By Bruce Mitchell, PWTorch columnist

We start the hour a third of the regular audience forgets with some announcer detailing how many hours of my life I wasted watching this show (as opposed to all those other hours of TV I watched that were so worthwhile).

Randy Orton in street clothes comes to the ring. He reminds us about his ultimatum to Shane'n'Steph: Fire Raw G.M. Mike Adamle or he walks. In true cliffhanger fashion (except, who cares?,)Randy says S'n'S won't be out quite yet. He takes a seat at ringside to wait them out.

The Hardyz face that loser MVP & The Brian Kendrick (w/Ezekiel Jackson). The Hardyz get the big screams again. Kendrick is putting out the effort. The Hardyz win, MVP is a loser, and everybody smiles.

Bobby Heenan yells at Sean Mooney because he can't get in the first Monday Night Raw.

Two fresh-faced youngsters, 123 Kid and Razor Ramon, face each other early on

An eight-man over-the-top-rope Filler Royal for, get this, an IC Title match is up next. Santino Morella and Beth Phoenix come to the announce table. Let's see, it's Snitsky and Regal and Rhodes and uh Lenny Montana and Mario Galento and Ron Wright and Big Daddy Shirley Crabtree

Steph tells Shane, "You handle this, you know what to do" for the first time in the history of their involvement in the business.

Wow. Episode 409, just half the shows in, was when WCW went out of business. WWE has had a monopoly in the business for a long time, and it's hard to say if they've really gotten the most out of it. Shane "buying" WCW, what a bad idea.

Shane tells Randy Orton he doesn't appreciate the tone Orton has taken. Orton yells at him, Shane plays the McMahon respect card, and then Mike Adamle comes down. He needs to say something. He intended to stay neutral. He thinks that made him special. He starts to fake cry. "This job corrupts. That's why I'm resigning as the GM." He's stammering. They actually fired him, at least from this job. "I want to thank you" blah blah blah…

He walks out.

Orton wants an apology from Adamle, too. Shane wants Orton to apologize to Adamle. Orton bows up. Shane bows back. He's a McMahon, you know. He's talked to Orton's doctors and he found out Orton was cleared to wrestle weeks ago.

Randy doesn't have any gear. Shane has it covered. Randy has to wrestle the guy he kicked in the head and caused to lose the World Title - C.M. Punk.

Shane then does the Ali Shuffle.

What are the odds C.M. Punk does a big promo about his chance to finally get revenge on Orton? What are the odds the idea even occurred to anyone beside Punk?

Maybe they won't have time.

Vladimir Kozlov faces Bret "The Hitman" Haas. Haas gives his sunglasses to some kid. The kid has no idea why Haas did that. Kozlov squashes Haas in thirty seconds to no reaction.

Surprisingly, Batista is confident about tonight's steel cage title defense against Chris Jericho.

The first hour main event is up, so as the dullards who forgot about the nine o'clock start tune in, they'll see Triple H and Shawn Michaels, Degeneration X. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss…

Are you ready? Shawn's not ready. He claims he was watching ECW last Tuesday night, and Miz & Morrison were "harsh" in spoofing DX. He shows Triple H what they did, then makes fun of how derivative they were. They mocked Triple H's big nose and Michaels's chaps. Triple H mocks Michaels's receding hairline. It's the kind of gentle joshing about each other's foibles that either longtime comedy teams or longtime married couples use to pass the time.

They show Miz's big-toothed senior picture. "He was quite the athlete. That was just after he placed third in the Kentucky Derby... No offense, Lillian. "

In the only genuine moment, except for Adamle's stammering, on the show, Lillian Garcia yells, "What was that!?"

They show a high school picture of Morrison, bent over a little. Here we go. "Assuming the posture he would use in rest stops across the country. their right to join together as man and wife and make a family..." or some sort of Proposition 8 deal - except which couple has been together longer, again.

Degeneration X faces Miz & Morrison. Well, it isn't a Chorus Line For Dusty, at least in the beginning. "Morrison even does Michaels's Sweet Chin Music, and connects!" Miz tries the Pedigree on Triple H, but he ain't going for it. He powers out, Michaels gets rid of Morrison, Michaels hits the Chin Music on Miz, who goes flying into Triple H's Pedigree. Degeneration X wins.

Pretty much what you'd figure. except maybe not as big a deal.

JBL has a business proposition for Shane McMahon. He proposes changes, with him being the new General Manager. Shane takes it under advisement, but first wants JBL to wrestle in a main event. JBL thinks he'll be added to a Triple Threat cage title match. He gets the Undertaker instead. JBL is great here, trying to play it off like he's not scared.

