dutt made a comeback at 8:30 with a series of punches against Shane, but Shane tagged out to Kazarian and he continued to work over Dutt's left arm. Traci interfered. Eventually Dutt hot-tagged out. The babyfaces hit a series of spots including a Garza moonsault (with a cool overhead camera shot) and Dutt being tossed by his partners onto heels at ringside. In the end, Garza hit his tornado corkscrew splash for the win.
WINNERS: Dutt & Garza & Siaki at 10:55.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good action. Not enough time for anyone to stand out all that much, but Garza hit nice spots and Dutt played a good sympathetic babyface with nice athleticism and fire. The rest blended in.
-A quick generic Savage promo aired.
-Scott Hudson interviewed D'Amore and Petey Williams backstage.
3 -- MONTY BROWN vs. ABYSS -- Thumb Tack Match
Brown did a little mic work before the match, then challenged Abyss, already in the ring, to come and get him. Abyss met him on the ramp. When Abyss took early control, West wondered if Abyss should have even been in the match given his rib injury. Abyss gave Brown a sitdown splash on a chair over Brown's chest for a two count. A minute later, Abyss went for the same move, but Brown tilted the chair on its side and Abyss's crotch took the impact. Brown then gave Abyss a chairshot and powerbombed Abyss onto the chair in mid-ring. A "TNA, TNA" chant broke out. Abyss surprised Brown with a powerslam when Brown was going for a Pounce and scored a near fall. Abyss propped a chair in the corner, but Brown reversed Abyss into it. Brown then gave Abyss his Pounce, knocking Abyss to ringside. Brown set up a table against the ropes in the ring. When Brown dove at Abyss, Abyss moved and Brown landed on the table breaking it. A minute later, Brown poured thumb tacks over the mat. Abyss set up Brown for a Black Hole Slam. Brown blocked it, then took off Abyss's shirt. Brown set up Abyss for an Alphabomb, but Abyss blocked it. Abyss then set up Brown for a powerbomb, but Brown reversed Abyss onto the tacks for the win. Unfortunately (or fortunately) Abyss missed most of the tacks. The announcers pointed that out. Abyss rolled around on them to draw some blood and add some visual punch.
WINNER: Brown at 11:18.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- It started off solid and got better.
-Backstage, the Hunter and Vince impersonators searched backstage for the tape of the TNA personnel approaching WWE wrestlers at Universal Studios a few weeks back. The Hunter impersonator smashed a tape. Vince then complained that he destroyed a "Best of D-Ray 3000" tape by mistake. They continued on their quest for the tape.
-Tenay and West said the real tape would be played later.
4 -- PAT KENNEY & JOHNNY B. BADD vs. GLENN GILBERTI & JOHNNY SWINGER (a/k/a The NYC)
Jacqueline was special referee. Basic tag match action you'd expect from these four. Eventually Jackie had enough of Gilberti and slammed him, leading to Gilberti getting pinned.
WINNERS: Kenney & Badd at 7:50.
STAR RATING: *
-The Kings of Wrestling threw Savage into a car and it drove away. West and Tenay acted disgusted.
5 -- DALLAS PAGE vs. RAVEN
PAGE ONE: They punched each other. Page knocked the ref down. They brawled up the ramp. PAGE TWO: Back in the ring Raven took control by bashing Page in the head several times with his gladiator helmet. Erik Watts did commentary at ringside. PAGE THREE: Raven gave Page a running knee. Page took an awkward bump on Raven's drop toe hold into the chair in center ring. PAGE FOUR: Page made a comeback at 6:00 with a series of punches. Raven stopped Page's momentum with a mule kick then rolled up Page for a near fall. Raven superkicked Page and scored a near fall at 8:15. Tenay said Raven was starting to show signs of frustration. PAGE FIVE: Page surprised Raven with a Diamond Cutter for a near fall. Two druids walked to ringside. Tenay said it was one of Raven's henchmen. Raven gave Page an Evenflow DDT for a near fall. Raven rolled near a druid. Erik Watts ran into the ring. The druids went after Watts, but Watts clotheslined both of them and then chokeslammed them. PAGE SIX: Watts clotheslined Page. Tenay said he was shocked because he thought Watts was there to help Page. Page came back and gave a Diamond Cutter to Watts (or a Stone Cutter, as West called it mistakenly). Page then gave Raven a Diamond Cutter for the win. Page celebrated in the crowd as a knockoff of his "Smells Like Teen Spirit" intro song from his WCW days.
