WWE Raw TV Results
August 5, 2013 - Episode #1,053
Live in Green Basy, Wis.
Aired on USA Network
Report by James Caldwell (@JCTorch), PWTorch assistant editor

WWE returned to live television with the standard Raw opening video package (with The Rock included) before going to basic pyro inside the arena. Michael Cole noted they are two weeks away from Summerslam before identifying the location tonight.

Daniel Bryan Corporate Make-Over

Already in the ring was Stephanie McMahon to introduce the show. A graphic on the screen labeled Stephanie the "Executive VP of Creative," immediately breaking kayfabe. Stephanie said it's no secret that her father, Vince McMahon, does not think Bryan is championship material.

Stephanie then introduced a video package of Bryan going through various spa treatments before hitting the gym and doing various leg and arm work-outs. Bryan, looking like Bruiser Brody, then visited a steakhouse and forced himself to eat a steak. The video concluded with Bryan looking concerned over his new look.

Back live in the arena, the crowd "No!'ed" before Stephanie welcomed out Bryan. Bryan came out on-stage dressed in a suit with his hair pulled back in a Brody ponytail and his beard straight. The announcers talked about refining a farm animal before JBL described Bryan as "dignified." In the ring, Stephanie smiled at her new creation, then gave the mic to Bryan.

Bryan asked the crowd if they really like his new look, which drew boos and No!'s. Bryan said that's strange. He said he would like to thank Stephanie for all of the time and effort that went into all of this (boos). Bryan said it's funny because he doesn't think "this" is what WWE wants. Rather, the company wants someone who is jacked up; someone who wears cargo shorts and a bright yellow t-shirt (boos for the John Cena reference). Bryan said they need someone who will sell a bunch of merchandise that people don't actually need. "It seems to me they want someone like John Cena," Bryan said to a mix of boos and cheers.

Bryan said he respects John Cena because Cena picked him as his opponent for Summerslam. But, Cena doesn't think he can beat him at Summerslam. Bryan said after all Cena is a *superstar* and sells movies and cereals. But, he's 5'8" with a scraggly beard and he's from the middle of nowhere. Bryan said the difference is Cena is an entertainer and Daniel Bryan is a *wrestler.* This popped the vocal males, leading to "Yes!" chants.

Bryan continued that while Cena has been here in sold-out arenas, he has not watched him crawl out of holes and filth to get to this point. Bryan said if Cena gets fired tomorrow, he goes back to his mansion and 20 cars and he will never wrestle again. But, if he were fired tomorrow - "and I just might" - he will be in every armory, gym, and dirtbox filled with a wrestling ring because he loves wrestling.

Bryan acknowledged cheers from the vocal males before asking the fans if they like wrestling, too. "Yes!" chants. Bryan smiled and said here's the deal. He's all dressed up in this suit for now. He said he'll comb his hair back for now and will do what they want for now. Because at Summerslam, he's going to do what everyone wants him to do - "I am going to make John Cena tap out!" Bryan then led his fans in "Yes!" chants.

Suddenly, Vince McMahon's music played. McMahon strutted down the ring, then entered the ring and faked out Bryan on a handshake. McMahon said he appreciates Stephanie trying to reconcile things between himself and Triple H via Daniel Bryan, then he mocked Bryan's attire and hair. "Just messing with you," McMahon said.

McMahon said he doesn't want Cena to be champion. And definitely not Bryan. McMahon then looked over Bryan again and said maybe he's warming up to ol' Bryan. McMahon said if Bryan were champion, it would be the first time a dwarf has been champion. McMahon continued to run down Bryan, who just smiled and laughed. McMahon then called Bryan a miniature Mick Foley because he's unkept and unruly. McMahon said if Bryan becomes champion, then maybe they can work something out. He said Bryan should listen to him because he has considerable influence over the WWE Title situation at Summerslam.

McMahon then surveyed Bryan's beard, which turned Bryan's smile into a frown. He said if Bryan really wants to be WWE champion, there's only thing they should do right here, right now. "And that's shave that beard off," McMahon said to boos. McMahon then asked for the chair to be brought out.

Stagehands wheeled a barber's chair down to ringside, then lifted it on-stage and down to ringside as Bryan led the crowd in "No!" chants. McMahon said these people don't know what they want; "I know what you want!" McMahon shouted.

[Q2] McMahon told Bryan that if the people truly want him to be WWE champion, then he will do what he says. McMahon reminded Bryan that he could be fired, just like he said earlier. He told Bryan that he just needs to take that one extra step. McMahon had pity on Bryan's beard, then asked Bryan if he really wants to be WWE champion. "Take that step. Take that first step," McMahon told Bryan. He told Bryan not to listen to the people. "Get in da chaaaair!" he shouted.

Bryan approached the ropes to leave the ring, then he slipped outside to approach the barber's chair. McMahon told him it will be all right from the ring, then he called for a barber. Naturally, Wade Barrett was the man for the job. Barrett's music played to zero reaction, then Barrett, sporting a beard, bounced to the ringside area as McMahon tried to dance to Barrett's theme song.

Barrett assembled his tools as McMahon continued to whisper from inside the ring. Barrett approached Bryan to shave his beard, but Bryan headbutted him before slamming Barrett into the barber's chair. Bryan then shaved off chunks of Barrett's beard, leaving him a mess. As McMahon seethed inside the ring, Bryan chucked Barrett over the guardrail before bouncing to the top of the stage.

On-stage, Bryan asked McMahon if he wants him to change. "No!" he shouted. No said he is going to be who he has always been and he will be WWE champion. Bryan then ripped off his dress shirt to reveal a "THE BEARD IS HERE!" t-shirt with an arrow pointing to his mouth to mock Cena's WWE Title t-shirt. Bryan's music played as McMahon threw a fit inside the ring. McMahon chucked a jacket into the crowd, then collected himself to end the 20-mintue segment.

