By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT TAKE
MARCH 29, 2012
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

After a busy WrestleMania weekend, I caught up on TNA Impact Wrestling today. Here are my thoughts on last week's show first...

-Robert Roode, in a nice touch, surrounded himself with security guards as he cut a promo and then called James Storm to the ring. That reenforces the idea that he talks big but isn't willing to back it up one-on-one. James Storm did the obvious thing, but the right thing, in calling out Roode for how he treated Dixie. “What kind of man lays his hands on a woman?” he asked.

-Quotebook – James Storm to Robert Roode's “mall cops” security force: “I'm not here to steal a t-shirt, I'm here to kick the livin' crap out of him.”

-When Storm turns up the intensity, that's when his promos get better. That's not the case with everyone. There's still, though, a little tinge of insecurity in his face that betrays the bravado in his words and inflection. He still doesn't seem to fully believe he's a top level star, unlike say, Michael Hayes and Dusty Rhodes and Steve Austin, all of whom he seems to channel with his promo style when he is at his best.

-Christy Hemme doing ring announcements from the crowd seems a little gimmicky, but I do lke her post-match interview in the aisle that she did with Madison Rayne. Post-match interviews should be done more on TV wrestling.

-I'm still a fan of “The Office” style filming of backstage candid segments that suggests the wrestlers are being filmed in a conversation that's not put on for TV. The Robert Roode-Bully Ray exchange would have felt too scripted if the camera was obviously there, so filming through the blinds in the window covertly makes their exchange seem more natural and happenstance. I do think they need to limit how often they use that technique so it feels special and "needed" - i.e. these two wrestlers would have never said this in front of a camera knowingly.

-The Dixie Carter-Hulk Hogan conversation on a park bench was a natural follow-up to the show-closing angle last week, but it probably went on too long considering what most people probably tune into a wrestling show to see. Plus, it's one thing for the candid camera to catch Roode and Ray talking backstage at the Impact Zone, but it's a little creepy that the roving camera followed them to a park. In general, though, Hogan hasn't shown himself to be any kind of a ratings draw or even a prestige-booster for TNA lately, and that TV time could be better focused on so many other wrestlers and in-ring storylines. The “battle for power” stuff is just passe and worn out, without any track record of being a vehicle for anything other than a manufactured excuse to put people such as Hogan and Dixie who don't or can't wrestle a reason to be on TV.

-Quotebook - Hulk Hogan: “My instinct says this ship has already sailed way too far without me.”

-Christy Hemme still looks way too sexualized for a dignified ring announcer. Boobs hanging out, heavy make-up, short short plaid skirt with high boots - just the overall look is undignified for someone in the ring announcer role. Instead, she could easily be sexy yet professional, in a Lilian Garcia wardrobe type of way, a way her mom would be proud of but guys would still enjoy looking at. It's just bordering on sleazy the way she presents herself. There's just nothing subtle. And she's good at ring announcing so she doesn't have to put herself out there like that to earn her keep.

-Quotebook – Kurt Angle: “If you lose, then the Kurt Angle bus is leaving the bus station for good, baby.” Taz in response: “Kurt Angle has lost his mind, I think.”

-Quotebook – Austin Aries: “When I step into this ring, I'm not the biggest guy, but I've got a set of balls every bit as big as both of your calves.”

-The Austin Aries apparent babyface turn was well done by offering himself to Storm to team with him against Ray & Roode . The crowd already liked him, and turning him against Bully Ray makes sense. I wish Mike Tenay and Taz expressed a little natural skepticism, though, that Aries was sincere or trustworthy. They seemed to trust him instantly, which doesn't seem natural given how arrogant and untrustworthy he had been in the past.

-I'd love to film Jeff Hardy walking down the street scaring people with those eyes drawn on his eyelids He's just creepy.

-Good job with the “Longnecks and Rednecks” music video. The story it told of Storm playing pool and drinking beer in a bar, then coming to the rescue of a woman being abused by a guy in a bar fit his character. The band playing his song in the bar with Storm singing along worked, too.

-Quotebook – ODB to the wedding planner: “I always like a pearl necklace and all, but it looks like it's going to give me a rash.”

-Quotebook – ODB to Eric Young: “You, me, we're getting married at Lockdown in a steel cage.”

-I can't believe in 2012 I'm still watching Eric Bischoff do the same act that he did on Thunder during those miserable awful dying days of WCW. He's very convincing as a miserable, arrogant prick, but at some point when it doesn't serve any purpose to promote wrestling or sell PPVs or tickets, and instead it's part of the proven ratings-killer of “backstage power battles,” it just has no upside. It comes across as someone being written into a show because, well, he needs to justify his salary and because he's a former WWE/WCW personality, which TNA hasn't completely rid itself of feeling is necessary to be major league. The fact that it's part of the overpush of Garett Bischoff makes Eric's presence even more of a turn-off. For what the storyline is, it's well executed. It's just not a storyline that should be taking priority over dozens of other ways TNA could be using the same TV time.

-Really good video package on Storm training for his Lockdown match with Roode in the woods and saying he has earned the no. 1 contendership and will become champion.

-The camera panning up Hemme's legs as she does ring announcing is like hitting viewers over the head with the “hey look everyone, she's got sexy legs.” It's just too forced and unbecoming to the point of being tawdry and kind of desperate. It's like some late night chat line commercial.

-Bully Ray told Aries he has a big mouth for a small man. I just do not understand the decision to constantly point out the smaller size of X Division wrestlers. There are great discrepencies in the size among “heavyweights” that isn't greater than the difference between, say, Aries and Storm and Roode. It's just so self-defeating and unnecessary to make that an issue overtly like Ray did there. Viewers are thinking about Aries's size a lot less than other wrestlers and the writers do; I'm sure of that.

-There's something not right about positioning Hogan and Dixie in the main event spot on the show, after a tag match that includes the World Champ, X Champ, and top World Title contender. I just don't think the key Spike TV demographic are wrapped up in the Hogan and Dixie drama. That's not why they tune into a pro wrestling show.

-I am glad they're calling Hulk Hogan's position “General Manager” instead of “Authority Figure” or some other vague term. In the end, Hogan's best role is G.M., something defined and regular that involves him working with other active wrestlers. But ultimaltely he really needs to shift to something that goes against his survival instinct - use his charisma and star power and reputation to get other people over. He would be so much more popular and welcomed by fans if he appeared when fans felt TNA really badly needed an enforcer G.M. to show up and even the playing field for their babyface. But when the show is built around "will he accept the G.M. spot" or whatever, it's like the NBA Finals centering around David Stern's decision to stay on as commissioner rather than the two teams playing.

We suggest these recent related articles...

KELLER: Austin says no to Lesnar match, and he's right; Sting & Taker are wrong

KELLER: What was the Vince McMahon tweet about “E is for Entertainment” above New Day dancing with The Authority all about?

LATEST WADE KELLER VIDEO BLOG: Three Hot Topics - Hogan, Angle, ROH