WINNER: Page at 11:55.
STAR RATING: **1/4 -- I suspect it followed Page's infamous match-script perfectly move-for-move.
-Backstage, Traci offered cookies to Vince and Triple H in a black and white "GTV" footage. Vince knocked the tray of cookies into Traci. Vince continued to be upset that he couldn't find the tape.
6 -- PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Chris Sabin) vs. CHRIS SABIN -- X Title match
Hot opening few minutes. At 4:00 Sabin dove from the railing onto Williams at ringside, landing on some stray thumbtacks. When the crowd seemed split in its support of the wrestlers, Tenay said that's because the fans respect good action and both wrestlers' hard work. There were battling chants of "Let's Go Sabin" and "Let's Go Petey." Sabin exploded with a spinning enzuigiri and then hit a running powerbomb for a nice near fall at 13:00. Sabin skinned the cat and then flipped onto Williams at ringside. Tenay and West were breathless at this point. Tenay said the were scared to go to any slo-mo replays for fear of missing another hot move. The crowd broke into a "This is awesome!" chant. Williams reversed Sabin into a sharpshooter. Sabin escaped and then quickly went for a superplex. Williams turned it into a sunset flip into a Canadian Destroyer. Sabin hit a piledriver for a convincing near fall at 17:00. Sabin set up Cradle Shock, but D'Amore intervened. As the ref yelled at D'Amore, Williams pulled brass knuckles out of his trunks and KO'd Sabin for the win. Terrible finish.
WINNER: Williams at 18:11.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Really good match, but the D'Amore finishes are beyond stale at this point and it really took the wind out of the sails of the fans. That match deserved to have a clean fall as with five more minutes of convincing false finishes and a better eventual clean finish would have put this over four stars easily. The crowd really helped the match.
-Backstage, a midget knocked on Vince's door. He said he was a senior TNA official. He took Vince down with a cookie sheet and then walked away. Vince shouted for his son-in-law to save him.
-A video feature aired on the Kings of Wrestling.
7 -- JEFF HARDY & A.J. STYLES & RANDY SAVAGE vs. KEVIN NASH & SCOTT HALL & JEFF JARRETT
Everyone but Savage came out. The crowd stood and watched, looking for Savage. They didn't seem pleased at all that he wasn't there for the start of the match considering the PPV was sold largely based on his appearance. Hall and Nash were wearing full Elvis-style jumpsuits and came out to "The Flying Elvises" song. Between Jarrett with the guitar and Hall and Nash's outfits, Honky Tonk Man may have a copyright infringement case. Jarrett began against Styles. Styles did a drop down as Jarrett rebounded off the ropes and then nailed him with a big dropkick. Jarrett tagged in Hall. Styles dropkicked Hall, then shoved him into the corner where Nash was standing. Nash put on a cocky smile and climbed over the top rope into the ring. Nash kneed Styles, then elbowed the back of his head, then punched him, then went for a snake-eyes. Styles escaped. A five-way brawl broke out briefly, then Hardy tagged in officially against Nash. Nash gave Hardy a big boot. Jarrett tagged in and gave Hardy the Ron Garvin Stomp series. That's new for Jarrett. Jarrett did the Fargo Strut, then tagged in Hall. Tenay mentioned again that Savage had been kidnapped. Tenay and West weren't talking enough about Savage's absence, which should have been played up as a bigger deal. If a star wrestler is kidnapped and it's done in front of a camera by two of his scheduled opponents, that ought to be treated as a bigger deal. Hall grabbed Hardy's leg and then playfully slapped at his face. Hardy jumped into a reverse sidekick and made a hot-tag to Styles. Jarrett tagged in and faced Styles. When Styles went for a springboard, Nash shoved him off balance as he bounced on the top rope. That gave Jarrett a chance to take control at 9:15. Hall tagged in, obviously called a spot, and then caught Styles in mid-air and gave him an overhead slam. Nash tagged in and went into is corner series, minus the knees because TNA couldn't afford to pay for that much effort. He then tagged Jarrett back in. Styles tagged in Hardy at 13:30, but the ref didn't see it so he disallowed it. Eventually Hardy did get the legal tag and went to work on all three heels. Hardy gave Jarrett the laziest whip into the ropes you'll ever see. It was more of a light shove. Nash yanked the ref out of the ring as Hardy covered Jarrett. Styles rammed Nash into the ringpost. Hall bashed Hardy with a guitar, knocking him off the top rope. Hardy landed on Jarrett, who was KO'd inside the ring. Styles dove onto Hall. Savage walked out wearing black pants and a black shirt. He looked really, really skinny. He should have kept the jacket on. He punched Hall and Nash, then put a sleeper on Jarrett. Hardy and Styles put sleepers on Hall and Nash, too. Savage gave Jarrett a leverage pin for the win. On a 1-100 scale, with 100 being blown away impressive and 1 being shockingly lame, Savage looked like a 3 and contributed to the match at a 2. That didn't stop Tenay from making a big deal out of Savage pinning the NWA Champion. Tenay asked if that made Savage the no. 1 contender. West said, "Why not?" Well, I think every viewer can answer that question easily. Consider the credibility of West and Tenay now at 1, even worse than Savage's look and performance.