WWE cut backstage to a split-screen of Rob Van Dam and Alberto Del Rio on a split-screen. Del Rio was accompanied by a returning Ricardo Rodriguez. RVD vs. Del Rio is next.

[Commercial Break at 8:21]

Back live, The Miz was on commentary. Michael Cole plugged Miz as the host of Summerslam, prompting an over-hyped plug from Miz. Rob Van Dam was then introduced for the opening match. As RVD made his way out, Cole recapped events two weeks ago on Smackdown when Del Rio snuck out a victory over RVD.

Justin Roberts then introduced Ricardo Rodriguez "returning from a serious injury" to introduce Alberto Del Rio. Cole filled in the storyline explanation that Dolph Ziggler put Ricardo through a table one month ago. As Del Rio made his way to the ring, Cole plugged Del Rio vs. Christian for the World Title at Summerslam in two weeks.

1 -- World Hvt. champion ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. ROB VAN DAM -- non-title match

Forty seconds into the match, WWE cut to a backstage shot of Christian intently watching the match. RVD gained the upper hand one minute into the match and delivered a spin kick on the outside leading to break.

[Commercial Break at 8:28]

[Q3] Back from break, RVD knocked down Del Rio with more offense inside the ring. RVD wanted Rolling Thunder, but Del Rio moved. Del Rio followed with a standing kick to the face, but RVD kicked out of a pin attempt. Miz plugged his role at Summerslam as RVD made a comeback, this time connecting with Rolling Thunder for a nearfall. RVD tried to follow with a split-legged moonsault, but Del Rio blocked.

Ricardo took this as his cue to try to set up the bucket in the corner, but RVD reversed an Irish Whip and Del Rio ate the bucket head-first. RVD then leg-rolled Del Rio for a three count and the win. On commentary, Lawler noted Ricardo must be a little rusty on his timing.

WINNER: RVD at 6:15. Basic match setting up the post-match...

Post-match, Ricardo tried to explain himself, then Del Rio stunned Ricardo with a side kick to the head. Del Rio punched away at Ricardo, then used the bucket to deliver a beating to Ricardo. Del Rio then chucked Ricardo over the top rope to the floor as JBL noted this is what you do to an employee who screws up. Is that in the H.R. handbook? Del Rio then placed Ricardo's head inside the ring steps and ringpost before delivering a dropkick that crunched Ricardo's head/neck.

Del Rio jumped into the ring and flashed his title belt as Ricardo remained lifeless ringside. After a replay of the beating, they cut to a live shot of Del Rio standing tall on the ring entrance. Meanwhile, medics were tending to Ricardo to sell the injury angle.

Still to come: C.M. Punk vs. IC champion Curtis Axel.

[Commercial Break at 8:36]

Rhodes Scholars Explodes

Back live, Cody Rhodes was in the ring. Cody, dressed in a suit, said Damien Sandow is not a true friend, then he pointed to a gift standing at his feet. Before getting to the gift, Cody introduced a video package on his back-and-forth with Sandow the last two weeks on Smackdown.

Back on Raw, Rhodes said he knows how much it affected Sandow watching his MITB briefcase sink into the Gulf of Mexico, so he spared no expense getting this gift. Out from the box was the Smackdown MITB briefcase covered in various seaweed-type items. Rhodes told Sandow to come get his briefcase. Sandow marched to the ring demanding the case be placed down and Rhodes depart. Rhodes obliged and tossed down the mic, then Sandow charged the ring, but Cody tackled him. Cody and Sandow fought, then Cody kicked Sandow out of the ring.

As Sandow complained ringside, Rhodes opened the briefcase and dumped out the contents, revealing a soaking-wet contract for a World Title shot. As the crowd sat silently for this skit, Rhodes chucked the briefcase to the floor after retaining the soaking-wet paper contract. Cody's music played to end the skit.

[ JC's Reax: It's amazing how WWE took a hot issue between Cody and Sandow at MITB and watered it down (excuse the pun) to another fourth-grade-level playground fight. The way Cody is being presented in the babyface role isn't working right now. ]

[Q4] Up Next: Mark Henry vs. Ryback. Cole billed it as a WrestleMania re-match. Isn't that worth promoting in-advance?

This Sunday: The Most Unlikeable People On TV return to "Total Divas" on E! On this episode, one of the Bellas is drunk, one of the Usos has anger problems, and Daniel Bryan sits cross-legged on the floor.

[Commercial Break at 7:47]

In-ring: Ryback was introduced for the next match, followed by Mark Henry. Cole offered some Green Bay Packers references to these two big men set to square off, then the opening bell sounded.

2 -- RYBACK vs. MARK HENRY

The match started with a "Goldberg" chant before the two big men met center-ring. Ryback then thumbed Henry in the eye to chop-block Henry and begin working on the left knee. Henry tried to come back with a powerslam, but Ryback slipped off Henry's shoulders and bailed to the outside.

As Ryback regrouped on the floor, the ref administered a ten count, then Ryback decided to back away at six, call it a night at eight, and get counted out. On-stage, Ryback gloated about his decision as Henry yelled from inside the ring.

WINNER: Henry via count-out at 1:47. That explains the lack of advanced hype for the match, but in a kayfabe environment, no one would know in advance that Ryback would walk out of a match less than minutes in, so they should still promote the match-up as if it's a big deal and put the heat on Ryback for ruining a big match booked by the authority figure.

[Commercial Break at 8:55]

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