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KELLER'S WWE Survivor Series PPV Report 11/14: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage

Nov 14, 2004 - 9:03:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES PPV
NOVEMBER 14, 2004
CLEVELAND, OHIO


-The event opened with footage from past Survivor Series events including the Bret Hart swerve. Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show from ringside. Then they went to Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler right next to them at ringside. Then they went to the Spanish announce team.

1 -- SPIKE DUDLEY vs. BILLY KIDMAN vs. REY MYSTERIO vs. CHAVO GUERRERO -- Cruiserweight Championship Match

Non-stop action early on was highlighted by a huracanrana by Mysterio taking Kidman off the ring apron to the floor. Tazz he hadn't seen that since his ECW days. In the ring Spike and Chavo battled, then Chavo dove onto both Rey and Kidman at ringside. Spike stood inside the ring with a smile on his face and his hand raised. Then he went for a dive, but everyone moved so he splatted on the floor. In the ring, Kidman begged off when Chavo faced him. After some exchanges between them, Spike and Rey re-entered the ring and worked one-on-one. With Kidman on bottom, Chavo in the middle, and Spike on top, Kidman took both men to the mat in an electric chair/superplex spot. Chavo knocked Kidman off the top rope as he set up a Shooting Star Press on Rey at 7:45. Spike then worked over Rey in mid-ring and went for the Dudley Dog, but Rey reversed Spike into position for the 619. Rey hit the 619, but as he went for the West Coast Pop, Kidman yanked on Rey's leg from behind, taking him to the floor. Chavo gave Spike the Gory bomb. Kidman sling-shot legdropped Chavo during the pin attempt. Rey took Kidman out of the picture, then Spike pinned the stunned Chavo.

WINNER: Spike Dudley at 9:02 to retain the Cruiserweight Title.

STAR RATING: *** -- Really good nine minute opener.

-Paul Heyman asked Heidenreich backstage who the man is. Heidenreich got worked up. Gene Snitsky then entered the picture. They went nose-to-nose and grunted. Snitsky said, "I like your poetry." Heidenreich said, "I like what you do to babies." They continued grunting and breathing deeply. John Laurenaitis was seen touching himself backstage at this point.

2 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CHRISTIAN (w/Tyson Tomko) -- Intercontinental Title match

Christian came out to "Just Close Your Eyes," his new theme song off of the WWE CD. At least it doesn't sound like an angry man yelling about something in a deep voice as someone played a distorted guitar, like almost every other WWE intro song. They took it slow for the first three minutes, building tension with mind games. Benjamin skinned the cat back in the ring. As Tomko distracted Shelton, Christian shoulder blocked him off the apron, then rammed his head into the security railing. Jerry Lawler gave Jim Ross a hard time about where the Oklahoma Roll got its name. Christian choked Benjamin, then applied a chinlock that showed about as much light as any move I've seen. I guess I don't understand the physics of what kept Shelton from simply moving his head an inch backward and slipping out of the "hold" (and I use that term as loosely as Christian applied it). Christian began trash-talking Benjamin about being a flash in the pan. Benjamin attempted a comeback and whipped Christian sternum-first into the corner turnbuckles. Benjamin went for a Stinger splash, but Christian moved. Then Christian hit a DDT for a near fall. Tomko slid the IC Title belt into the ring, then distracted the ref. Christian ran at Benjamin, but Benjamin kicked the belt into Christian. He then hit a bodypress for a near fall at 12:15. As the ref got rid of the belt, Tomko gave a big boot to Benjamin's face. The crowd booed as Christian covered Benjamin. In a nice change of pace, Ross didn't say "it's over!" (a Vince McMahon rule for most nearfalls). Benjamin kicked Tomko off the ring apron with a drop spin wheel kick and then hit the T-Bone Suplex on Christian for the win.

WINNER: Benjamin at 13:22.

STAR RATING: ***

-Kurt Angle got in Edge's face backstage. He said he didn't appreciate what he wrote about him in his book. He said it wasn't funny when he was nearly bleeding to death naked. Edge said as long as the laughs were at his expense, he found it funny. Angle said: "My favorite chapter in your book was the one about you winning the World Title. Wait, you've never won the World Title." Edge said he took Shawn Michaels out, something he could never do. Angle said he's made Michaels tap in seconds. Angle bumped into Eugene backstage who was wearing very large blow-up hands. He said he is the first Olympic Gold Medalist in WWE and a former WWE Champion. He then began signing "You suck (clap, clap) you suck (clap, clap) you suck."

