By Bruce Mitchell, PWTorch columnist

Note: The Mojo is my immediate, pretty much unedited reaction to what's happening on a particular TV wrestling show. It includes any misconceptions, poorly thought-out predictions, inaccurate memories, flat-out mistakes, and embarrassing misspellings I may make at the time. It's also not much of a recap, so I suggest you watch the show, read Caldwell, and let the Mojo complement your viewing.

So Donald Trump gave away all the commercial and house revenue plus the pay-per-view main event tonight? He clearly doesn't care whether his wrestling promotion makes money and he has a party girl daughter he wants to keep busy. Sounds familiar.

You know, if The King of Memphis had just beaten Austin Idol in the cage that long ago Monday night, this wouldn't be a first.

I think I know this story.

Trump comes out with his normal stick-up-his-butt demeanor. He says it's not his show, it's my show.

Really?

Put the commercials back on, cancel the refunds, and save the main event for the pay-per-view. If it's my show I want to make money.

John Cena is out. He puts over that megalomaniac Trump strong, since if Trump gets bored he might take his marbles and go home. Who would Vince McMahon play with them?

Ten minutes of Trump Ass Kissing ends, and Cena re-caps the Miz stuff. He's pretty smug doing it, like he doesn't take Miz as a threat.

Miz calls Cena a coward. Cena points out he's standing in the ring and Miz is all the way over there. Miz comes down to the ring.

You're a coward.

Cena says he'll give Miz what he wants – "a match with me at the Bash." It's both good news and bad news for Miz. Cena points out the adversity of having half the crowd against him in big show atmosphere.

In six days, The Real World is cancelled.

Cena describes how he's going to beat Miz up at the pay-per-view. When he finishes, the crowd is with him.

Miz, well, let Jerry Lawler describe it. "I think Miz gave Cena his best show and Cena wasn't phased." Miz runs away.

Mr. McMahon and his back up limo are stranded on the side of the road. The limo driver suggests either walking to the gas station or walking to the arena.

You could call a cab.

McMahon tries to ride the limo driver piggyback, then goes to wait in the car.

Smackdown announcer Todd Grisham and Jim Ross are at ringside. They're calling a Smackdown match. Jeff Hardy & The Great Khali & Rey Mysterio face IC Champ Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler & Edge.

Why are they doing this on Donald Trump's Raw show? Who knows?

There's Kentucky Grilled Chicken at ringside. Wade Keller has a notion that he tries to put out of his mind.

C.M. Punk comes down to the announcer's table before the match starts. He thanks Mr. Trump for inviting the SD wrestlers. There's a clock for the Last Man Standing Match. It's coming in 29 minutes.

Punk doesn't want Hardy to get hurt. He wants to resolve the issue between them at the Bash and find out once and for all who's the better man. That's what a babyface would want.

The crowd is all over this match, the freeloaders.

Hardy pins Ziggler with a Swanton. Punk goes to the ring to congratulate Hardy, but there's a moment when it looks like he's going to get him from behind. He also makes the insincere face when he raises Hardy's hand.

Mr. McMahon can't get in Trump's locked office. Santina Morella is behind McMahon, so he slaps him. Santina suggests they share an office – McDonalds, get it?

Trump points out he bought the office, then points Vince down the hall to his own office. Trump fires Santina, like he did Miss. California. That makes sense. As Santino says (through the power of the jump-cut), "Oh well, she had a good run."

If McMahon could have held back his bully lust a couple of weeks, Donald Trump firing Vickie Guerrero as his Raw G.M. would have been a lot bigger than what they did.

Primo and Carlito Colon makes fun of Legacy. "Randy and Teddy rub oil on (Randy's) body like no one else."

Cody Rhodes faces Primo Colon. I wouldn't have wanted to watch Dusty vs. Carlos either. The freeloaders aren't impressed. Cody steals one.

Goldust and Hornswoggle remind Mr. McMahon of old, bad angles. Goldust puts his long blond wig on McMahon like he did on Goldberg a hundred years ago. I remember arguing with Wade about Goldberg's stupid wig, and my head hurts again.

Trump gave Mr. McMahon a toilet for an office. Festus finishes up in it.

