By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT TAKE
APRIL 12, 2012
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

-Opening segment featured Eric Bischoff in the ring saying he had business to take care of. The crowd chanted "We don't care." A way to show that is to get up and leave or just stand up and turn around. In high school, students would hold up newspapers during the introductions of their opponents before the game.

-Bischoff revealed his team at Lockdown to face Garett's team would be Bully Ray, Kazarian, Gunner, and Christopher Daniels. They all came out. Eric announced that there would be a Best of Three series on Impact between his team members and Garett's to determine the advantage at Lethal Lockdown.

-Quotebook - Bully Ray to Eric Bischoff: "You have made one mistake… and that mistake is your bastard son Garett Bischoff."

1 -- GUNNER beat MR. ANDERSON by DQ: Anderson didn't break in the corner with a boot against Gunner's throat. So Bischoff's team scores a win in the best of three series. It made Anderson look like his lack of discipline hurt his team's chances on Sunday. There wasn't provocation that justified Anderson hurting his team by losing control like that, and Garett's entire career is on the line so Anderson was pretty selfish in that regard. My only hunch is he is turning heel on Sunday, and this was part of the plan, although he really took it to Gunner during the match with aggressive offense, so he's hardly taking it easy on a "future teammate" if the plan is to turn.

-Tenay did try to explain Anderson's aggression by saying Robert Roode unleashed his aggression with the beer bottle shot last week. Anderson bled from the forehead when his forehead bandage came off during the match. Not much blood, but a little was visible. It was good that Tenay and Taz called out Anderson for hurting his own team by snapping like that.

-During the match Taz talked up the stips in the Lockdown match, which is intriguing. Either Garett has to quit wrestling if his team loses or Eric has to leave TNA Impact Wrestling and give up rights to use the Bischoff name. Either way, it's pretty much a no-lose proposition for TNA fans.

-Quotebook - Eric Young: "My butterflies are fluttering like crazies."

-When Joseph Park asked Young if he's thought about a prenup, Young said he already has "four or five dogs already" and "you've got the state laws." He doesn't know if he has four dogs or five dogs? I'd like to see Young be a guest star in character on the HBO Ricky Gervais series. I'd like to see Karl Pilkington meet Eric Young.

-The Motor City Machine Guns cut a mid-ring promo hyping their history as a tag team and vowing to become tag champions. They're more or less the modern day Fabulous Ones in terms of promos. They stand there with a cool fashion look for the day, talk themselves up with confidence without being annoyingly cocky, and issue a mission statement.

-Magnus did some good mic work as Joe spoke with body language and facial expressions. They have a completely unexpected and hard to explain chemistry as a team.

-Mexican American interrupted just as the two teams were about to fight. Hernandez and "Chavo" walked out and bragged up being tag champs. They got beat up by Joe & Magnus as the Guns cheered them on.

2 -- AUSTIN ARIES pinned CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

-Aries was a surprise reveal as a member of Garett's team, further solidifying his babyface turn. Made sense for Aries to win. I'd like to see Daniels challenge Aries for the X Title.

-The crowd liked what they saw as they chanted "This is Wrestling." Aries and Daniels can take more pride in the crowd response when they are rooting for Aries and booing Daniels and are so wrapped up in that part of the match that the good wrestling exchanges are the means to an end and not the end in itself.

-Jeff Hardy stood in the ring as they constructed the cage for the Eric Young-ODB wedding. He was short and sweet, as usual, in hyping his Lockdown match.

-Quotebook - Eric Young: "Tonight is going to be the best night of our lives. Nothing can go wrong."

-Quotebook - Taz: "Eric Young washed his hair and I think ODB shaved her mustache."

-Quotebook - Eric Young: "ODB, I promise to be with you forever and care for you always, even when you fart. I also promise to allow you to rub my feet whenever you want because I know you're into that and I care. I vow to be your tag partner in wrestling and in life now and for the rest of our lives together."

-Quotebook - ODB: "I promise not to take your last name, but to take your ring music. And I promise to slap your ass when necessary because I know you're into that. I promise to give you a buffet of bam anytime you want."

-Rosita and Sarita tried, without avail, to get Young to bow out of the wedding and have a fun night with them.

-I don't really know what to say about the wedding itself. It was strange, and that was even before the Justice of the Peace stripped to his underwear and undershirt.

-Did Ric Flair tell Bully Ray he once knew a woman with legs like his?

3 -- BULLY RAY pinned A.J. STYLES after KOing him with a chain. Distractions by Team Eric at ringside helped set up the finish. Afterward Hulk Hogan came out and told Eric it'd be five-on-five, not four-on-four and he had three minutes to come up with a fifth member for his team.

-Bischoff begged Flair to let him be in the match because he assumed Hogan would insert himself, and he said he wanted to put the final nail in Hogan's coffin.

-The crowd was chanting for Sting to be Eric's last teammate, but instead if was RVD. The crowd seemed okay with that, also. He's been gone long enough, it felt special for him to return for this.

-Good video package aired on Roode vs. Storm. It makes sense to put this video late in the show, after the RVD reveal, so the World Title match feels like the true main event of the PPV.

-Quotebook - James Storm: "In three days, the bullshit stops." No bleep by Spike TV there, either.

4 -- MICKIE JAMES & VELVET SKY defeated MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM

-Taz freaked out when Velvet Sky didn't rub her crotch against the middle rope as she entered the ring for her match. He said she's killing the gimmick and that he assumed the pigeons would come out at Lockdown.

-It's good that Tenay is noting how long Roode has held the World Title - five months - to convey more is at stake than a one month or two month reign. It makes it feel like Storm has a chance to topple something substantial at the PPV. Taz did a nice job, too, pushing the importance of the title.

-The intensity of the walk through history between Roode and Storm was really good as a show-closing, go-home segment to hype a PPV. I don't, though, believes Roode when he says he was never friends with Storm. It just doesn't seem credible to me. I'd rather have a story that Roode tells himself that's more plausible that he uses to justify his decision to change. I liked Storm's comeback, though, which is that Roode sold himself out for the money whereas he wrestles for the love of the sport and the love of the fans.

-Having Roode look down at Storm at the end of the promo by calling his wife a hillbilly and his kids rednecks brought things to a crescendo at the end. Storm rose to the occasion as the segment got more and more personal and intense. Closing with Roode mentioning his two dead brothers and dead father as evidence that he has "no damn luck" was pretty heavy.

-Good final push for the PPV. That show helps sell it.

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