-A WrestleMania Rebound Moment aired with Steve Austin and Mike Tyson. Cole said WM21 is just four-and-a-half months away. He and Tazz talked about Staples Center in Los Angeles already being sold out for the event.

3 -- KURT ANGLE & LUTHER REIGNS & MARK JINDRAK & CARLITO COOL (w/Jesus) vs. BIG SHOW & EDDIE GUERRERO & ROB VAN DAM & JOHN CENA

Cena was introduced last and he had a serious look on his face. He had no sign of a scar from the stabbing. He slid into the ring and then right out and went after Jesus at ringside. He chased Jesus and Carlito to the back. Carlilto kept hiding behind Jesus. Jesus hit Cena with a rubber trash bin. Cena looked at him as if to say, "Seriously, why did you even bother." Carlito distracted Cena as Jesus hit him from behind. Carlito then got into a car in the back area. Jesus got in the passenger seat. Cena tried to break through the passenger window, but the car drove away. That protects Carlito from having to wrestle with his recently separated shoulder that needs surgery. Cena made his way back to the ring. Big Show headbutted Jindrak in the ring as the match officially began. RVD and Guerrero then each took their turn beating on Jindrak. Angle tagged in briefly, then tagged back out to Jindrak who quickly established his usual match pattern of needlessly taking the crowd out of the match with a chinlock followed by a rear bearhug. He showed less light than usual. Guerrero fought out of the bear hug and tagged in RVD. Angle tagged in, also, and at 9:00 scored a two count with a roll-up while gripping the ropes. Cole called it a two count, but then the ring announcer said RVD had been eliminated. That was absurd. The ref clearly saw not only Angle grabbing the ropes, but also saw RVD kick out. Really sloppy. Guerrero then quickly rolled up Jindrak and put his feet on the middle rope for leverage for the pin. Yeah, if Jindrak did a clean job, that would kill off his drawing power. Big Show chokeslammed Reigns and scored a pin. That left Angle vs. three babyfaces. Show went for a chokeslam, but Angle escaped and rolled into an Anklelock. Show powered out and sent Angle to the floor. Angle then walked away, not liking the odds. RVD met him on the stage. Angle decided he'd rather fight three men in the ring than RVD on the stage. That's a big compliment to RVD. As Angle yapped at RVD and walked backward toward the ring, he bumped into Big Show. Angle began crying and called a time out. Show kneed him in the gut, threw him into the ring. Cena hit an FU. Guerrero hit a Frog Splash. The legal man, Show, then entered the ring and made the cover.

WINNERS: Show & Cena & Guerrero & RVD at 12:18.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Carlito left before the match, Cena did almost nothing during the match, Jindrak wasted time with a pointless chinlock and bearhug, the RVD and Jindrak pins were farces, and it didn't get better from there.

-Coach interviewed Maven backstage, asking him if he thought he had a chance in the much or even deserved to be in it. Maven said, "What in the hell are you trying to say, Coach? That I'm not talented enough? That I don't deserve to be in this match." Maven said he was going to give him a personal demonstration. Snitsky then attacked him from behind. Fit Finlay and Steve Keirn helped Maven to his feet.