Triple H faces Randy Orton for the world title in a Last Man Standing match.

Triple H seems to injure his leg falling out of the ring. Orton goes after the leg.

Michael Cole announces John Cena versus Big Show for later in the night. Yes, again.

Orton continues to work on Triple H's leg. He whacks Triple H in the head with a steel chair. The gutsy Game fights back. Orton is going to RKO Triple H on the announce table but Triple H low-blows Orton.

He goes for the Pedigree but Orton strikes back with an RKO. Triple H barely makes the ten count.

Triple H tries to use a ladder to whack Orton outside the ring but wipes out two back t-shirted ring crew guys instead. Get a trainer! Creative stuff.

Orton uses the ladder to injure The Game's leg again. Orton sticks Triple H's leg between the two sides of the ladder and stomps it several times. The concerned crowd boos.

Orton dramatically goes for an RKO on the ladder to the near helpless Triple H. He escapes and hits a Pedigree on the ramp floor. Both guys are knocked out and can't beat the count. Orton retains.

The crowd isn't happy with the decision, but for all the cracks about giving away the main event, this was a hell of a well-worked match that ought to make fans want to see it again, only with one man clearly winning.

Miz tries to impress (did I say management favorite? I meant Miz favorite) Maryse.

Donald Trump heads to the ring with some Divas. It's hilarious what a stiff he really is. Basically he says they'll have celebrity Raw GMs every week, leading to WrestleMania 26. No way Trump lasts that long.

Mr. McMahon says Trump is costing him a lot of money. He hears Trump is going make Raw tickets free and commercial-free every week. How is that? McMahon sold Raw to Trump, so it's Trump's own money Trump is losing.

Trump tells McMahon he can do whatever the hell he wants. He can double his money from his billionaire buddies anytime he wants to sell Raw.

What an ego. I mean Vince.

Now Mr. McMahon wants to buy Raw back. No interest whatsoever. McMahon keeps making percentage profit offers. Finally he buys it back for double what Trump sold it.

If you ever cross my path again I'll kick your billionaire butt. Donald Trump, you're fired!

Trump slaps Vince. Security separates them. God bless Vince McMahon for getting that awful Trump off my TV, until next time.

It would be really cool if they immediately cut to a commercial.

McMahon confronts Orton on the stretcher. He throws Legacy out. McMahon says the title match at the Bash is two out of three falls – first fall is a regular match, second is Falls Count Anywhere, third (McMahon remembers to say "if needed") is a Stretcher Match.

He calls it the Three Stages of Hell. Maybe someone in Creative watched the pay-per-view last night. Isn't McMahon putting his son-in-law through hell, too?

Bellas & Mickie James faces Whatever Happened To Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes, and Miz Favorite Maryse. Apparently the Three Stages of Hell gimmick was used six-and-a-half years ago. It must have been a big success for them to bring it back now. Jerry Lawler tells the old joke about Russian hands and Roman fingers. It's maybe the oldest joke he's ever told on Raw. You get the distinct impression that he, Cole, and the Green Bay crowd are ready to call it a night. This match is no good. James pins Mendes with a Superkick.

John Cena faces Big Show, Yes, again. After the same old bad action, Show injures Cena's ribs. Cena catches him in the STF anyway. Miz saves show but Cena knocks Miz off the apron. Cena picks up fat Show for an Attitude Adjustment but Miz tips fat Show over on Cena for the pin.

Miz showboats over the knocked out Cena.

Randy Orton limps out of the parking lot but gets jumped by Triple H, who slams a car trunk lid on Orton's back. I guess The Game isn't the sportsman C.M. Punk is.

Score 5.0: It's like watching an old man have a nervous breakdown on TV every week, and I'm tired of it. At least that stiff Donald Trump is off my TV. I thought Triple H and Randy Orton put together a different match than usual and made a case for watching the rematch at the Bash, at least until Mr. McMahon added all those confusing stipulations. The Divas had a bad match as did Rhodes and Colons. The interplay between C.M. Punk and Jeff Hardy continues to be intriguing. If I never see John Cena wrestle Big Show again, I won't have to write about how bad their matches are.

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