WWE SMACKDOWN
SEPTEMBER 16, 2005
TAPED IN LITTLE ROCK, ARK.
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, TORCH EDITOR

-Clips aired of Chris Benoit beating Orlando Jordan in less than 30 seconds several times.

-The first match was scheduled to be Christian vs. Benoit, but Jordan came out and interrupted the ring intros. He said he needed another chance. Jordan jumped Benoit from behind and beat him down. Benoit fought back quickly with a crossface. Christian attacked Benoit from behind with stomps. Jordan joined in for a two-on-one attack. Booker T ran out for the save. The ref turned the match into a tag match.

1 -- CHRIS BENOIT & BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. CHRISTIAN & ORLANDO JORDAN

Good pace for the opening four minutes. Jordan slowed it down with a chinlock on Booker. Booker escaped and made a comeback. Jordan tripped up and hit Christian with a low headbutt. Benoit went for a Sharpshooter on Christian. Christian poked Benoit in the eye with his thumb, then went for an Unprettier. Benoit applied the Crossface at 6:00. Jordan made the save. Booker took down both heels with side kicks. Booker yanked a chair away from Jordan, but yanked Jordan into Sharmell in the process. Sharmell went down. As Booker checked on Sharmell, Jordan threw him into the ring steps. Benoit hit his series of German suplexes. When he went to the top rope, Jordan knocked Benoit off the top rope. Christian then gave Benoit the Unprettier for the win.

WINNERS: Jordan & Christian when Christian pinned Benoit at 7:37.

STAR RATING: *1/2

-To promote the TV main event, a Summerslam rematch, a video aired on Randy Orton. It transitioned into a video on Undertaker with Taker narrating, talking about Orton's failed attempts to kill off his legend.

-They went backstage where Batista walked up to Stacy and Christy Hemme and sprayed them with water. They giggled. Then he walked up to Simon Dean, who spit up a mouthful of his Simon System on a backstage worker "Rudy" when Batista slapped his back. He then took a sip and gagged.

[Commercial Break]

-Batista walked out to the ring to face G.M. Teddy Long and Palmer Cannon, or as Batista called him, "the network guy." Batista said JBL gave him a run for his money last week, but now it's time to name a new no. 1 contender. Long said there are a lot of men in the locker room who would like to have a shot at his World Title. He said there is one man who the fans would like to see face him. "That man's high-flying style is world famous, a Latino underdog whose story is like that of David and Goliath, a family man who fights for what he believes in." He then was about to introduce Rey Mysterio, but the network exec yanked the mic out of his hand and said, "Eddie Guerrero!" Out walked Guerrero. Guerrero said he used to be known for addiction and manipulation, but now he's "all about love." He thanked Batista for accepting him as the new no. 1 contender for his World Hvt. Title. He then kissed up to Batista as a great, honorable champion, then said he wants to prove they can have the greatest wrestling match ever. Batista finally took the mic and said he might be on to something. "We don't have to be enemies," said Batista. Guerrero enthusiastically agreed. "We're the two amigos," added Batista. "Everybody knows the kind of man you are. Just imagine what kind of champion you would make if you could beat me." Guerrero struggled subtly to keep his composure, and then said they could actually become friends, "maybe even best friends." Guerrero offered a handshake. Batista said, "Friends don't shake hands, they hug." Batista then moved Network Guy in to hug Guerrero. They showed a close-up of Guerrero who made a face like he wasn't sure what Batista was up to. They exchanged smiles as the segment ended.

-Cole plugged a rematch of LOD vs. MNM, and a clip aired of Melina's attempted interference backfiring when Animal snatched the belt away from her and used it as a weapon on way scoring the pin.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- LOD (Animal & Heidenreich) vs. MNM (Mercury & Nitro w/Melina)

The ref caught MNM using a tag belt as a weapon. Unlike last week, the ref caught the infraction and called for the immediate bell. Cole said Heidenreich & Animal have MNM's number.

WINNERS: LOD via DQ at 4:50 to retain the WWE Tag Team Titles.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Cole and Tazz plugged JBL vs. Rey Mysterio and Orton vs. Taker.

[Commercial Break]

-Backstage Long and Cannon were talking when Guerrero interrupted and thanked Long for making him the top contender. When he left the room, Long chewed out Cannon for announcing Guerrero when he knew he was going to announce Mysterio. Cannon said he didn't mean to step on his toes, but imagine the great Batista-Guerrero match headlining the marquee. Long just shook his head.

-Cowboy Bob and son Randy hugged backstage. Orton said the legend of Taker would die and tonight they'd bury it. They pounded on the side of a truck parked backstage. Cole wondered aloud what was inside the truck.