4 -- HEIDENREICH (w/Paul Heyman) vs. UNDERTAKER

After Taker's long intro, they went into a staredown. Cole said they are contrasting personalities with Taker being cold and stoic and Heidenreich being hyper and constantly moving. Taker opened with a series of punches. When ref Brian "Hepner" Hebner scolded Taker for closed fists in the corner, Taker turned to look at him. The ref dove out of the ring in an embarrassing placating to Taker's ego. What referee in any sport doesn't have the authority and will to stand up to the athletes he's in charge of? What referee wouldn't be fired for not asserting authority? What's the point of him being there if he's so chicken? Taker gave Heidenreich a guillotine legdrop off the ring apron at 4:30. Back in the ring, Taker walked the ropes and came off with a forearm. Taker went for a running big boot, but Heidenreich moved. Heidenreich got in a few punches and then knocked Taker off the apron to the floor. Heidenreich went into a brief chinlock, then hit a clothesline and some fistdrops. Taker moved out of the path of an elbowdrop. At 11:00 Taker hit Heidenreich with a flying clothesline for a two count. Taker followed with Snake Eyes, a big boot, and a legdrop for a near fall. Heidenreich came back with a sidewalk slam out of nowhere. This has now gone longer than either the Cruiserweight Title match or the IC Title match. Heidenreich punched Taker in the corner. Taker lifted Heidenreich and slammed him on his back and scored a near fall. Heidenreich grabbed the bottom rope to stop the count. Tazz wondered if Heidenreich was unbeatable. Heidenreich applied a sleeper from behind. Taker quickly suplexed out of it. Both men were down. Taker got up and chokeslammed Heidenreich as soon as he stood. Then he gave Heidenreich his Tombstone finisher for the win. Taker made some weird faces afterward, as if he were perplexed that it took so much to beat Heidenreich. That's his way of putting over his opponent after beating him clean. Cole and Tazz continued to basically turn Heidenreich's loss into a win by praising him for how much punishment he took before losing.

WINNER: Undertaker at 15:43.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Surprisingly decent, but still below average. I would have put ten of the minutes into one of the two earlier title matches, but the point they wanted to prove was how much punishment Heidenreich could take and that couldn't be done in five minutes.

-Maria interviewed Eric Bischoff backstage who said Maven might not be able to wrestle in the main event. She asked if there would be a replacement. Bischoff said there wasn't time because he was minutes away from his first vacation in years. They showed his bags sitting in the background.

5 -- TRISH STRATUS vs. LITA -- Women's Title match

Lita went after Trish aggressively, taking her to ringside and swinging a chair at her. The ref called for the bell just past the one minute mark. Trish came up bleeding and panicked about her nose. Just as Trish caught her breath, Lita jumped her from behind again. Refs had to pull her away again.

WINNER: Trish via DQ at 1:15.

STAR RATING: n/a -- Well, we'll have to wait until another day to see if Lita can hold her own in an actual match with Trish.

-Backstage, Cena was talking with his teammates. Teddy long stepped in and congratulated them for a good effort. Long told Cena he was appreciative of his speedy recovery. Cena complained about Carlito running from him. Long told him not to hate because that's not his style. He said he ordered Carlito to defend the U.S. Title this Thursday and if he doesn't show up, he'll be stripped of the title. Long said Cena would be Carlito's opponent.

6 -- JBL (w/Orlando Jordan) vs. BOOKER T -- WWE Hvt. Title match

After three good minutes of early action, they went to ringside where JBL threw Booker T onto the announcing table. Jordan clotheslined Booker T and then threw him back into the ring where JBL applied a Cobra Clutch. JBL shifted into a sleeper. The usual routine followed with Booker shaking his hands to try to get the crowd to encourage him to escape. Booker stood up, elbowed JBL, and escaped, but then got elbowed right back to the mat. Booker caught JBL on the top rope and suplexed him to the mat. JBL managed to throw Booker to ringside. When Jordan went after Booker again, Booker was ready for him and knocked Jordan backward. When JBL went after Booker, Booker slammed him to the floor, then superkicked Jordan. Booker rolled into the ring to break the ref's count. Fans chanted "Booker T, Booker T." Booker dropped Jordan over the barricade. Back in the ring at 9:00, Booker hit a top rope dropkick. Cole said these may be JBL's final minutes on Smackdown. Booker made the cover. JBL grabbed the bottom rope to stop the count. Booker went to the top rope. Jordan distracted him briefly. Booker then flipped with a legdrop, but JBL moved. JBL draped an arm over Booker's chest for a two count. Booker went on sustained offense, scoring a near fall. Jordan, though, interfered and JBL hit a DDT for a near fall at 12:30. Josh Mathews had enough and came out to help Booker. JBL destroyed him with a hard clothesline inside the ring, then threw him to the floor. Josh, of course, was dressed nicer than Ric Flair. Booker kicked JBL, knocked Jordan off the ring apron, and hit a scissors kick. He made the cover, but the ref was still down. A second ref entered the ring. Jordan yanked the ref out just as he was about to hit the mat a third time. Jordan grabbed the title belt and entered the ring. Booker gave him a Bookend. JBL KO'd an unsuspecting Booker with the belt. The ref came to and counted to three. Cole said JBL should write a huge bonus check out to his "chief of staff" Orlando Jordan.

