By Bruce Mitchell, PWTorch columnist

Mojo Mitchell's Raw Stream of McMahon Family Ties, Rourke Back in Play, A Couple of Horsemen Beatdowns, JBL and Slavery in America, and Stop The Presses, Cena Beats Jericho

We start with Shane McMahon in the ring. He apologizes for getting so carried away last Monday and asks for a do-over. "Now we'll have a brief intermission."

Legacy is in the ring. A really mad Shane comes down. He gets a few punches in on a shocked Randy Orton, but Ted DiBiase chop-blocks him from behind. All three members of Legacy beat the ever-loving hell out of Shane-O Mac and he's stretchered out. His mother Linda is seen on the ramp, on tears.

Sigh.

Shane McMahon says he thought Randy Orton and Legacy would charge him with assault. Instead he signed a match with Orton at No Way Out for a No Holds Barred Match and no one is allowed at ringside. I wish no one was allowed to watch. He's willing to do a couple of stunt bumps if it means he won't have to throw any more of those sissy punches.

Randy Orton says he told "Ted and Cody" to sell for the boss's son. No, really. He figured the WWE talent roster on the ramp would have beat him up if they beat up Shane. Why didn't they beat up Legacy anyway, if they were so concerned about their careers? It was all a trick to get Shane in the ring for a No Holds Barred match at No Way Out.

It's like watching the air slowly leak out of a balloon.

Legacy attacks. Shane easily beats them off with his stick.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Now for the regularly scheduled portion of our show:

C.M. Punk & Mickie James face C.M. Punk & Layla. The sexual tension between Regal and Layla builds every week. Regal, the best three minute wrestler in the world (In the U.S? on Raw?) kicks Punk in the head

"Wrestlemania II pushed the industry to its creative and technological limits." Well, its technological limits, for sure...

For all you youngsters out there, Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T is one of the worst matches in wrestling history. Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy in the tinker-toy cage was real bad, too. The best match had the Junkyard Dog in it. What does that tell you?

After their match Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes give Cryme Tyme a beatdown, Horsemen style. Jerry Lawler never saw anything like it, which figures. He was on wrestling, he didn't watch it.

A Mickey Rourke video airs. Nothing new, but it keeps hope alive.

Rourke says Vince McMahon, like Steven Spielberg and Larry Flynt, transcended his genre.

Chris Jericho is in the ring to talk about Mickey Rourke. Look, if you're trying to fool the Oscar voters into thinking Rourke isn't working WrestleMania, shut the hell up until the Oscars are over.

Jericho runs down Rourke and his friends Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, Ric Flair – the inspiration for Randy the Ram (Man, you'd think I'd have figured that one.). Flair, he says, is the worst. After an epic career, he signs autographs at high school gyms and does tell-all interviews with low-rent websites that won't even put my name on the DVD cover (ouch). Flair needs to give it up and go home to his family.

Jericho wants WWE to revoke these guys' status as Hall of Famers. That's tremendous.

John Cena interrupts to pander awhile, then says he's going to knock Jericho's teeth down his throat in yet another match between the two later on Raw.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho at 'Mania with Rourke in Flair's corner? Rourke boxing Jericho (that's what Mr. T did with Piper) with Flair as Rourke's corner man? Rourke & Triple H vs Jericho & Flair? Who knows?

Kane, teaming with Mike Knox, gets his win back against Kofi Kingston (teaming with Rey Mysterio.) The crowd gets into this much more than, say, the first segment of the show. Actually Kane pinned "poor Rey." That's actually an awful finish. Rey is the only real star in the bunch.

They look back at WrestleMania X... On the other hand, Owen vs. Bret and Shawn vs. Razor on the ladder were pretty darn good.

Stephanie and Shane are walking down the hall in the back when Randy Orton and Legacy beat Shane down Horseman-style. No Raw wrestlers around, so that makes sense. Orton is about to punt Shane's head in when he sees Stephanie askew on the floor. He wants to punt her head instead, because - let's face it - she's a bigger deal than her brother.

Suddenly Shane jumps in to take the kick in her place. What a family. They're such an inspiration, I think I'm going to show this footage at the next Mitchell get-together. I want my own sister to know I'd take a punt in the head for her, too, just like Shane did for Steph.

Excuse me, I need a tissue.

Mike Rotundo and Dean Malenko make the save.

Candace Michelle faces Beth Phoenix (w/Santino Morella & Rosa Mendes). Phoenix beats Michelle, then Santino dances.

Ric Flair will be on Raw next Monday to get a beating from Chris Jericho.

The other half of last year's WrestleMania main event, Shawn Michaels, is about to get his performance assessment from his boss, Mr. Layfield.

I swear to god, there's a "You Screwed Bret" sign in the crowd.

JBL says he fulfilled his end of the proposal. Michaels admits it. JBL mispronounces Machiavellian. Michaels says he tried his best, including throwing a match. (WWE needs to knock that off. We know it's fake, just don't go out of your way to remind us.)

JBL proposes A Winner Take All between the two at No Way Out. If Michaels win, he's free and gets enough money to ensure his financial security. If JBL wins, Michaels gets nothing and JBL owns his name and Michaels has to work foor him forever. He can dress him up like a monkey and make him dance at JBL's own HBK restaurant if he wants.

JBL is tremendous here, channeling Vince's McMahon fantasies and grudges about the wrestlers under his control.

If Michaels accepts, he can't touch JBL until the match. Michaels emotionally takes the match. JBL pokes him in the chest several times and slaps him in the face, telling Michaels he's washed up and could never beat a wrestling god like JBL. Michaels is almost in tears in frustration, and finally leaves.

This is pro wrestling booking the way it's supposed to be. Make the people want and anticipate something – in this case Michaels knocking JBL's head off with a Superkick - then make them pay to see it.

The money here is in JBL winning, and our hero facing impossible odds on his way to redemption.

Stephanie gives Kane a slot in the Elimination Chamber in exchange for Kane getting his brother The Undertaker to face Randy Orton live on Raw next week. I like that they'd promo'd a a unique match like that a week ahead of time, but Steph couldn't just put up the 'Taker symbol herself?

John Cena faces Chris Jericho again. These really should be reserved for pay-per-view. It's good, though, which is probably part of the reason they keep going back to it. Cena makes Jericho submit. If I were Chris Jericho I would refuse to wrestle that guy any more.

Michael Cole plugs Ric Flair's appearance next week. Well, he always could draw a rating. He also plugs Undertaker. Him, not so much lately...

We suggest these recent related articles...

25 YEARS OF BRUCE MITCHELL - DAY 10 (2000): Titled “Death of Hardcore” as Bruce discusses the apparent end of the Hardcore Wrestling era and also suggests what ECW must do to regain relevance

25 YEARS OF BRUCE MITCHELL - DAY 9 (1999): Titled “Children” as Bruce discusses Vince McMahon's marketing approach toward children and how he deals with controversy like a child would (with a great opening line)

25 YEARS OF BRUCE MITCHELL - DAY 8 (1998): “Stolen Moments” - Bruce lays out case for Flair as Greatest of All-Time as he dealt with locker room politics in WCW Nitro era