-JBL's ring introduction took place.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- JBL vs. REY MYSTERIO

Rey Mysterio came out to his new entrance music (although it had the same brief opening so he still gets the pop). It's "Booyaka 619" b y Mad One and Rey Mysterio. JBL dominated for the first four minutes, hinting that he would be losing. He made a comeback and hit the Rough Rider in the corner. JBL blocked a monkey flip attempt. He signalled for a Clothesline from Hell. Rey surprised him with a 619. He caught Rey's Drop the Dime attempt. Rey punched out of it and hit a sloppy springboard moonsault into JBL. JBL caught him and fell backward to get pinned.

WINNER: Mysterio at 6:42.

STAR RATING: * -- Sloppy finishing move and one-dimensional match otherwise.

-Backstage, Nunzio demanded to Long and Cannon that he get some respect since he's the Cruiserweight Champion. Cannon said he'd like to see every champion on the show. He decided, with encouragement from Eddie Guerrero, to book Nunzio against Batista in a battle of champions. Is Vince McMahon trying to make a point that smaller guys, no matter what belt they hold, will always lose to bigger champions in a sad attempt to demean the TNA X Division? The McMahon Family's complete oblivion at the potential of the Cruiserweight Division if treated with respect is beyond reason.

[Commercial Break]

-Josh Matthews interviewed Ken Kennedy. He gave Josh a hard time for smelling and accused him of soiling his underwear. He then gagged and said Matthews made him throw up a little bit in his mouth.

4 -- KEN KENNEDY vs. YAK PLITSKIN (sp???)

Kennedy once again did his own ring intro. He won with his ultra-dangerous looking finisher. He then announced himself as the winner.

WINNER: Kennedy at 1:03.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- I still don't get this guy's act. I'm not for or against it, I just don't quite see what the hook is yet. He's more obnoxious than funny or entertaining; he seems more like a MAD TV parody of a goofy wrestler than a compelling money-drawing act in the making. He's the love child of Hardcore Holly and Jim Carrey, if you can imagine such a thing.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- BATISTA vs. NUNZIO (w/Vito)

Tazz said, "Make no mistake about it, Nunzio is a very credible Cruiserweight Champion." Cole acknowledged Velocity (a rarity) saying they've seen Vito's antics on Saturday nights. It took just over a minute for the predictable line, said by Tazz, that Batista was just "toying with the Cruiserweight Champion." Vito's attempts to interfere didn't do much good as Batista tossed him out of the ring and later clotheslined and spinebustered him. Batista then slammed Nunzio onto Vito. The then signalled for the Batista Bomb and used it finish off Nunzio. Guerrero watched from the stage and applauded Batista's win. Tazz said if Batista is buying to Guerrero's act, he has a bridge to sell him.

WINNER: Batista at 2:54.

STAR RATING: 1/4*

-Cowboy Bob and Randy peeked into the U-Haul truck, then laughed maniacally. Cole and Tazz again wondered what was inside awaiting Undertaker.

[Commercial Break]

-JBL approached Jillian Hall backstage. He asked her for help. He said it's tough asking for help, but he wanted her to work for him. She said they can work something out.

-Full ring intros took place for the main event.

[Commercial Break]

6 -- RANDY ORTON vs. UNDERTAKER

Cole said there was a "big fight feel tonight" for the Summerslam rematch. Taker dominated the first 3:30, then Orton made a comeback and hit a superplex. He then called for his dad to back the truck into the arena. Out from the back rolled a casket. Cole and Tazz didn't understand what it was there for.

[Commercial Break]

After the break, Orton had Taker in a chinlock. Cole and Tazz wondered if someone was inside the casket. Orton stuck with a number of chinlocks. At 11:00 Taker caught Orton with a boot to the chin as he leaped off the ropes. Orton stopped Taker's comeback. Taker finally made a full-fledged comeback at 14:00. Taker took Orton to ringside and was going to slam him into the casket. When he opened the casket, though, he saw himself inside. The shot of Taker inside the casket was likely spliced in during post-production as they never showed the two at once. Taker looked shocked and disturbed. Tazz and Cole wondered how the Orton's pulled off that illusion. "Undertaker has seen himself in a casket," said Tazz. Taker set Orton up for a Last Ride, but Orton escaped. He swung at Taker, but Taker ducked and the ref got hit. Orton hit the RKO. A second ref ran to the ring. Taker kicked out, thanks to the extra recovery time. Taker then sat up. He grabbed Orton's throat and chokeslammed him. When he went for the pin, Cowboy Bob yanked the ref out of the ring. Bob attacked Taker. Taker easily fended him off, then he gave Orton the Tombstone. Orton went into convulsions. The original ref came to and counted to three.

WINNER: Taker at 18:35.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Tazz called it an "unbelievable main event... a great fight, a great match," but it was just an above-average match that told an okay story. Not bad, but not particularly exciting or compelling. Cole and Tazz did an admirable job trying to make it feel more important and exciting than it was.

[Torch art credit Grant Gould (c) PWTorch.com]

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