By Bruce Mitchell, PWTorch columnist

Batista is out first. He thinks he's accepting an Oscar. He's humble and touched in front of the people. Again. Hey, he're always coming and going, and you always will be as long as he's that muscle-logged (and that old).

He's driven by retribution. Orton took him out with a chair and now if he's doesn't come out and get his, Batista will tear the arena apart.

Batista's partner at Backlash, Shane McMahon, comes out instead. Not much of a pop here. He stiltingly explains he wants retribution, too; he should want retribution from whoever wrote those words for him.

Triple H comes down. A little bigger reception – maybe the crowd is saving something for the three hours. Triple H looks at Batista and says, "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you – Randy Orton is mine."

Raw GM Vickie Guerrero is on the ramp. Now, that's a (Pavlov's Dog) pop. She gave Randy Orton the night off. She books a three on two handicap match – Triple H & Shane, & Batista vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase – if the good guys win, the winner of the fall gets a match with Randy Orton next week. If the jabronis win, (fat chance), no one faces Orton.

Let's see if I got this right: The heel General Manager just gave a major advantage to the three babyfaces (and a major disadvantage to the two heels), something that will hurt both the interest and heat in the match as fans contemplate the simple fact that the young bad guys are underdogs here. She does this so she can give away for free next week a match that is, in fact, more marketable than the next pay-per-view's main event.

Right.

The guy who shouldn't have been moved to Raw in the first place, Rey Mysterio, wins a match against ECW's Evan Bourne to win for Raw, the place he shouldn't have been in the first place, the first draft pick.

That draft pick is MVP, who could use a fresh start. He certainly looks happy. Wait until he starts counting the Raw babyfaces…

Smackdown's The Brian Kendrick (w/Ezekiel Jackson) faces Kane. It takes me longer to type the previous sentence than it does for Kane to chokeslam Kendrick for the draft pick.

Big Show is coming to Raw. He looks thrilled, too. He should. He has a clear path to the GM.

Randy Orton wants to know what Vickie was thinking. Yeah, I'd like to hear this, too. She says whoever Rhodes or DiBiase pins, they'll have to face Legacy three-on-one next week. That was no help whatsoever.

ECW Champion Jack Swagger tells World Champion John Cena he'll beat him tonight and win a draft pick for ECW. John Cena rightfully makes fun of Swagger's stupid "All American American" nickname. This is like an annoying kids argument, except it's less entertaining.

Man, Kelly has some abs.

Kelly Kelly & Mickie James, & Melina (Raw) face Natalya & Michelle McCool, & Maryse for another draft pick. McCool knocks out Mickie James for the win. Thank god; I was beginning to think Smackdown was getting cancelled.

Melina, the woman's champ, goes to Smackdown. It's still not very fair.

John Cena faces Jack Swagger. Either Raw gets two more draft picks or WWE pulls a counter-productive "surprise." Michael Cole and Matt Stryker root for their respective brands, although Stryker calls Cena "a pop-culture superstar." Let's not go crazy.

This is good back and forth action. Swagger certainly isn't getting squashed. He grabs the ropes and fights his way out of a Five Knuckle Shuffle and an Attitude Adjustment.

Swagger ends up tapping to the crossface. Raw gets Matt Hardy and... Triple H. Fans around the globe share the shock and celebration of Raw announcer Michael Cole at this development.

How about Jeff Hardy, just months ago the hottest guy in the business, losing two straight to his brother and the feud is over? How did that happen?

Edge takes this opportunity to jump Cena, who makes his own comeback.

Rhodes and DiBiase tell Orton they've got a chance if they keep Triple H, Shane, and Batista at odds with each other. They seem competent here.

A petrified (for more than one reason) Santino Marella faces The Great Khali for a draft pick. Beth Phoenix tells Santino she talked to Vickie Guerrero and if Khali wins, she sending Santino's twin sister Santini to Smackdown to be on the Khali Kiss-cam. Yikes!

Khali wins, Morella is getting kissed, and C.M. Punk is going to Smackdown with his Money in the Bank briefcase. That makes sense, since it will give Punk a new setting to use his MITB.