WINNERS: Savage & Styles & Hardy at 18:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Other than the farce that was Savage's performance, and the horrible credibility-killing reaction by Tenay and West, the actual match was passable comedy. Styles and Hardy managed to avoid being too badly damaged, but it's not as if Hall and Nash went out of their way to give them any rub (as if that's really something they have left to give at this point).
-A plug aired for the January 16 TNA "Final Resolution" PPV.
-A tape aired of the Vince impersonator being loaded into an ambulance.
-Dusty Rhodes introduced the tape of the controversial WWE incident. Shane Douglas, Abyss, and Traci walked up to a catering area where the WWE wrestlers and personnel were. The faces of the WWE people were all blurred out, so it was ultimately pretty pointless if you didn't know the full story and almost pointless if you knew the full story. Douglas said he wanted to talk to Vince McMahon. "He is a stand-up guy, but sometimes he sits down to aim," said Konnan. James said, "He may remember me. I made him a lot of money." Tenay asked, "Why would WWE threaten to sue us over that. We were just bringing in the welcome wagon? It's not like we drove a tank up to WWE headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut." Nice comment from Tenay, pointing out the hypocrisy of WWE in threatening to sue.
8 -- AMERICA'S MOST WANTED (James Storm & Chris Harris) vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & PRIME TIME -- Cage Match
Lots of blood and intense brawling. There was a handcuff hidden under a towel in the corner which was used against Storm. The overhead camera provided nice angles. By the five minute mark the wrestlers were moving around like it was the 20 minute mark of a brutal cage match. They went a little quickly into the heavy blood and beaten silly stage of the match. Primetime and Daniels hit some double-team spots on Harris for near falls, including the Death Sentence, using AMW's finisher against them at 14:00. The crowd went into chants of "TNA, TNA" after more hot moves. Daniels hit his Angel's Wings for a near fall on Storm. Daniels climbed the cage, but Harris met him on the top rope. They two fought at the top of the cage. Primetime then climbed to the top of the cage. He tried to find his footing, but struggled for a while. He eventually stood on top of the cage, but rather than quickly fly to the mat, he literally walked the side of the cage in an amazing (and scary) feat and then headscissored Harris to the mat. Primetime landed relatively safely on his knees. "Words cannot describe it!" shouted Tenay. That was perhaps the high-risk move of the year. He wouldn't have made it another step. Daniels followed up with an elbow off the top of the cage at 16:00. They the hit a "Tower of Doom" four-man stacked suplex, prompting a "holy sh--" chant. It was Harris on bottom, then Primetime, then Storm, and Daniels on top. Tenay declared it one of the greatest matches in TNA history. Harris handcuffed Daniels in the corner. Harris and Storm then signalled for the Death Sentence on Primetime, but instead did the Powerplex for the win, stealing Triple X's finisher
WINNERS: AMW at 21:02.
STAR RATING: ****1/4 -- For a spectacle bloody cage match, it's buzzworthy to be sure. It seemed anticlimactic to have a full chapter of action following the crazy top of the cage moves by Primetime and Daniels, but for this genre of a match, very good.
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show. To contribute your thoughts on the PPV, click here.
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