By Shane McKinley, Torch specialist

" Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a license for a gun
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can
A gentleman will walk but never run"
-"Englishman In New York" by Sting

-I enjoyed the last Impact. Can't go wrong with Knockouts. Angle vs. Sting in a cage? Goodness. Abyss stupidity was kept short and relatively pain-free (maybe they do listen). A.J. Styles became a chump again, but that's nothing new.

-The whole "philosophy" of the Main Event Mafia has some holes in it. Last Impact, which was enjoyable by the way, had Angle talk about how MEM is for guys who respect the business. Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't Joe and Matt Morgan, who are guys who care only about themselves, have become honorary members of MEM? Ah, they're pretending that they're in one of those "Godfather" movies. So cute.

-TNA's Knockouts division is quickly becoming respectable again. I have no idea why they wasted time in devoting video packages to the Sharmell vs. Jenna feud (a good portion of us don't care about it). But they threw in the promise of Kong doing havoc. I got a kick out of seeing Angelina Love in a bee-keeper outfit.

-The Beautiful People skits used to be "time to get a Mike's Hard Lemonade" type of thing, but they have grown to be amusing. A good portion of the first hour of Impact was devoted to the Knockouts, and it was a win.

-TNA's "Victory Road:" Where wrestling fans don't care about the matches; they care about surprise appearances. Let's go over the card:

Matt Morgan vs. Christopher Daniels: Where Morgan gets a win over a credible guy who used to have a tremendously credible character. (Tenay screaming at me to dance: "Dance to the music of Curry Man! Dance!") Fine, but I have no idea why these two guys are fighting in the first place.

Abyss vs. Stevie: Abyss PPV hardcore bump. Repeat. Although I'm guessing that Kane wishes he had this feud. Or any feud at all.

Sharmell vs. Jenna: Kong comes in and destroys every living thing. Jenna announces that she is leaving TNA and stays far away from wrestling. I dance happily in my living room.

Team 3D vs. British Invasion: British Invasion's main claim to fame is playing keep-away with Homicide of that cursed briefcase. Somewhere in the past month Invasion have become top contenders for those Japan belt buckles.

Tara vs. Angelina Love: This looks like to be a lot of fun. Thumbs up.

Kevin Nash vs. A.J. Styles: Even if Styles gets the win here, it's a safe bet that he will once again get lost in the shuffle. I have no idea why the match is taking place or what it is meant to prove. I guess if Styles isn't dressing up in stupid outfits, he won't get airtime (which is basically the length of a typical Jarrett backstage skit).

Joe vs. Sting: Taz. 13. FTW. Free The World? Sure, that's what it means. Maybe Taz will come out with an adorable magic marker tattoo on his face as well. TNA should be jerks and drag this thing out. "He's going to come the next PPV! We promise!"

Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley: Lashley. Pointing. Tune into next Impact.

I mention Lashley because really this main event match has nothing going for it. I would rather not see during the month of August the good ol' Jarrett gang (Jarrett, Foley, Sting) face off against MEM.

News out of this match is that it's not a hardcore match (yet). I remember the Foley-Ric Flair feud in 2005. Flair had called out Foley for being a stuntman and relying too much on garbage wrestling in his book. What I wanted out of the feud was for Foley not to go back to his security blanket. While I didn't think Foley was going to become the next Steamboat, I didn't want Foley to go back to blood and barbwire. Which what his feud with Flair basically resorted too.

Angle vs. Foley was once a dream match. Now it's an afterthought. Can still pull it off with interference and other tricks. "Hey, there's Al Snow...again! He's come down to help Kurt Angle! Oh no!"

Well, that's it. Make sure you drink while investing and if anybody gets up in your grill, make sure to adjust their attitude. Holla!

(credit to members.tripod.com for pic)

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com

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