Mike Tyson on Raw. Now, that idea worked.

A 16 Diva tag match. Oh yeah, Mae Young, too. The Divas sell for her left hands. She takes a scary fall, but gets right up. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Beth Phoenix pins Mae Young from behind, preserving the realism of the match.

Santino celebrates his girlfriend's triumph. Mae Young looks thrilled.

Raw Rewind: The Rock learns a little something from the man Danny Bonaduce calls the greatest wrestler of all time.

C.M. Punk does the job for Randy Orton. Well, not really. Orton is going for The RKO when Ted DiBiase jumps Punk, presumably because Punk won the tag belts from he and Cody Rhodes last week. Orton is mad and kicks DiBiase in the head, crushing his skull.

This makes no sense. Punk looks like nothing. So do the young heels. The fans just want to see the star do his big star move. They don't care that Orton is a heel.

Orton intimidates the conscious members of the legacy team, and inspires them too.

Steph blows smoke up Mike Adamle, but he's upset because Shane and Steph confuse him. She's a McMahon and controlling this show is her birthright - in case some of you are wondering. Shane comes to tell her he's got a big Survivor Series announcement to make. A shadow comes over her face.

Please, God, don't let them feud.

Jim Ross comes out to wave goodbye... I mean... to get his standing ovation. He joins Tazz for the JBL vs. Undertaker Smackdown Special.

It's pretty much your usual Undertaker-JBL match. These two longtime friends and allies know how to have a match together. JBL is happy to survive with a countout, but Shawn Michaels comes from behind and throws him back into the ring to take an Undertaker Tombstone.

Did Chris Jericho fall asleep in the tanning bed? He wants to know from Shane McMahon what his big announcement is. Shockingly, Shane tells him. The champion after tonight's cage title match will defend at Survivor Series against...

John Cena.

What, no big stipulation to tack on?

You can't have a Raw clip show without Stone Cold and the Beer Truck.

Kung Funaki. Hornswoggle, the Boogeyman, Goldust, Sgt Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Jim Duggan. Michael Cole, and Lillian Garcia dance to Kung Funaki's new theme song rip-off of Carl Douglas's.

Four fingers.

Edge. Lita, and Kane. You know, that one didn't work either.

Kane & Mark Henry (w/Tony Atlas) face Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston. They acknowledge Evan Bourne's injury. Gee, I wonder who's losing the fall here. Henry powerslams Kingston for the win.

Kane tosses Rey Mysterio out to the floor on his face. The Great Khali comes out. If you'll recall he once crushed Rey's skull with his bare hands.

Khali, though, is a Big Friendly Giant now, though, so he starts throwing Baba chops at Atlas, Henry, and Kane. He sets a shocked Rey up so he can 619 Kane.

This sets up what will be a truly ridiculous looking tag team match at Survivor Series.

Steph loved Shane's announcement, but she wants to be kept in the loop. Keep the surprises at bay. They act like "Dad" is dead and they're making him proud.

Tribute to the Troops clips.

Batista defends the World Title against former champion. Chris Jericho. I'm thinking Batista goes over straight up here. This is your typical WWE cage match, with the typical grab-the-trunk spot, the typical cage door spot, and the usual push into the cage stuff. It picks up when the two work well together to make Jericho a credible threat to the larger Batista.

There's a cool spot where Batista catches Jericho going for the Codebreaker and throws into the cage. There's a new spot where Jericho climbs up and out over the door, but Batista catches him in the doorway. Go around, dummy, go around…

Up at the top of the cage, Jericho finds a steel bolt and busts Batista in the head with it.

Wow! Batista bleeds. I wondered how that PG 13 No Blood edict would stand. Batista is knocked semi-conscious, but he still fights to stop Jericho from going over the cage.

Jericho makes it to the floor. We have yet another new world's champion. Boy, was I wrong.

Michael Cole declares, "We've only just begun!"

Final Thoughts: A good cage title match with a surprising finish somewhat saved yet another bloated, three hour WWE self-celebration. The DX reunion gimmick is losing steam. The Revolution is over. Mike Adamle wasn't the problem, at least not the big problem, and a smirking Shane'n'Steph is no answer. The booking hurt Randy Orton and his prospective protégés tonight. JBL versus Undertaker wasn't much. Undertaker shouldn't make appearances where he isn't much. The Charlie Haas thing has run its course.

WWE was very lucky Mae Young put a smile on people's face tonight.

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