Actually, I figure Santino/Santini heads to Smackdown, since the heel transvetitie getting forcibly kissed against his will by the dumb foreign Giant is a kiddie angle if I ever heard one.

Actually Santino Morella is similar to Bugs Bunny, except Bugs was smatrer, and a babyface.

Miz (w/John Morrison) faces Kofi Kingston. The announcers say Miz is worried about the draft breaking up his team with Morrison – and he should be.

This turns into a pretty good match. It has a dumb finish, though. Morrison gets caught blatantly cheating right in front of the ref. Oh, how ironic, if Morrison hadn't gotten caught, Miz wouldn't be going to Raw.

Miz doesn't appreciate the irony, though, and jumps Morrison to make that point that he'll make a real impact when he hits Raw – on his own.

It's 15 man Abandon Ship Battle Royal for two draft picks, with Pinky Larsen, Abe Jacobs, Tom "Rocky" Stone, George South, Charlie Fulton, Nick DeCarlo, Les Thatcher, More Thatcher, Mike Jackson, Randy Mulkey, Pete Doherty. George "Two Ton" Harris, Rocky King, Mike Boyette, and Edge.

Edge wins, eliminating George "Two Ton" Harris. Smackdown gets two draft picks. Two Ton is mad at ringside. He thought he had him.

Kane is the first pick. Chris Jericho is the second. He smirks at Edge in the ring.

I keep thinking it's too soon for '90s nostalgia, (WWE Greatest Stars of The '90s) but then again it's 2009.

Christian faces Shelton Benjamin. Matt Striker is funny here, asking Jim Ross if Benjamin actually is "the greatest pure athlete he's ever seen." Ross understandably waffles a little at the answer, seeing how it's been five years and Benjamin is still mired in the mid-card. Christian wins a decent match with the code-switch.

ECW gets Vladimir Kozlov. Well, he's not going there to pass on his experience to the up and comers.

Triple H tells Shane to stay out of his way. Batista says, "Every man for himself. I'm cool with that."

WWE has a very interesting choice to make tonight. Either John Cena, their most popular babyface, goes to Smackdown, where he'll be seen in front of a million or so less fans on what may be a lame duck network, or Raw is completely overloaded with top babyfaces. (Shawn Michaels isn't going to SD.)

C.M. Punk faces Matt Hardy. Jeff runs down to end a disappointing match and get Punk DQed. Whattaya bet Raw gets Jeff? Wouldn't that be incredible?

Nah, it's Maryse. Actually, that figures too.

Chris Jericho faces Tommy Dreamer. Josh Matthews makes his case for announcer of The Year with this line: "If Tommy Dreamer is a legend, so too is the Brooklyn Brawler."

Matt Striker counters with, "Tommy Dreamer, zeppelin-like in his grace…"

Dreamer loses, of course. Rey Mysterio goes home to Smackdown. Maybe they'll know what to do with him.

Triple H & Batista & Shane McMahon (coming out in that order) face Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase. The crowd seems tired. Batista gets a Bomb on DiBiase, but Shane (!) makes the save. Shane and Batista fight (Don't you just love dumb, selfish babyfaces?) so Triple H tags himself and pins DiBiase with a Pedigree.

Randy Orton stares at Triple H for our Raw cliffhanger as the show goes off the air.

Score 5.0: This show serves two purposes – the normal hyping and advancing of characters, matches, and storylines – and moving the chess pieces to better advantage. Let's start with those chess pieces. Triple H back to Raw, Rey Mysterio back to Smackdown, John Cena, Shawn Michaels, and Undertaker stay put? There's not much there. The biggest thing would be C.M. Punk with the same old briefcase on a new (for him) show.

On the other hand, the major storyline pushed on the show, The McMahon Family versus Legacy, was clumsily executed. The babyfaces were dumber and more selfish than the heels, while Vickie Guerrero made some clunky decisions. It's beginning to look like acknowledging out-front that Triple H is married to Stephanie McMahon has hurt his tough guy aura.

I thought Jack Swagger helped himself with his credible performance against John Cena.

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