WINNER: JBL at 14:48.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Slightly above average match. The Jordan interference was booked well to present JBL as a lucky heel champion, not a deserving one.

-As Creed played, Cole announced that WWE would be returning to the Middle East this holiday season.

-Backstage, Hunter, Batista, and Ric Flair talked about what Snitsky did to Maven earlier. Hunter said Evolution would be running Raw for the two weeks after winning tonight, and after that Edge and Snitsky would be in no condition when they controlled Raw to do anything to threaten his title reign. Batista told Flair, after Hunter left the room, "I cannot wait until it's my time to run Raw." Flair smiled, but seemed a little uncomfortable, as if he was taking part in some sort of betrayal of Hunter.

7 -- CHRIS BENOIT & RANDY ORTON & CHRIS JERICHO vs. EDGE & GENE SNITSKY & TRIPLE H & BATISTA (w/Ric Flair)

It began with Edge vs. Benoit. After Benoit got the best of Edge, Edge tagged in Snitsky. Benoit then tagged in Orton. They went nose-to-nose as Orton did some trash-talking. Snitsky shoved Orton. Orton kicked Snitsky in the gut. Orton tagged in Jericho. Snitsky went to work on Jericho, then tagged in Hunter at 2:00. Jericho tagged in Orton right away. Hunter, Batista, and then Edge all took turns beating down Orton. Benoit hit a series of five German suplexes, one on Hunter, one on Batista, and then three on Hunter. Edge and Benoit then battled, leading to Edge scoring the pin at 7:30. Hunter and Snitsky got into a shouting and shoving match. Batista stepped in for Hunter. Jericho applied the Walls of Jericho on Hunter. Batista made the save. When Flair interfered against Jericho, the ref ordered him to the back. Flair threw a hissy-fit. Flair returned seconds later. The ref again ordered him to the back. Flair threw another hissy-fit. Meanwhile, Batista fended off a double-teaming attack from Orton and Jericho, then threw Orton to ringside and gave Jericho a spinebuster. Hunter hit Batista with the World Title belt and Jericho followed up with an enzuigiri for the three count at 10:30. That left Snitsky, Hunter, and Edge vs. Jericho and Orton. Lawler pointed out that Hunter hardly had any support at this point given that Flair and Batista were gone and Edge and Batista declared their desire to take his title. Maven made his way back to the ring with a bloodied face and a bandage. He tagged in and went after Snitsky with a flying forearm. He showed great fire. The crowd didn't respond. They barely recognized him since he's practically been edited off of Raw in recent weeks despite being in the main event. He took Hunter down with a bulldog off the top rope. He let out a series of a barbaric yells, only to be KO'd from behind with a chair by a bloodied Snitsky (who may have been cut hardway above his eye from a Maven punch). The ref DQ'd Snitsky at 16:00. At ringside, Snitsky bashed Orton across the back with a chair. Hunter then pinned Maven at 16:45 after a Pedigree. Edge and Jericho went back to one-on-one action in the ring. Jericho backdropped out of a Hunter Pedigree attempt, but Edge then gave him a Spear for the win at 18:00. That left Orton against Hunter and Edge. Orton hadn't gotten to his feet at ringside yet after taking the chairshot from Snitsky. Edge and Hunter patiently waited for Orton to enter the ring. Then they double-teamed him in the corner. Ross got worked up, snapping at the ref and then at Lawler. Hunter scored two two counts in a row, then complained to the ref. He tagged in Edge at 21:15. Orton made a comeback and scored a near fall on Edge with a roll-up. Hunter thrwarted Orton's comeback with a spinebuster. Edge went to spear Orton, but Orton ducked and the spear took out Hunter. Orton then gave Edge his RKO for the pin at 23:00. That left Orton vs. Hunter. Hunter gave Orton a low-blow from behind. Orton surprised a nonchalant Hunter with an RKO and scored the pin.

WINNERS: Orton & Jericho & Benoit & Maven at 24:30.

STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Not ever boring, but it never elevated itself to anything close to a match that felt like it made the whole PPV worth purchasing. They had more time to work with, as it ended with 20 minutes left before the top of the hour, which could have been used to give Benoit more time in the ring than he had.

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